After Being Mistakenly Taken for a Fellow Traveler by Emperor Long Aotian - Chapter 127

“So that’s how the story goes.” The young man said softly, “No talented scholar, no beautiful lady, no hero rescuing a damsel. It was a complete farce, a girl forced to protect her honor under her father’s pressure, and it was wrapped up as a match made in heaven. But in this story, there are two girls. One knows nothing, and the other hanged herself, realizing that her efforts to restore her reputation were all in vain.”

“Why are you telling me this?” The princess looked at him blankly, her cold or fatigued expression fading away.

“I have an enemy. I once wanted to kill him and take everything from him. Later, I saw him as a mere pest, but even a mosquito buzzing around can be annoying, right?” The young man plucked a flower from a nearby shrub and crushed it, its juice seeping through his fingers. “And he happens to be part of this story.”

“Zhou…” The princess froze, horrified. “Your surname is also Zhou…”

The young man chuckled lightly. “I no longer belong to that family.”

“What exactly do you want?” The princess asked warily. “Are you planning to use me for revenge? Use me to ruin Zhou Cai’s marriage, and through me, avenge yourself on the Zhou family?”

Her voice was tense with excessive caution, but the young man merely smiled. There was no malice in his expression, no evasion, and no explanation. He said, “Does Your Highness believe that seeking revenge is something disgraceful?”

His question left the princess feeling a sense of self-loathing. She pursed her lips and finally said, “But I don’t know you. How can I…”

Under the clear moonlight, she saw the young man bow to her and smile. “I just happened to meet the princess today and told her a story. How the story continues has nothing to do with the storyteller.”

“But I…”

“The storyteller ultimately tells someone else’s story. The ending they create is probably not as brilliant as the one the people in the story can give. I won’t overstep my bounds.”

“You!”

The princess wanted to follow, but footsteps came from behind her. Listening closely, she realized it was Li Miao. He seemed to have noticed that Zhou Xun and Yan Jia had left and had snuck out himself. She couldn’t leave, and Zhou Xun left on his own.

Zhou Xun walked in the garden, and after a while, he said, “Little Eunuch Li, you don’t need to hide in the bushes. Come out.”

…

There were rustling sounds from the bushes, and Little Li awkwardly emerged, holding two twigs. Zhou Xun looked at him, curious about why he was there and how much he had heard.

After thinking it over, Zhou Xun realized that apart from possibly inciting treason, there was nothing else objectionable in what he had said. But Little Li was quicker to speak. “Uh, Young Master Zhou! The emperor sent me to follow you!”

Zhou Xun: “…The emperor?”

“The emperor said that now that you’ve become the top scholar, you’re the perfect match in the eyes of every aunt and grandma in the capital. As you walk in the garden, some girl might jump into the water or spill wine on you, making you responsible, so he sent me to protect you!” Little Li spoke righteously. “If someone dares to approach with a wine glass, I’ll knock it over! If someone jumps into the water, I’ll call the palace’s water rescue team and pull you away! If someone tries to drug you, I’ll take you back to the Hall of Mental Cultivation… cough cough…”

Zhou Xun: …I can pretend I didn’t hear that last part.

Little Li laughed nervously. Seeing that Zhou Xun was still looking at him, he quickly said, “As for the princess… that’s perfectly normal. Our emperor and Prince Duan both like the same sex. What’s the big deal if the princess does too? Even the late emperor had male favorites. In the entire Da Jing dynasty, only Emperor Gaozong was the only unyielding straight man…”

…Which is why General Shen died, preferring to dig out his own heart rather than hand over military power and see his old friend again.

Zhou Xun: …

He didn’t know what to say for a moment, and finally asked, “Prince Duan… who is his consort?”

Little Li: “Oh, you don’t know, Young Master Zhou? Well, most commoners don’t. Prince Duan’s consort was once the chief of Wanjia Village in Liangzhou, now known as General Wan Chongming.”

Zhou Xun: …

The gentle, graceful, and virtuous image of a woman willing to endure hardships at the frontier with her husband collapsed in his mind. Zhou Xun said, “…General Wan?”

“Yes!” Little Li was excited, the walking gossip machine of the palace. “There’s a story about Prince Duan and General Wan. Back then, Prince Duan disguised himself as a scholar intending to infiltrate the village as a strategist, to bring down Wanjia Village from within. But just as he reached the foot of the mountain, the chief, then known as Wan Tian, captured him, intending to make him the village’s ‘pressured wife’. Prince Duan played along for a few months, and after the first attack on Wanjia Village, somehow, they fell in love. Emperor Gaozong’s orders were to annihilate Wanjia Village, but Prince Duan reported back, saying the chief was actually a woman named Wan Tian, who was carrying his child…”

The former bandit chief… Zhou Xun’s mouth twitched uncontrollably. He couldn’t help but think of the illustrated “Water Margin” and “The Stone Chronicle” he had as a child, now imagining Prince Duan and Wu Song embracing.

No, perhaps Chief Wan was like Lu Junyi or Hua Rong. Zhou Xun quickly stopped his disrespectful thoughts.

“…Eventually, Emperor Gaozong accepted it. But he couldn’t accept Prince Duan marrying a man, so he continued to pretend the consort was a female chief. Even after Wan became General Wan Chongming, Emperor Gaozong stubbornly called him ‘Wan Chongxue’ or ‘Wan Chongying’ in his heart…”

Zhou Xun: “…Aren’t you afraid of telling me this?”

“Sigh, Young Master Zhou, you are one of us!” Little Li smiled broadly, looking quite pleased with himself. “I love to gather all kinds of information. There isn’t a story in this palace that I don’t know!”

Zhou Xun: …As expected of you, Li Dong.

Seeing another figure approaching, Little Li quickly stepped back. Before leaving, he said to the emperor, “Your servant did not fail his mission!”

“Alright,” the emperor said. “You may go.”

Little Li left.

Little Li was indeed a gossip machine. He knew everyone’s stories in the palace and all the interesting tales in the capital. Perhaps the only thing he didn’t know was where his sister was now.

The emperor walked over to Zhou Xun, seemingly drunk. He looked at Zhou Xun, hands behind his back, with a slightly dazed expression. Zhou Xun noticed something hidden behind the emperor’s back, only to have a flower twig thrown at his head.

“Here, this is for you.” The emperor tossed a withered twig onto Zhou Xun, his eyes still a bit glazed. “Today, I saw those girls in the capital throwing flower branches at you guys…”

“But those were flower branches, not withered twigs.” Zhou Xun held the withered twig, laughing and crying at the same time. “Besides, the tradition in Da Jing is to throw heng grass at the ones you love… Your Majesty, are you drunk?”

“Oh, heng grass… heng grass…” The emperor turned around in place, picked up a pot of orchids from the side, and said, “Here you go…”

The pot of orchids was beautiful, with flower buds, but it was still in the pot.

A large pot.

A heavy pot.

“…Your Majesty, you’re really drunk. Are you trying to kill me?” Zhou Xun took the pot from his hands and put it down, helpless. “How much did you drink?”

The emperor: “Hehehe, hic.”

…He even started hiccuping. He was indeed drunk.

“Today is your big… big day!” The banquet had ended, and Zhou Xun was helping the emperor back to the Hall of Mental Cultivation. The emperor was still muttering, “Look at you, dressed in red, all in red… so beautiful!”

The Hall of Mental Cultivation was also decorated in red, filled with a festive atmosphere. The emperor said, “I told Little Li to decorate the Hall of Mental Cultivation as well, to match your joyous mood!”

There were two long candles burning in the Hall of Mental Cultivation, and everything was covered in celebratory red. Zhou Xun, with the help of several eunuchs, managed to get the emperor onto the bed. He then asked for tea to sober him up and a hot towel. Still wearing his red top scholar robes, Zhou Xun thought, amused and helpless, that he must be the most ridiculous top scholar in history, spending the night of his triumph in the Hall of Mental Cultivation, wiping the emperor’s face.

He used the hot towel to wipe the emperor’s face and coaxed him into drinking the sobering tea. The emperor sat on the edge of the bed, dazed. Zhou Xun put the cup down and said, “I’m leaving.”

After saying “I’m leaving,” he turned to go. But the emperor grabbed his hand, looked at him for a long time, and suddenly said, “First bow to heaven and earth—”

Zhou Xun was stunned.

“Second bow to the parents—”

He finally realized what this scene resembled. The red robes, the red room, the red candles, the red bedding… A wedding night, the top scholar’s moment, it wasn’t the emperor who was foolish, but himself, who had failed to notice anything.

“Husband and wife bow to each other—” The emperor bowed to an object and then tried to grab it. “Ah Xun, your hand is so cold… Have you gained weight?”

“That’s a fish-patterned porcelain vase you’re grabbing,” Zhou Xun said coldly.

…Alright, the foolish one was still the emperor, who kept bowing to the porcelain vase, not him.

He put the emperor back on the bed. The emperor rolled over and suddenly grabbed Zhou Xun’s hand again, saying, “Shall we give it a try?”

“Try what?”

“Try being together for a lifetime.” The emperor mumbled, the alcohol on his breath making Zhou Xun’s ears twitch. “Actually, I’ve been thinking, we’re both men…”

Zhou Xun was silent for a moment, then touched the emperor’s hand and said, “I know.”

“We’re both men, both so handsome, so many things in common. We’re meant to be together!” The emperor suddenly said forcefully, “It’s a match made in heaven!”

Zhou Xun: …

He should have known that this man would never say anything serious.

“So…” The emperor suddenly whispered, the scent of alcohol making Zhou Xun’s ears twitch again, “Shall we help each other out?”