After being moved to tears by the sworn enemy's pheromones - Chapter 59

In the cold wind, Gu Yu suddenly came to his senses, remembering why Shen Jin had just driven him out of the room.

Seeing that Shen Jin had no energy left to continue arguing, Gu Yu quickly grabbed him and led him back to rest, leaving the rest to Jiang Lan and Tao Yan.

In hindsight, he realized he shouldn’t have listened to those two, getting Shen Jin involved in something as trivial as Song Yizhi’s issues. After they returned to the room, Shen Jin still refused to look at him and even tried to push him out again.

But this time, Gu Yu refused to back down, leading to another standoff, with tensions rising as if they were about to fight.

Shen Jin clenched his fists, but his face was pale, and his punches were weak. Gu Yu easily grabbed his wrist, lifting him up and placing him back on the bed, his voice low and filled with concern: “After all these years… I’ve been going easy on you.”

A confused light flickered in Shen Jin’s eyes, as if he didn’t understand what Gu Yu was saying.

Gu Yu cupped his slightly cool cheeks, pulling him closer with one arm around his waist, seeking forgiveness as he whispered, “Senior, did you know? I haven’t been able to really fight you for a long time.”

That was the simplest pretense that Gu Yu had stubbornly maintained for years.

In reality, Shen Jin hadn’t been a match for him in a long time. When Shen Jin pinned him down and threw punches, his heart would race shamelessly. He found himself oddly drawn to the sight of Shen Jin furrowing his brows in anger, his ears turning red.

That was also the image he often saw in his dreams.

Shen Jin, covered in wounds, curled up on his favorite soft cushion, with a fever making his ears and breath alarmingly hot, just like when they fought.

It’s said that dreams are silent, yet Gu Yu could always hear Shen Jin’s faint cries for help, see himself walk over, crouch down, and gently touch the bell on Shen Jin’s neck with his long fingers, hearing its crisp, melodious ring.

These dreams, like a curse, haunted him throughout his adolescence.

But now, he could lower his head and give Shen Jin a real, tender kiss.

Shen Jin, as if it were their first kiss, was momentarily stunned, forgetting to struggle.

Alpha’s calm yet overwhelmingly dominant scent enveloped Shen Jin, making his throat warm and his vision blur.

“You…” Shen Jin’s Adam’s apple bobbed nervously, his face flushing with a mix of anger and embarrassment. “Are you saying that… you insulted me by holding back in our fights?”

“I didn’t mean to.” Gu Yu held Shen Jin close, running his fingers through his soft, clean hair at the nape of his neck. “I just… couldn’t bring myself to.”

Shen Jin’s breath quivered slightly. Seeing his defenses falter, Gu Yu lowered his head again, lifting Shen Jin’s soft lips, forcing him to share the warmth between them.

Since Shen Jin was already struggling to breathe, Gu Yu would kiss him for a few seconds, then pause, repeating the cycle—both giving Shen Jin a reprieve and tormenting him.

After a prolonged exchange of kisses, Shen Jin finally couldn’t hold on any longer, leaning against Gu Yu’s shoulder as he whispered weakly, “If you bully me again…”

His tone, once firm, was now filled with vulnerability and helplessness, the pain making him too weak to put up much of a fight against his alpha.

Gu Yu leaned in, his warm breath against Shen Jin’s ear, his heart pounding with a mix of pain and anticipation as he asked, “So, senior, does this mean you’ve liked me for a long time?”

The person in his arms froze, immediately pushing against Gu Yu’s shoulders in an attempt to break free.

Gu Yu allowed him to push, but didn’t loosen his embrace. Instead, he furrowed his brows and asked more persistently, “Please, just tell me, senior?”

“Why should I tell you anything?” Shen Jin bit his lip, now flushed from their kiss, his eyes suddenly filling with tears. “You don’t understand anything.”

With that, Shen Jin clenched his fists, trying to take a swing, but Gu Yu only looked down at him, his heart aching even more.

“You’re right, I don’t understand.” Gu Yu thought back to the moment he had to choose his major, feeling only the trembling fear and relief. “I’ve been a complete fool.”

With his grades, he could have avoided the Vehicle Engineering department at C University, choosing a similar engineering program at another university. His pride, dignity, and stubbornness wouldn’t allow him to bow to Shen Jin again, nor to see C University listed on his college application. But at the last moment, he casually clicked submit, telling himself that going to the same university as Shen Jin was just for revenge.

It wasn’t until now that he began to realize, from Shen Jin’s perspective, that all he ever brought him was pain.

He was the one who unintentionally caused Shen Jin to be wrongfully accused of cheating and to make a public apology during the flag-raising ceremony. He was the one who stubbornly refused to accept Shen Jin’s repeated apologies, leading to their fallout. He was the one who repeatedly missed Shen Jin’s most vulnerable moments. And he was the one who noticed Shen Jin’s shyness and frustration time and again, only to repeatedly avoid his own suspicions, convincing himself that Shen Jin simply disliked him, getting caught up in his own spiral.

The death of his father had left him stubbornly believing that his presence couldn’t bring happiness to anyone.

In those years when he couldn’t escape his own torment, Shen Jin must have often suffered because of him, cried because of him. Even during a minor collision on the basketball court, Shen Jin would assume the worst, thinking it was intentional.

But the next time they met, Shen Jin would still bounce back, chasing after him as if nothing had happened.

Throughout their middle school years, Gu Yu had always acted as if he disliked Shen Jin, to the point where Shen Jin was constantly chasing after him, stubbornly pretending it was just because he wanted to fight, never being able to think of another reason.

Shen Jin said he didn’t understand anything, and Gu Yu had no grounds to argue back.

“It’s my fault. I shouldn’t have bullied you for all these years,” Gu Yu said, holding tightly onto Shen Jin, who was struggling fiercely, not letting him escape his embrace again. “That box of chocolates… I wanted to give it to you a long time ago. Maybe it went bad because I kept it too long. I never meant to do something like that on purpose, and I certainly wouldn’t have deliberately let you eat expired food.”

With Shen Jin’s delicate stomach, he must have been in pain for a long time.

Gu Yu’s eyes turned slightly red with guilt. Shen Jin paused, his expression filled with confusion and grievance. “Then… why did you want to give me chocolates?”

Gu Yu gritted his teeth and answered, “Maybe because… giving flowers felt too obvious, and giving something else would have been too subtle.”

Shen Jin slightly parted his lips, staring at him as if he still didn’t have the courage to believe it: “What do you mean…? Gu Yu…”

But halfway through, Shen Jin swallowed his words, lowered his head, clenched his fists, and his eyelashes and lips trembled as if from a reflexive reaction.

Anxious, Gu Yu covered his cold hand with his own, finally unable to hold back the tenderness and honesty he had never shown in their youth.

Under the soft light, Gu Yu’s voice was hoarse as he asked, “Do you remember… those young delinquents you got into trouble with?”

*

That was probably the biggest trouble Shen Jin had ever caused during his entire middle school years. To avoid them, he didn’t come to school for several days, and if it continued, he was sure to get expelled.

But to the confused and aimless Shen Jin at the time, it didn’t seem like a big deal. If worst came to worst, he could leave school, become a street punk, learn a trade, and at least not starve to death.

F District’s No. 5 High School was a well-regarded city school, and everyone else saw Shen Jin as a delinquent. Only Gu Yu didn’t see him that way.

Gu Yu found those delinquents and bargained with them, saying, “If I can beat all of you by myself, you won’t bother Shen Jin again.”

That was a “street rule” Shen Jin had taught him when he had a conflict with Cheng Jie.

The young delinquents, although not as tall as him, looked at his school uniform and laughed so hard their shoulders shook.

Behind the dirty, cluttered black internet café, they confidently and mockingly accepted Gu Yu’s challenge, never expecting that Gu Yu would actually win.

It was the most reckless thing Gu Yu had done in his otherwise disciplined life.

He even prepped a text message for Tao Yan, ready to send it with just one more click—because he knew those young delinquents could pull out a knife and stab him at any moment.

He had researched it—just a two-centimeter blade was enough to kill someone.

But he couldn’t resist taking this gamble, because he couldn’t stand by and watch Shen Jin fall deeper, giving up on his life without doing anything.

Many times, only the kids who actually drop out of school know that it’s a path they choose only after enduring countless pains, when they have no other option.

All Gu Yu wanted to give Shen Jin was a chance to choose.

Fortunately, the young delinquents had some sense of honor. Shen Jin returned to school safely, and aside from some external injuries, Gu Yu was fine too.

But when Gu Yu heard that Shen Jin had been skipping school to “hang out with his girlfriend,” he felt a sour jealousy. Impulsively, he exposed Shen Jin’s lie about having a girlfriend, causing Shen Jin to confront him angrily, and the two ended up fighting again.

Back then, both of them were too stubborn to back down. Gu Yu said many hurtful, sarcastic things, stubbornly refusing to admit how much pain his injuries caused him.

He had desperately hoped Shen Jin would show some concern and ask him what had happened. But all he did was shake off Shen Jin, turn around, and limp away, as if by acting cold enough, he could prove that he didn’t care about Shen Jin.

Yet, as he turned away, holding back unfamiliar, scalding tears, he still felt foolish.

Or rather, for six years, he had been doing the same foolish thing.

Only now, Gu Yu briefly explained the incident in a few sentences, saying, “I just wanted you to be safe… because I knew you didn’t really want to give up on your studies.”

He didn’t mention how he had won the fight, but Shen Jin stared at him, immediately grabbing his arm in a panic, trying to check his body for injuries.

“You actually dared to go find them—” Shen Jin’s long-restrained tears suddenly welled up uncontrollably. He lowered his head, gripping Gu Yu’s arm tightly, where it was covered in scratches from Du Jun. His breath began to shake, and even his curses lost their edge. “Are you out of your mind? How dare you lecture me… Those delinquents really could’ve killed you—”

Gu Yu remained silent, gently wiping away Shen Jin’s tears, letting him fuss over his sleeves and collar, as if searching for those old, long-healed wounds from their youth.