After being moved to tears by the sworn enemy's pheromones - Chapter 61

Between sobs, Shen Jin couldn’t think too much. He just listened to Gu Yu’s denials while frantically wiping away his tears, unable to speak due to the lump in his throat.

Gu Yu, both concerned and anxious, asked, “Is Senior talking about June 8th…?”

“But back then… didn’t you not come?”

He was just trying to figure things out, but Shen Jin suddenly looked up in confusion, not knowing if Gu Yu was blaming him.

The cold light outside the window streamed in, and Shen Jin stared blankly at Gu Yu, his throat hoarse, unable to defend himself.

He didn’t know why Gu Yu was saying such things. In that moment, the dark, cold, rainy night, the stifling smell of the hospital corridor, and his great-grandfather’s withered hand all turned into shards that cut deep, surging through his mind. An icy chill pierced through his limbs and flooded his chest, leaving him too exhausted to feel any emotion.

Under the light, Gu Yu also froze slightly, suddenly realizing that something was wrong with the person in his arms.

One second, Shen Jin was still clutching his clothes, coughing as if trying to speak. The next second, he seemed to lose all strength, suddenly collapsing into Gu Yu’s arms.

Seeing Shen Jin’s pale face, Gu Yu was frightened out of his wits.

“…Shen Jin?!” He grabbed Shen Jin, feeling the cold touch of his hand. It wasn’t until Shen Jin weakly muttered, “Why are you still wronging me?” that Gu Yu fully realized how exhausted Shen Jin must be that night.

The night was sinking into the dim light of the winter sunrise, and Gu Yu awkwardly supported Shen Jin’s cold neck, feeling as if he had frozen over.

He could faintly hear Shen Jin’s weak breathing and his own heart pounding in his chest, just as it had many years ago when his Mumba had passed away.

*

In those brief dozen seconds, Gu Yu’s hands trembled, desperate to warm Shen Jin’s cold neck.

It felt so fragile, as if it could snap with just a squeeze, with only the faint pulse of a vein weakly beating in Gu Yu’s warm palm.

Gu Yu was filled with despair and guilt. He couldn’t even remember how many times he had unintentionally hurt Shen Jin.

His so-called care and protection seemed to be nothing but a joke. He even thought of his parents’ fate and felt a momentary urge to give up.

That thought, which he had suppressed countless times, resurfaced: If he left, would Shen Jin meet someone better, someone gentler?

Without realizing it, he loosened his grip slightly. But Shen Jin trusted him so much, not making any effort to hold on. If Gu Yu let go, Shen Jin would lose his balance and fall straight from his arms.

That half-second of weightlessness jolted Gu Yu back to his senses. He immediately tightened his arms around Shen Jin, refusing to let him slip away again.

He couldn’t let go.

It seemed like this was the first time Gu Yu had so clearly heard his own heart say: No matter what happens, he can never let go again.

In the past, no matter how much he liked Shen Jin, he never had such a thought.

He had always thought about Shen Jin’s future, about how Shen Jin could separate from him, choose someone better, and perhaps pick a lucky day to tell him it was over. He would never stop Shen Jin from pursuing a happier life.

But now, he overturned all those foolish conclusions. What he wanted was to be a constant presence in Shen Jin’s happy and beautiful future, never disappearing, never giving up, no matter how much Shen Jin tried to push him away.

More than that, he wanted to become the reason Shen Jin felt happy.

They had a long, long life ahead of them, and no youthful hesitation, impulse, or misunderstanding should change that outcome.

So he slowed his breathing, gently rubbing Shen Jin’s cold hands to warm them.

Only by calming down could he properly comfort Shen Jin.

He said, “I never meant to wrong you… I believe you came that day, and I hope you believe me too, okay? I just want to figure out what happened.”

For the first time, his tenderness was so obvious that Shen Jin, overwhelmed with grievance, finally managed to ask through his tears, “…Really, really?”

“Really.” Gu Yu carefully adjusted his embrace to make Shen Jin more comfortable, tenderly wiping the tears from his face again and again, saying, “I think… was there some misunderstanding between us?”

“Maybe that day… we were both there, but I just couldn’t find you?”

He didn’t know if Shen Jin could even hear him. All he knew was that Shen Jin’s sobs hadn’t stopped, and he couldn’t speak for the moment.

The intermittent sobs tightened Gu Yu’s heart. He gently patted Shen Jin’s trembling back, continuing to explain and comfort him: “The west gate of the school… I remember it was quite big.”

The gate couldn’t be so large that they wouldn’t have seen each other, but under Gu Yu’s gentle voice, Shen Jin’s emotions gradually calmed down, no longer as upset and unable to express himself as before.

Perhaps all Shen Jin had ever wanted over the years was this warmth that he could glimpse now.

Shen Jin looked up at him briefly before obediently wiping his own tears.

“But no matter how big the west gate is, I could have seen you…” Shen Jin said, rubbing his eyes as if he was about to cry again, “I’ve always had 5.2 vision—”

Gu Yu knew Shen Jin was exhausted, but they couldn’t help but repeatedly bring up that rainy night years ago. They didn’t reach any conclusions, but Gu Yu’s guilt only grew, unable to figure out what had really happened.

“Gu Yu… you really weren’t messing with me on purpose?” Shen Jin asked again, still uncertain. Gu Yu nodded, lovingly caressing Shen Jin’s pale cheek, a lump in his throat. “Senior… let’s not think about it anymore, okay? It’s my fault, let’s just pretend I never came. You should rest for a bit, I’m worried—”

But Shen Jin gritted his teeth and shook his head, saying, “It’s not your fault… I believe you definitely came to find me… so maybe, maybe you just got the time wrong?”

Despite his grievances, Shen Jin gave Gu Yu his full trust. But their appointment had been for the evening of June 8th—a date no high school student would forget, even if Gu Yu hadn’t taken the college entrance exam that year.

“That day, wasn’t it raining?” Gu Yu’s throat tightened as he recalled more details. “I just remember it rained heavily, and there was constant thunder… the owner of the barbecue shop across the street even came down from his place to ask if I was okay, if I needed an umbrella—he thought I was a student and asked if I messed up my test and was thinking something drastic. But I couldn’t think about any of that at the time, so I just told him not to worry.”

Gu Yu paused, smiling as if mocking himself. “…Looking back, I must’ve been a really annoying kid.”

The entire month of June, only the 8th had such a thunderstorm. The sophomore students at the time were all lamenting in group chats, saying it was an omen of their impending miserable senior year. No one would have forgotten such a day.

Gu Yu lowered his head, unsure if he should say this.

Perhaps he should just admit that he had misremembered the meeting as being on the 7th or 9th, to quickly settle the misunderstanding and comfort Shen Jin, urging him to get some rest. But the person before him stood in a daze, digesting his answer for a moment, and then suddenly said, “I—I understand now. It must have been me who arrived late, causing… causing you to wait for me in vain.”

A look of sudden realization appeared on Shen Jin’s pale face, and he seemed to have quickly composed himself, confidently concluding, “It looks like this was all just a misunderstanding—”

Gu Yu hesitated slightly and said, “But it feels like I waited for a long time… Senior, when did you arrive?”

He had the sense that the problem wasn’t quite so simple.

“Who knows…” Shen Jin stubbornly forced himself to gather some strength, wiped his eyes, and answered rather confidently, “I finished exams on the 8th and had dinner with classmates. I probably… probably had a few too many drinks and didn’t think of meeting up until late at night. I thought it was still early.”

As he spoke, Shen Jin added, “It’s summer… nightlife is lively. Who keeps track of the time?”

Gu Yu was confused. He didn’t understand why Shen Jin had suddenly perked up so much. Shen Jin even fumbled through his pockets, pulling out his phone, saying, “Besides, I happen to know the owner you mentioned, and I still have his WeChat… How about we contact him to confirm?”

Back then, the school was semi-closed off, and students weren’t allowed to leave campus for lunch. But the “troublemakers” always found ways around it. They would copy leave slips, forge signatures from various homeroom teachers, and swap IDs with each other, doing whatever it took to sneak out for meals or to buy milk tea. They were quite familiar with the shop owners nearby.

Naturally, Shen Jin was one of those “troublemakers.”

Gu Yu’s mind was in a muddle. He couldn’t spot any flaws in Shen Jin’s words, so he nodded.

He watched as Shen Jin opened his contacts list, and sure enough, there was an entry labeled “BBQ Order – Near School No. 5.”

“I wonder if he’s awake…” Shen Jin sent a message: “Brother Yang, are you there?”

Unexpectedly, the reply came quickly: “Here. You wanna place an order? We’re not open yet, we start at 10, but you can send me what you want to eat now.”

It was clear that this Yang had forgotten Shen Jin’s WeChat ID. After thinking for a moment, Shen Jin typed another message: “Sorry to bother you, Brother Yang. I’m a former student from School No. 5, not here to order food—just want to ask you something.”

The recipient, clearly annoyed by the previous pointless “Are you there?” message, responded bluntly: “…? Spit it out, dude, it’s early in the morning. I was just about to catch some sleep.”

“…” Gu Yu grew anxious. “I remember him being a nice guy—”

Shen Jin, curled up in front of him, chuckled softly, “Don’t worry… Do you really think I’m always the timid one?”

But Shen Jin’s tone was too relaxed compared to earlier, causing Gu Yu to frown even more, feeling a rising sense of doubt.

He watched as Shen Jin tightened his grip on his phone, typing rapidly and persistently asking the shop owner if he remembered anyone from back then, particularly confirming whether it was on the night of June 8th.

Surprisingly, the shop owner did remember, replying quickly: “That kid standing in the rain like an idiot? Yeah, I saw him. Definitely the 8th—wasn’t that the day after the exams? I even thought he was having a breakdown, but he gave me a look that said ‘leave me alone.’”

The owner even added an eye-roll emoji for effect. Shen Jin hurriedly handed the phone to Gu Yu and said, “See, I told you that was the case.”

Gu Yu swallowed, feeling the heat from the phone still carrying Shen Jin’s hand’s warmth, almost burning his chest.

He was on the verge of believing what he saw with his own eyes, but a strong intuition told him to hold onto Shen Jin’s hand and refuse to acknowledge this so-called “truth.”

He softly called out, “Senior,” and said, “There are many things I can’t forgive myself for, so… you can’t lie to me anymore. You especially can’t take away my chance to make up for it, okay?”

He spoke with sincerity, causing Shen Jin to blink in confusion, his Adam’s apple bobbing as he swallowed.

In just five or six seconds, it felt like they had relived the painful five or six years of their separation.

Sunlight streamed through the window, and finally, Shen Jin lowered his gaze and admitted, “I was deceiving you again just now.”

“But really… really, it wasn’t your fault. I can tell you the truth, but you have to promise me… not to blame yourself for this misunderstanding.”

Gu Yu pressed his dry lips together and answered with absolute certainty.

His hands felt hot, thinking that the truth could be something as outlandish as aliens crashing into the front gate of the school. But Shen Jin gave him a simple, yet unbelievable answer: “You just… mistook the meeting place.”

This explanation was more shocking than aliens. Gu Yu froze, hearing Shen Jin’s voice grow so faint it was almost inaudible: “Brother Yang’s BBQ shop… is by the school’s south gate.”

But Shen Jin had arranged to meet him at the west gate.

Gu Yu opened his mouth, struggling to comprehend Shen Jin’s words: “…How could that be?”

C City was a southern city that didn’t really use cardinal directions like north, south, east, and west in daily life. The terms were mostly just used for naming places, but Gu Yu was sure that shop was called “West Gate BBQ.”

He didn’t frequent the area much, but he knew enough about the shops around the school, and there were plenty of shopkeepers who lazily named their businesses after directions.

For example, there was always a stationery store by the east gate called East Gate Stationery. But now, Shen Jin was telling him that West Gate BBQ wasn’t by the west gate?

He couldn’t quite process it, while Shen Jin, straining to comfort him, weakly reached out and hugged him, trembling as he said, “It’s okay, Gu Yu. It was just a misunderstanding. As long as we know that we like each other, isn’t that enough?”

Shen Jin clearly knew that once Gu Yu found out the truth, he would hold it against himself. And indeed, at this moment, Gu Yu couldn’t come to terms with it. He couldn’t accept Shen Jin’s embrace with a clear conscience.

The sunlight was blinding, and Gu Yu’s thoughts were a tangled mess. He gently pushed Shen Jin away, barely aware of what he was saying: “He opened his shop by the south gate… so why name it that?”

Shen Jin, struggling to stay upright, lightly patted his head and answered, “Maybe… his sense of direction is bad, and after the sign was made, he just went along with it. Or maybe he’s just a fan of *The Water Margin* and West Gate Celebrations? Brother Yang’s always been a bit unconventional—”

Gu Yu could sense that Shen Jin was trying hard to make him laugh, but his eyes were stinging, unsure if he should hug Shen Jin or laugh at himself.

It wasn’t until Shen Jin’s uncontrollable coughing pierced through his ears again that Gu Yu remembered what had caused all of Shen Jin’s lingering health problems in the first place.

It seemed like it had all been a minor misunderstanding, one that he could’ve easily cleared up in a day or two, or even resolved before it started raining by simply calling Shen Jin to ask where he was.

He could have rushed to Shen Jin in his second year of high school, listened to Shen Jin laugh at how he’d gone to the wrong place, and seen Shen Jin blush as he walked up to say what he had been wanting to say. Of course, he could have also held Shen Jin’s hand and told him early on that they would continue to meet again and again in the future.

The young Shen Jin would have been surprised, shy, and delighted. That summer would have been filled with their happiest memories.

There were so many things he could have done.

But in reality, he had just missed Shen Jin, nearly leading to an irreparable outcome.

Perhaps the real mistake was never that he had confused the location of the shop, but that he had always refused to say out loud the things he couldn’t let go of—the pride and hesitation that held him back.