After being moved to tears by the sworn enemy's pheromones - Chapter 75

A flood of memories from past New Year’s Eves filled his mind. To say he wasn’t afraid of being lonely would be a lie, but what frustrated Shen Jin more was his own carelessness. He had forgotten that he was supposed to be the older one.

When he was the big brother, he took good care of his three younger siblings. So why did he neglect Gu Yu, treating his efforts as if they were something to be taken for granted?

Shen Jin was born a year earlier than Gu Yu, but when it came to life experience, he was at least ten years ahead. He should have realized earlier that a 19-year-old boy would naturally start to miss home.

“Damn it.” Shen Jin subconsciously patted his pockets but realized he hadn’t brought cigarettes, and he couldn’t smoke here anyway.

He knew better than anyone that whether his illness was treated or not, it wouldn’t affect his daily life too much. And with the winter holiday falling during festival time, the pay for temporary jobs was much higher than during the summer. He should have taken this chance to find some work instead of listening to Gu Yu’s instructions to avoid the cold and stay inside the apartment.

Last year at this time, he had worked part-time at a nearby logistics center, and he hadn’t died from the cold then.

Suppressing the brief wave of disappointment, Shen Jin lowered his gaze to the flower carefully held in Gu Yu’s hand, then looked at his own arm. He felt so guilty that he had the impulse to pull out the IV needle.

“What are you doing?” A nurse walked over, noticing his strange behavior. “Why are you gripping the drip like that? Is it too cold?”

Shen Jin reluctantly let go of the tube, then couldn’t help but ask, “Nurse, do I really need to be treated for this illness?”

The nurse stopped in her tracks. “Kid, don’t tell me you Googled your symptoms and found that you don’t need treatment.”

“…I didn’t,” Shen Jin clicked his tongue. “It’s just a cough. Once the weather warms up, maybe it’ll gradually go away.”

“Whether it’s just a cough or something more, don’t you think the patient himself would know better than us medical staff?” The nurse glanced at Gu Yu, who was sleeping beside Shen Jin, then lowered her voice mysteriously. “But if you’re really short on money, how about helping my girlfriend complete a state-level gaming challenge? I’ll pay you.”

Shen Jin laughed. “Thanks, but I’m in contact with a professional esports team, so I can’t be a substitute. It’s like how you professionals can’t just hand out prescriptions for money, right?”

The nurse complained for the umpteenth time about how her girlfriend couldn’t win the challenge, and Shen Jin suggested they could play together. The nurse shook her head. “Isn’t the doctor-patient relationship tense enough already? I’m afraid you’ll end up bringing a knife to meet me tomorrow after getting scammed.”

They continued to chat about games, and before long, Shen Jin had finished his IV. After returning to the apartment and taking a shower, instead of acting like the usual clingy omega who would demand kisses and cuddles from Gu Yu the moment they were alone, Shen Jin found his pajamas and, in a big-brotherly way, said, “You should take a shower too. I’ll get an extra blanket so we can sleep separately.”

He had been too childish and clingy before, always acting like being away from Gu Yu would make him sad enough to cry. A boy as responsible as Gu Yu probably didn’t even know how to tell him he missed home, afraid it would upset him.

Still thinking of excuses, Shen Jin continued tidying up the bed, all the while thinking, *Gu Yu really loves me too much.*

Gu Yu, meanwhile, stood by the bed holding his pajamas, reluctant to move. “…Why do we suddenly have to sleep with separate blankets?”

Even Gu Yu himself didn’t realize his lips had puckered into a small pout. Shen Jin, feeling guilty, didn’t look up and thus missed the change in Gu Yu’s expression. He only mumbled an excuse: “The weather’s unpredictable. Two people under one blanket might catch a cold. Better to be cautious.”

Gu Yu considered it but didn’t argue. He gently kissed the side of Shen Jin’s face and then went to the bathroom. What he didn’t expect was that by the time he finished his shower, Shen Jin had already wrapped himself in his blanket and closed his eyes, not waiting for him as usual.

Normally, his needy little bunny would have been trembling with anticipation, eager to ask for affection.

Gu Yu sat down and touched Shen Jin’s forehead, worried he might not be feeling well. But Shen Jin’s little hand pushed him away, turning his body to the other side. “Go to sleep.”

His voice was firm, not at all like someone who was ill.

Gu Yu, relieved, lay down, but no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t figure out what was going on. *Did he get too tired from running around doing part-time jobs with me today?*

Propping his head up, Gu Yu gazed at Shen Jin’s back, feeling a little aggrieved but kept silent in the end. He gently squeezed the nape of Shen Jin’s delicate neck and gave him a light hug from behind, murmuring, “Goodnight.”

The next morning, Shen Jin didn’t burrow into Gu Yu’s arms as usual, making a fuss and refusing to get up. Gu Yu dressed, still unused to the change, and after fiddling with the fresh rose in the water bottle for a while, left the apartment, still confused.

But in fact, Shen Jin had woken up long before.

He had endured the urge to snuggle up to Gu Yu and whine about his discomfort. Only after hearing the door close did he sneakily curl into Gu Yu’s side of the bed, feeling an overwhelming sense of loss.

He hadn’t expected it himself — just one night without sleeping in Gu Yu’s arms, and it felt like it was killing him.

Snuggling into Gu Yu’s blanket, he thought, the last time I felt like this must’ve been when I was weaned.

The faint scent of strawberries enveloped him as he pulled out his phone and, on a whim, booked a train ticket for 6 PM on New Year’s Eve to return to F District. Thankfully, tickets for city routes were easy to get, especially during off-peak hours. Soon enough, he received a text from the railway company confirming the purchase.

Gu Yu’s family lived in the most luxurious villa neighborhood on Mingyue Avenue, next to a block of temporary housing. Shen Jin’s former buddies lived there — from the hallway of those buildings, he could see Gu Yu’s bedroom from a distance.

Since he couldn’t spend New Year’s together with Gu Yu, watching him from afar would be the next best thing.

That thought made him feel a lot better, and his mood brightened.

But later that afternoon, when Qin Zhu and Xu Tingyun invited him to play games to test a new lineup, they immediately noticed something different about him. Qin Zhu teased, “What’s up, jungler? Don’t tell me something’s missing, and you can control it remotely with an app?”

“…You’re full of crap,” Shen Jin scoffed as he secured the blue buff. “I’m thinking about something serious.”

Qin Zhu and Xu Tingyun exchanged knowing glances. Whenever Shen Jin mentioned something “serious,” it usually involved Gu Yu.

After some pressing, they managed to get the gist of the situation. Qin Zhu, always blunt, said, “So, Gu Yu said he’d spend New Year’s with you, but now he’s agreed to go home and doesn’t know how to tell you, and you think it’s because he loves you so much he can’t bear to hurt you?”

Shen Jin hummed in agreement, prompting Qin Zhu to laugh. “Your love-addled brain is like boiled brain flowers — smells so bad it makes you lose your appetite.”

Shen Jin wasn’t fazed. “Say whatever you want, as long as you don’t insult him.”

“Well, of course, he misses home. And after all, he did help me pull that rare event skin last week. I almost knelt down and called him ‘Dad,’ so there’s no way I’d badmouth him,” Qin Zhu clicked his tongue thoughtfully. “But…what’s your plan for New Year’s?”

“Same as last year, probably just play some games,” Shen Jin licked his lips before adding, “I’ve always hated the holiday anyway. Better to rank up.”

Xu Tingyun winced, not believing him. “Just play games? You should probably get a waterproof keyboard first — I’m worried you’ll cry so hard you’ll short-circuit it.”

Knowing that Shen Jin hated troubling others, Xu Tingyun interrupted his attempt to protest. “I’ll come over on the first day of the new year and play with you for a few days. I live nearby anyway, and my family’s going to visit relatives in the countryside. I’m sure no one will mind if I skip it.”

Shen Jin stubbornly declined their offers, and in the end, Qin Zhu had no choice but to give up. He said, “Alright, son, I’ll recommend a playlist for you to listen to over the next few days, and we’ll play online together on New Year’s Eve.”

“Playlist?” Shen Jin was immediately on alert. “You’re not trying to hit me with some heartbreak songs playlist, right?”

He already had a tendency to cry easily. If he had to endure missing Gu Yu while listening to sad songs, he might actually end up crying nonstop. But Qin Zhu, to his credit, was thoughtful this time and sent over a link. “Re-com-mended for collection.”

Shen Jin clicked on it, only to see a playlist full of the favorites of middle-aged aunties and uncles—songs frequently used in dance classes and short video apps. From *The Drunken Butterfly* to *Husband, Where Are You?*, it had everything.

“…” Shen Jin went silent for a few seconds. “Where the hell did you find these?”

Qin Zhu replied matter-of-factly, “Back when He Senzhou deleted me off his friends list, told me not to bother him, and started duo-queuing with someone else, I used to listen to this to fall asleep. It’s why I never felt truly heartbroken in the middle of the night.”

Shen Jin gave the playlist a serious look—yeah, it was impossible to feel sad listening to this.

“… Alright,” Shen Jin opened his music app and hit save. “Thanks, good son.”

“I’m envious that you guys are still dealing with the pains of love,” Xu Tingyun sighed, then turned to Qin Zhu. “By the way, how are things going with Sen Zhou? Still not agreed to anything?”

“Agree to what?” Qin Zhu pretended not to understand. “He likes omegas. What does that have to do with me, a beta? If one day he really finds an omega with a 100% match, I’ll be out of the picture.”

Qin Zhu was always straightforward and firm. Neither of them dared to pry further or give advice. Xu Tingyun deflected with a joke, “We’re all sons in this group, but how did you two end up on such different extremes?”

Qin Zhu retorted with a curse, while Shen Jin, on the other hand, was busy scrolling through his phone, unusually quiet.

In his WeChat chat history, his last conversation with Gu Yu was from over ten hours ago.

Behind the protective shield of a screen, Shen Jin often sent Gu Yu a lot of affectionate stickers—kisses and hugs—saying things like “I miss my little strawberry” or “Has my little strawberry missed me?” He wished he could turn all the sarcastic words he had ever said to Gu Yu into sweet, clingy messages. But thinking about it now, maybe he had been a bit too needy.

Today, he hadn’t said much, and Gu Yu, who was likely busy, hadn’t sent any messages either.

The quietness of the chat made Shen Jin zone out for a bit, until Xu Tingyun interrupted his thoughts: “What are you thinking? Don’t bring Ignite, switch to Smite.”

Shen Jin snapped back to reality, hurriedly changing his summoner spell. Qin Zhu noticed and asked knowingly, “Something bothering you again about our precious junior?”

As the game loading screen began, Shen Jin wanted to act cool and keep things bottled up, but barely thirty seconds passed before he blurted out, “It’s nothing really, just that Gu Yu hasn’t texted me all day…”

Maybe venting to his friends wasn’t such a bad idea.

“Don’t worry, nothing serious must have happened,” Qin Zhu offered some “comfort” that was perhaps too reassuring. “At most, he probably exchanged WeChats with a few omegas and is just chatting with them. Not a big deal. You’ll get the news when the kid is born.”

Xu Tingyun, sensing the playful mood, added jokingly, “Do you need some public shaming on his Moments? I don’t charge much, 10 bucks a word.”

“… Damn.” Shen Jin knew he shouldn’t have trusted these two idiots. He spammed the question mark ping in the game. “Cut the crap. He’s busy with work. Maybe he has more orders than usual and hasn’t had time to message me. When he gets back, I’m going to show off my massage skills.”

He believed that his back-massaging skills had improved a lot, though Gu Yu always firmly refused, saying Shen Jin’s strength was like a weak bunny pawing at him. Qin Zhu sneered at this, “Ungrateful son won’t even give me blue buff, but you’re so nice to your precious alpha? Massages and back rubs, really?”

He didn’t know that Shen Jin had already set his sights on Qin Zhu’s mid-lane minions. “What can I say, I just can’t live without my man. Go ahead and sue me, huh?”

Their banter echoed through the voice chat, and Shen Jin’s mood visibly improved. As evening approached, he logged off hurriedly, saying, “I’m off to eat and get my IV drip.”

Both of his friends urged him to go quickly, and after a while, Xu Tingyun broke the silence in the voice chat, “Why’d you provoke him just now? With his pig-brain, he can laugh it off now, but later when he’s alone, he’ll start overthinking and really believe the junior doesn’t care about him anymore.”

They both knew that, despite Shen Jin’s nonchalant attitude, the fact that Gu Yu was going home for the New Year was a bigger deal to Shen Jin than he let on. But Qin Zhu answered, “Don’t you think our son is too nice?”

Before Xu Tingyun could respond, Qin Zhu continued, “This isn’t just homesickness. It’s going back on his word. If He Senzhou pulled something like that while dating me, I’d slap him first and ask for an explanation later. But Shen Jin? He’s all soft and won’t even get mad or ask a question.”

“… Damn, even someone like you has juniors chasing after you while I’m still single. Is my bed in a bad feng shui spot?” Xu Tingyun sighed dramatically. “So… you want Shen Jin to ask Gu Yu about this?”

“Of course. He should’ve brought it up already,” Qin Zhu replied. “I’m sick of people in relationships being too afraid to speak up. This time, Shen Jin has to take the initiative.”

While what he said made sense, Xu Tingyun still worried, “But if he does ask, won’t it lead to a fight or a cold war, maybe even a breakup?”

“Absolutely not,” Qin Zhu paused for a few seconds, then asked, “Do you really think that junior would treat Shen Jin that way?”

Although they hadn’t known Gu Yu for long, they both felt confident in their answer. Qin Zhu clicked his tongue and said, “It’s probably just a misunderstanding. Shen Jin needs to stop acting tough and learn to share his sadness and grievances with his junior. That’s the only way to solve problems.”

Life was long, and since Shen Jin had found someone worth opening up to, he shouldn’t keep bottling things up like he used to.

He didn’t grow up in a warm, nurturing family, so his friends and partner didn’t know how much love it would take to just barely compensate for the lack of love he experienced—how much it would take to heal that deep and gaping wound.

“… I wish his lousy parents would just drop dead,” Qin Zhu muttered. “Last New Year’s Eve, I asked him what he was doing since he wasn’t grabbing red envelopes, and he actually sounded pretty happy when he said, ‘the empty-nester elder is leveling up in the dorm room.’ I thought I was hallucinating from losing too many games.”

Back then, they hadn’t fully understood Shen Jin’s family situation.

They just knew that in the winter, Shen Jin often coughed so badly he couldn’t sleep but still didn’t get treatment—sometimes his spending habits were normal, but other times, he’d only have soup and rice in the cafeteria. Yet somehow, his family’s financial status didn’t match any criteria for assistance. This contradiction once led Qin Zhu and Xu Tingyun to believe that Shen Jin was probably blowing all his living expenses on tipping streamers with six-pack abs or something.

“This year, his junior will be with him,” Xu Tingyun replied after a pause, “But even if the junior really has to leave, it’s not the end of the world. I can go back to the university town and hang out with Shen Jin for a few days. That way, it won’t be awkward for the junior, and maybe you can skip asking him to draw that rare purple skin.”

“?” Just a moment ago, Qin Zhu had been all about brotherly love, but now he quickly rejected that idea. “Don’t talk nonsense. Compared to the purple skin, what does Shen Jin even matter? Even if they divorce and are splitting dumplings by the cent, I’ll still be asking Gu Yu for that rare skin.”

Xu Tingyun nearly choked. After blessing Qin Zhu with a “hope you choke on your dinner later,” he left to help his grandma cook. Qin Zhu chuckled, pinned the dorm group chat, and left his computer.

*

When the needle pierced Shen Jin’s hand, he finally received a message from Gu Yu.

Gu Yu asked: [Did you go to the clinic?]

Shen Jin was overjoyed and quickly replied: [Just got here. Today the clinic’s fruit isn’t mandarin oranges for once—it’s my second favorite after strawberries: giant strawberries.]

He twisted around to

 take a picture and sent it. However, Gu Yu still seemed busy, as two hours passed with no reply.

[Busy with a lot of orders today?] Shen Jin couldn’t resist interrupting: [You must be tired, right? When you get back, your senior will give you a massage. I promise this time it won’t feel like a bunny pawing at you, but more like a shy Tyson flirting with you.]

By the time the IV drip finished, Gu Yu still hadn’t replied.

Shen Jin thought for a moment and sent another message, saying he felt much better and was about to head back.

Guessing that his heat might be coming soon, he also bought two more doses of inhibitors just in case.

But instead of heading straight back, Shen Jin clenched his fist, turned, and headed toward the flower shop near the art university across the street.

Since he accidentally found out that Gu Yu liked flowers, he decided he’d start bringing them more often—seeing flowers would make Gu Yu happy, and that was better than Shen Jin constantly clinging to him and becoming a burden.

Luckily, he arrived just as the shop owner was about to close. Panting, Shen Jin pointed at a bouquet of beautiful roses at the entrance and finally bought the flowers Gu Yu liked, heading back home.

The owner mentioned that the shop wouldn’t reopen until after the New Year, so Shen Jin only had to pay 60% of the price for the roses. Holding the bouquet, he walked briskly through the gentle winter breeze, feeling lighter and happier with every step.