After being moved to tears by the sworn enemy's pheromones - Chapter 79

Gu Yu’s implied meaning was to ask Shen Jin’s deceased omega father during their visit to F District for a memorial service. This made Shen Jin feel a wave of panic, as if he was about to meet his boyfriend’s parents. 

Seeing through him, Gu Yu asked softly, “What’s this? Even senior gets nervous about this sort of thing?”

“Nervous? Me?” Shen Jin responded with a forced laugh. “I’m gentle, pretty, well-behaved, sensible, and strictly follow the omega virtues. Any parent would find me impeccable. What’s there to be nervous about?”

“Didn’t realize ‘gentle, pretty, well-behaved, and sensible’ meant acting spoiled, swearing, and hitting your boyfriend,” Gu Yu said bluntly, not sparing his feelings. “I think the dictionary needs an update.”

Shen Jin wanted to bite Gu Yu on the shoulder but, for the sake of breakfast, he swallowed his pride and obediently slumped over the table, waiting for Gu Yu to bring over food.

He watched Gu Yu’s figure in the morning light and couldn’t help but sigh, “I, the top champion of C University’s wild players, won’t end up being pampered into a delicate omega who can’t fend for himself, will I?”

“Ha, stop pretending,” Gu Yu placed the plate down and said, “Senior goes downstairs to throw out the trash and still has to make a detour to the barbecue shop for a quick visit. Even the monkeys on Mount Emei aren’t as lively as you. Don’t think I haven’t noticed.”

“Damn.” Shen Jin felt things had taken a bad turn. “Did they sell me out?”

Previously, Gu Yu had told him to stay away from the “unhealthy” barbecue food for a while. Shen Jin thought he’d pulled it off seamlessly, but it turned out Gu Yu had just been turning a blind eye. Now, Gu Yu was looking at him like he was an idiot. “The brothers at the barbecue shop sold you out for some amethyst. But it’s fine to eat it occasionally. Once you’re better, I’ll take you there. You can eat as much as you want.”

Shen Jin, now a shrinking ball of guilt, said while eating, “I know I was wrong…”

“I already said it’s fine,” Gu Yu smiled. “At least you didn’t down two bottles of baijiu like before, so that’s something.”

An invisible pressure followed. Shen Jin drooped his ears, promising never to do it again as he struggled through the meal. Finally, the two of them set out on their journey to F District.

*

F District in C City was as lively and developed as ever, still the most bustling area around. Shen Jin tightly gripped the thing he had hidden in his pocket, looking out the car window as they passed streets near his home, but he didn’t ask the driver to slow down.

It had only been a little over a year since he’d been back, yet it seemed like two new shopping centers had sprung up. The joy of the approaching New Year filled every street, and perhaps the only place still quiet was the public cemetery in the east of the city.

Gu Yu suggested they could just buy a couple of simple items from nearby stores, but Shen Jin insisted on picking out purple flowers. 

Gu Yu, slightly surprised, asked curiously, “How did you know he liked purple?”

“Oh, I guessed,” Shen Jin replied with his head down. “When I was organizing your closet before, I found a pair of purple knitted gloves. It was the only bright-colored thing among your clothes.”

The gloves had crooked stitches and were too small, but Gu Yu had stored them in a box separately, clearly something not bought from a store.

Gu Yu looked at the back of Shen Jin’s head as he earnestly searched through things, unable to resist reaching out and squeezing his wrist. “How does Senior know everything?”

“Duh, I’ve read a year more of the classics than you,” Shen Jin said as he picked up the wrapped flowers, holding Gu Yu’s hand with the other. “Let’s go.”

The familiar scent of wintersweet filled the air on both sides of the road in F District. As noon approached, the warm sunlight felt intoxicating. Gu Yu held Shen Jin’s hand tightly, and for some reason, started talking about his omega father, a subject he rarely discussed with others.

“He really liked purple… His middle school emblem, the first bouquet my dad gave him, and my lucky color were all purple.”

“When I was little, he used to buy me clothes in that color. I didn’t like it much. If it weren’t for those shoes that lit up when you stepped on them, I might never have given in.”

“But not long after I started remembering things, he was always sick. Sometimes he couldn’t keep food down, sometimes he’d get dizzy and have nosebleeds. They couldn’t figure out what was wrong.”

“By the time they did figure it out… it was already the worst news.”

“He didn’t have many relatives left, but a few old school friends would visit him often—once, they ran into my dad and, forgetting all about their dignity as middle-aged men, they immediately got into a fight behind the hospital.”

“That was the only time he feverishly mumbled about wanting to go back to school, back to the time when his parents were still alive.”

“I thought… we still had time.”

“But during the worst of his illness, the doctors wouldn’t even prescribe painkillers anymore… No medication could ease his pain, so they’d inject two doses of glucose and tell him it was a new, strong painkiller. He’d weakly mutter that he felt better.”

“I stayed by his side, unable to eat anything. He must’ve been confused because one day, he somehow got a bag of spicy snacks from another patient’s family. He said if I ate properly, he’d give me the spicy snacks.”

“He forgot I was already a teenager, not the three-year-old who’d throw tantrums over not getting junk food. I couldn’t bear to look at him. I just remember shoveling the food into my mouth, not even knowing if I ever ate the snacks in the end.”

“The day before he passed, I ran into that guy again behind the hospital, the one who claimed to have a miracle cure. He said his treatment would work in two weeks, guaranteed.”

“I stood there for a long time, with dead leaves crunching underfoot like funeral paper money. Somewhere far away, I could hear a funeral procession—there were cries and the sound of trumpets, like someone had come to take him away. I don’t know why, but I suddenly felt a fear I’d never known before. So I gave the guy a thousand yuan and bought that medicine.”

“But deep down, I knew… it was just incense ash mixed with a bit of root.”

Gu Yu rambled on about a lot of things, not knowing whether he was speaking to Shen Jin or to himself.

Only when he felt Shen Jin tightly grasping his hand did he snap back to reality and smile wryly, “I should’ve known better. I was already old enough to understand, but I still let myself be tricked out of a thousand yuan.”

“In hindsight, I guess I was too young and naive. I shouldn’t have been so focused on keeping him here. Maybe choosing to go sooner wasn’t the worst thing for him… At least he didn’t suffer too long.”

Without a doubt, Shen Jin was most likely crying. Gu Yu looked out at the distant sky, slipping Shen Jin’s slightly cool hand into his own warm pocket.

“I don’t really dare to cry,” he said afterward, “so having you cry for me now, Senior, is kind of nice.”

Shen Jin tightened his grip on Gu Yu’s hand and softly replied, “I’m not crying.”

“Mm.” Gu Yu humored him without exposing the lie, simply holding his hand as they walked deeper into the cemetery. “We’re almost there.”

The cemetery’s path wasn’t complicated. After climbing a few sets of steps, they quickly arrived at the grave.

The evergreen trees surrounding them had been silently standing there for years, their lush leaves rustling gently in the wind, as if they didn’t want to interrupt the words of those coming to pay their respects.

Shen Jin lifted his gaze. On the tombstone in front of him was a photo, its edges slightly yellowed with time, but the warmth and smile in the person’s eyes remained unmistakable. 

Gu Yu resembled the person in the photo quite a bit, though his father’s eyelashes were longer, and his eyes carried a deeper sadness.

Seven years had passed. Perhaps even Gu Yu himself thought he had long since gotten used to it, but Shen Jin noticed that at the very first glance Gu Yu cast toward the tombstone, his eyelashes trembled, and his eyes slowly turned red.

The wind moved the clouds across the sky. Gu Yu unconsciously tightened his grip on Shen Jin’s hand and swallowed the lump forming in his throat.

The last time he had visited the cemetery was probably right before the college entrance exams. His relatives and friends had been confident about his results, and since he wasn’t one to initiate conversation, he had no one to discuss such major life events with. So, he came to the grave, sitting beside it, doing his exam practice papers alone.

At the time, his relationship with his father had been distant. He still harbored feelings of resentment, thinking he had been abandoned by Shen Jin in the rain, and didn’t want to talk to his friends much. Leaning against the cold tombstone, he had no choice but to accept that he was alone once again.

That June evening had been slow to arrive, and after finishing his final math practice by the isolated grave, he rubbed his red eyes, murmuring into the breeze, “It would have been nice if you were still here.”

—If you were still alive, I wouldn’t have ended up as a poor, unwanted kid wandering the streets.

But the wind simply passed by, never stopping for him, never giving him an answer.

*

“Gu Yu…”

Shen Jin’s voice was soft, cautiously calling Gu Yu back from his thoughts after a moment of silence.

Gu Yu quickly blinked, returning to reality, and gave Shen Jin a comforting hug around the shoulders. Then he bent down to place the flowers in front of the grave and said, “Dad, today’s New Year’s Eve. I brought someone really important to meet you.”

Shen Jin, suddenly nervous as if truly meeting a parent, took a deep breath. Gu Yu steadied his breathing and continued, “I used to mention him a lot when I came here to do homework—Shen Jin, the silly senior who I always bullied.”

“…What are you talking about?” Shen Jin, embarrassed, nudged him with his elbow. “You bullied me? More like you kept smashing your face into my fists, right?”

Gu Yu raised an eyebrow at Shen Jin provocatively. “Yeah, bullied you so much your fists turned red.”

Then, pressing his hands on Shen Jin’s shoulders, Gu Yu joked to the man in the photo, “Satisfied? If not, there’s nothing to be done—I can’t beat him.”

“When did I ever hit you?” Shen Jin muttered guiltily, lowering his head. “Uncle, don’t listen to him. I’m actually a very gentle, quiet omega…”

Gu Yu’s expression was filled with exaggerated surprise and skepticism, but Shen Jin didn’t pay attention. Instead, he grabbed Gu Yu’s hand as it moved to ruffle his hair and hurriedly added, “Anyway, Uncle, don’t worry. I promise I’ll cook, clean, do the laundry, and take care of everything at home. I’ll pay what I can, and as long as Gu Yu is with me, he won’t suffer or be mistreated.”

Gu Yu, eyes brimming with unshed tears, couldn’t help but laugh. “Senior is in such a rush to become a housekeeper?”

But Shen Jin nodded seriously, refusing to joke around. “I’ve already told you, I can do everything. As long as you don’t keep complaining that my cooking isn’t good enough.”

Then he crouched down, sweeping the area in front of the grave with his hands, picking up fallen leaves as if speaking to himself. “This guy, Gu Yu, looks neat and put together outside, but his room is always a mess. So I’m guessing you must have been the opposite, someone who liked keeping things tidy.”

Although the cemetery was regularly cleaned, the fallen branches and leaves of autumn and winter inevitably added a touch of disorder. Shen Jin wanted to make sure the area around the grave was spotless, but as he cleaned, his eyes welled up again, his vision blurring.

Perhaps, for the first time, he truly understood why Gu Yu was always overly concerned about his health. And it was also the first time he realized what his presence truly meant to Gu Yu.

The earth and the mountains stood still in silence as Shen Jin, eyes red, gazed at the tombstone. He couldn’t help but say in his heart: I’m sorry.

—Your poor child was left alone in this world, and I could have told him I loved him sooner. I could have stayed by his side earlier, kept him from stubbornly holding back his tears and enduring his loneliness in silence.

The shadows of the trees swayed gently, and a breeze brushed past Shen Jin’s ear, as soft as a whispered reminder through the years.

He stood up, clenching his teeth, just about to grab Gu Yu’s hand to say something, when Gu Yu suddenly frowned and fixed his gaze on something behind him.

Shen Jin turned to look. A middle-aged man was walking toward them, but he stopped a few meters from the grave, not coming any closer. Instead, he asked, “Are you bringing just anyone to see him here?”

From the resemblance in their features, it was clear the man was Gu Yu’s father.

Shen Jin froze, instinctively stepping in front of Gu Yu. But Gu Yu remained calm, just like his father, without a trace of surprise. He simply responded, “Chairman Gu, if you’ve forgotten, would you like me to remind you what his last wishes said about the people he didn’t want to see?”