After being moved to tears by the sworn enemy's pheromones - Chapter 90

Since Gu Yu was usually a man of few words, with even fewer emotional fluctuations, there were a few things Shen Jin had been curious about for a long time.

He held the bunny with the flower-painted ribbon and scooted closer, finally asking the question that had been on his mind: “The first thing I want to ask is… where did you get the money for the surgery in such a short time?”

Not only did Gu Yu gather enough for the surgery itself, but he also set aside an additional sum, seemingly for unforeseen circumstances.

Gu Yu seemed to be in some sort of silent battle with his father, as he hadn’t touched any of the money on Uncle Lu’s card. Shen Jin couldn’t imagine what Gu Yu could have done to raise the funds. He even thought Gu Yu might have sold blood or a kidney, but Gu Yu scratched his ticklish arm, interrupting his thoughts, and guessed accurately: “What are you thinking now? Do you think my kidney’s like a piece of pork from the market, that I can just slice off however much I want?”

“Ahem.” Shen Jin apologetically patted Gu Yu’s side, comforting him, “Better protect it. I’ll need it for many more years to come.”

“… Be serious.” Gu Yu patted his hand. “You don’t need to worry about the money. I sold some things I didn’t need, got a few thousand from my tutoring job, and borrowed a bit from Jiang Lan and Tao Yan. That’s it, simple.”

Then he added, “Qin Zhu and Brother Yun also offered to lend me money, but I told them not to worry about it. You guys just need to take care of yourselves.”

Moved by the extraordinary bond among roommates, Shen Jin couldn’t help but ask, “So… do you think Jiang Lan and Tao Yan will hate me for this?”

He had never seen any second-hand buying or selling apps on the young master’s phone before, and that amount of money probably wasn’t much to Jiang Lan and Tao Yan, but after all, Gu Yu didn’t need it for himself. Forcing him to ask his friends for help still felt a bit inappropriate. 

When a guy just starts dating, then borrows money for his new partner, it makes the partner sound suspicious, no matter how you look at it.

“Do you think they’d hate you?” Gu Yu replied, “They practically worship you—don’t worry, I’ll be able to pay them back soon with my scholarship and part-time job earnings.”

“…I don’t get you guys,” Shen Jin said stubbornly, but he quickly unlocked his phone. “Let me transfer you my share too, you use it, and if anything happens, we can pool the money together.”

Gu Yu furrowed his brows and refused to accept it. “How many times have I told you? Can’t you save some money for yourself? Aren’t you worried about being scammed by an alpha?”

“This naive, innocent omega is giving it willingly,” Shen Jin rolled around to break free, forcefully transferring the money to Gu Yu. “If you keep scamming me, I could even give you a few more kids.”

“…I don’t want you to have kids,” Gu Yu, who had always been uncomfortable with the topic, was teased by Shen Jin once again. “Isn’t having kids my choice?” Shen Jin said.

Gu Yu frowned in distress, picking up the black cat plushie that resembled him, trying hard to act cute to dissuade Shen Jin. “We can adopt a kitty.”

Shen Jin laughed out loud and let it go for now. “We’ll talk about it after we get married. We’re not even there yet.”

The little alpha in front of him seemed embarrassed by his failed attempt at being cute, so he returned to his aloof demeanor, put the cat down, and replied coldly, “Okay.” Then he lowered his head and typed a message on the transfer page: “Thank you for lending me money, Senior.”

Shen Jin couldn’t understand why he was being so formal with this text, but Gu Yu explained, “When the day comes that you want to break up and sue me to get the money back, you’ll understand.”

It’s like I’ve been trying to tell you, that’s the answer to your first question. You’re always worried I’m giving too much, but you never realize that even if I gave you everything, I’d still feel this unexplainable sense of debt.

I want to protect you. I can’t allow anyone to have the chance to hurt you, not even myself.

Seeing the serious look on the alpha’s face, Shen Jin couldn’t help but pinch his cheek. “Can you be any sillier?”

Gu Yu shyly and seriously moved Shen Jin’s hand away. “I’m teaching you that no one is completely trustworthy, especially not alphas. Don’t exclude me from that.”

“Okay, okay, I get it,” Shen Jin said, unconcerned, even pressing further. “I’ve already told you, if that day ever comes, I’ll break your legs—I’m not kidding. I’m not afraid of going to jail.”

Even though Gu Yu had just been threatened with violence, he only nodded. “Just find a good lawyer to reduce the sentence.”

Seeing that his threats were ineffective, Shen Jin pouted. “Fine, then. Little CEO Gu can just deliver a few more orders to earn extra cash so that I can hire the best lawyer with your hard-earned money.”

Before Gu Yu could nod again, Shen Jin angrily poked him in the stomach with the black cat plushie, interrupting him forcefully. “You’re not allowed to agree.”

“Next question… besides the things you didn’t sell, what else have you kept from me?”

This question was one that nearly every alpha had been interrogated with at some point. Even the usually calm Gu Yu was caught off guard and took a step back, trying to avoid it. “It’s a long story. Are you not sleepy anymore?”

“I got over my sleepiness a while ago.” Shen Jin shifted his body to lie on Gu Yu’s lap, clearly intent on staying. “But if you don’t answer properly, I’ll overthink it for days and lose sleep, which will affect the surgery.”

This excuse was so convincing that Gu Yu had no choice but to answer. He stubbornly said, “There are too many things I haven’t told you before, but promise you won’t get mad.”

“Damn.” Shen Jin clutched the black cat plushie tightly, eyeing him warily. “You don’t have any unresolved romantic debts, do you?”

Mumbling something about “should’ve known not to sleep with you,” Gu Yu found himself with no choice, shifting from silent contemplation to resignation in just a few seconds.

After thinking for a moment, he began, his voice low, “Do you remember, there was a year when your birthday coincided with the school’s anniversary gala?”

Shen Jin flashed a triumphant smile and then nodded.

He always celebrated his birthday according to the lunar calendar, so it didn’t take long for him to recall that particular gala.

“Of course, I remember,” he reminisced for a moment. “One of my juniors performed a song he wrote himself. I don’t know how many people he won over that year.”

Talking about that school anniversary, what Shen Jin remembered most was this event. Unexpectedly, Gu Yu’s breathing quickened, as though something had struck a chord, and he suddenly asked, “Didn’t he win you over?”

Shen Jin froze for a moment, instinctively feeling like he’d just said something that hit a nerve, but strangely enough, he couldn’t figure out why this topic was sensitive.

He hurriedly explained, “We’re brothers; it would’ve broken some kind of unspoken rule to bring up those things…”

“Really?” Gu Yu tilted his chin, obviously full of grievance that he would bring up his ‘brother’ so actively. “It turns out that without me saying anything, you remember. Didn’t you hear that the song was written for you?”

What Shen Jin had been expecting to be a sweet bedtime story suddenly turned into a horror movie, as he unintentionally hit a sore spot. 

He jolted up, trying to sit up, but Gu Yu pinned him down on his lap, making him unable to move. It wasn’t until he suddenly recalled that the song was called “Embers” that he vaguely realized the lyrics and the title might have something to do with his own name.

Gu Yu, looking like he had been wronged, lowered his head to gaze at him. “The school anniversary… I originally signed up too.”

Forced to lie on Gu Yu’s lap, Shen Jin’s confusion doubled. 

As far as he remembered, Gu Yu never participated in these kinds of activities. Even when it came to large-scale recitations or choir performances, their homeroom teacher, mindful of his family situation, never forced him to take part. Naturally, that year’s school anniversary was no different. Shen Jin didn’t even know that Gu Yu had any talents beyond calligraphy and basketball.

“Can you sing or dance?” he tried changing the topic. “If I had known, I’d have sent you to debut as an idol.”

“Debut as an idol and then, in three days, it would be found out that the two of us sleep so well together?” Gu Yu frowned for a moment before saying, “I can neither sing nor dance… I just learned piano for a few days and picked up a bit.”

“…Piano? Since when are you on this high-class stuff?” Shen Jin was surprised, but it also made sense. Gu Yu calmly looked at him. “Weren’t you curious, senior? Don’t you want to ask why I didn’t end up performing at the anniversary?”

Caught in the act, Shen Jin laughed awkwardly, and since he couldn’t escape, he decided to play along. “Wasn’t I just about to ask you that, Little Mozart?”

“Don’t taint Mozart’s name.” Gu Yu pinched his chin playfully, saying, “If it weren’t for you making me mad, why would I have canceled my registration?”

Faced with this sudden accusation, Shen Jin didn’t even bother to defend himself. Instead, he adopted a sincere and self-reflective attitude: “Alright, alright, it’s all my fault. Please tell me, where exactly did I offend you this time, young master?”

Seeing him admit his mistakes so eagerly, Gu Yu finally let him go and said, “Do you even need to ask? Back then, I passed by your classroom, and you didn’t even glance at me. Clearly, you weren’t interested in me anymore. Why should I perform?”

Listening to his confident tone, one would think the logic was flawless.

“When did I not even glance at you?” Shen Jin felt an invisible weight on his back, probably the result of the sudden blame being placed on him. “If I weren’t afraid of leaving a criminal record, I would have installed a surveillance camera on you already—were you really just ‘passing by,’ or were you sprinting by like in a 100-meter dash?”

He muttered to himself, “Besides, the anniversary performance is to celebrate the great school’s birthday, not for me.”

“The great school still owes me over 300 yuan in meal card refunds. I’ll congratulate them once that’s paid.” Gu Yu bent closer, pulling the conversation back. “Senior, you were so focused on supervising your ‘brother’s’ rehearsal, listening to him sing a love song written just for you. No wonder you didn’t have time to notice me, right?”

It had been years since then, yet Gu Yu remembered everything vividly, down to the exact time: “It was after school on a Friday, more than fifty minutes had passed, and you were still happily staying with him in the classroom, practically glowing with joy.”

Well, of course, he was happy. That school anniversary performance earned his ‘brother’ second place for his singing and guitar playing, not to mention that he shared the prize with Shen Jin, saying it was a tribute to “Brother Shen.” As a result, Shen Jin, a school tyrant, felt his vanity swell to new heights.

He even remembered that his ‘brother’ handed him a sports watch and an exquisitely crafted ice cream cake. According to him, these were extra prizes given backstage.

Shen Jin didn’t take the watch, but he gladly accepted the cake. It was sweet and cold, really delicious. 

At the time, he thought, “Finally, the stingy school is spending some money. This cake would cost at least 100 or 200 yuan in a shop.”

But Gu Yu seemed about to pass out from anger. “I was sitting in the back row; I saw it all. Since when does second place at a school anniversary come with a little cake? Second place only got a box of pens handed out onstage, meant to encourage everyone to study harder. There were no watches or cakes.”

“…What?” Shen Jin stared at Gu Yu, his mouth hanging open, thinking he must have heard wrong.

It was as if, in that moment, he finally understood the simplest truth: Everything in this world could be fake, but the school’s stinginess was always real.

He suddenly recalled something and instinctively grabbed his phone. “No wonder he liked every post I made… except the ones about you.”

Halfway through speaking, Shen Jin also realized why Gu Yu had given him a sports watch a few months ago—at the time, he thought Gu Yu was just worried he’d have a heart attack from playing games too intensely.

“Not liking my posts is normal,” Gu Yu said, pausing before calmly continuing, “Later on, I ran into him in the cafeteria while I was eating with my desk mate. He sat next to us and told his friends that kids from single-parent families, especially those who’ve lost a parent, usually have strange personalities. He said Brother Shen was just playing around and didn’t really care.”

After he finished, Gu Yu looked at Shen Jin, expecting him to be shocked, but surprisingly, Shen Jin just frowned deeply, without questioning how his ‘brother’ could have said such things.

Seeing Shen Jin immediately pick up his phone and scroll through his contacts, Gu Yu was a bit taken aback. “Aren’t you worried I’m slandering your friend?”

Everyone knew how much Shen Jin valued his friends, so Gu Yu had thought his place in Shen Jin’s heart wasn’t important enough for him to turn on a ‘brother’ without hesitation.

“Slandering?” Shen Jin typed furiously. “I shouldn’t have saved him from being bullied back then. I’m going to scold him now, then block and delete him. If I see him again, I’ll beat him to a pulp.”

Gu Yu clenched his fist as he glanced at the phone, seeing that Shen Jin’s words were full of harsh curses.

Noticing his gaze, Shen Jin quickly moved his phone to the side. “…Don’t look!”

“…Why not?” Gu Yu came back to his senses and asked, reaching out to touch the burning red skin behind Shen Jin’s ear.

“I… I don’t normally say such ugly things…” Shen Jin stammered defensively.

“…” Gu Yu, who had seen much worse while watching Shen Jin play video games, didn’t call him out on the lie. Instead, he pursed his lips. “Just like that? So heartless? After all, he treated you pretty well, didn’t he?”

“What’s so good about it? We’re not even close.” Shen Jin was completely unreasonable. “I’ve helped him so much, he should be treating me like his father with all the respect in the world, but he hasn’t.”

 

After blocking the person, he tossed his phone aside and started complaining to Gu Yu: “That guy has such low manners to say that to my face, why didn’t you punch him?”

 

“…He didn’t name names.” Gu Yu barely had time to process his emotions and had to soothe Shen Jin by stroking the rabbit’s head. “Besides, my deskmate already cursed him out for me. It’s fine.”

 

But Shen Jin still looked grumpy, turning over to hug Gu Yu’s waist. The space encircled by those arms gave a deep sense of security. Standing within it, Gu Yu felt a small wave of warmth surge in his heart, only for it to quickly subside.

 

He said, “Shen Jin… Sometimes I just feel like I might not even be as good as that guy.”

 

Shen Jin pressed against him, his voice muffled: “How could you not be?”

 

But Gu Yu simply rested his hand gently on Shen Jin’s slender back, responding with only silence. It wasn’t until Shen Jin was about to get upset again that Gu Yu averted his gaze and admitted, “On your birthday… I hid a ‘never-ending’ little cake in my bag, intending to throw it in the senior’s path, but I didn’t even have the courage to take that step. I just sat there, jealous of him.”

 

Saying this, it was as if Shen Jin really were some small animal, who’d pick up any food it saw on the street and eat it right away.

 

Perhaps it was this sense of “feeling inferior” that had kept Gu Yu from ever telling Shen Jin any of this.

 

In the past, he didn’t understand why characters in movies and dramas were so reluctant to confess their feelings or show weakness. Clearly, if everyone were honest and open, it could lead to a perfect happy ending, yet the characters insisted on playing guessing games, leading to countless missed opportunities.

 

But later, once he found himself in that very situation, he understood. He couldn’t do it. And neither could millions of others like him.

 

“It doesn’t matter. To the senior, you’ll always be the most important,” Shen Jin told him. “No matter what Little Strawberry does, the senior will always understand and forgive you.”

 

With that, Shen Jin got up and pressed Gu Yu’s shoulder: “Even if you take my red buff at the start of the game, it’s just what the jungle king’s little sweetheart deserves.”

 

Gu Yu was flustered and tense under the intensity of Shen Jin’s gaze, so he pushed him away. “As if that’s true. If I took the senior’s red buff at the start, wouldn’t you come after me?”

 

He was just trying to act calm and tease Shen Jin, but Shen Jin suddenly covered Gu Yu’s eyes, leaned in, and kissed him. The kiss left no room to breathe, forcing Gu Yu to part his lips slightly, silently clutching Shen Jin’s clothes tighter.

 

The faint scent of strawberry wine spread between them, lacking any of the aggression typical of an alpha, instead simply entwining them for a long, tender moment.

 

So cute.

 

After pulling away from Gu Yu’s lips, Shen Jin couldn’t help but cup his face, thinking, *So even an alpha’s pheromones are different when they’re completely vulnerable and extremely shy.*

 

Of course, he wouldn’t dare say that to Gu Yu’s face. If he did, Gu Yu would probably bite his tongue and die on the spot.

 

Instead, he rested his chin on Gu Yu’s shoulder and repeated, “Next time something like this happens, you have to tell me sooner, okay? As long as you complain, I’ll always take your side.”

 

The alpha quietly responded, “I don’t believe you,” but wrapped his arms tightly around Shen Jin, murmuring a stream of thoughts to him.

 

It seemed there were quite a few things Gu Yu had never told Shen Jin before.

 

For instance, he mentioned how he’d registered several alternate accounts and carefully browsed Shen Jin’s various social media pages like a spy. Anytime there was a hint of being discovered, he’d change his username to something like ‘Fertilizer Supplier.’

 

But Shen Jin thought for a moment and said, “Actually, I had a vague feeling it was you… Who do you think all that angsty literature was meant for?”

 

Gu Yu was silent for half a second. “Don’t insult literature.”

 

Shen Jin insisted, “Tomorrow, I’ll print it out and make you turn it into a phone case.” Gu Yu pretended to be deaf and shamelessly changed the subject, “…I also secretly memorized the senior’s phone number and used a landline to call, but I didn’t say anything. Were you scared?”

 

“Hmm… Let me repeat myself: I knew it was you.” Shen Jin nuzzled Gu Yu’s neck. “I could tell just by listening to your breathing. I thought you were going to use this vicious prank of wasting my phone bill to get revenge. Scared me pretty good—since I’m broke.”

 

From the subtle change in Gu Yu’s breathing, it was obvious he was feeling a mix of embarrassment and defiance, now clinging to Shen Jin and babbling away.

 

There were many things Gu Yu had once intended to keep from Shen Jin for life.

 

One year during winter break, the city of C experienced its heaviest snowfall in a decade. Only half a centimeter of snow accumulated, but it was enough to send the whole city and surrounding areas into a frenzy.

 

The class group chat was unusually lively that morning. Some were organizing snowball fights, while others were secretly planning to ask their deskmates to hang out. Even Gu Yu got up early, wrapped in a dark coat for the rare occasion, and went out to see the snow.

 

The streets were crowded. He wandered aimlessly from the new district to the old, until his shoulders were dusted with snowflakes. It was then that he realized he had unknowingly walked all the way to the foot of Shen Jin’s building.

 

The class’s “great writer” said: *In the north, there’s a saying: Whoever you watch the first snowfall of the year with will be with you for life. Since we only see snow once every few decades, we might as well save time. If you’re secretly crushing on me, Venmo me 50 yuan for milk tea and don’t miss out.*

 

*How can there be so many stories about being together forever?* Gu Yu thought, staring at the old building in front of him. *Such a hassle.*

 

The elderly uncles and aunts who were up early to buy groceries noticed his tall, slim figure in the thin coat and occasionally cast curious glances his way. Some even kindly asked if he wanted something to eat, leaving Gu Yu awkwardly declining their offers and finding a corner to squat in.

 

The snow fell for a long time. He amused himself by making small snowballs, his hands and nose turning red from the cold, but Shen Jin never showed up.

 

It wasn’t until the sunset cast a golden hue over the snow that Gu Yu angrily drew Shen Jin’s name and a piggy face in the snow with a stick, then scooped up a handful of snow and went home.

 

“Holy crap, that was you?” Shen Jin was shocked, unable to hold it back. “I came back and saw my name in the snow. I thought destiny had chosen me or something.”

 

Gu Yu coldly replied, “Haven’t you learned to oppose superstition?”

 

“Yes, yes, of course I have. But back then, your senior was working a part-time job over winter break, leaving early in the morning,” Shen Jin quickly explained, trying to comfort him. “Why didn’t you wear a proper coat or down jacket? Did you catch a cold later?”

 

Gu Yu tried to dodge but couldn’t, and ended up muttering softly under his breath.

 

“…The coat looks better than the down jacket.”

 

“Not exactly a cold, just a bit of a fever. I slept it off.”

 

“But… senior didn’t care whether I had lunch that day.”

 

“Huh?” Shen Jin blinked, then quickly caught on and leaned closer to ask if the poor little thing really hadn’t eaten lunch that day. But Gu Yu immediately pushed him away, claiming he’d had a full banquet, as if a moment ago he hadn’t been desperately seeking Shen Jin’s concern.

 

Of course, he didn’t even need to look up to know Shen Jin’s face had long since split into a wide grin.

 

He could only twist his neck away, hugging Shen Jin even tighter. “…I’ll never tell you these things again.”

 

As for the second question, Gu Yu had always held onto his absolute alpha pride. No matter how sad or disappointed he was, he didn’t want to show any weakness in front of anyone, especially Shen Jin.

 

He wanted to always be mature, strong, even perfect. He wanted to always stand in front of Shen Jin, always protect him. He thought that was the deepest expression of an alpha’s love.

 

But then one day, strange thoughts began to surface. He found himself wanting Shen Jin to see him as a wounded, stray animal, as a helpless, homeless child. He wanted Shen Jin to care for him, to feel sorry for him. He even wanted to tell Shen Jin everything, just to receive his sympathy and affection.

 

It was only then that he realized he had completely fallen for him.

 

He was utterly lost in it and had no plans of turning back.