Dandy Escapes From Marriage - Chapter 36
While they were talking, they arrived at the yamen.
The advisor quickly expressed his willingness to cooperate with Shen Ke in all actions. Shen Ke had to temporarily put aside the question about the marriage engagement and focus on business, asking the advisor for a local map.
The advisor was quite astute. Considering that Magistrate Fang had not returned since he left, and this stranger came with a handwritten letter from the prefect and soldiers, the situation was clear.
It seemed the prefect wasn’t an easy person to deal with, so Magistrate Fang was either still in Huai Prefecture trying his luck or had been detained.
In any case, following this young man was the most important thing for now. Even if things went wrong, it wouldn’t be his fault. If things went well, he might even gain some credit.
“This only shows the terrain around our town. Are there any maps of the neighboring towns?” Shen Ke asked as he reviewed the map.
“This is all we have; this is the smallest map we have,” the advisor replied.
“Go find some people who are familiar with the surrounding and neighboring town terrains,” Shen Ke ordered.
“Terrain?” Chen Yinglian, who had been quiet until now, suddenly spoke up, “I think I’m quite familiar with it.”
“Yes, she grew up hunting and has traveled countless mountains,” Liu Shu immediately added.
“I think I can help too,” said Huishang, who had traveled around for alms for years.
Zhang Moyang and his sister were also locals and could provide some input. A group of people gathered around Shen Ke, describing the terrain and environment they knew. Shen Ke listened while adding lines and annotations to the existing map.
Only Liu Shu couldn’t help; he knew nothing about the environment here, just which shortcut to take to the gambling house.
After pacing around the room, he boredly watered the flowers in the yard. A servant thanked him, saying these were Master Fang’s favorite roses.
As soon as he finished speaking, Liu Shu uprooted the plant.
The servant: “…”
When the work inside was almost done, Liu Shu went back in, eagerly listening to Shen Ke’s arrangements.
“We know that the two missing persons disappeared outside the city, along two routes passing thirteen mountains. Excluding seven low hills, there are six mountains left. However, two of these mountains are connected. According to Miss Chen, the mountain paths here are extremely steep; even hunters usually only reach halfway before turning back.” Shen Ke instructed the elite soldiers he brought to guard the foot of the mountains and had the county yamen’s people search the remaining four mountains.
“Why not attack directly?” Zhang Moyang asked. “We have so many people.”
“Terrain is a crucial factor. The bandits have evaded capture because they hide well and make good use of the terrain. In a narrow pass, even a small force can hold off a large army. We need to minimize losses and ensure everyone returns safely,” Shen Ke explained.
This statement surprised the advisor. Over the years, he had become a seasoned opportunist, used to abusing power with the magistrate. He had almost forgotten why he became an advisor in the first place.
“Then what do we do after they guard the mountains?” Zhang Moyang asked.
“Draw the snake out of its hole and infiltrate their ranks,” Shen Ke said. “We don’t know how many of them there are or the terrain, so we need someone to infiltrate.”
“How do we infiltrate?”
“Didn’t Fang Qiong already show us? Bring back a beauty,” Liu Shu, who had been unable to speak earlier, finally chimed in. He sat on the table, swinging his legs.
Shen Ke didn’t deny it, smiling at him.
“A beauty?” Zhang Moyang reacted, instinctively looking at his sister. “Mosheng won’t be the bait!”
“No need, I’ll go,” Shen Ke said.
“You? Are you kidding? Do you think the bandits are blind?” Zhang Moyang scoffed.
“Xiao Wu can help me disguise—”
“I can’t,” Liu Shu directly refused.
“…You haven’t heard me out.”
“I know what you’re going to say, but you can’t.” Liu Shu got off the table, walked up to him, and smirked. “You know I’m the most suitable person. Besides you, no one can instantly tell I’m a man. You stay here and, like today, rescue me. I don’t trust anyone else, only you.”
“Are you ready?” Zhang Moyang asked.
“Yes.” Liu Shu had two dogs at his feet, raised by Zhang Moyang. He petted their heads and let them smell the sachet again.
The sachet had a strong scent, causing Zhang Moyang to cover his nose. “Will this work? Won’t they find you too fragrant to kidnap?”
“Better than their sweat stench,” Liu Shu said, turning to Shen Ke. “I’m off.”
“Be extremely careful and prioritize your safety,” Shen Ke said, his face clouded with worry. “As soon as you ascertain their numbers and the terrain, immediately—”
“Immediately signal, I know, you’ve said it eight hundred times,” Liu Shu interrupted with a smile. Suddenly, he asked, “If I manage to help you this time, does that mean I’m a useful person?”
“You’ve always been useful.”
“Then would you marry a useful person?” Liu Shu pressed on.
Shen Ke smiled and replied, “Shouldn’t we first talk about your engagement issue?”
“That’s a long story. Let’s focus on the task at hand. Time is running short!” Liu Shu flipped his hair and, after saying goodbye to everyone, left the city alone.
After walking for more than two hours without any incident, he began to feel annoyed. The heat was unbearable, and the journey was exhausting.
Finally, he arrived at the foot of the two connected mountains, where there was a small tea shed. He sat down weakly and ordered a pot of tea.
The tea shop owner, an elderly man with a stooped back, poured him some tea and asked, “Miss, where are you heading in this heat all alone?”
“I was kicked out by my parents. I’m looking for a place to make a living,” Liu Shu said with a smile, taking the tea and lifting his sleeve to cover the cup as he drank. He then smiled at the owner.
The owner chuckled, “Such a beautiful lady, finding a place to make a living shouldn’t be hard.”
“It’s not that easy… Oh… why do I feel dizzy?” Liu Shu pressed his temples and slumped onto the table, appearing sleepy.
“Miss, what’s wrong? Could it be heatstroke?” The owner nervously shook Liu Shu’s arm. Seeing no response, he whistled.
Within moments, four or five men appeared and put Liu Shu into a sack. The owner instructed, “This woman’s very pretty. Be careful not to hurt her face.”
The men carried Liu Shu up the mountain. One of them grumbled, “This woman is heavy.”
“I haven’t seen such a tall woman in a long time.”
“She looks good, but I wonder if the boss will like someone so tall.”
“We’ll find out soon.”
Inside the sack, Liu Shu opened his eyes, carefully removed a hairpin, and poked a small hole in the sack. He then sprinkled some of the scented powder from his sachet outside.
“This woman smells too good,” one of the men remarked.
“Beauties always smell nice,” another replied with a lewd laugh.
After a while, Liu Shu felt himself being put down, only to be lifted by a strong man.
Through the small hole, Liu Shu saw the path become narrow and treacherous, only wide enough for one person. He heard the clinking of chains as the man carrying him grabbed onto a chain with one hand and struggled to climb. “Damn it, this woman is heavy! Someone switch with me soon!”
The others laughed at his complaint.
While they chatted, Liu Shu discreetly dropped an earring.
They traveled along the narrow path for about fifteen minutes before the terrain changed, and they took turns carrying him again. When Liu Shu heard the sounds of many people, he knew they had reached the bandits’ hideout.
“The second in command is out. Lock her up first, we’ll deal with her when he returns,” said someone in charge.
Liu Shu was thrown into a room. When the sack was finally removed, a bandit warned, “Stay put here. We’ll provide food, but if you try to escape, don’t blame us for being rough.”
Liu Shu shrank back, nodding frantically in feigned panic.
After the bandit left, Liu Shu turned around and saw three women huddled together in a corner, pale and too frightened to speak, staring at him.
“Did they capture you too?” Liu Shu asked.
The women exchanged looks before one of them nodded.
“It’s a coincidence, I’m here for the same reason,” Liu Shu said. “Do any of you know Yu Qiaohui?”
“I am Yu Qiaohui,” one of the women said weakly. “Who are you? I don’t know you.”
“But I know your parents.”
“How are they?”
“They’re very worried about you. They haven’t eaten for days and have been looking for you.”
Yu Qiaohui burst into tears, burying her head and sobbing.
“Why are there three of you here?” Liu Shu asked, frowning. “The yamen only knows about two missing people.”
The girl who nodded earlier, braver than the others, confessed, “Actually, there were five of us. We three are orphans, so no one reported us missing. Naturally, no one knows we disappeared.”
“And the other two?”
“One was sold to a brothel, and the other was taken by the second in command to meet a buyer.”
“A buyer?”
“Someone who wants to buy us,” the girl said, hugging her arms. “You’re so pretty, you might be next.”
Liu Shu understood and asked, “You’ve been here longer. Have you learned anything about this bandit camp?”
Yu Qiaohui, still sobbing, replied, “I’ve heard a bit. Originally, these bandits only stole money and crops. But recently, the second in command rebelled, injured the leader, and ordered them to capture lone women and sell them.”
“I heard the second in command went out. He is—”
“Yes, he went to sell another girl. The first girl was sold to a brothel by his subordinates. This time, the second in command is handling it himself, so we suspect it’s to a big shot.”
Liu Shu recalled the conversations he overheard and went to knock on the door. “Hey, anyone out there?”
“What is it?” The guard opened the door.
“I’m hungry.”
“It’s not mealtime yet!”
“I’m hungry. I want roast chicken.”
“Don’t push your luck! A prisoner ordering food?!”
“When I’m hungry, my face tends to get thin, and then I won’t look as good.” Liu Shu looked at him innocently.
Half an hour later, the guard returned, cursing, with roast chicken, angrily leaving it behind. “Damn it, I haven’t had roast chicken in ages!”
The three women were dumbfounded, watching Liu Shu casually prepare to eat. One couldn’t help but ask, “Aren’t you afraid?”
“Afraid of what? Before they sell us, they’ll probably treat us well. Since we’re here, we might as well enjoy it. Come on, let’s eat some roast chicken,” Liu Shu invited.
The three women stared at him for a moment, their fear slightly lessened. After hearing him say, “Even if we die, we should die full,” they slowly moved over to join him in eating.
After finishing the chicken, Liu Shu pretended to have a stomachache and asked to go to the toilet.
“You’re so troublesome!” The guard led him to the toilet.
Liu Shu blatantly observed the camp.
The camp was on a mountain peak, surrounded by barren land. People were scattered everywhere, some drying corn, others sharpening knives, all looking vicious. Some of the bandits had gone out with the second in command.
His open survey drew many stares. The guard, thinking Liu Shu was trying to seduce the brothers, was infuriated.
“Stop pretending! Your beauty tricks won’t work here!”
“Really? Then why are you guarding the toilet door? You must want to peek.”
“…Of course not!”
Returning to his holding place, Liu Shu contemplated when to signal. It wasn’t the right time; he didn’t know their exact numbers or when the second in command would return. Besides, there were three hostages.
He could escape alone, but taking three women along was problematic.
“Never mind, let’s eat roast chicken first!” For dinner, Liu Shu ordered another roast chicken and four bowls of rice.
The guard: “…”
At bedtime, Yu Qiaohui invited him, “Miss, do you want to sleep with us? We can lie sideways and make room.”
“No, absolutely not,” Liu Shu replied, resolutely lying on the other side of the room with his back to them. “I have someone I like.”
The three women were puzzled, not understanding the connection between liking someone and sleeping separately.
Early the next morning, Liu Shu heard what seemed to be morning exercises. Through the door crack, he saw about a hundred people in the courtyard.
Not a small number.
After thinking for a while, he suddenly came up with an idea.
During lunch, he ordered roast chicken again, prompting the gatekeeper to shout angrily, “You’ve finished both of the last two chickens! There are none left! Really, none left!”
“Then roast duck it is. I heard ducks quacking yesterday,” Liu Shu said.
“And bring a few more jugs of wine. The sisters are not in good spirits; I’ll comfort them,” he added.
The gatekeeper: “…”
The sisters: “???”
As they were eating, someone outside suddenly shouted, “Another woman has been caught!”
The gatekeeper asked in surprise, “Why another one?”
“Old man Qi said this woman seems simple-minded and homeless, so we caught her to give her a home.”
“Bring her in then,” the gatekeeper impatiently instructed.
The door opened, and a freshly captured woman was thrown in.
As the sack was lifted, Liu Shu saw who was inside.
After the door closed, the woman glanced around, then her gaze fixed on Liu Shu. She immediately got up, picked up the bowl of wine in front of him, and took two sips. “I’m so thirsty!”
“Did your sister do your makeup?” Liu Shu pinched his chin, carefully examining his face. “The skills are decent. You’re a good material, indeed my good disciple.”
“That’s right. But look who’s talking about sister,” Zhang Moyang replied proudly.
“Why are you here?”
“The dog found the way here. Ke Shen speculated something might have delayed you, or you were in danger, so you didn’t signal, and sent me to help.”
Zhang Moyang lowered his voice and looked at the three girls across the room. “Looks like you were really delayed.”
“Your presence won’t help much,” Liu Shu said.
“Don’t worry, I’m not the only one who came. Strength in numbers,” Zhang Moyang said mysteriously.
“What do you mean?”
In the afternoon, another woman was thrown in, but this one was tall and muscular, far from beautiful. Even the gatekeeper wondered why the brothers brought her back.
“This woman hunts. Unfortunately, she stumbled upon our mountain, and Old Man Qi said to bring her back to prevent her from discovering our hideout. Let’s keep her for now; someone might like her.”
The original three girls were no longer huddling in fear. They stared at Chen Yinglian with awe. Yu Qiaohui asked quietly, “Is she also disguised by your brothers?”
Earlier, Liu Shu and Zhang Moyang had chatted in their original dialect for quite a while, scaring the three girls. After explaining that they were here to rescue them and capture the bandits, their faces finally regained color.
“She’s a genuine woman,” Liu Shu said.
The three women’s gaze at Chen Yinglian gradually changed from surprise to admiration. Yu Qiaohui made up her mind, “If I can survive and go back, I want to train to have a physique like hers.”
It felt so secure…
“Why are you here too?” Liu Shu asked Chen Yinglian.
“Your friend suspected something might have happened to you because there were other girls here. He guessed the girls hadn’t been harmed yet, but thought it might be inconvenient for a big man like you, so he sent me to assist.”
Liu Shu was touched by Ke’s cleverness and moved by Chen Yinglian’s selflessness.
But Chen Yinglian said, “People die for wealth, and birds die for food. I didn’t come for nothing. Your friend promised a hundred taels as a reward.”
“A hundred taels?!” Liu Shu thought of his empty home and wondered how to fill that gap. After a moment, he had an idea and asked, “About you and Fang Qiong, you’re really not blaming me?”
“When Magistrate Fang returns, he’ll probably let Fang Qiong divorce me. Then I can leave with the betrothal gifts.” Chen Yinglian said, “If it weren’t for you, I couldn’t have earned so much money in one go. I’ll live comfortably for the rest of my life.”
Liu Shu couldn’t help but laugh, “But I really owe you for this. If you have anything to ask for help in the future, just find me or…”
He didn’t finish, thinking he would say it when he returned to the Liu family later.
In the evening, another person entered the room.
The gatekeeper was about to collapse, “You’re bringing in so many tall women. Why did you bring a monk too?”
The one responsible for capturing people explained, “There’s no other way. This monk came to beg for alms on our mountain, and even wanted to stay overnight. We can’t let him go back.”
“But don’t keep him here; it’s full of women. What if he has bad intentions and defiles these women?”
“Um, excuse me, I’m a monk,” Hui Shang couldn’t help but defend himself.
Sitting in the corner, Liu Shu added silently in his heart: a monk who’s ready to renounce celibacy for beauty.
“Nowhere else is safe; this is the only place. Please bear with us, brother, just for tonight. Second Master will be back tomorrow, and we’ll see how he handles it.”
“Alright.”
Over an hour later, the monk came to inquire about the situation and asked the gatekeeper, “How’s it inside?”
The gatekeeper, with vacant eyes, replied, “They’re having a feast inside.”
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Momo
This funny story’s getting funnier omg 🤣