Dandy Escapes From Marriage - Chapter 9

Why are you so absent-minded?” Shen Ke worriedly asked.

 

“Oh, it’s nothing. I’m fine, couldn’t be better!” Liu Shu used a tough tone to conceal his heartache.

 

“Then why are you scratching your head?”

 

“Just thinking, it’s inevitable to rack my brains.”

 

“But you’re scratching Hui Shang’s clever head.” Shen Ke reminded.

 

…

 

Liu Shu suddenly stopped, looked down at his shiny bald head, rubbed it as if trying to please Hui Shang, and smiled, “Master, are you satisfied with my service?”

 

Hui Shang lifted his expressionless face, “Unfortunately, it’s still a bit lacking, otherwise sparks would have flown.”

 

Liu Shu awkwardly smiled, always preoccupied with hidden troubles. He cautiously sat beside him, bumped his arm, and Hui Shang said, “If you don’t want your arm, you can donate it to our temple.”

 

Bumping him again, Liu Shu asked, “Do monastics have any requirements?”

 

“Do you want to become a monk?” Hui Shang looked at him unexpectedly.

 

“Just asking. Do you have requirements for family background, height, weight, and such?”

 

Hui Shang assessed him and shook his head, “You won’t do.”

 

“Why? How can you say I won’t?!” Liu Shu got defensive.

 

“Your six senses are not pure.”

 

“It’ll be pure eventually. Even when a courtesan dances and undresses next to me, I have no reaction. What’s the difference with a monk?”

 

“You have to shave your head,” Hui Shang added.

 

“No, that’s not happening.” Imagining himself with a bald egghead, Liu Shu immediately dismissed the idea.

 

“Why do you even have thoughts of becoming a monk?” Shen Ke, who had been silent, suddenly asked.

 

“I don’t. I’m just curious. Aren’t you curious about how to become a monk?”

 

“Not curious,” Shen Ke shook his head.

 

“… I am curious!”

 

“So, your thirst for knowledge is so strong. Are you curious about how three women and a hundred and five men live together?” Shen Ke regretfully said.

 

“What? Is that a thing?!” Excitement sparkled in Liu Shu’s eyes. “You have to tell me all about it!”

 

Hui Shang looked at him with pity. Anyone who had read a bit of Water Margin wouldn’t be fooled this badly.

 

Shen Ke only told Liu Shu a bit at the beginning, but it was enough to get him eager for more. However, Shen Ke ended the conversation, citing gardening as the reason.

 

The three of them went to the vegetable garden, where Liu Shu caught a chicken. “Shouldn’t we find a place to keep them?”

 

“Don’t we have chicken coops?” Shen Ke said.

 

“Aren’t they too small? We can’t keep them in cages forever, right?”

 

“So, should we keep them or not?”

 

“You guys have grown this big, all thanks to divine mercy,” Hui Shang sighed, causing distress for the two men.

 

“Go find the bamboo weaver; he can make something for this,” Shen Ke suggested.

 

“Alright.” Liu Shu took Shen Ke’s seeds. “You go; I’ll stay and plant the vegetables.”

 

Shen Ke observed his expression, smiling, “Are you afraid of him?”

 

“Who said that? I’m not afraid. I just… just don’t want to talk to an ugly guy,” Liu Shu stammered.

 

At this, Hui Shang raised his head abruptly, a hint of pride flashing across his face.

 

Amused, Shen Ke said, “Alright, I’ll go find him, see if there’s a solution.”

 

“Go ahead, be careful,” Liu Shu encouraged.

 

After Shen Ke left, Liu Shu looked at the seeds and then at the vegetable plot. He felt that their plot was different from others. Gazing into the distance, he asked, “Why is the soil in other people’s plots so loose?”

 

“They’ve plowed it.”

 

“Why isn’t ours loose?”

 

“Haven’t plowed.”

 

“… Then how do we plow?”

 

He looked at Hui Shang, and Hui Shang looked at him, shrugging, “Guess why I became a monk?”

 

“Because of love?”

 

“Because I didn’t want to plow the land,” Hui Shang cleverly remarked. “Alms are much simpler.”

 

“Don’t tempt me to become a monk,” Liu Shu said, covering his chest.

 

Sharpening the knife doesn’t delay the chopping of firewood. Since they wanted to cultivate the land, they had to plow it first. He went home to find tools and easily found the small hoe that Shen Ke used for gathering herbs. It was about the length of his forearm, lightweight and compact.

 

“This is too easy.” Liu Shu swung it in the air a few times. “Just need to loosen the soil, right?”

 

“Yeah. You plow here; I’ll go do something,” Hui Shang said, gazing into the distance, lifting his robe, and walking away.

 

“Where are you going?”

 

“To pick ear roots.”

 

“…” Liu Shu punched the air in his direction, then started digging in the ground with the small hoe.

 

“This is not simple at all!” After a short while, he exhausted his strength, disregarding the issue of cleanliness. He sat on the ground, looking up helplessly at the sky.

 

A shadow fell over him, and Shen Ke looked down at him.

 

After a moment, Shen Ke asked in confusion, “What are you doing?”

 

“Digging the ground,” Liu Shu said.

 

“Oh, digging. If you didn’t say, I would have thought you were digging graves.” Shen Ke looked at the large pit in front of him.

 

“I’m loosening the soil; you wouldn’t understand.”

 

Shen Ke indeed didn’t understand. As a pampered individual, how could he know these details? Was this really the way to plant vegetables?

 

“Look, that piece of land is so loose, different from your dead land. Right now, I’m reviving it,” Liu Shu confidently explained. “How about it? Am I impressive?”

 

“Impressive, impressive,” Shen Ke, fully aware of his lack of knowledge about farming, acknowledged, “Luckily, we have you.”

 

Liu Shu grinned, his braid standing even higher. Satisfied, he said, “Then leave it to me. I guarantee I’ll grow a large patch of good vegetables for you! By the way, what did the bamboo weaver say?”

 

“Well, he said he would help us make a larger chicken coop. We just need to close the chickens in at night,” Shen Ke explained.

 

“That’s good. Is it expensive?”

 

“It’s free.”

 

“Free? Is there a catch?” Liu Shu furrowed his brows, realizing things might not be that simple. Although he wasn’t involved in managing the household’s affairs, he had picked up some knowledge and knew that the more something was claimed to be free, the more costly it could be. “Did he mention any other conditions?”

 

“Yes.”

 

See, I knew there was a catch!

 

“What conditions?”

 

“Help him write a letter. He can’t read or write and wants to send a letter to his distant relatives to express his longing.”

 

“Aren’t there other people in the village who can read and write?” Liu Shu curiously asked.

 

Shen Ke shook his head.

 

“Wow, this place is truly my haven of joy.” Liu Shu felt happy at the thought of not having someone constantly berating him for his lack of literacy skills. However, upon second thought, he chuckled, “But you could make a fortune by writing letters, couldn’t you? Earn a coin or two for each letter, and you wouldn’t have to toil away gathering herbs!”

 

Shen Ke shook his head again, “Just writing a letter, no effort, no need for payment.”

 

“But rare things are valuable. Your skills are unique, and they need you. Isn’t this a mutually beneficial business?” Liu Shu couldn’t understand why, with a good deal in hand, Shen Ke refused to take it and preferred to eat coarse food and work hard in the fields.

 

“They’re not wealthy, and it’s a letter for their family. I can’t profit from that money,” Shen Ke adhered to his principles.

 

With the two unable to see eye to eye, they fell silent and went about their respective tasks. Shen Ke returned home to cook, while Liu Shu continued digging and planting.

 

At noon, Hui Shang returned with a handful of ear roots, noticing that the atmosphere at home had changed, and the friendly laughter was absent. He surveyed the surroundings and walked over to Liu Shu, the one with a looser tongue, asking, “What happened to you guys?”

 

Liu Shu, eager to vent his frustrations, immediately recounted the morning’s dispute, “You see, is he not lacking in common sense? We’re in this ghostly state of poverty, and he refuses to earn this money. Why is he so old-fashioned?”

 

“Ahem, I can hear you,” Shen Ke, busy at the stove, said without turning around.

 

“I want you to hear it,” Liu Shu raised his voice.

 

“Amitabha.”

 

“How can you say that?” Liu Shu nudged Hui Shang’s arm, indicating that he should persuade Shen Ke. “When considering others, shouldn’t you first think about your own situation?”

 

“Yes,” Hui Shang nodded.

 

Seizing the opportunity, Liu Shu turned back to Shen Ke, “You see, even the Master agrees.”

 

Hui Shang remained silent. In his mind, being a master was one thing, and being a bald donkey was another.

 

Shen Ke, helpless, glanced at them but remained silent.

 

“Brother Ke is not only old-fashioned but also simple-minded, rigid, rigidly adheres to the norm, talks about benevolence, righteousness, morality, and empty words,” Hui Shang remarked.

 

“Hey, you bald donkey, watch your language!” Liu Shu frowned, looking displeased. “How can you say he’s simple-minded? I think you’re just jealous of him being bald!”

 

“He’s originally…”

 

“He’s smart, okay? He’s read more books than you’ve had meals! Talking about benevolence, righteousness, and morality—if he wasn’t righteous, would he still let you come and seek alms in this dire situation? If he wasn’t kind, I might have starved to death long ago…”

 

As Liu Shu spoke, his voice gradually softened. He bit his lip, glanced slowly at Shen Ke, and immediately blushed in embarrassment. He took step by step toward him, lowered his head, and said, “A Ke, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have called you old-fashioned… Thank you for taking me in.”

 

“It’s okay. I’m not angry.” Shen Ke, seeing his apologetic demeanor resembling a meek kitten retracting its claws, couldn’t help but pat his head. “What you said makes sense.”

 

Unexpectedly, Liu Shu lifted his head, blinked, and asked, “So, will you…”

 

“No.”

 

“Alright.” Liu Shu stood up straight, patted his chest, and assured, “I won’t pursue this business. Anyway, I won’t let you starve!”

 

“Oh?” Shen Ke raised an eyebrow.

 

“Oh?” Hui Shang coldly chuckled, picked up a shovel, and stirred the vegetables in the pot. “Have you said enough? The vegetables are burning. If we don’t take them off the stove soon, we’ll all be doomed.”

 

Liu Shu: “…”