Even a Lonely Squirrel Has Its Burrow - Chapter 78

“Um… well.”

 

Garam lifted his gaze from the cup and looked at the person across from him. It was Minjae who had spoken.

 

“Um… for starters, I haven’t heard everything about what happened between you and that person, right?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

Garam answered calmly, nodding. Minjae seemed somewhat reassured and continued.

 

“But I do know that person treats you really well.”

 

“…….”

 

Garam nodded again. He didn’t disagree with that.

 

“Your concern is this, right? That you might be confusing the affection you feel for your protector with the desire to be in a romantic relationship—in other words, love?”

 

When Garam simply stared at him instead of answering, Minjae gave an awkward smile and kept talking. It was a little surprising to see Minjae speaking so calmly and seriously like this for the first time.

 

“But as I see it, affection for a protector is a little different. You know how people often say that there are different kinds of love? It’s like that.”

 

“…….”

 

“When someone is there for you in tough times, that’s just what a protector does. It’s what they’re supposed to do. Honestly, that person is much older than you and is someone capable of protecting you, so I think it’s only natural for them to act that way.”

 

Minjae picked up the cup in front of him and downed about half of its contents in one go before continuing.

 

“But that aside, the real issue is your feelings.”

 

Minjae pointed a finger at Garam’s chest.

 

“That person is just doing what they’re supposed to do. But if you find yourself caring about their feelings… if the things they do for you feel special…”

 

Garam’s throat moved slowly as he swallowed.

 

“Then isn’t it because you consider that person special? Not just as a protector, but as someone more significant.”

 

Minjae gave a small smile. However, Garam couldn’t bring himself to smile at all. He didn’t know exactly what expression he had on his face, but he was certain there wasn’t a hint of amusement.

 

Just then, Seonhu, who had been quietly listening, cautiously called out to Garam.

 

“Um, Garam?”

 

“Oh, yes.”

 

Seonhu was smiling softly at Garam. His hand under the table seemed to be firmly holding Minjae’s. It didn’t look like he was trying to stop Minjae from speaking but rather to encourage him.

 

When Garam’s gaze, which had been lowered, met Seonhu’s, Seonhu smiled somewhat sheepishly before speaking.

 

“First of all, I want to clarify that I don’t know everything about the conversation you had with that person. So I can only make judgments based on what I’ve just heard.”

 

“Yes.”

 

Garam nodded readily.

 

“May I ask you a few questions?”

 

“Yes, go ahead.”

 

Receiving a positive response, Seonhu smiled and began speaking. Minjae stared at him blankly as if he had no idea what Seonhu was about to say.

 

“Do you feel anxious when that person isn’t around?”

 

“Um….”

 

Do I? Garam carefully examined his feelings. Did he feel anxious when Sa Muheon wasn’t there? But Garam didn’t think so.

 

Of course, if Sa Muheon were to disappear entirely, it would create a significant emotional storm in Garam. But if Sa Muheon were just absent for a short while, it didn’t make him feel uneasy. Unless it was like yesterday, when Sa Muheon seemed to be deliberately avoiding him…

 

After some thought, Garam shook his head slightly.

 

“…Honestly, I’m not sure. Sometimes I feel anxious, and other times I don’t. But generally speaking, I don’t feel anxious.”

 

“Hmm. Then do you want to get closer to that person?”

 

“Yes.”

 

He could answer that question without hesitation. Seonhu chuckled softly at Garam’s quick response.

 

“You’re already pretty close, though.”

 

“Oh….”

 

Was that so? Garam blinked blankly.

 

“From what I’ve heard, I know a little bit about the person you feel indebted to. They’re someone I’ve heard about through others.”

 

“Oh….”

 

Garam nodded. Since Minjae knew about Sa Muheon, it didn’t seem strange that Seonhu also knew about him.

 

“Of course, I don’t know everything, but at least I know that you and that person aren’t blood relatives.”

 

“…Yes.”

 

“It’s not easy to protect a complete stranger like that. Especially since you’re not a child anymore… Oh, not that you’re old either, of course. But legally speaking, you are an adult.”

 

“That’s true.”

 

There was nothing wrong with what he said. Moreover, it was a point that Jang Seokgyu had also touched on that morning.

 

“But for someone to voluntarily act as your protector and provide you with ample support, both emotionally and materially—it seems to me that you’re already in a pretty close relationship.”

 

Garam’s lips parted slightly. Strictly speaking, the relationship between Sa Muheon and Garam was one born out of mutual necessity.

 

Garam received his protection, and in turn, Sa Muheon wanted to use Garam to remove the troublesome Ryu Beomjoo. Once Ryu Beomjoo was out of the picture, Garam was supposed to settle all the debts that had accumulated before him.

 

However, that didn’t mean Seonhu’s words were wrong. Even to an outsider who knew nothing, Sa Muheon’s kindness far exceeded the bounds of what could be considered ordinary.

 

As Garam’s silence grew longer, Seonhu, who had been quietly observing him, spoke again.

 

“Gratitude toward a protector could simply mean wanting to maintain a good relationship out of a sense of repayment. But Garam, it seems like you sometimes feel anxious without that person and wish for your relationship to progress further, doesn’t it?”

 

“…Yes, that’s correct.”

 

“Then I think it’s safe to say that it’s not just a matter of viewing that person as a protector.”

 

“…….”

 

“It’s another kind of emotion directed at the person themselves.”

 

“Ah….”

 

A sigh-like sound escaped from his lips.

 

Though Garam thought it was up to him alone to define his feelings, hearing others’ perspectives inevitably shook his resolve.

 

Moreover, with everyone around him insisting on the same point, Garam’s already confused heart wavered even more precariously.

 

“…….”

 

After listening to what the two of them had to say, Garam once again questioned his feelings. Were his emotions toward Sa Muheon merely gratitude and dependence, or was it something more special?

 

But he couldn’t decide that right now. Nor did he need to.

 

Making a small resolution, Garam picked up the cup he had been holding. The coffee that had once warmed him now felt lukewarm, almost cold.

 

“Thank you. I think your input will be a big help in sorting out my thoughts.”

 

Placing the cup down, Garam expressed his gratitude to the two people sitting across from him. Seonhu simply smiled gently, while Minjae waved his hands frantically as if embarrassed.

 

“Oh, come on, why say such cringy things, hyung?”

 

“I’m saying it because I’m genuinely grateful.”

 

“Alright, alright, if you say so.”

 

Minjae seemed genuinely embarrassed by the situation, barely making eye contact with Garam. Then, he quickly stood up.

 

“Well, today’s love counseling session ends here!”

 

“Haha….”

 

Love counseling? The embarrassing term made Garam feel heat rush to his ears. However, since Minjae was more embarrassed and had hurriedly left the room, no one noticed the redness in Garam’s ears.

 

Seonhu glanced at Minjae, who was leaving quickly, then turned back to Garam to wish him the best before following after him.

 

Left alone, Garam took a moment to organize his thoughts before standing up. Since there were no more lectures left for the day, it seemed like a good idea to head home.

 

Once he got home, he could take a closer look at his feelings. He might even be able to attach a proper label to his emotions toward Sa Muheon. Of course, it wasn’t something that needed to be resolved today. Thinking that way made him feel a little more at ease. He realized he had been unnecessarily anxious.

 

A faint smile appeared on Garam’s lips.

 

The thought that Sa Muheon might still be avoiding him momentarily erased the smile, but Garam had a small sense of assurance that he wouldn’t avoid him forever. That confidence stemmed from Garam’s trust in Sa Muheon as a person.

 

In the meantime, Garam planned to take his time organizing his thoughts. Then, he would be able to have a direct conversation with Sa Muheon. Just as Jang Seokgyu had suggested, he could even ask him directly.

 

When that time came, Garam would ask the question he was most curious about.

 

“Have you, too, started to feel something different?”