Even a Lonely Squirrel Has Its Burrow - Chapter 85

Chapter 85

“…Nothing happened.”

The answer from Sa Muheon was what Garam had been waiting for, but at the same time, it left him disappointed. Before Garam could even think about why he felt disappointed by the answer, he opened his mouth.

“Really?”

Sa Muheon raised one eyebrow.

“Why?”

“No….”

Although Garam’s tone sounded as though he was pressing for an answer, he didn’t have the courage to truly ask about what had happened the previous night.

It was only natural. He couldn’t possibly ask, “I think I kissed you last night, is that true?” There was no way Garam had the nerve to do that. In the end, he merely opened his mouth slightly as if to speak, then closed it again. Sa Muheon, who had been silently watching him, tossed the blanket he was holding back at Garam.

When Garam looked up at him, Sa Muheon spoke with a somewhat irritated expression.

“Anyway, since you’re awake, get out.”

It was only then that Garam realized once again that he had been lying on Sa Muheon’s bed. He flinched as if he’d been burned and quickly sat up. His head throbbed as if it were echoing inside, but that wasn’t important right now. Garam frowned and trailed after Sa Muheon, who was already leaving the room.

Sa Muheon didn’t care whether Garam followed him or not and walked ahead. His destination was the kitchen. Garam hadn’t noticed it before, but as they approached the kitchen, the smell of delicious food wafted through the air. Garam’s nose twitched.

“Wow….”

On the dining table, a hearty meal had already been prepared. The sight of steaming bean sprout soup made his mouth water. Only then did Garam realize how hungry he was. He hesitated for a moment, glancing at Sa Muheon, who was already seated at the table, before cautiously taking the seat across from him.

“Eat.”

“…Thank you for the meal.”

Sa Muheon merely nodded slightly and didn’t say anything more. Garam waited for him to start eating first. Once Sa Muheon picked up his spoon and began his meal, Garam quickly scooped up a spoonful of soup and brought it to his mouth. The warm broth seemed to soothe his unsettled stomach. As Garam gulped down the soup in a hurry, Sa Muheon, who had been eating in silence, spoke quietly.

“Do you not remember anything from last night?”

“Cough! Pardon?”

Surprised by the sudden question, Garam tried to suppress the cough that burst out and raised his head. Sa Muheon was looking at him with a subtle expression. Didn’t he just say nothing happened? Garam’s mind raced to grasp the meaning behind the question, but he couldn’t figure out his intent. Eventually, he put down his spoon and placed his hands on his knees.

“Did… something happen?”

“Nothing happened.”

Then why is he bringing this up? Garam’s face crumpled into a frown. With his memories of the previous night hazy, he couldn’t make sense of Sa Muheon’s behavior. If the kiss he remembered was merely a figment of his imagination, the only thing he could think of was this:

“Is this about me going into your room?”

“You didn’t go in on your own.”

“Pardon?”

What was that supposed to mean? Garam’s eyes widened in confusion. Sa Muheon sighed as he looked at Garam.

“You didn’t go in there on your own. You clung to me even in your sleep and wouldn’t let go, so I had no choice but to bring you in.”

“Ah….”

Garam’s face flushed red in an instant. If he had walked into the room himself, it wouldn’t have been this embarrassing. Unable to meet Sa Muheon’s gaze, Garam averted his eyes. Above him, Sa Muheon chuckled softly.

“Well, that’s not a big deal.”

“…I’m sorry.”

“No, really, it’s fine.”

Although Sa Muheon reassured him once again, Garam didn’t feel fine at all.

It hadn’t been long since he realized his feelings for Sa Muheon. And yet, instead of showing him a good side, he had displayed a disgraceful version of himself, drunk and unable to control his body. The shame was unbearable. What must Sa Muheon have thought, seeing him like that? Garam’s face crumpled further as he bowed his head even lower.

“Well, maybe it’s better if you don’t remember.”

At Sa Muheon’s muttered words, Garam’s head shot up.

“What do you mean?”

His face, still on the verge of tears, gave away his desperation as he questioned Sa Muheon. Startled, Sa Muheon half-rose from his seat.

“Why…?”

“What did I do? What’s better if I don’t remember?”

Faced with Garam’s question, Sa Muheon closed his mouth tightly.

Watching him, Garam felt even more frustrated. In truth, he had something he wanted to ask. Was it a dream that he kissed Sa Muheon while drunk, or did it actually happen?

But what would happen after he asked that? If it wasn’t a dream but reality, how was he supposed to act afterward? Unsure of himself, Garam couldn’t bring himself to say anything at all.

Sa Muheon showed no sign of reopening his tightly shut lips. Silence fell over the dining table. Yet Garam couldn’t take his eyes off the man sitting across from him. Half of him hoped Sa Muheon would say something, while the other half wished he wouldn’t.

After a long moment of meeting Garam’s gaze, Sa Muheon slowly sat back down. Letting out a short sigh, he picked up his spoon.

“…Nothing happened. Just eat.”

“…….”

The only sounds at the table were the faint clinks of utensils. Garam couldn’t muster the will to argue with his words, and his hands moved automatically. The meal that had tasted so delicious just moments ago now felt like chewing on dry sand, devoid of any flavor.

The meal ended in silence, and Garam was the first to rise from the table. He could feel Sa Muheon looking up at him, but instead of meeting his gaze directly, Garam fixed his eyes somewhere near his chin and muttered under his breath.

“I’m not feeling well, so I’ll rest in the room.”

Had it been a weekday, he would have escaped to school as if fleeing, but unfortunately, today was the weekend. Even after hearing Garam’s excuse-like words, Sa Muheon didn’t show any particular reaction and simply nodded his head.

“If you feel unwell, tell me right away.”

“…Okay.”

Garam didn’t know whether to laugh or cry at the kindness Sa Muheon extended to him even until the very end. In the end, with an ambiguous expression that was neither a smile nor tears, Garam nodded and headed to his room as if running away. Sa Muheon’s gaze lingered on Garam’s retreating figure for a long time.

—

Click.

After closing the door to his room, Sa Muheon sighed as he looked at his now messy bedroom.

“Ha….”

To be honest, the mess in the room was nothing. Compared to the chaos in his mind, it was trivial.

Sa Muheon pulled up the blanket that had half-slipped onto the floor and neatly spread it out. He placed the pillow back in its original spot. His movements, though mechanical, were occasionally marked by a momentary hesitation. Still, Sa Muheon maintained an indifferent expression as he tidied up the room.

Once the room was restored to its original state, Sa Muheon looked around briefly before sitting down on the edge of the bed. The blanket, which someone else had been under until that morning, carried a familiar scent. It was soft and pleasant, just like its owner. The room still bore traces of that familiar presence. Considering that he had only ever allowed one other person into this space, there was no need to speculate whose traces they were.

This was the place where Sa Muheon felt most comfortable and at ease. The fact that someone else’s traces were left in this space should have made him uncomfortable. Yet instead of discomfort, he felt an entirely opposite emotion—or perhaps a sensation—that he couldn’t define.

That feeling, which had been lingering since last night, was leaving Sa Muheon deeply unsettled.

“…I must be crazy.”

Sa Muheon shut his eyes tightly and even pressed a hand over them. But the moment he closed his eyes, the memories etched in his mind only grew sharper.

The warmth of the hand that had cupped his cheek, the sparkling light brown eyes that had drawn close to him, and the soft sensation of lips that had touched his own.

Even when he kept his eyes open, those memories had been vividly floating in his mind. When he closed his eyes, they came to him in even clearer detail. Everything about that moment was so vivid. Even without trying to recall it, he could almost feel as if Garam were nestled in his arms at that very moment. Not just the touch of skin, but every detail of that moment felt indelibly etched into his soul.

And that made it all the more troubling.

It wasn’t as though their tongues had intertwined or anything so heated—it had been nothing more than a chaste, childlike kiss where their lips merely brushed. Yet every time he thought of that moment, Sa Muheon felt as though his mind were boiling over. It wasn’t anger from unwanted contact. If it were, there’d be no need for him to agonize like this.

Sa Muheon knew exactly what this was. It was unmistakable desire.

The mere memory of those soft lips brushing against his own was enough to send Sa Muheon into a state of arousal. It wasn’t just the moment of the kiss—simply recalling it, right now, made him feel the same way.

“…Ha.”

Realizing that even the thought of Garam’s soft lips was making his body react again, Sa Muheon let out a deep sigh.