Gender Reversed Geum Taeyang - Chapter 44

Chapter 44 – A Woman’s Heart is Like a Reed

Junhyeok has always been slow to pick up on things.

And I’d say I’m the one who’s suffered the most because of it.

While I didn’t care about other troublemakers, I didn’t want to create unnecessary conflicts with my friends, so even when his obliviousness annoyed me, I just endured it and let it slide.

I thought that since no one can be perfect, dealing with that level of annoyance was just part of friendship.

Still, last time it actually helped.

The character created in ‘Animal Village’ when Yuhan borrowed my Switch.

The nickname ‘Geum Taeyang’ and the male avatar he created based on himself.

Since I had to lend the Switch to Junhyeok again, that character barely appeared on stream and was forgotten…

When Junhyeok borrowed it saying he’d play something else, he ended up playing Animal Village and discovered that character.

I came up with an excuse after racking my brain, and it was convincing enough to fool Junhyeok, so it seemed to blow over.

But there’s a limit to being oblivious. And when awkward situations like this pile up, you start to notice things.

“Ari, did something happen to you recently? You seem different somehow…?”

It wasn’t an interrogating tone.

It seemed like he was just expressing something he vaguely felt.

“Me? In what way?”

Honestly, I knew too.

I wasn’t just a little different – I was becoming strange as a person.

I’m not sure exactly when it started, but I’m definitely becoming strange.

“Well… Your way of speaking? Behavior? Things like that…?”

Since I was young, I’ve often been told that my personality is somewhat rigid.

Since it wasn’t an uncomfortable kind of rigidity, I had many friends and they felt comfortable hanging out with me.

I rarely ever cursed. The times I’ve sworn during conversations with friends could be counted on one hand.

I’ve never once talked behind someone’s back.

If I thought of a joke that seemed to demean someone, I wouldn’t say it out loud.

Dirty jokes? I wouldn’t dare.

But lately, I’ve felt more comfortable when talking to others than before… Well, I’m not sure.

I knew I was becoming mentally strange, but I hadn’t thought about my speech and behavior. Was it influenced by my mental state?

“Am I very strange…?”

“Well, But… I like you better now!”

If Junhyeok likes it… I guess it’s okay…?

Other friends…

I wonder what Yuhan would think?

It’s not that I’m curious about another man’s reaction. I’m just curious about a friend’s reaction.

Probably… that’s what it is.

###

The day I went to visit Yuhan at his house.

After I ran… no, escaped home.

It was too hard to maintain my sanity.

Everything from start to finish was horrible.

Junhyeok suddenly saying he wanted to borrow the Switch.

Me lending it to him because I was afraid of causing strange misunderstandings when I could have just brushed it off.

Yuhan hurting his back at work because of me.

And I felt an inexplicable loneliness.

I went to see Yuhan but couldn’t even go past the entrance, while Sehee, the female student, was inside his house as if it was natural.

Her slightly disheveled clothes showed that she had been doing housework.

A sick man and a woman who came to help him.

Despite being so young, she was working hard to help a man.

Compared to my house, Yuhan’s cramped home seemed full of warmth.

A relationship close enough to be invited into a single man’s home.

Me, just standing outside the entrance, only able to watch that tight bond.

That day at the start of summer was unusually cold.

I still don’t know exactly what feeling I experienced.

Anyway, after that, every time I got involved with Yuhan, an inexplicable emptiness would wash over me.

Though it probably wasn’t the right way to handle it… I started avoiding Yuhan a little.

Maybe I didn’t want to acknowledge that inexplicable emotion.

That too.

Is something I don’t understand.

###

Friday evening of the following week.

I came to a bar near Korea University after being invited to drink with college classmates.

Taking breaks from streaming had become easier now, and viewers seemed to have adjusted to it somewhat.

Usually, I try to attend gatherings with friends whenever possible, but this drinking session was particularly welcome.

I wanted to let my mind go.

As the gathering went on for a while.

“It’s really hard to see your face these days, Ari.”

“Yeah, you’re like a celebrity, a celebrity.”

“Haha…. What the f*ck you saying… Even though I’m really busy these days, I came out today, didn’t I? I’m someone you can meet just by calling.”

“… What was that just now?”

“Wow… Damn, I never thought I’d live to hear Seol Ari curse. Look at my goosebumps…”

Ah, did I just curse? Maybe because I’ve had a lot to drink, I can’t remember exactly.

If it was the old me, I would have been really upset about the fact that I cursed, but…

Now I don’t think much of it.

What is this? I wasn’t this kind of person before.

Somehow, no negative feelings are arising.

Rather, I’m only thinking that it’s natural for a woman in her 20s to curse a little.

Come to think of it, even my sitting posture today was different from usual.

No, not just today, maybe I’ve been like this recently.

Maybe this is the change Junhyeok was talking about.

The line I considered important in my behavior has become distorted.

The changes in my mind have changed my behavior.

Habits built over a lifetime collapsed in an instant.

It seems like a situation where I should be alarmed…

But still, I don’t think much of it.

Rather, I feel joy.

Because it feels like that rigid line is being erased and I’m becoming like someone.

Someone with a swaying posture, using rough speech filled with warmth.

Because it feels like I’m becoming similar to a certain man.

“Hehehe… Well, I’m 23, I can curse a little.”

“But you never did before.”

“Hahaha! Hey, why has this kid changed so much! That robot-like girl.”

“What the heck do you mean by robot…”

“Do it again, do it again!”

“Yeah! You look much better this way.”

Well… It’s not like that man cursed a lot either.

“Enough. It’ll come out again someday.”

“Ah… no fun.”

Well, the frequency isn’t what’s important.

What’s important is the fact that I crossed a line.

What’s important is that I’ve gotten closer to that someone.

Hmm… the person floating in my mind since earlier.

I try to recall who it is, but the alcohol blocks it. Well, I’ll remember eventually.

I downed the full glass of alcohol in one go.

I’ve now reached my usual limit.

Any more would affect my daily life.

But I poured another glass.

With this, I’ve crossed the line I set for myself.

But still.

I was just happy.

.

.

.

And more time passed.

Not completely drunk, but quite intoxicated.

My vision isn’t focusing properly.

So this is what it feels like to be properly drunk.

I’m feeling a joy I’ve never felt before at a drinking gathering.

In the midst of this, two men approach our table.

“Senior? Hello, senior!”

Two people greeting two of my friends.

There shouldn’t be anyone I don’t know in our department, but since I don’t remember seeing these faces, they must be this year’s freshmen.

“This person is…”

“Wow… now there are kids at Korea University Business who don’t know Seol Ari.”

“Ah! So this is that senior?! I’ve heard about you!”

“Wow… You’re really pretty…”

“Since we’ve met today, shall we join tables?! To also greet Senior Ari!”

…?

What’s this. Why are they deciding things on their own?

My two friends are clearing space, happy that men have arrived.

What’s so good about such pathetic-looking guys?

Heavily decorated clothes, faces plastered with cosmetics.

A certain man in my memory had incredible looks without any of that stuff.

Their appearance doesn’t stir any emotion in me.

“Gaeun, move over a bit. Let the kids sit there.”

A rectangular table with long benches on both sides.

Sent the two men to the opposite side from me.

Usually, I would have been happy to build relationships with juniors, but.

Somehow, the thought of another man sitting on the bench where I am makes me feel really bad.

The juniors look slightly bewildered.

What can I do about it. There’s no reason for me to let men I’ve never met sit next to me. Junior or whatever.

“Senior Ari, your glass is empty, let me pour for you!”

“Huh?”

Then he pours soju into the glass in front of me.

Hmm. What is this feeling?

An inexplicable unpleasantness rises.

I was planning to drink more, but somehow I don’t want to touch the glass.

“Ah… Sorry, I’ve had too much to drink, so I should stop.”

I slightly pushed the glass aside and picked up some food instead.

The overall mood of the drinking session became livelier with the men joining in.

No, it looked livelier.

Checking my phone shows it’s 9 PM.

Early twenties, and especially college students who sacrificed their school life to enter Korea University’s Business Department.

For them who are dying to have fun, 9 PM is still too early to part ways.

Looking ahead, indeed. They’re already playing as if a new drinking session has started.

I’m bored.

There are more people now, but I just feel annoyed for no reason.

I don’t want to ruin the mood so I’m playing along appropriately… but my mind is already elsewhere.

Buzz- Buzz-

“Hey! …Ari!”

“…?”

“Seol Ari! Your phone keeps ringing. Are you really drunk?”

“… What?”

“It says ‘Yuhan’? It’s the first time I’ve seen you save someone by their name. Is he your boyfriend?”

My mind snaps to attention.

It feels like I’ve sobered up from the alcohol.

Looking at my phone, that man I’ve been thinking about since earlier…

Yes, KakaoTalk messages are coming from Yuhan.

Why do I get happy just seeing his name even though I’ve been avoiding him every day?

Usually, depressing thoughts would have flooded in, but the drunk mind scrambles everything.

An inexplicable heart flutter.

A heart flutter that occurs just from seeing his name.

The emotions I feel every time I see Yuhan are becoming clearer.

Though I’ll avoid those emotions again today because I don’t have the courage to draw conclusions.

It feels like a moment will come soon when I can’t avoid it anymore.

It feels like a moment will come soon when I have to acknowledge all these emotions.

My head is in chaos.

Anyway, what’s important right now is Yuhan’s KakaoTalk message.

“I, I’ll be right back!”

“Come on, you can just check KakaoTalk here…”

“She’s just leaving?”

“What’s with her, I’ve never seen her act like this before.”

The two juniors seemed quite bewildered, but as I said earlier, that’s none of my business.

[Yuhan]
-Ari

-Do you know about clothes?

-Can you help me this weekend?

[Me]
-Yye Yuhanda

-Oh Yuhan

-Wwhat do you need help with?

[Yuhan]
-lolol what’s this

-lol Ari, are you drunk?

The corners of my mouth rise involuntarily.

Yuhan is really amazing, how does he even accurately guess my condition.

For some reason, I’m happy that Yuhan recognized my state.

[Me]
-A little with friends ㅎㅎ

-With girls.

[Yuhan]
-I’m not interrupting, am I?

[Me]
-nnnnnn

-noo

-no

-it was ending anywayz im fien

-fine

There’s no way that could be the case.

Though my messages are full of typos and missing periods, there’s no time to care about that.

[Yuhan]
-lololol

-The typos are so cute lol

-I need to buy some clothes

-I don’t know much about that stuff

-(photo)

-This is all my clothes

-ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ*¹

-Anyway, I was wondering if you could help

-You’re my only friend

The shocking statement makes my eyes widen.

That I’m his only friend.

The gloomy smile Yuhan usually wears appears on my face.

Because it seems like I’m somewhat special to Yuhan too. Because that’s so thrilling.

And that photo below… damn.

It’s a photo of Yuhan’s clothes piled up, but that’s… underwear, isn’t it?

I covered my phone and went into a nearby alley.

Because I hope no one sees this photo, even by accident.

Because I want it to remain a photo that only I can see.

A single piece of underwear with no special color like Yuhan’s clothes shakes my mind.

Again, why is this boy so careless…

Though I was worried, I was happy that he was comfortable enough to be careless with me at least.

After appreciating that photo with excited eyes, I came to my senses and replied to Yuhan.

[Me]
-Any time on the weekend is fine.

-Just tell me whatever time you want.

[Yuhan]
-Oh then is Sunday okay too?

[Me]
-Absolutely fine.

I turned off my phone after setting the time with Yuhan.

I returned to my seat with a beaming smile.

“Sorry guys, but I think I need to go right now.”

“What?!”

“Hey, did something happen?”

“Yeah. Something urgent came up. Sorry, I’ll contact you again later. And you guys drink moderately and get home safely too.”

It’s not really urgent, but what does it matter.

I gathered my things after telling the juniors to be careful.

Now that I’m in a good mood, suddenly those juniors don’t look bad either.

I hailed a passing taxi and opened KakaoTalk.

[Me]
-Jihun.

-Are you free on Sunday?
Though
-Can you help my friend?

-I’ll grant you one favor in return.

I don’t want to include my brother while meeting Yuhan.

Helping Yuhan needs to be handled perfectly.

(End of chapter)

P.s. 1. These ‘lols’ I am typing are translated versions of ‘ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ’ (phonetic: kekeke). Although these much ‘lol’ in chat may seem cringe to some, it’s not the case in Korean chatting.