Gender Reversed Geum Taeyang - Chapter 52
Chapter 52 – Going Mad
I know it’s strange.
Anonymously harassing a friend.
Getting an abnormal pleasure from that act.
And watching that friend’s disgusted expression while reading those chats.
Moving my hand inside my pants.
I was someone who had an abnormally low sex drive.
Not just compared to other women, but compared to men too. It was definitely not at a normal level.
In fact, I think this strange lack of sex drive influenced why I never had major fights with my boyfriend, Junhyuk. He wasn’t someone who liked physical intimacy much either.
But everything changed a few weeks ago.
It started as a simple deviation. A chat I threw while watching Yuhan’s stream, caught up in the atmosphere. A chat with sexual content.
It was really nothing special, but that deviation combined with Yuhan’s instinct-stimulating atmosphere gave me an intense pleasure.
After that, my sex drive started increasing rapidly.
Since I wasn’t completely ignorant about sex, if it was just that, I could have managed it somehow.
But no matter what I did, that desire wouldn’t disappear. Wouldn’t be satisfied.
There was only one time when I perfectly relieved it. After Yuhan stayed overnight at my place. When I pleasured myself thinking of Yuhan.
After that, I just kept holding back.
Because I was ashamed of doing such things while thinking of Yuhan.
Because I felt if I did something like that again, I wouldn’t be able to treat Yuhan normally.
Of course, sexually harassing through chat was objectively crazy too… but I thought it was okay to make somewhat mischievous comments between ‘friends.’
But now I’m clearly crossing a line.
The final line I set for myself.
If I keep moving my hand like this, if I pleasure myself thinking about Yuhan again, I wasn’t confident I could go back to how things were before.
I wasn’t confident I could escape this addiction.
[Ari… sto-nim? No, Ari-nim, are you really crazy?]
-This is no joke lol
-That bitch’s a crazy legend
On screen, there’s a man in a black dress shirt, a man with an unfamiliar hairstyle. Emanating a decadent charm.
Along with him, calling my nickname… no, my name with a contemptuous expression.
That superior man is reading each of my vulgar chats one by one.
I should feel embarrassed, but there’s no time for that.
An anonymous alt account.
I felt like someday Yuhan would discover that I was the owner of this account. That thought briefly crossed my mind.
And such thrilling imagination started turning into an unbearable urge again.
Maybe I was already broken long ago, final line or not.
I’m not sure.
Though I vaguely felt something was going terribly wrong.
I just decided to give in to the excitement and pleasure.
I didn’t want to think anymore.
I moved my hand again.
My hand didn’t stop until morning.*¹
###
It’s been about a week already? I can’t remember.
That day when my search history was discovered… just thinking about it gives me PTSD… Well… I don’t want to remember it.
Back then, I didn’t seriously plan to start NewTube.
I hadn’t even finished market research properly, and managing the increasing viewers was the urgent priority.
Of course, not much time has passed, but my thoughts have changed a bit.
The viewer count that stayed around 800 back then has now started exceeding 1,000.
It even hit 1,200 a few days ago.
Amazing growth rate.
Although I’m not the type of male streamer who mindlessly shows skin, there must be quite a few people who come for my face, and that unintentionally achieved proof of being single… seems to have worked better than imagined.
It’s true though.
Even viewers who regularly watch male streamers would find it hard to shake off the thought that handsome male streamers must have pretty girlfriends.
Even if they don’t actually have one, there’s no way to prove it either.
But then a streamer who no one expected anything from.
Provided definitive proof.
In a way no one else could imitate, by breaking their waist.
It’s quite ironic that my tragedy became the key to popularity…
But since things are working out well in the end, I can’t really complain…
Anyway, viewer influx is actively happening. Plus, my broadcast management skills are improving day by day.
Even if it seems fickle for my thoughts to change so quickly, I think it’s time to start NewTube now.
Hmm. NewTube. Uh… what should I do?
Unlike usual, trying to start something without a plan feels overwhelming.
Hmm.
Well, at times like this.
[Seol Ari]
(Connecting call)
Ariemon*², help me!
###
9 AM.
It must be quite early for Ari who streams in the evening.
But since I woke up early today for some reason…
This connecting tone somehow feels like it’s pricking my conscience.
Well… but hey, this kind of thing can happen between friends!
After waiting a moment with that uneasy feeling, Ari’s voice started flowing from the speaker.
“Hnng… Yu, Yuhan?”
Huh.
What’s this about?
A voice heavy with fatigue?
I’m not sure, but Ari’s slightly hoarse and cracked voice doesn’t sound too good.
It’s giving tension to my dulled conscience.
Damn. Maybe I should have waited a bit longer to call?
“Um… Ari? Are you okay?”
“Haah… I’m fiiine… What’s up…?”
“No, I wanted to get some advice about NewTube… but are you really okay? You sound sick?”
“Hng! Re.. really, I’m fine!”
You don’t look fine at all.
You were never good at lying but to this extent…
Calling early doesn’t seem to have been a bad thing.
The continuous moaning sounds.
Splash splash… no, squelch squelch? A faint water sound. Seems like using a wet towel or something*³.
My excellent electronic brain paints the whole situation.
Ari suddenly caught a cold during the seasonal change.
Though trying hard to stream yesterday while enduring the pain, condition rapidly worsened.
Even after putting a wet towel on the head, the continuing pain keeps them up all night.
Then morning comes and receiving my call, Ari lies again saying they’re fine, not wanting to be a burden.
Hmm. Seol Ari, such tactics won’t work.
Aren’t you underestimating my intuition built up at Nodagapan*⁴ too much!
“Seol Ari, why do you always lie to me?”
“Huh?! No, it’s not a lie…”
“How sick are you to keep making moaning sounds… Is no one there with you? Not even your boyfriend?”
“It’s not because I’m sick… Hnng! My boyfriend isn’t here…”
Given Ari’s personality, she probably hid being sick from her boyfriend too… but shouldn’t he at least know his girlfriend’s condition?
It’s funny for a single person like me to say this but still…!
Dating someone like Ari but fighting over trivial things, not even knowing how much attention she needs.
It’s just someone else’s relationship, but I can’t help having preconceptions.
“Just wait there. I’ll help you.”
I know well how miserable it feels to be sick alone, since I’ve experienced it myself.
“Huh? What do you mean… help?”
“Just wait a bit. I’m coming over right now.”
“@#%!!”
Seems like she was trying to say something… if it was important, she’ll call back.
But she was probably just going to say she’s fine anyway.
I rushed out of the house, quickly grabbing only what I needed.
I can’t just leave my girlfriend… no, my friend suffering.
###
At first I wondered why there was a phone call in the middle of the night.
I vaguely felt the room getting a bit brighter, but I didn’t realize morning had already come.
Looking around, an incredible visual scene enters my eyes.
The completely soaked bed and blanket, carelessly thrown pajama pants.
Two sets of clothes in my hand. The ones worn by Yuhan when he stayed over at my place…
I’m crazy. Really.
Should I look for a psychiatrist?
It’s crazy enough to spend the night imagining my ‘friend’, but to do such things even while on the phone with him…
Far from being embarrassed about doing such things during the call, I got more excited and moved my hand.
At this point, I can’t even argue if someone called it indirect sexual harassment.
And when did I even bring these clothes here?
I felt my self-control weakening, but I didn’t expect it to come to this.
If Yuhan hadn’t said he was coming to my place, I probably would have continued doing that for quite a while after the call ended.
An unprecedented level of self-loathing washes over me.
I lay on the damp bed covering my eyes with both hands for a while.
Thinking about my obscene state makes my mind even more confused.
No… I need to get my act together.
Yuhan said he’s coming, right?
Disheveled hair and wet lower body, body giving off strange smells.
It would be insane to greet Yuhan in this state.
My house has unnecessarily good location so he can arrive quite quickly even by public transport.
There’s no time to clean the room.
I rushed into the bathroom and tried to wash as quickly as possible, but due to my terrible physical state it ended up taking longer and.
-Thump thump thump
“Seol Ari! Open the door!”
Without even properly drying my hair.
I went to greet Yuhan.
(End of chapter)
T.N. 1. Crazy stamina
2. Doraemon
3. Nope
4. “노다가판” (nodagapan). “노다” (noda, meaning “to play/hang out”) and “가판” (gapan, which can refer to a shop/establishment). Here it’s being used in a way that suggests a place or environment where people socialize and become attuned to reading others’ behaviors and emotions. Simple English – ‘social settings’