Gender Reversed Geum Taeyang - Chapter 58

Chapter 58 – The Quarrel

“Wow… so you call them ‘Mother’ and ‘Father’? They must be quite strict about titles?”

“Oh, only you call them that?”

“Still, isn’t that too formal for family…?”

“Well, I wouldn’t know since I don’t have any. Ahaha!”

Hmm. Back then, that is… the night I heard Yuhan’s secret. Well, he didn’t seem to think of it as a secret.

I just couldn’t handle the joke Yuhan made then. Saying he wouldn’t know because he doesn’t have any.

Actually, even maintaining a normal conversation was quite challenging for me.

Of course… lying together with Yuhan on the floor bedding was difficult too.

Talking about my family to someone who grew up in an orphanage somehow made me feel guilty.

I know it’s rather discourteous to think that way. I know it’s worse to treat it as something difficult.

I’m not someone who has strange prejudices about people without families; rather, I’m someone who dislikes such prejudices. But since this was my first time experiencing such a situation…

Anyway, my conversation with Yuhan planted a new concern in my mind.

About whether it’s okay to keep using formal titles when both parents say they dislike it.

About whether being casual would make them happy but might be considered disrespectful.

The elevator doors opened. I can see the door to our house, my family home.

Honestly, I still don’t know. Even more so because many of the boundaries I had set for myself have crumbled since meeting Yuhan.

But didn’t Yuhan say that if you’re unsure, just go for it and think about it later?

A solution completely opposite to my usual personality.

But somehow, the fact that it was Yuhan’s suggested solution made it feel less negative. I rather liked that I was becoming more like Yuhan.

I opened the door and entered the house.

Since I’m unsure.

I’ll just go for it and think about it later.

###

“Sis… have you been having a hard time lately?”

“Are the malicious comments getting too severe…?”

“Ari, wouldn’t it be good to come home more often and rest?”

In order, Seol Jihun, D…ad, and Mom…

Only silence lingers at the dining table.

Was I wrong to be brave? Their reactions are concerning.

My face feels hot.

“But… you told me to call you that…”

“Of course we prefer it that way, but we didn’t expect you to actually do it with your personality.”

“Sis, are you really okay? You’ve always been so serious calling them ‘Mother’ and ‘Father.'”

“Seol Jihun… I’ll deal with you later.”

I really don’t like those reactions.

But if you ask whether I regret this embarrassing action, that’s absolutely not the case.

There’s no room for such thoughts when I can already see my parents’ expressions brightening.

After their initial surprise, both of them wore expressions of great happiness. As for Seol Jihun… he still has that look of seeing something strange.

“Right, family should be comfortable like this. What made you change your mind?”

D…ad’s question. As for the answer.

Well…

I should say it was a friend…

Somehow, that title feels depressing.

“A friend… A friend gave me some advice.”

“A friend? Jihye? Or Eunji?”

“Our daughter has at least one good friend.”

“… It’s a new friend named Yuhan.”

A moment of silence.

“That’s quite a masculine name? A college friend?”

“I told you Yuhan hyung is deeper than he looks!”

“…?”

Overlapping words, followed by another moment of silence.

“Jihun? How do you know that person…?”

“Huh? We went clothes shopping together last time with sis and hyung? That hyung has no eye for clothes, so I had to help out!”

My parents shoot me suspicious glances.

A negative feeling instantly engulfs me.

It’s not that I feel bad about my parents giving such looks.

Just.

Just, it seems to highlight the relationship between Yuhan and me.

Too close to be friends but not lovers. It seems to emphasize that ambiguity.

I know it’s wrong to have interest in another man while in a relationship, even if just a little.

I haven’t forgotten that I’m dating Junhyuk.

I also understand that Yuhan and I are just friends.

An inexplicable sense of disparity arises.

Bad thoughts surface.

Thoughts I had been deliberately ignoring come up.

When was the last time I saw Junhyuk?

When was the last time I felt butterflies for Junhyuk?

What has Junhyuk done for me all this time?

Have I had any positive feelings about Junhyuk lately?

I stuff these leaking thoughts back in.

I don’t want to see where those thoughts lead. I don’t want to see the conclusion.

“Well, there’s probably nothing to worry about anyway. But it might not look good to be too close with another man.”

“Right, Junhyuk might misunderstand. But they’re probably not that close for us to worry about, right?”

Words won’t come out.

What kind of relationship should I say Yuhan and I have?

Can it be called just a friendship? Should I acknowledge that with my own mouth?

“Come on. What do you take Yuhan hyung for? He’s definitely not that kind of person.”

Jihun’s words hit home.

Jihun’s storm-like defense begins.

How good his personality is, how deep his thoughts are, how great his social skills are, and so on.

The suspicion on my parents’ faces has somehow transformed into curiosity and favorability.

My mood brightens again as well.

Because Yuhan is making a positive impression on our family.

Because it seems my parents are taking a liking to Yuhan.

Because it seems everyone is becoming familiar with the existence of Seong Yuhan.

Because Yuhan.

Seems to be seeping into our family.

###

While lying in my room after dinner, I received a phone call.

[Lee Junhyuk]

The name is saved formally, but I have no intention of changing it.

I already changed it from ‘Jun-hyukie,’*¹
and I just don’t feel like it anyway.

“What is it? Why did you call?”

“I thought you’d be all better by now! Um… why does your voice sound like that? Is there still a problem?”

Actually, I was never sick, but somehow my voice lacks spirit.

Maybe I’m just very tired.

Or maybe I’ve lost feelings because he cut contact when I said I was sick but is only calling now.

“No. I’m just tired. What’s up?”

“Ah! Sunday is your day off, right? Let’s go somewhere together next Sunday! I heard from a friend…”

His timing really is terrible. It’s exactly the day I’m supposed to film content with Yuhan.

There’s nothing to think about.

“I have prior plans that day, so I can’t.”

“… But it’s been so long since we met. Couldn’t you maybe postpone your plans…”

“How can I do that when it’s already set?”

“It can’t be that important!”

“It’s plenty important.”

As I continue the conversation with no energy, Junhyuk’s voice stops coming through.

After a moment.

“Hey. Do you hate me that much?”

What is he saying now? Why is he suddenly becoming aggressive?

Even before, it was really tiring whenever Lee Junhyuk would occasionally act like this, and he’s still the same.

“What are you…”

“Do you even know how long it’s been since we met?”

“That’s…”

“You’ve been saying you’re busy all this time. You seemed like you were going to make time for me before, but now we’re back to square one? Is it that hard to see your boyfriend when he wants to meet briefly?!”

Irritation wells up. When did he ever say he wanted to meet briefly?

Well, it has been about two weeks since we last met, so it is long if you think about it.

But initially, he deliberately didn’t visit for about a week after that when he heard I was sick.

Isn’t his logic strange?

“When I was sick, you…”

“Your attitude too. Earlier you cut me off while I was talking, and now you keep talking like I’m bothersome. You think I can’t tell? You weren’t like this before, why suddenly now? Are you tired of me?”

“No, what! …Haah…”

“You said you’d spend more time with me but we can’t even meet! You keep saying you can’t!”

My brows furrow.

What is this about?

He was always someone whose emotions I couldn’t easily understand, but today seems particularly bad.

Is this appropriate behavior just because we haven’t seen each other for a while?

He had this tendency a bit even when we were friends, but what is this selective obsession about?

In any case, obsession is completely unwelcome to me.

“Ha… shit…”

I don’t think I ever used even the word ‘shit’ before, let alone curse words, but now it somehow feels familiar.

“Ha. What, is my anger so unpleasant that you have to curse?”

“No, what curse did I…”

“Forget it. Hang up!”

Ha.

My ears are ringing.

Stress rises up.

Why do I have to live like this?

Is this what dating is usually like?

Then will I have to deal with this 24 hours a day after marriage?

I threw my phone on the floor and pulled the blanket up to my head.

While slowly trying to cool down my anger, a vibration sounds from far away.

What else does he have to say to act like this?

I walked over briskly and picked up the phone.

But this time the caller was different.

Three characters spelling [Yuhan] in the name field.

Damn. Too late.

“He-hello!”

“Ah… Ari, is it okay to call for a moment right now?”

His unique way of speaking that sounds fierce but feels gentle.

Just hearing it makes me feel at ease.

“Yeah! Totally fine! What’s up?”

“No, it’s nothing much, just wanted to check again if next Sunday really works for you. If you’re busy, we can totally change the date”

What funny timing.

What funny content.

How can two men be so different?

Why does my boyfriend act like that?

How happy will the person who ends up with Yuhan be…

Though the brief call with Yuhan ended quickly.

For some reason, I couldn’t easily fall asleep that night.

(End of chapter)

T.N. 1. “Jun-hyukie” (준혁이) is a more intimate form of addressing.