Gender Reversed Geum Taeyang - Chapter 71

Chapter 71 – One-Sided Love

Should I say my body is sensitive? Or is it my mind that’s sensitive? Is this even the right way to express it?

I’m not sure. Actually, it doesn’t matter.

Being with someone doesn’t mean you have to keep talking.

Sometimes, just sitting together in silence can be enjoyable.

This was exactly such a moment for us, and Yuhan and I had been sitting quietly on the bench in front of the carousel for a while now.

Yuhan looks comfortable. He’s watching the carousel with interested eyes.

He seems to find it quite entertaining to leisurely watch the carousel turn.

I…

I thought that once I honestly accepted these feelings, I could maintain a more stable state of mind. Even if some self-loathing remained.

That way, I could explain the bewildering feelings caused by Yuhan’s careless actions.

If I knew the cause, I could better handle such confusing emotions.

Hmm. To get straight to the point, it was a completely wrong prediction.

The symptoms actually got worse than before.

Just our arms touching, just seeing the vest Yuhan returned to me earlier, just thinking about Yuhan being next to me.

My face feels like it’s turning red, and my heart seems to be beating violently. So much that I worry the sound might be audible.

These feelings won’t last forever. It might take a few days, but eventually, they’ll calm down somewhat.

The problem is, that moment of calm isn’t now, at least.

I want to hear Yuhan’s voice, but I hope he doesn’t speak to me.

It’s a strange thing to say. I know that.

Even so, if I start talking with Yuhan now, I feel like I won’t be able to control these feelings.

Throughout my school years, I’d never liked anyone.

Even my feelings for Lee Junhyuk only developed after we started dating.

I had never felt this tingling sensation before. I had never been so conscious of my words and actions.

It was the first time I felt short of breath just wondering whether to speak or not.

I had never dealt with such emotions before.

I…

I had never experienced one-sided love before.

###

Well… there’s that thing, you know.

Not everyone living a normal life comes to an amusement park. Not everyone necessarily comes to places like this with their parents.

But such scenes often appear in media.

A young child at an amusement park with their parents, a young child riding the carousel with their parents.

Hmm.

Hmm…

Obviously, I don’t have such experiences.

When I was young, I sometimes felt envious seeing such scenes.

So.

The reason I’m excited about seeing the carousel…

It’s absolutely not just because it looks fun.

It’s absolutely not just because it looks fun.

I said it twice because it’s important.

Something in my heart, having grown up as an orphan… like, compensation for a gloomy life… something like that.

It’s definitely not because at this age I find it entertaining to observe. Anyway, that’s how it is.

Damn. My male pride and human curiosity are at war.

Just then.

“Last carousel ride of the day! Due to Everworld’s approaching closing time, this will be the last chance to ride the carousel today!”

The voice of the staff managing the carousel rang out.

I jumped up suddenly, making Ari flinch dramatically. Was she that surprised?

Hmph. Anyway. What’s there to be embarrassed about?

Can’t a modest man living in this reversed world want to ride an emotional attraction once in a while?!

Even though there aren’t many people walking around as closing time approaches, and no one is lined up for the carousel.

That’s not why I’m doing this, not for such petty reasons. Anyway, that’s how it is.

I started leading Ari forward, holding her wrist.

Why is her body so hot? Though she doesn’t look sick.

“Yu, Yu, Yuhan?!”

“Let’s ride that just once, Ari.”

Damn.

Somehow it feels like a shameful request.

My face is hot.

###

It’s a mess. I feel my thinking ability deteriorating in real-time.

I walked through the empty carousel line with Yuhan holding my hand.

Yuhan’s face, lit by the carousel’s bright lights, seemed quite red, but that’s not important.

I’m just glad I’m behind Yuhan. I can roughly guess what state my face must be in just from this heat.

I absolutely don’t want him to notice. I don’t know why, but that’s how it is.

“Ah! Two people?”

“Yes, yes! Two people!”

Yuhan showed the entry tickets to the staff while saying something funny.

Just when I feel my tension easing, seeing his tanned skin gripping my wrist makes my body stiffen again.

As we crossed the entrance, the staff who checked our tickets looked at me and clenched both fists. Like a pose meant to encourage me.

I don’t know why. There’s no time to think about that.

The amusement park with almost everyone gone, the carousel empty except for us.

Looking around as we take our places with Yuhan, I roughly sense my situation.

Am I supposed to ride this attraction alone with Yuhan in this situation?

This seems bad. No, it is bad.

Can I endure this? In this mental state? I have absolutely no confidence in that.

“Yu, Yuhan, this…”

“Do you want to take the outer one? I’ll take the inner one.”

“Uh, okay?”

The redness that had been on Yuhan’s face was gone now, replaced only by an excited expression.

The distinctive expression Yuhan made every time we rode a new attraction today.

… This wasn’t the time to hesitate.

No matter how difficult, I want to leave only good memories for Yuhan.

With trembling hands, I mounted the horse.

What we… no, what Yuhan chose was a single-rider horse model.

Looking ahead, there were pumpkin carriage models that could fit two people, but Yuhan apparently hadn’t noticed those.

And so. While waiting for the ride to start with slightly disappointed feelings.

Hmm.

A great catastrophe occurred.

###

No, I thought there would be seats for two people, but what is this.

As I sat alone on the horse holding the pole in front, my excited mood started to sink.

So well.

I asked Ari to move forward a bit, and climbed up behind her.

The posture is a bit awkward, but isn’t it better to ride together in one place than play separately as friends?

Actually, it seemed problematic for two adults to sit on what was clearly a single-seater horse model, so I checked the staff’s reaction…

Well. The staff kept awkwardly winking at me.

While receiving a wink from a man might be considered an unfortunate disaster, even I understand that wink was the staff’s tacit permission.

Anyway. I looked at Ari, who was sitting stiffly in front of me.

When I tried to grab the safety pole, it put me in a position like I was hugging Ari, but well, what can you do.

“It’s no fun riding alone. Not too uncomfortable, right?”

“…!”

Hmm. I’m not sure what she’s saying. Probably means it’s fine?

###

The knight on a white horse stories I read as a child weren’t like this.

Surely. It was mostly about gallant and bold knights rescuing princes, but this…

Where did it go wrong?

No, saying it went wrong might be a slightly strange expression.

Hmm. Or is it not? Is it an accurate expression?

My whole body is surrounded by Yuhan.

Yuhan leaned towards me to reach for the pole, and so I ended up completely pressed against him.

I made eye contact with the staff, but they quickly pretended not to notice and started the machine.

No escape route was left for me.

My heart is pounding like crazy.

It feels like my body temperature is rising vertically.

Hot breath trembles as it escapes.

Even though I’m wearing a vest, it’s basically a thin dress shirt.

And because I reduced it again, it became form-fitting.

Yuhan’s clothes were similar.

A tight-fitting thin dress shirt and thin school pants.

The clothes aren’t managing to block what’s between us.

Yuhan’s firm chest, abs, arms, legs. I can vividly feel his entire body.

Moreover, through my bottom… I can even feel something protruding…

I tried to adjust my posture slightly, but my bottom brushing against Yuhan’s… that… only made my mind more broken.

It feels like being embraced naked.

Unbearable sensations rush in.

Worried that Yuhan behind me might be uncomfortable, I tried my best to maintain my sanity and moved my tied-back hair to the front of my neck again.

Feeling Yuhan’s warm breath flowing around my neck, I think it wasn’t a good choice after all.

I’m going crazy.

I feel like I’m going to go crazy, but from behind comes a peaceful voice.

“… This is nice.”

It was Yuhan’s words.

The horse moves at a speed that couldn’t really be called fast.

The cool evening summer breeze brushes my face.

Yuhan seems to be purely enjoying this situation.

I feel pathetic.

It’s so pathetic to feel pleasure while rubbing against someone who maintains such purity.

Nevertheless, I couldn’t keep my senses.

With all my nerves focused on my body.

Continuously.

I could only keep receiving Yuhan’s warmth.

(End of Chapter)