Gender Reversed Geum Taeyang - Chapter 80

Chapter 80 – Such a Beautiful Day

It was the best morning. Though it wasn’t the first time I greeted the morning with Yuhan, we did the same just yesterday.

Today, somehow everything felt special.

I’m not exactly sure why. Maybe it’s because today is a streaming break day. Well, it’s not important.

Anyway, Yuhan told me to wait in bed until the food was ready… but I didn’t feel like doing that.

Normally, I wouldn’t have let Yuhan struggle alone anyway, but today was a bit different.

Not many words were exchanged. Yuhan was focused on cooking, and I didn’t feel the need to speak during this pleasant moment.

While I was setting the table and placing the dishes, I heard a surprised voice from behind.

“Oh, crazy!”

When I turned around asking what’s wrong, there were two perfectly formed egg yolks in the frying pan Yuhan was holding.

Yuhan showed it to me with a happy expression.

Such a trivial thing compared to that surprised voice.

But a smile naturally forms on my lips. My heart is filled with happiness more than any other moment.

Do I deserve to be this happy? Yesterday’s events come to mind.

As soon as I heard Yuhan would do a cosplay stream, I naturally thought of my TwitchyTV sub-account ‘Aristo235’.

During the broadcast… I lied about having work to catch up on and used my laptop from home to enter Yuhan’s stream and send all sorts of chat messages.

The desire that had been quiet for a while surged up again.

Now Yuhan definitely knows about my sub-account.

It was crazy to do such things in the first place, regardless of whether Yuhan found out or not.

To think I got so excited by myself in front of Yuhan that I made the chair wet.

Is it okay for someone who can’t even control their basic sexual urges to be enjoying themselves here?

Self-loathing floods in as much as happiness.

Yuhan went to get his phone saying we should take a picture of this, and naturally, I ended up managing the frying pan.

I pushed back the negative thoughts. If I manage it well, no one needs to find out. It’s something I can gradually control.

Looking down, I can see the eggs slowly cooking.

Come to think of it, this is my first time cooking with someone.

When I lived at home, I hadn’t started cooking yet, and after I started living alone, I always cooked by myself.

Well, Lee Junhyuk came to our house quite often, but he just sat at the table waiting while I cooked.

Yuhan soon returned with his phone.

An old phone from years ago. The camera quality is expectedly poor with its outdated specs.

But we took pictures of that small stroke of luck together and grinned broadly.

Despite the poor conditions, it wasn’t a problem for us.

Happiness doesn’t seem to be that far away after all.

###

A few days ago, when I first came to Yuhan’s house, we made several rules.

One of them was to take turns using the bed each day.

Another was to take turns doing the dishes.

While I’m washing the dishes, Yuhan sits at the table behind me and talks to me.

I hear his chattering voice along with the music he played.

The song is a new age piece that’s hard to call well-made.

Of course, the quality of the song doesn’t matter. I’m not someone who cares about that sort of thing anyway, and I like the peaceful atmosphere of that piece.

Yuhan seems to like these kinds of songs too. How many people would believe that someone who looks like that would have such music taste?

Whatever the case, the fact that we even share musical taste makes me bubble with joy.

Given how well we match, I wonder why I was so sensitive at first. I’ll always regret how I handled our first meeting.

Making strange misunderstandings on my own. Those were pathetic times.

While I’m briefly reminiscing about the past, Yuhan walks behind me.

“Oh, Yuhan? What’s up?”

“Stay still for a moment. Let me give you a massage.”

“Eh, eh?!”

No, I wasn’t expecting this.

Yuhan’s hands touch my shoulders.

“Hnngh…!”

“Isn’t it good? The orphanage director loved it when I did this last time.”

“Hnng… it’s, it’s good.”

“Hehe. I’m glad.”

The sensation of Yuhan’s fingertips feels sensitive.

Damn. Why was a woman’s body designed like this? No, is it because I’ve been living without releasing my sexual desires? Or is it because of what I did during Yuhan’s stream yesterday?

My body gets easily excited even from such simple things. I feel like I might have to change my underwear again like yesterday.

My mind feels hazy.

Along with the pleasure, happiness also floods in.

My lips naturally curl up and my face relaxes into what must be a foolish expression. I hope it doesn’t look strange… but it should be fine between us…right?

Why am I so happy today?

Why am I only feeling these emotions now? If I had known it would be like this, I should have broken up with that man as soon as possible.

No, it would have been best if I hadn’t dated him in the first place.

I want to approach more actively, but the fact that I was someone’s lover weighs on my mind.

I never knew I would regret having dated someone this much.

But well. I think there’s no need to just stay like this.

It’s something I can approach slowly while enjoying the present.

Still the same peaceful day as before.

What should I say about today.

As I’ve been saying all along.

It really is a happy day.

###

Today I need to go out for something related to streaming.

Since I decided to stream early while staying at Yuhan’s house, today is naturally a break day with appointments around lunch time.

After finishing the dishes, I thought while showering.

How long will this living together continue?

This morning, a message came from… Mom.

Saying she heard the news, and that she trusts me and respects my choices so I should live as I want as long as it’s not problematic behavior.

Setting aside the grateful content, what’s important now is how that information reached Mom.

Though I mentioned it on stream, my family doesn’t watch my broadcasts.

There’s no way they would have heard news about an internet streamer’s breakup through other media.

It probably leaked from Junhyuk’s side. He probably called Jihun.

The fact that Junhyuk told someone this information means, thinking about it again, that he’s probably not still in front of my house.

Which means I no longer have a reason to stay at Yuhan’s house.

Still-cold water drops from the shower head.

I don’t want to go back. I don’t need good facilities or a comfortable bed, I just want to stay here.

I know it’s greedy, and I know it’s impossible anyway. Just, just thinking about it alone.

After the shower, Yuhan came to dry my hair.

Like when we were cooking earlier, words weren’t exchanged, but unlike then, my heart was unsettled.

Being too happy makes the fact that it could end feel too regretful.

Hmm. Even I don’t know anymore.

I don’t want to think about these things anymore today. I don’t want to on such a good day.

As time passed and it got closer to when I needed to leave for my appointment.

I changed clothes in the bathroom so Yuhan wouldn’t feel uncomfortable.

My head feels dizzy as I arrange my clothes and look back to see if I forgot anything.

During this, Yuhan’s voice came through.

“Ari, this laptop seems to still be on, should I turn it off?”

Just everyday conversation. Being distracted and thinking it wouldn’t be a big problem, I answered right away.

“Huh? Ah, yes please!”

It’s not good to waste electricity while staying at someone else’s house, but I must have made a mistake since I don’t usually use the laptop much.

I finished fixing my hair while looking in the mirror and walked out.

I packed everything I needed, my clothes don’t look strange anywhere, and my hair isn’t embarrassing to show in public.

I could leave right away, but thinking I might need it, I went to where my belongings were to grab a cardigan.

“Ari, this…”

On the laptop screen Yuhan was looking at.

The TwitchyTV window connected to my sub-account was open.

Did I not log out yesterday?

My body freezes. My thoughts stop. No words come out.

“Aristo… is this your account…?”

Yuhan remembers my sub-account nickname. He even mentions this nickname occasionally during streams.

So… that can’t really be called a question.

Cold sweat flows. My clothes get wet with sweat.

I moved my frozen body, taking big steps toward Yuhan.

BANG-!

And forcefully closed the laptop. Though it made a loud noise from not controlling my strength, that’s not what’s important right now.

I feel Yuhan’s gaze.

How did it end up like this? It was such a happy day. It was a perfect day.

Everything I’d built up until now collapsed in an instant.

I finally understood my feelings. I wanted to become closer, even if slowly.

He must be disappointed? No, it would be beyond disappointment. He must be disgusted with me.

Why…, why couldn’t I control that one thing and ended up causing this?

Was that happiness I felt yesterday and today the last happiness I could feel?

My mental state completely collapsed.

The mental strength I was somewhat confident in crumbled in an instant.

Selfishly enough, rather than feeling sorry toward Yuhan, the thought that I wouldn’t be able to see him anymore consumed my mind.

I’m so scared. The silence that has fallen feels so frightening.

And.

Because my mental state broke down. Though making such excuses fills me with self-loathing.

I. All the causes of this situation.

“You said you’d just turn off the power! Why…, why are you looking through someone else’s laptop…!”

I turned it all on Yuhan.

After making an even bigger mistake, my senses return.

What have I done? Why did I do such a thing?

Yuhan looks at me with his characteristic scary eyes. No, glares at me.

It’s all over. I can’t see any hope of reversing this situation.

Just minutes ago I was having a happy day, but everything ended.

I frantically unplugged the cords connected to the laptop and ran out of Yuhan’s house.

I left my belongings behind but that doesn’t matter. It’s not a situation to care about appointments or anything else.

Just.

Despair enveloped me.

(End of chapter)