Gender Reversed Geum Taeyang - Chapter 84

Chapter 84 – An Inevitable Choice

Throughout my life, I’ve only thought of alcohol as something to liven up social gatherings.

I never particularly enjoyed the taste of alcohol, and I didn’t want to make a fool of myself by getting too drunk.

Even when I did drink, I always did so moderately, restraining myself as soon as I felt tipsy.

But, I never knew alcohol could be this good.

After Yuhan discovered that account, alcohol helped me escape from reality when I felt like I was going crazy.

It even let me be with Yuhan in my dreams.

Just being able to see Yuhan again, whom I thought I’d never see again, makes it such a blissfully happy dream, and with alcohol added, laughter naturally escapes my lips.

I really hope my liver doesn’t perform at its usual capacity just for today.

Anyway, right now I’m sitting with Yuhan on a bench in a park near the bar.

Through my clothes and cardigan, I can feel the warmth from where our shoulders touch.

Is this what they call a lucid dream? I heard that in lucid dreams you can control the dream world, but I guess that was a lie.

Well, I never wanted that kind of experience anyway.

Though just as I was thinking it might not be entirely impossible, wanting to hold Yuhan’s hand, he interlocked his fingers with mine.

Rough hands for a man. But just holding them makes my heart flutter.

In that state, I stared blankly at the sky, recalling what happened earlier.

While walking with Yuhan, Lee Junhyuk suddenly appeared.

Since dreams are usually a series of random events, I was about to brush it off, but he started getting angry at Yuhan.

Even though every second was precious and I wanted to move past it quickly, Junhyuk kept interrupting us and eventually said something extremely disrespectful to Yuhan.

My body made the judgment faster than reason could, and I slapped Junhyuk’s cheek.

Whether it’s because this is a dream, or because alcohol removed my self-control… I pride myself on not usually being a violent person, but…

Hmm. Or maybe it’s just because it was related to Yuhan.

I’m not sure. Why should I keep remembering such things when I’m having such a nice dream? It’s that pathetic man’s fault, even in my dreams.

I leaned my head on Yuhan’s shoulder.

I know it might look a bit strange for a woman to do this to a man.

But right now it’s in a dream. In my inner world.

Just for today, just for this moment.

I wanted to be honest with myself.

###

If I may make an excuse…

I’m completely unfamiliar with this area’s geography, and I rushed out after hastily ending my broadcast when I heard Ari was here.

I thought I had memorized the path I took, but who could perfectly remember places they rushed past in hurried steps?

Plus, I got distracted after meeting that weird guy in the middle.

Well, that’s not just one excuse, but anyway.

This.

I think I’ve lost my way.

Damn. What am I doing at this age?

My phone died because I left it on too long while trying to find my way earlier without properly charging it, and Ari absolutely refuses to hand over her phone, probably because of what happened a few days ago.

Also, I tried asking several passersby for directions earlier in the busy area, but they were all people from other areas who weren’t familiar with this area’s geography.

Even when I tried going to what looked like main streets, I couldn’t find a single taxi.

Now… After wandering around similar places for a while and giving up, I’m sitting in a nearby park giving Ari hangover relief drinks.

Buses and subways are already near their last departure times. I don’t even know where the stops are around here in the first place.

What should I do? We can’t walk either.

It’s a stressful situation.

I did memorize the location of a motel earlier just in case… but that seems… somehow… hmm. It might look strange.

Even though we have feelings for each other, for an unmarried man and woman who aren’t even dating to go to a motel!

Plus, one of us is drunk!

Hmm.

No, no. Am I being too prejudiced against motels?

It’s just accommodation after all. If we’re just going to sleep and leave, there shouldn’t be any problem.

Since this is a gender-reversed world, it probably won’t even look strange for a man to take a drunk woman to a motel.

Why was I thinking so negatively? Was that the limit of an eternal single’s imagination?

We’ve already slept in the same bed anyway.

After a moment’s deliberation, I came to a conclusion.

I can’t leave Ari out in the cold night air.

And it doesn’t seem like continuing to worry will lead to any answers.

This.

Well.

It’s an inevitable choice.

###

There are moments when you deeply feel that this is a gender-reversed world.

While there are quite a lot of moments to choose as examples…

My current situation seems perfectly appropriate as an example.

Gazes fly from everywhere.

Since the motel is in a busy area, unlike the park earlier, there are many people around.

Almost everyone.

Is watching me carrying Ari on my back.

Damn. Is this how people of color felt when trapped in human zoos*¹?

This would have been quite normal in the previous world…

While it might look strange when applying the gender-reversal filter, it feels odd to be stared at this much.

Whether Ari knows how I feel or not, she’s buried her face in my nape.

Every time Ari breathes, a strange sensation flows through my body.

This is driving me crazy.

Still, I don’t regret it. I made this choice because Ari looked like she was having trouble walking. She’s more important than those stares.

Anyway, after all that trouble, we arrived at the motel.

I put Ari down again since carrying someone inside the building might inconvenience others.

Ari’s reaction when getting off my back was somewhat awkward, but it probably wasn’t anything important.

Anyway, after meeting the part-time motel worker who looked at us with dubious eyes.

And after an awkward elevator ride with a contrasting couple – a woman holding a drunk man.

We finally arrived at our shelter for tonight.

“Ari, you rest on the bed.”

Though I’m not sure if she can hear me since she’s completely drunk, I said that while princess-carrying her onto the bed.

I felt her twitch a bit, maybe she was uncomfortable. Well, she can rest comfortably now.

Looking around, I see a clean and cozy room.

Hmm. This was indeed a fantastic choice.

I invested some of my endless capital to get an expensive room, and this room seemed worth the price.

Both the bed and wallpaper were quite luxurious.

… Though the soundproofing wasn’t luxurious at all.

To think I’d live to hear a man make such moans. This world really isn’t fit for living.

While quietly letting out exclamations of admiration, and occasionally sighing at the unfortunate soundproofing situation, I looked around the room before entering the shower.

Ari will probably fall asleep like that soon, so I should just quickly shower and go to sleep too.

Tomorrow… I should have a serious talk with Ari.

Honestly, with Ari in that state, and knowing we have feelings for each other, I’m not confident I can sleep normally.

But everything has its proper order. I’ll try hard to endure.

After all, my self-control is reliable.

###

It was probably from when Yuhan carried me on his back.

That’s when I think the alcohol started wearing off suddenly.

No matter how perverted I might be, I don’t live with the desire to be carried by a man, especially Yuhan.

Still, I was just going along with it thinking it was a dream, but…

As we passed through the busy area and I felt people’s stares, I started becoming more clear-headed.

The shock of realizing this was reality while having my face buried in Yuhan’s nape, thinking it was a dream… I don’t want to think about it again.

To think the alcohol’s effects would last such a short time when I was so drunk.

Anyway, with that shock, I started to analyze what was happening while watching Yuhan walking somewhere.

Of course, before I could finish analyzing the situation, we quickly arrived at a motel, and by the time Yuhan carried me and put me on the bed, my head felt like it was about to explode.

When Yuhan, who was curiously looking around the motel, entered the shower, I slowly got up from the bed.

I could hear Yuhan humming a song from the shower.

What is this situation?

I still remember everything after that incident. Yuhan certainly never forgave me, and actually, this was the first time meeting him since that incident.

In such a situation, why did Yuhan come looking for me at the bar?

Why did he take such good care of drunk me?

Why is he humming happily in there?

What about earlier when he interlocked his fingers with mine first? When he prevented Junhyuk from touching me?

My body wants to conclude that Yuhan has forgiven me, but my reason is preventing that.

Isn’t that thinking too optimistically?

It seems even meeting Junhyuk earlier wasn’t a dream, and Yuhan hearing such things from that guy… isn’t it ultimately related to me?

When I’m only causing nothing but trouble, how could I be forgiven so easily?

I sat on the bed clutching my head.

It’s just scarier when inexplicable things happen.

How much time passed like that?

The bathroom door opened gently.

Yuhan walked out wearing a shower robe.

As soon as I see him, my heart starts beating wildly. My lower body starts getting hot. My breathing becomes rough, my body heats up.

You crazy bitch. Why are you being like this even here?

While I feel self-loathing and try my best to calm my excitement.

My body’s response is too honest.

My reason never works properly in front of that man.

“Uh… Ari, how long have you been awake…?”

“Yu-Yuhan, that’s…”

“Uh, um, no, well, um. Uh… do you want to shower too…?”

“Ah. Ah, yeah…”

I rushed into the shower as soon as I heard Yuhan’s suggestion.

I still don’t have the confidence to face him properly.

Besides, my body isn’t in a state to face him properly either. My lower body is already responding, isn’t it?

I quickly took off my clothes.

If I get in the water, if I shower, my mind will become clearer.

But what I didn’t expect was.

That the shower room was full of traces of Yuhan having washed himself, his scent and warmth.

Maybe because of that. The flow of my thoughts, which had been thinking about words of apology to tell Yuhan, naturally drifted in a different direction.

I’ve seen Yuhan after showering many times, and I’ve even seen his naked body before.

But today somehow felt completely different from before.

The motel setting. The color of the lighting. The sounds coming through the walls. The shower robe I’d never seen before.

Yuhan’s actions that suggested he’d already forgiven me, that seemed to not mind that incident at all.

Were eating away at my self-control.

Tonight. This night.

It seemed like it would be an extremely difficult time to endure.

(End of Chapter)

T.N. 1. What does he mean by that (≖_≖ ) ?