Husband, Let Me Touch Your Abs - Chapter 196

“Father, let’s go back. You’ll catch a cold if you stay out here too long.” Zhao Jingshu stood beside his father, holding a heavy cloak, but his father’s gaze remained fixed on the tombstone, as if he hadn’t heard him.

It had been a month since Lu Yao passed away. The whole family was still struggling to adjust, finding it hard to accept that the person who used to chatter in their ears every day had suddenly disappeared.

Zhao Jingshu’s throat tightened, and after swallowing a few times, he couldn’t hold back his tears. “Father, let’s go home… Xiao Ju’er is still waiting for you.”

Xiao Ju’er was his youngest son, only six years old this year, and the old man’s favorite grandchild.

Sure enough, upon hearing his grandson’s name, Zhao Beichuan snapped out of his daze. “Ah, then let’s go.” He leaned on his cane, his back hunched as he turned toward the carriage waiting nearby.

Two attendants helped him climb up with great difficulty. Watching from the side, Zhao Jingshu felt another pang of sorrow.

Their mother’s sudden passing had hit the old man too hard. Almost overnight, his hair had turned completely white, his body aged by ten years, and his health deteriorated significantly.

The carriage rolled over the snow, creaking as it made its way back to the city. Zhao Beichuan dozed off inside, dreaming of his younger days with Lu Yao, making tofu together. He was in the courtyard turning the millstone, while Lu Yao sat beside him picking through soybeans.

“Beichuan, looks like the weather might change tomorrow. Not a single star in the sky.”

Zhao Beichuan wiped the sweat off his face. “Then hold up a lamp for me later while I put a few wooden planks over the livestock shed. If the rain comes down hard, the whole place will be a mess.”

“Alright.” Lu Yao clapped the dust off his hands, poured the beans back into a cloth sack, and went inside to fetch an oil lamp.

Zhao Beichuan finished grinding the soaked soybeans, picked up a few wooden planks, and climbed up the ladder onto the shed. But after waiting for a while, Lu Yao still hadn’t come out.

Growing anxious, he called out, “Lu Yao, did you get the lamp yet?”

No response.

He called again, louder this time, but the house remained silent.

Feeling a surge of unease, he quickly climbed down and searched the house, calling out, “Lu Yao! Lu Yao, where are you?!”

“Father, wake up!”

Zhao Beichuan jolted awake, staring blankly at the swaying carriage, his mind struggling to catch up.

“A nightmare?”

The old man choked up. “Mm… In the dream, I couldn’t find your mother…”

“Big Brother, you can’t go on like this. I heard from the servants that you’ve only been eating one steamed bun and half a bowl of porridge a day. If this continues, your health will collapse!” Zhao Xiaonian said anxiously.

Zhao Xiaochun’s voice trembled. “Yesterday, we called the physician, and he said… if this goes on much longer… I’m afraid…” He covered his face, sobbing.

Ever since their sister-in-law passed away, the whole family had lost its pillar of support, feeling directionless in everything they did. Now, with their eldest brother grieving so deeply, they feared he wouldn’t last much longer.

Standing nearby, Ma Kuan stroked his beard, deep in thought. “I once heard of something that might help Big Brother find a way forward.”

Everyone turned to him and asked in unison, “What is it?”

“Years ago, I remember that Sister-in-law helped renovate Qingyun Temple in Pingzhou. It all started when he received a copper coin from there. The Daoist priest set a five-year term, saying that the coin would grant him five years of peace, and in return, he had to assist with the temple’s repairs.”

Xiaonian quickly chimed in, “I know about this! Fifth Brother told me! Back then, Sister-in-law used to have terrible nightmares, but after visiting Qingyun Temple, they stopped completely. And when he later went to fulfill his vow, something even stranger happened—the abbot said that the Daoist who had given him the coin had already passed away many years before!”

The others clicked their tongues in amazement, though they didn’t see how this was connected to their eldest brother’s health.

Ma Kuan explained, “I think… we should give Big Brother something to hold on to.”

Zhao Beidou was the first to understand. “You mean to tell him that going to Qingyun Temple will give him a chance to see Sister-in-law again?”

Ma Kuan shook his head. “The dead don’t come back to life. That’s impossible. But we can let him believe in the idea of reincarnation—that they will meet again in the next life. That way, he’ll have something to live for.”

Xiaonian hesitated. “Will that work? After all, Big Brother hasn’t lost his mind. He might not believe in something like this.”

Zhang Qiulan said, “Not necessarily. Big Brother loved Sister-in-law deeply. If there’s even a chance that they could be together in the next life, I think he’ll want to try.”

Zhao Beidou made the final decision. They would carry out Ma Kuan’s plan, secretly making arrangements at Qingyun Temple while keeping everything under wraps. Then, they would find the right opportunity to tell Big Brother.

By early March, more than two months had passed since Lu Yao’s passing, and the weather in the capital was growing warmer by the day. Zhao Beichuan still followed his daily routine of taking a carriage to the outskirts to visit his husband’s grave.

Like always, he cleared the weeds around the grave, then sat on a small stool beside the tombstone, chattering about family matters.

“The fennel we planted in the vegetable garden has sprouted, and the persimmon tree in the courtyard is budding too. Around this time every year, we’d be tending to these together. You always complained about the smell of manure. But how else would the crops grow strong without it?”

“Xiaonian and Xiaochun have been visiting the house a lot lately. I know they’re worried about me… But I just can’t eat. Every morning when I sit down with my bowl, the moment I don’t see you there, I feel full. I lose my appetite completely…”

“Ah, Yao… how could you be so heartless, leaving me behind like this…” Zhao Beichuan clutched the tombstone, his face full of sorrow.

Seeing this, Zhao Jingshu rushed over to support him. “Father, please don’t cry, or you’ll ruin your health!”

It took great effort to get him back into the carriage, but as soon as he sat down, Zhao Beichuan lost consciousness. Zhao Jingshu’s legs nearly gave out from fright, and he immediately sent for the imperial physician. After administering several doses of medicine, they managed to stabilize him. If things continued like this, he wouldn’t last long.

There was no more time to waste—they needed to tell him about Qingyun Temple as soon as possible. Since he might not believe it from just anyone, they invited Fifth Uncle Lu Miao to speak with him personally.

Upon seeing his brother-in-law in such a state, Lu Miao’s heart ached. “Brother-in-law, why put yourself through this… The dead cannot return, but at least Third Brother didn’t suffer. That’s a blessing, isn’t it?” After all, many people endure long, agonizing illnesses, wishing for release but unable to obtain it.

Zhao Beichuan sighed. He understood all these truths, but after forty-one years of marriage, how could he simply let go?

“If you truly can’t bear to part with him, why not seek a way to be together in the next life?”

Zhao Beichuan was stunned, a flicker of light returning to his eyes. “How… how can I do that? Do you know a way?”

“I don’t, but I know a place that might.”

By mid-April, Zhao Beichuan had finally regained his strength. Accompanied by Zhao Jingshu and Xue Ning, he traveled to Pingzhou.

After years away, their old residence had been carefully maintained by Lu Sixteen’s son, Lu Zhou. Knowing that his master was returning, Lu Zhou had spent days cleaning and preparing the house.

Qingyun Temple had also been informed in advance, with a plan set in motion to give the old man something to believe in, something to keep him going.

With renewed purpose, Zhao Beichuan’s health improved significantly. When they arrived at the mountain, he didn’t even need help climbing—his steps were light, as if eager.

Reaching the temple gates, he reminisced, “I remember this place. I was the one who hired the craftsmen for the renovations back then.”

Lu Shiliu, panting behind him, chuckled, “Master, you have a good memory. Didn’t our family pay for the entire restoration? Just a few years ago, you even sent more funds for repairs. My son supervised the work, redoing the walls and repainting everything. Even the statues inside were refreshed.”

Zhao Beichuan hadn’t known about this—Lu Yao must have arranged it.

He walked into the temple with interest. Since it was a holiday, the temple was bustling with visitors. He wandered around, pausing to admire familiar sights.

As people age, they grow sentimental. Even the smallest reminders of the past become precious.

After half an hour, Zhao Jingshu and Xue Ning went to invite the abbot, while Zhao Beichuan, lost in thought, unknowingly wandered into the back courtyard.

There, in the corner, stood two tall stone tablets. Beside them, an elderly man with a full head of white hair was engrossed in a cricket fight.

Curious, Zhao Beichuan walked over for a closer look.

“You’ve arrived.”

“…Are you speaking to me?”

The old Taoist chuckled. “Is there anyone else here?”

Zhao Beichuan looked around, but the servant who had been following him was nowhere to be seen.

“You knew I was coming?” Zhao Beichuan stepped forward, lifted the hem of his robe, and sat on the stone beside the old man.

“I did. And I also know why you’re here.”

“Why?”

The old Taoist smiled without answering. He prodded the small cricket inside the jar and said, “What you seek is too difficult. I fear you won’t be able to accomplish it.”

Zhao Beichuan anxiously stood up and bowed. “I only ask for the master’s help. If I can have another chance to be with him, even if it means never entering the cycle of reincarnation again, I will gladly accept it!”

“Sit down, sit down. It’s not as severe as you make it sound. But you will have to be reborn into the animal realm for three lifetimes. Are you willing?”

“I am willing!” Zhao Beichuan replied without hesitation.

“I suppose fate has tied you and your husband together. Stay in this temple and sweep the courtyard for nine years. Once the time is up, I will personally send you to reincarnation…”

Before he could finish speaking, the old man transformed into specks of light and vanished!

Zhao Beichuan’s eyes widened as he looked around. He suddenly realized he was enveloped in a thick mist. As the wind swept the fog away, Zhao Jingshu and the others finally appeared.

“Father, why did you wander off alone? We’ve been searching for you everywhere—you nearly scared us to death…”

“No… nothing’s wrong…” Zhao Beichuan turned back to look at the stone monument. The old Taoist’s words echoed in his ears.

Nine years… He would endure it.

The seasons passed, year after year.

Zhao Beichuan had now lived in Qingyun Temple for eight years. As he aged, his body grew increasingly frail.

To bring him some comfort, Zhao Jingshu sent his youngest son, Ju’er, to stay with him on the mountain.

Ju’er was already fourteen, tall and slender. His features bore a striking resemblance to Zhao Jingshu’s. Whenever Zhao Beichuan saw him, it was as if he were looking at a younger Quanbao. Sometimes, he even called the wrong name.

“Quanbao, how many days until the New Year?”

“Grandfather, I’m Ju’er. There are thirteen days left until the New Year.”

“Heh, how wonderful.”

“Grandfather, why do you always look forward to the New Year so much?”

“Because once the New Year is over, Grandfather can finally go see your Grandmother.”

Ju’er didn’t quite understand what he meant, but he had a feeling that his grandfather was going to leave. Reluctantly, he grabbed Zhao Beichuan’s hand. “Grandfather, I don’t want you to go.”

“My good child, Grandfather has waited so many years for this moment. You should be happy for me.”

Ju’er wiped his tears and nodded. “Yes, Ju’er is happy for Grandfather.”

On the night of the thirtieth day of the lunar year, Zhao Beichuan retrieved the last piece of clothing that Lu Yao had made for him from a chest. After washing himself, he put it on, his trembling hands carefully tying up his hair into a formal crown.

The next morning, everyone discovered that the old master had passed away…

[Author’s Note]

This explains the nine-year age difference in the modern timeline. The old Taoist allowed him to reincarnate as a mayfly for three lifetimes—each one fleeting, born in the morning and gone by night—so Zhao Beichuan never had to endure the suffering of the animal realm.

TL Note – Wow this has been a rollercoaster ride i was supposed to be happy in the end but what is this – this chapter was so sad