Let Me Go, I’m Not Pregnant - Chapter 36

“You scoundrel!”

 

General Gu was furious. His palm burned with pain, but the rage in his heart made that pain insignificant.

 

Gu Xingzhi was stunned by the slap. The last time he had been hit like this was when he was a child, captured and interrogated in an enemy camp.

 

He realized that General Gu disapproved, but so what if he did? He wanted Luo Shen.

 

He stood up straight. “Father, I like Luo Shen!”

 

“Don’t call me father!” General Gu’s chest heaved with anger. He then snapped, “And don’t call his name so directly!”

 

With a wave of his hand, two men immediately stepped forward. “Take him away, and lock him up in the Gu residence!”

 

“No way!” Gu Xingzhi turned to leave. “I won’t give up on him!”

 

General Gu angrily retorted, “I will deal with the emperor myself. You two, it’s impossible!”

 

“Why?” Gu Xingzhi refused to accept this. He walked briskly towards the exit, but after a few steps, dozens of soldiers suddenly surrounded him.

 

“Move!” Gu Xingzhi glared at them furiously.

 

“Sir,” the leading deputy general cupped his hands, “please reconsider.”

 

Gu Xingzhi laughed in his rage. “Do you think I can’t take you on?”

 

“Sir Gu is young and capable; we certainly can’t stop you.”

 

Gu Xingzhi realized something. He turned around and saw nearly a hundred soldiers approaching from behind.

 

It was clear they wouldn’t let him leave.

 

General Gu, with a cold expression, ordered, “Seize him!”

 

The crowd surged forward, and Gu Xingzhi resisted immediately. But no matter how skilled he was, he only had two fists and two legs. After struggling for most of the day, he felt his strength waning while the number of soldiers only increased.

 

He closed his eyes and stopped fighting.

 

By now, it was dusk.

 

The soldiers, seeing him finally cease, sighed in relief, retracted their fists, and awaited General Gu’s instructions.

 

After watching for a long time, General Gu’s anger had not subsided. He barked, “Men, take him!”

 

Several men approached, and Gu Xingzhi didn’t resist as they bound him and placed him in a carriage.

 

Once back at the Gu residence, General Gu ordered them to throw him into a room, sealing all the windows and doors, leaving only a small hole for delivering meals.

 

Gu Xingzhi sat on the bed, watching the people bustling around. Finally, they locked the door, and it was quiet.

 

He frowned. “If you don’t untie me, how am I supposed to eat?”

 

From outside came General Gu’s voice. “You can untie yourself, stop pretending! And don’t expect any food even if you shout!”

 

“… ” Gu Xingzhi, choking with anger, broke the ropes and threw them on the bed.

 

He went to the small meal hole, which was only palm-sized, impossible for a person to pass through.

 

He walked to the door and tried to pull it.

 

Great, it was reinforced with steel plates.

 

He called out for General Gu, but no one responded. After a while, Madam Gu’s voice faintly came from outside the door. “He’s gone to the palace, no use calling.”

 

Gu Xingzhi’s eyes tightened, and he immediately went to the door, knocking. “Mother! Mother, open the door! Mother! He can’t go!”

 

Madam Gu listened to the commotion inside and sighed.

 

She never imagined that her son, who was raised so well, would suddenly like men.

 

If he had always liked men from the start, it would have been one thing, but…

 

How could he do such a thing when he was already engaged?

 

Moreover, the other party was the emperor!

 

Just thinking about it made Madam Gu dizzy with anger.

 

She snapped, “Don’t call me mother. If you don’t realize your mistake, you won’t be coming out!”

 

Gu Xingzhi was stunned. He made a mistake?

 

What did he do wrong?

 

He liked men, and that was a mistake?

 

He continued pounding on the door. “Mother, I can’t admit to this mistake! Let me out!”

 

“I won’t!” Madam Gu, equally furious, retorted, “Your father should go to the palace and pull the emperor away from this misery you’ve caused! Still refusing to admit your fault? You’ve really opened my eyes!”

 

Fuming, she turned and left.

 

The wind swept sand across the empty doorway, adding a touch of desolation.

 

Inside, Gu Xingzhi frowned.

 

What did she mean by pulling the emperor away from this misery? Was he really that miserable?

 

Was loving him wrong?

 

He had a feeling there was some misunderstanding, but there was no time to think it over now. If General Gu said anything to Luo Shen, Luo Shen might misunderstand!

 

He knocked on the door again, listening for any sounds outside. When he was fairly certain no one was there, he took out a soft sword from his waist and began cutting at the door.

 

——

 

Inside the palace.

 

Chang’an saw someone return looking disheartened and felt a jolt of worry. He quickly stepped forward to ask, “Your Majesty, was Lord Gu ungrateful?”

 

Beside him, Changxin drew her sword with a swish. “Ungrateful? Then let’s behead him!”

 

Luo Shen glanced at the two of them, listless. “No.”

 

“Then what happened?” Chang’an had just sent a hopeful-looking Luo Shen out of the palace in the afternoon, and now he was back, looking several times more haggard.

 

His heart ached. “Your Majesty, did he bully you?”

 

Luo Shen shook his head again.

 

“Then what is it?” Chang’an was so anxious he was about to jump. “Did it start hurting again this afternoon?” Thinking that was the only possibility, he was about to call for the imperial physician, but Luo Shen shook his head once more.

 

Chang’an was confused. “It wasn’t Lord Gu bullying you, and you weren’t in pain. Then what made you unhappy, Your Majesty?”

 

Changxin tentatively asked, “Do you miss him? Then why didn’t you just bring him back?”

 

Chang’an, catching on, said, “Weren’t you going to fetch him, Your Majesty?”

 

The two exchanged glances. Changxin asked, “Did the Gu family refuse to marry their son off?”

 

Luo Shen said nothing and showed no reaction, but compared to before, this silence was an acknowledgment.

 

Changxin drew her sword with a swish, startling Chang’an. “Changxin, you’re not planning to massacre the Gu residence, are you?”

 

Changxin gave him a look as if he were an idiot. “Of course not!”

 

Chang’an’s voice trembled. “Then why did you draw your sword?”

 

Changxin smirked. “I’m just cleaning it.”

 

She sat on the ground, took out a handkerchief, and began wiping her sword, but her thoughts drifted to the Gu residence.

 

She had always thought herself heartless. Though the late emperor had named her Changxin, hoping she would grow a conscience, she had never felt what it was like to care.

 

But Chang’an’s question made her feel conflicted for the first time.

 

If she really had to kill everyone in the Gu residence, would she?

 

She didn’t know. She was very conflicted.

 

Luo Shen was also conflicted.

 

In the afternoon, returning from the training grounds, Luo Shen had already seen clearly that General Gu would never allow him and Gu Xingzhi to be together. After all, they were both men, and if word got out, it would be bad for everyone.

 

General Gu naturally knew about his condition. Though he had never shown disdain for Luo Shen outwardly, it didn’t mean he was willing to accept it in his heart.

 

Since childhood, the people around him had almost always been like this…

 

Luo Shen thought, should he give up on Gu Xingzhi?

 

Rationality told him he should.

 

But his heart ached.

 

He didn’t want to.

 

The room fell silent, so silent that he felt something might happen.

 

Just as Luo Shen sensed a bad premonition, the next moment, a palace servant reported that General Gu requested an audience.

 

He took a deep breath and looked up. “Let him in.”

 

Chang’an frowned and suggested, “Perhaps you shouldn’t meet him today, Your Majesty. Your health is paramount.”

 

Luo Shen looked at him, somewhat dazed, but shook his head, steadying himself. “No, let’s finish this in one go.”

 

Better to clarify everything at once, rather than letting his heart be unsettled repeatedly.

 

General Gu entered the hall and bowed. “Your Majesty, I pay my respects.”

 

“General Gu, speak your mind.”

 

General Gu looked around the room, his gaze landing on Chang’an, but he knew there was another hidden pair of eyes in the room.

 

Luo Shen raised his hand, signaling for Chang’an to leave.

 

Chang’an frowned deeply, giving General Gu a disapproving look before stepping out.

 

The door slowly closed, and the sound in the room resumed. “I have come to speak about my son.”

 

“General Gu…”

 

“My son is fortunate to have your favor, Your Majesty, and I am deeply grateful. If the feelings are mutual, I would not dare obstruct.”

 

Hearing this, Luo Shen felt a sharp stab in his heart. His gaze turned sharp. “General Gu, do you know what you’re saying?”

 

“Your Majesty, my son is already betrothed, long before entering the palace.” General Gu knelt to the ground. “He is blessed, but not a suitable match for you. I beg Your Majesty not to fall into this!”

 

Luo Shen abruptly stood up. “What did you say?”

 

“Your Majesty, I am willing to take my son’s punishment!” General Gu bowed his head to the floor, ready to face the emperor’s wrath.

 

Opposite him, Luo Shen wavered, taking a deep breath in disbelief. “I… I never heard of his engagement. General Gu, do not deceive… me!”

 

“Today at noon, my wife even asked him about the engagement. It is being prepared and has not yet been reported to Your Majesty.”

 

Hearing this, Luo Shen blinked and after a moment, lightly laughed, slowly sitting back down. He spoke softly, “Fine.”

 

“Your Majesty, I am willing to take Xingzhi’s punishment!” General Gu wished he could bore a hole into the ground. Having such a son made him feel ashamed before the late emperor and Luo Shen!

 

However, Luo Shen did not react as he expected. Instead, he restrained all his anger, showing no emotion, his voice gentle. “General Gu, you have served the country your whole life. This is not your fault.”

 

“Your Majesty, Xingzhi—”

 

“I do not blame you.” Luo Shen closed his eyes, as if tired. “I was willing. Let’s end this matter here.”

 

General Gu stared in disbelief at Luo Shen, who sat in the chair, slowly drinking tea.

 

His face was still pale without a trace of blood, his long eyelashes casting shadows, and his lips held a cold smile, as if General Gu’s words had not affected him at all.

 

But his shoulders trembled, and the hand holding the teacup shook, like a peach tree about to bloom suddenly drained of all its life, turning swiftly into deadwood.

 

He could no longer maintain a facade of calm. With a violent tremor in his voice, he threw down the teacup and shouted, “Someone, escort General Gu out!”

 

The doors burst open, and Chang’an rushed in with his men, surrounding General Gu.

 

Chang’an laughed angrily, clasping his hands as he looked at General Gu.

 

“General Gu, Young Master Gu’s belongings have been packed. Please take them with you.”

 

With that, he turned coldly. “Please leave immediately!”

 

—

 

Neither Chang’an nor General Gu had ever seen Luo Shen like this.

 

On the way back, General Gu recalled Luo Shen’s face, feeling a pang of heartache.

 

He realized that Luo Shen was serious.

 

Gu Xingzhi had betrayed Luo Shen!

 

General Gu had watched Luo Shen grow up. If Luo Shen and Gu Xingzhi were truly in love, he might have accepted it, but…

 

General Gu’s heartache gradually turned to anger.

 

When he got home, he didn’t even look at Lady Gu waiting at the door. He rushed to Gu Xingzhi’s room and kicked the door open.

 

Inside, Gu Xingzhi sat on the ground, disheveled and covered in plaster dust.

 

Beside him was a blunt soft sword, broken in two, useless as a weapon.

 

Gu Xingzhi had been chipping away at the mottled walls, discovering they were lined with stone slabs that his soft sword couldn’t cut through. He tried the door instead, but it was reinforced with iron.

 

The beleaguered sword snapped with a clatter, leaving him no choice but to wait for General Gu’s return.

 

The kicked door sent dust flying.

 

Lady Gu, following behind, was startled. She hadn’t expected Gu Xingzhi’s desperation after being told to sever ties with the emperor.

 

But why would he engage with someone else then?

 

Lady Gu couldn’t understand. She glanced at General Gu, whose face was dark with anger.

 

Clearing her throat, she entered and asked, “Xingzhi, do you realize your mistake?”

 

Gu Xingzhi looked up at them, his mind full of Luo Shen’s face, and he couldn’t understand. “What did I do wrong?”

 

General Gu, hearing this, became even angrier. “If you can’t figure it out, keep thinking!”

 

He stormed out, but Gu Xingzhi quickly stood up. “What about Ah Shen?”

 

General Gu paused, frowning. “Ah Shen?”

 

“I mean… His Majesty. How is he?” Gu Xingzhi was worried. When he last saw Luo Shen, he was unwell and might be worse after this.

 

Frowning, he said seriously, “Father, I don’t know what I did wrong. You must tell me. And don’t upset His Majesty; he’s not in good health!”

 

General Gu’s face darkened. “You know he’s unwell? Then why commit such a grievous sin?”

 

Gu Xingzhi felt increasingly confused. “Father, our dynasty isn’t without men who love men. Didn’t Mother say you once saw men give birth during military campaigns? Surely that wasn’t with women? Why is it different for me?”

 

Frowning, he continued, “The emperor and I are mutually in love. He…”

 

“Mutually in love?” General Gu laughed bitterly. “You think you’re the same as him?”

 

“Why not?” Gu Xingzhi pondered and understood. “Father, do you think my status is unworthy?”

 

General Gu saw that Gu Xingzhi was missing the point entirely and felt his blood pressure rising.

 

Lady Gu quickly reminded Gu Xingzhi, “They’re innocent, but you’re not. You have a marriage contract!”

 

Gu Xingzhi froze.

 

“What marriage contract?”

 

Looking at them and thinking carefully, he suddenly understood. “Father, Mother, you haven’t even met this person. How could there be a marriage contract?”

 

“Didn’t you agree to marry someone?” Lady Gu was also confused. She cautiously added, “Wasn’t this arranged by an imperial edict you requested after entering the palace? Was it a lie?”

 

General Gu frowned at him.

 

Gu Xingzhi took a deep breath. “There is such a person, but…”

 

He looked directly at General Gu. “That person is the emperor.”

 

General Gu’s face tightened. “What nonsense are you talking about? You didn’t go to the pleasure district that day. The emperor—”

 

Gu Xingzhi closed his eyes. “That day, the emperor was set up by Prince Qin and taken to the Tianxi Pavilion. By accident, I spent the night with him. I didn’t know he was the emperor then; I only found out recently.”

 

As he spoke, he suddenly realized something and looked up at them again, his throat tightening, voice trembling. “Father, you…didn’t say anything to the emperor, did you?”

 

General Gu now realized his misunderstanding. He closed his eyes in pain. “It was my mistake!”

 

Outside, the sound of insects chirping filled the air.

 

Gu Xingzhi’s face turned pale.

 

He rushed out of the Gu residence, just as a servant was untying a horse. He grabbed it and leapt onto its back, heading straight for the palace.

 

The servant was stunned for a moment. Then General Gu also rushed to the door, sighed, and said, “Prepare another horse; I’m going to the palace as well!”

 

—

 

In the palace, the imperial physician had just left when Chang’an hurried over with medicine.

 

Luo Shen lay in bed, so weak he seemed to vanish if you looked away.

 

Chang’an worriedly said, “Your Majesty, please drink the medicine.”

 

Luo Shen opened his eyes, his eyelashes fluttering slightly. He slowly sat up, but turned his head away when the medicine was brought to him.

 

Chang’an coaxed him, “Your Majesty, please drink some. Your health is paramount. The child…is tied to your life.”

 

Luo Shen remembered the child, the one that had caused him so much pain just now, a child whose true identity could never be revealed…

 

He clenched his fingers into his palm and asked, “What if I take a gamble?”

 

A gamble that he could get rid of the child without dying.

 

Chang’an’s face turned pale. “Your Majesty, that’s not a gamble you can take!”

 

Luo Shen ignored him. “What if the child is born like me?”

 

Like a monster.

 

Chang’an’s heart wrenched. “Like Your Majesty…how wonderful that would be.”

 

So beautiful.

 

Luo Shen shook his head. “No, it wouldn’t be.”

 

He added, “If the child is born, it won’t have parents.”

 

He couldn’t acknowledge it, without an empress or favored concubine. A child appearing out of nowhere would raise suspicions and make its life difficult.

 

The whole world, so many people wanted him dead.

 

Chang’an’s breath caught. “Your Majesty…”

 

At that moment, Changxin suddenly rushed in and placed a sword against Luo Shen’s throat.

 

Chang’an’s face turned pale with fright, and he quickly shouted at Changxin, “Changxin, what are you doing!”

 

Changxin remained expressionless, her eyes fixed on Luo Shen.

 

Luo Shen looked at her, his mind drifting back to a memory.

 

Years ago, Changxin had been abandoned. Someone didn’t want her and tried multiple times to abort her. She survived by sheer luck and was then given to the previous emperor, which led her to where she was today.

 

Changxin was indifferent to everything except for this one issue, which she couldn’t let go of.

 

Luo Shen gazed at Changxin’s perpetually cold face and tried to explain, saying that the medicine would definitely work to terminate the pregnancy. But then he saw her eyes blink, and tears as large as beans started to fall.

 

His smile froze, his lips twitching before they were pressed flat by the sorrow.

 

“Changxin, he is not like you,” Luo Shen said, tears mixing into the medicine, adding bitterness to it.

 

Outside, the sky was as dark as ink, but not as black as the medicine. Luo Shen took small sips, his emotions gradually calming, while beside him, Chang’an was in a flurry, trying to comfort the inconsolable Changxin.

 

She had rarely cried since she was little, but when she did, it was impossible to stop.

 

Chang’an comforted her while grumbling, “The master who needs comforting isn’t being comforted, and here I am comforting you. What are you even here for!”

 

Changxin didn’t care and continued to cry, staring at Luo Shen until he couldn’t ignore her gaze any longer and looked at her with a headache.

 

Luo Shen said, “I won’t abort.”

 

Changxin was still sobbing, “You’re not just saying that to comfort me, are you?”

 

Luo Shen: “…”

 

What an audacious request…

 

He sighed, “I’m not comforting you.”

 

He just had no choice.

 

He wasn’t entirely devoid of feelings.

 

Only then did Changxin stop crying. She stood up, wiping her eyes, and looked at Chang’an, who was exhausted. She advised him, “We have morning exercises every day, Chang’an. Why don’t you join us? Look at how tired you are, tsk!”

 

Chang’an: “…”

 

Who just exhausted themselves trying to comfort you? It was me!!!

 

He was so angry he was panting, too tired to speak, so they just stared at each other.

 

Suddenly, a palace servant announced from outside that Gu Xingzhi was requesting an audience.

 

The atmosphere, which had been somewhat relaxed, immediately tensed up.

 

The two stopped staring at each other and looked at Luo Shen.

 

Luo Shen was silent for a moment before he casually said, “I’m going to sleep. I won’t see him.”

 

He turned over and pulled the covers over himself.

 

Seeing this, Chang’an exchanged a look with Changxin. One of them climbed out the window, while the other extinguished the lights and left.

 

Outside, Gu Xingzhi saw the lights go out and felt his heart tighten.

 

Sure enough, moments later, Chang’an emerged with a cold expression. “Lord Gu, it’s late. What business do you have with His Majesty?”

 

Gu Xingzhi urgently asked, “Eunuch Chang’an, how is His Majesty today?”

 

Chang’an sneered at his concern. “Lord Gu, there’s no need for such concern. After the way you hurt him this afternoon, there’s no need for these crocodile tears tonight.”

 

Gu Xingzhi explained, “Today’s incident was a misunderstanding. I do not have a marriage contract. I—”

 

“Lord Gu, there’s no need to explain to a servant like me. I’m just a palace servant and can’t meddle in matters decreed by your parents or matchmakers,” he said sarcastically. “His Majesty remembers Lord Gu’s merit in saving Prince Qin and has already found a match for you, rewarding you with a thousand gold coins. Your belongings should have been sent back to the Gu residence by now.”

 

Gu Xingzhi recalled the large carriage at the door when he left and realized it wasn’t for General Gu’s return.

 

He glanced at Chang’an. Normally, Chang’an wouldn’t dare speak to him like this, showing how deeply Luo Shen had been hurt.

 

He licked his dry lips and asked, “Is His Majesty already asleep?”

 

Chang’an glanced at him. “Of course.”

 

“Very well,” Gu Xingzhi said, adjusting his robes before kneeling in the direction of Luo Shen’s chamber.

 

Chang’an was both shocked and furious. “Do you think using a bit of self-pity will make His Majesty willingly accept your grievances?”

 

Gu Xingzhi said, “I will wait for His Majesty to wake up and explain myself. Eunuch Chang’an, go about your business. This is not a self-pity act; I genuinely do not have a marriage contract, and I won’t acknowledge one.”

 

Chang’an was even angrier. How could someone be so careless about such a serious matter?

 

He flicked his sleeves angrily. “If you want to kneel, then kneel!”

 

With that, he turned and left.