Spring Snow - Chapter 2 Part 4

The tips of her curled fingers tingled. Eunhwan could not bring herself to lift her head and only fumbled along the floor. A low murmur flowed from the Empress Dowager’s red lips.

‘If you receive something, you will remember it all.’

Her mouth was dry. Her vision seemed to be spinning. The cold sweat on her forehead made her uncomfortable. She couldn’t even lift her sleeve to wipe it away. She was just gnawing on her lips.

‘Whether it is good or bad.’

It wasn’t a sinister voice. The bright voice that flowed into her ear was clear and beautiful, like the Empress Dowager’s singing. Yet, she felt a chill. She held her breath, fearing she might lose her composure in front of her master. She looked up. The Empress Dowager had a gentle expression on her face, just like when I first met her. Still, the words that anything received would be remembered, whether good or bad, sent a shiver down my spine.

“Then, Eunhwan. If you have my son’s sympathy, Bonhu will grant your wishes.”

A bitter taste was felt on the lips that had been bitten. A faint sensation resonated throughout the body. Only then did it occur to me that it was a dream. Even though she didn’t want to open her lips, they gave a foolish answer because it was all a dream. After all, could the sensations of the living be this intense…?

“However, Your Majesty, I do not know the matters of men and women…”

“I heard you have a mother. They say she was the lowest-ranking concubine among your father’s concubines, and even though she bore three children, including you, they didn’t even treat her like a concubine, calling her a woman not worthy of being used as a folding screen. So, I heard you couldn’t even set foot in your father’s luxurious mansion.”

The Empress Dowager laughed. As if she had heard a funny joke. Even her brief laughter was so radiant that it felt cruel. Eunhwan looked at her, frozen. She couldn’t even dare to think that a lowly servant could look up at her master. Her body, which had started to heat up from the tips of her toes, filled her eyes with tears. The lowest of the concubines, a woman who couldn’t even be used as a screen. All of this were the cruel words that her father had hurled at her mother. Thus, Eunhwan pondered why she had entered the palace and why leaving it was the wish of her life.

“Isn’t your wish to leave the palace? Isn’t your wish to live with your poor mother who even abandoned her own sons?”

The empress dowager, having taken a sip of Byeoklachun, gazed softly at Eunhwan. Eunhwan swallowed dryly. It sent chills down her spine, as if she were a Buddha sitting and piercing through her soul.

‘Bonhu can grant your wish. Enough so that you and your mother can live comfortably.’

Finally, tears fell. So, like this she became the emperor’s one-night woman. The empress dowager coaxed her like a child. She smiled as if she could give her everything she desired. Eunhwan, frozen with a burning heart, stared at her and then lowered her head.

And today, She has became the emperor’s concubine, not just a one-night woman. She was left here as a lowly concubine, not even worth using as a screen. Eunhwan opened her eyes. It was a dream like a waking nightmare. The cruel face of her father appeared before her blurry eyes. She closed her eyes once more and then opened them again. The man who had held her for more than just one night was there.

It was an incomparably beautiful face, but in the end, the man came to mind. The man who was particularly harsh and cruel to her mother. Even when Eunhwan left home to enter the palace, the image of him angrily telling her never to return briefly flashed through her mind. Perhaps her father had placed her on the same path of life as her mother. It was exhausting.

“Eun-hwan.”

A cold hand entered the room. Eunhwan rolled her eyes and looked at the emperor. Her face was pale. She thought he might be paler than her, who was lying here sick. He touched her forehead with a worried expression.

“···If you refrain for a while and nurture your energy, you will be able to conceive safely.”

A faint voice from the royal physician was heard behind the emperor. Eunhwan, who was gasping for breath with a thick gold needle covering his neck, looked at the emperor in surprise. Pregnancy? Did he say pregnancy? Am I pregnant? Eunhwan’s lips trembled in shock. The emperor, who had been looking at the royal physician with a lukewarm expression, turned his head. Soon after, the royal physician left the bedroom. Eunhwan blinked like a fish and barely managed to speak.

“Am, am I pregnant?”

Even forgetting the word ‘bincup’ and whispering the question was terrible. It should have been proper to ask after showing respect, but it was so awful. I suddenly felt scared about what I had blurted out. However, the emperor only stroked her cheek with a gentle face, showing no sign of scolding. Eunhwan looked at him anxiously and moved her lips once more.

“Conceiving and giving birth…”

“It would have been nice if we had done that, but Taeui said we need to put in more effort.”

The emperor answered with a regretful expression. As if truly regretting, a hand that had crept into her golden silk caressed her lower abdomen. Suddenly, the words he had said while holding his breath came to mind. “Why aren’t we having a baby?” It was roughly something like that.

It had already been almost a month of sleepless nights, and it seemed frustrating that no child had come. However, for Eunhwan, it was a fortunate situation. She believed it was probably a fortunate situation for the emperor as well. No, it was likely a thought shared by the entire royal family.

They hadn’t even welcomed the empress yet, but now a woman who had accidentally become a concubine was pregnant with the emperor’s child. It was not a pretty sight. The daughter of Minister Yu, who would one day become the empress, must also be quite concerned about Eunhwan.

“If you rest well, your body will soon recover.”

“Yes…”

“Since we are young, we will soon have children too.”

I couldn’t respond to those words. Eunhwan quietly lowered her gaze. Her heart raced. It wasn’t an unpleasant flutter, but thinking that her heart was racing for no reason made her uncomfortable in her seat. When she slightly tilted her p*lvis, her genit*ls throbbed immediately.

“Ah…”

When she grimaced in sudden pain, the emperor narrowed his eyes.

“You have to stay still.”

Eunhwan nodded. The pain soon subsided. The emperor, who was gently rubbing Eunhwan’s belly, spoke quietly.

“The load was too heavy. I should have restrained myself, but I couldn’t.”

“No, it’s not. It’s just a blank sheet…”

“If I go overboard like that, even the baby that’s supposed to come in will fall out, right?”

The emperor, murmuring with a sorry face, gave a faint smile. Eunhwan closed her mouth. His face was exceedingly gentle, like a husband worried about his ailing wife. It felt like they were a properly married couple. Eunhwan bit her lip. He really seemed to want a child. Until now, she had thought of it as just a light-hearted joke. But thinking back, the emperor had always wanted her to conceive. Eunhwan trembled her eyelids, unsure of what to say in response.

“Did the court official see your genit*ls then?”

“What do you mean by that…?”

“The day I first raised the hour hand.”

The emperor asked with a slightly cold expression. Although his face was only slightly hardened, that alone made Eunhwan’s heart stop. If he was talking about the day he first showed his true colors, then it was only natural. It was strange to ask if she had shown her private parts in front of the chief eunuch. At that time, she was not a concubine, so she immediately left the emperor’s chamber and scraped out the feelings inside. There was no guarantee that doing so would make a difference, but it was the procedure nonetheless.

“…Yes. I have done so.”

Eunhwan blinked. It was not something to hide. It was not a wrong thing. However, the emperor’s expression was completely hardened. The once-thumping heart began to creak.

“Your Majesty.”

“I see.”

“What did the concubine do wrong?”

With trembling white lips, she asked. At Eunhwan’s question, the emperor immediately relaxed his expression. A forced smile spread across his beautiful face.

“The concubine has done nothing wrong.”

“If you do it…”

“There is nothing wrong.”

“It seems that Your Majesty is not in a good mood.”

Eunhwan was cautious. The emperor looked at her and chuckled.

“That’s true. There’s nothing wrong, but I feel terrible.”

“Your Majesty…”

The emperor, who had been caressing her lower abdomen, covered the throbbing genit*ls with heat. When Eunhwan made a pained expression, he kissed her lips. The sensation of their lips touching and then parting was ticklish.

“The fact that the court official saw your genit*ls disturbs my mind.”

“That is…”

“The fact that he has scratched the bond of affection I have for you has also disturbed my peace of mind.”

The emperor was cold. Eunhwan, unable to find the words, merely stared at the man. The emperor, withdrawing his hand from her throbbing gr*in, carefully covered her with his robe and kissed her lips once more. Then he asked.

“Should we punish him?”

At the light-hearted remark, Eunhwan was taken aback. She immediately shook her head.

“The Taegam merely did what was right.”

“I know.”

Eunhwan blinked with a fearful expression. He forced a smile to dispel the twisted energy. Then, they silently stared at each other for a long time. Suddenly, the emperor confessed.

“I wish the baby would come soon. I heard that the previous emperor and empress had their first child in just one night, so why is our baby taking so long?”

The emperor, who had been muttering to himself, rolled his eyes and stared at her. His sharp gaze pierced her like a needle. It wasn’t a suspicious look. Was she not getting pregnant because she was taking something? But it was still a little over a month and a half to suspect such a thing. Moreover, Eunhwan was not actually taking contraceptives. She was too secluded in the inner palace to receive such a thing from the Empress Dowager or Prime Minister Yu.

“Or could it be that the baby is already in this womb, but the doctor can’t detect its pulse?”

The emperor slid his lips. It felt unnecessarily threatening, causing a tremor in one part of my heart. Eunhwan rolled her eyes and licked her dry lips.

“Um… Your Majesty. If the concubine becomes pregnant first, it might be disrespectful to Lady Yu, who is destined to become the Empress in the future…”

Eunhwan silently stared at him and then cautiously spoke. The emperor was engaged to the daughter of Minister Yu. If he had lived according to the natural order, Minister Yu’s daughter should have been crowned empress by now and they should have had children. However, for some reason, the emperor dismissed all the concubines and did not accept an empress. Naturally, without an empress, it was impossible to select a concubine.
If this had been natural course of things. In other words, if the emperor didn’t have a phobia of women, the six palaces would have been filled with concubines. Anyway, whether early or late, the emperor would have ended up that way. The six palaces would be overflowing with concubines, and the main palace would be just as it should be. Even if he is so anxious and restless about not wanting children, he would end up with countless offspring anyway, so why be in such a hurry?

“It seems you don’t need to rush. If one day, Lady Yu ascends to the position of Empress, she will naturally give birth to the rightful Crown Prince and Crown Princess.”

Eunhwan weakly murmured towards the emperor, who was staring blankly at her without answering. However, there was no response from the emperor. His expression was as if it had been wiped clean. Eunhwan felt uneasy once again.

“Is that so?”

“Yes. I understand that Her Majesty the Dowager is also looking for concubines to fill the Six Palaces.”

“I see.”

The emperor received the words without sincerity. Eunhwan, feeling somewhat relieved, began to speak the words she had been holding inside.

“When the time comes, the heir will also be strong, so you need not worry. By then, the concubine will have fulfilled her duty, so she will be at ease.”

“Your duty…”

The emperor, who was stroking Eunhwan’s cheeks that were flushed with heat, looked deeply into her eyes. And then he asked.

“What is the duty of the concubine?”

“The duty of the concubine is…”

“Yeah. What is the duty of concubine?”

The emperor laughed. A chill ran down her spine. The smile of the empress dowager came to mind. However, the emperor’s smile was incomparably more chilling.

“It is Your Majesty, Your Majesty…”

Meaningless mumbling escaped from her lips. It was a faint whisper like a bubble. The emperor slid his lips over the mumbling that could never be an answer.

“What is your duty?”

“Your Majesty.”

Tears welled up. Eunhwan tried not to let them fall. The emperor withdrew his hand as he saw the heat rising in Eunhwan’s eyes. Eunhwan bit her lips hard.

“Since you can’t answer, I won’t ask anything else. Is there an end to this duty?”

The emperor, who had been holding and stroking Eunhwan’s body anywhere, withdrew his hand and looked at her coldly. Realizing that his gaze had completely turned cold, Eunhwan tried to lift her creaking body to sit up. She couldn’t understand why the atmosphere had turned like this.

“When that duty is over, what will you do?”

“Your Majesty. I am merely, merely trying to devote myself wholeheartedly to Your Majesty…”

“Eun-hwan.”

“I’m sorry, Your Majesty. Huh…”

Eunhwan, who had burst into tears, knelt down and begged for forgiveness. The emperor, swallowing his rising irritation, stopped her from kneeling. Eunhwan’s face was pale, as if her lower body had gone numb. The emperor, his face twisted in anger, tried to lay her down again as she sobbed and begged for forgiveness. However, Eunhwan squirmed as if she desperately wanted to get up. With no other choice, he embraced her. Eunhwan blinked her eyes, heated with emotion.

“Stop fidgeting”

“However…”

“Stop saying. I don’t want to hear it.”

The woman pressed her lips together. From her half-biting lips, stubbornness was felt. Yunhyeop looked down at the woman who would burst into tears at the slightest provocation. The anger still boiled within him. Just the fact that she was still talking back only fueled his temper.

“What is your duty?”

He asked again. Eunhwan started sweating coldly and trembling again. Yunhyeop softened his expression a bit more.

“Think carefully. The noblewoman is my concubine. What does a concubine do?”

“…I am the woman who will carry on Your Majesty’s legacy.”

Eunhwan, whose eyes were darting around, cautiously made a sound. Yoonhyeop, who was holding her waist, slid his lips. Eunhwan, terrified, clung tightly to his chest. Yoonhyeop patted Eunhwan’s cheek and then asked.

“What should I do if I do it?”

“You must do your utmost to ensure the conception of His Majesty’s son.”

“But why are you thinking about a woman you haven’t even heard of?”

It was a voice like a blade of ice. Just the sound of it made her ears tingle. Eunhwan, who had been looking at the high ceiling, narrowed her eyebrows. She had no choice but to take in the Emperor. The man with a surface as cold as frost looked down at her intently. It was unfair. She thought about forcing her lips apart to clear up the misunderstanding, but she felt he would act fearfully again, so she quietly lowered her gaze.

“You look aggrieved. Do you have something to say?”

“No, no.”

“Eun-hwan”

She shook her head. The gaze that met hers turned dark. Still, Eunhwan said nothing. The emperor’s hand caressed her soft lips. Eunhwan accepted his touch and lay back down on the bed. She closed her eyes. The sound of the golden needles rustling could be heard. The emperor, who had thought to disappear after placing the golden needles up to her neck, traced her pale face and then lay down beside her. He pulled her close and embraced her deeply. Eunhwan leaned into him without resistance. She alternated between closing and opening her eyes, resting her forehead against his broad chest.

He was a man who would get chills and feel his legs go numb just from skin touching skin. In fact, it wasn’t much different now. Yet, resting his forehead against her chest and breathing softly, he didn’t feel particularly uncomfortable. It was a strange thing. A long finger gently brushed her warm cheek, as if signaling her to look up.

Eunhwan lifted her gaze. For a moment, the expressionless, yet round and dark eyes were looking at her warmly. Suddenly, she thought of the emperor murmuring about the “woman who had not been brought in.” If she had not been informed of her existence, she would not have mentioned her. Yet, her heart ached as if it were being crushed.

“I will make you comfortable.”

“……”

“I will always strive to make it a joyful and satisfying day.”

The long fingers slipped between the lips that had clung to each other. Eunhwan merely stared at him blankly.

“I will appoint your son as my crown prince and cherish your daughter as my most blessed daughter. So.”

The finger that had been pressed between their lips for a while pulled away. He lifted Eunhwan’s chin. His deep, intense gaze was sincere. There was not a trace of deceit. However, Eunhwan felt like she was about to break. She wanted to escape from this place where they lay facing each other, to somewhere out of his reach.

“Love me.”

Her heart raced as if it would burst. Just as she was about to withdraw the hand she had placed near his chest, the hand that had grabbed her chin seized her wrist.

“Swear to be my wife and vow to never change your love.”

“Your Majesty…”

“If you do so, I will bring you nothing but joy. I will also become your faithful husband and live solely for you.”

She wanted to ask how such a thing was possible. Or rather, She wanted to say, what kind of life is it for an emperor who only looks at one woman in his mind? But nothing came out of her lips. Only her hurried breaths filled the silence. As she struggled to pull back my captured wrist, the emperor narrowed his eyebrows.

“Eun-hwan.”

“Please let go.”

The weak murmurs that seemed about to crumble scattered. Yunhyeop roughly bit the woman’s lips, which did not respond. The lips he swallowed as if to overpower were horrifically sweet. So much so that he forgot what she had just said and what he wanted, nearly driving him mad. Wasn’t she the one who finally pushed him away? He could have been angry enough to push her away, but he was just filled with resentment. The woman, who seemed like she would crumble with just a grip on her wrist, struggled to push him away from her chest.

After pushing her to the floor and climbing on top of her, he lifted his lips. Eunhwan glared at him with tear-filled eyes. She was a woman who believed he had never forgotten the manners due to her master. As if she had never been embraced as a woman by him. She humiliated him as if she were a slave obeying his orders.

Whenever he sees the woman who tries to avoid him at every opportunity, he shudders with humiliation. If Eunhwan were truly a servant, and if the woman could be harmed by just a glance from him, I would have dealt with it long ago. But I can’t do that.

Joo Yoon-hyuep would never lay a finger on this woman, even if it meant death. He can’t just throw the woman he loves into the dungeon, just because she doesn’t love him back. Just because she doesn’t reciprocate his feelings… There’s no man so unreasonable to his wife. But…
“Hwan-ah”

The previously glaring eyes softened. He gently stroked the swollen, red eyelids. The wife’s eyes flickered faintly. He knew she wanted him. The woman he held also desired him as a man.

So it was meaningless. Pushing it away instead of accepting it only creates unnecessary wounds.

“Just accept me already.”

He kissed her slightly reddish eyelids. A tear fell from her eyes, as if she had swallowed something bitter. Yoonhyuep gently embraced his sobbing wife and tenderly urging her to love him.

*****