Tan Hua - Chapter 28

Pei Xingxu’s words plunged Song Liqing into deep thought, causing his once unwavering belief to waver for the first time.

 

He had always seen Jun Qiyu as his one and only, an inseparable part of his life.

 

But after experiencing life and death, Song Liqing realized that there is nothing in this world that is truly inseparable.

 

Maybe he really was too stubborn.

 

It was his obsession with gaining Jun Qiyu’s love that led to their current estrangement.

 

But at this moment, Song Liqing still couldn’t understand. Isn’t love supposed to be unique? If it can be replaced, can it still be called love?

 

Song Liqing couldn’t untangle this confusion for a long time.

 

“Liqing!”

 

Pei Xingxu called out loudly.

 

Song Liqing snapped out of his daze and turned his head. “Hmm?”

 

“Your eyes…”

 

Pei Xingxu had noticed something unusual. Since Song Liqing had awakened, he hadn’t looked directly at anything, his pupils always unfocused.

 

Just now, Song Liqing had been lost in thought for a long time. Pei Xingxu had waved his hand in front of him several times, but Song Liqing didn’t see it.

 

“My eyes…” Song Liqing laughed bitterly. “Maybe because I’ve loved crying since I was young. Crying too much left an old ailment. Whenever I cry, it tends to relapse, making my vision blur and go dark.”

 

No wonder he was so panicked when he woke up…

 

In the darkness, realizing he was blind, he had hugged himself and cried out of fear.

 

Now, he was pretending to be calm to avoid worrying others.

 

Pei Xingxu felt a sudden pang of pain in his heart. He so badly wanted to take Song Liqing away from this wretched place, away from Jun Qiyu.

 

To hide him away and cherish him.

 

Pei Xingxu knew it wasn’t the right time, so he suppressed his surging impulses.

 

“This isn’t a small matter, Liqing.”

 

“Don’t worry. A short rest will make it better.”

 

In truth, this was the first time Song Liqing had gone completely blind.

 

Before, it had been a matter of momentary dimness or blurriness. At most, his vision would go dark for a moment before recovering. But this time, he had been awake for so long and still couldn’t see any light.

 

He was internally anxious, but as he spoke with Pei Xingxu, he slowly began to see a grayish light, then some shapes of objects, and finally Pei Xingxu’s blurry figure.

 

“Look, I’m almost recovered. You’re sitting here, your head is here, and your arm is here…”

 

Song Liqing pointed into the air, proving he could see again.

 

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Pei Xingxu asked, still doubtful.

 

“Mm.”

 

Song Liqing spent a lot of effort to persuade Pei Xingxu to leave. In the end, he said that staying longer would arouse Jun Qiyu’s suspicion. Only then did Pei Xingxu reluctantly leave the Qilin Mansion.

 

Song Liqing leaned softly against his pillow. He could feel his body getting worse, especially after this coma. The spread of his blood exhaustion disease had accelerated, making him feel weak all over, struggling even to lift his hand.

 

“Time is too precious…”

 

He sighed because he didn’t know if, before the end came, he could manage to make Jun Qiyu stop hating and despising him.

 

And he didn’t know if he could repay Pei Xingxu for his kindness.

 

Otherwise, he would die with a heart full of resentment towards Jun Qiyu and guilt towards Pei Xingxu.

 

Xiaodi gave him some pre-prepared liquid food that had a medicinal taste. Song Liqing forced down a couple of mouthfuls before feeling nauseous.

 

“Take it away. I can’t eat any more.” Song Liqing refused to open his mouth again.

 

Seeing his condition, Xiaodi said worriedly, “This is a medicinal meal prepared by Imperial Physician Qi Miao. He said it’s to restore your blood and vitality once you wake up.”

 

“Oh, then I’ll finish it.”

 

Song Liqing took the bowl himself, his hands trembling uncontrollably. He fought against the nausea, swallowing mouthful after mouthful.

 

Xiaodi laughed softly. Song Liqing looked at her, puzzled.

 

“Young master, if I may be blunt, you’re so obedient. Whatever people ask you to do, you just do it.”

 

“Mm…”

 

Song Liqing forced himself to swallow the last bite and covered his mouth, dry heaving a few times.

 

“This is someone else’s hard work, I can’t waste it…” Song Liqing paused and said, “I’m afraid of letting others down.”

 

Xiaodi seemed to half-understand.

 

“But if your heart is full of others, how do you have any strength left to take care of yourself?”

 

As they were speaking, Jun Qiyu burst in. Xiaodi immediately became serious and bowed before exiting tactfully.

 

Jun Qiyu walked to the bedside and smiled.

 

“You’re awake.” Jun Qiyu said casually, “I knew you were fine. How could a perfectly healthy person fall ill and die so easily?”

 

His tone was so ordinary, as if Song Liqing had merely taken a nap and would naturally wake up the next day.

 

Song Liqing’s eyes had recovered enough to clearly see the contours of Jun Qiyu’s features.

 

“Mm.”

 

Song Liqing responded softly and then fell silent.

 

Jun Qiyu sensed something was off.

 

“You…”

 

Jun Qiyu couldn’t pinpoint it but felt that Song Liqing had changed.

 

“What is it?”

 

Song Liqing’s voice was still very weak, with a bit of hoarseness.

 

“Nothing.” Jun Qiyu said, scratching his head, “It’s just that you seem very calm and collected.”

 

Song Liqing asked, “Why do you say that?”

 

“It’s just… when you saw me, you neither smiled nor cried. Don’t you have anything you want to say to me?”

 

He opened his mouth, wanting to tell Jun Qiyu that during his coma, the little demons from the underworld were dragging him to the deepest hell, and it was Jun Qiyu’s voice that guided him towards the light.

 

Yet, he found that the urge to cry in Jun Qiyu’s arms upon waking, the relief of being lost and found, was completely gone.

 

His fear of blindness had also been resolved by Pei Xingxu.

 

The overwhelming pain and sorrow he had felt, Jun Qiyu did not see.

 

Some things, once missed, no longer need to be spoken.

 

Anyway, Jun Qiyu wouldn’t want to hear it.

 

“Maybe it’s because I’ve just recovered from a serious illness, and I don’t have the strength.”

 

Jun Qiyu pointed out his oddity: “You didn’t even cry. You usually cry a lot.”

 

Song Liqing nodded. He touched his face; the tear stains had long dried, and the joy of seeing Jun Qiyu again after coming back to life had been replaced by fear of Jun Qiyu and uncertainty about the future.

 

“I already cried.” Song Liqing simply said, “When you weren’t here.”

 

When Song Liqing needed Jun Qiyu the most, he wasn’t there.

 

Jun Qiyu frowned.

 

“Are you blaming me for not being by your side day and night while you were ill? So that when you woke up, I could comfort you? Song Liqing, you’re asking too much!”

 

“How could I blame you, Qiyu.” Song Liqing didn’t understand why he was upset and tried to speak kindly, “Don’t you dislike it when I cry? If I don’t cry, I won’t bother you.”

 

Jun Qiyu said angrily, “I dislike it even more when people treat me coldly!”

 

“You misunderstood, I really don’t have the strength to cry and make a fuss.”

 

Song Liqing tugged at Jun Qiyu’s hand. He still loved this man, even though he had hurt him many times.

 

Jun Qiyu was clearly dissatisfied with this answer. He scrutinized Song Liqing.

 

“Pei Xingxu just left, didn’t he?”

 

“Mm.”

 

“No wonder you’re so cold to me.” Jun Qiyu said sarcastically, “You must have given all your usual warmth to him, right?”

 

Song Liqing’s heart trembled. His hands fell weakly, letting Jun Qiyu’s hand slip out of his grasp.

 

**Author’s note:**

 

The torment isn’t far away…

 

But the transformation of love takes time, my dears~

 

It’s launching~

 

“Tanhua” is launching today, entering the next phase, let’s celebrate~

 

Thanks to all the dear ones who have accompanied me all the way~ and the generous supporters who have rewarded and voted for me~

 

Thanks to my editors who have spurred me on with little whips~

 

Tang never asks for rewards, just hopes that everyone will be kind and subscribe to the official version. The full text costs just a cup of milk tea, Tang would be eternally grateful~

 

Piracy is rampant, my child is starving and can’t produce content, waaa…

 

Additionally: The good news is that the Jun family trilogy, barring any accidents, will all be made into comics!!

 

“The Ugly Doctor” and “Tanhua” manga adaptations are on the agenda~

 

Once the writing is done, we can happily watch the manga version of the characters~