Tan Hua - Chapter 48

“What does it mean to never meet again in this life or the next?” Jun Qiyu muttered, “What does it mean to never meet again in this life or the next?!”

 

This was the cruelest vow and oath.

 

“Does he intend to hide away? Never see me again for a lifetime? This life… this life still has so much time remaining, why speak of the next life?”

 

Jun Qiyu could not understand Song Liqing’s intention.

 

But he was even more unsettled.

 

He felt that Song Liqing was hiding something from him, but Jun Qiyu could not fathom why he would say such things. Even if Song Liqing left him, he could hide for a time, but how could he hide for a lifetime?

 

Jun Qiyu could not sit still; he had to find Song Liqing.

 

Even if it was late, he needed to see Song Liqing in person.

 

The Qilin Manor was not far from the General’s Mansion, and Jun Qiyu did not believe that Song Liqing could hide anywhere else.

 

Even if it were to the ends of the earth, he could find him, let alone just in the capital.

 

Jun Qiyu went straight to the front of the General’s Mansion, dismounted his horse, and charged in, only to be stopped by the guards.

 

“Master has not issued an order to admit guests. Please leave!”

 

“Then go and announce my arrival.”

 

The guard remained firm, “The master said no one is to be announced.”

 

Jun Qiyu was barred from entering the Song residence, and his impatience grew as he was repeatedly obstructed.

 

“Do you know who I am?”

 

The guard remained respectful but firm.

 

“We only know who you are because we cannot let you in.”

 

“Why? Did General Song order you to block me?”

 

Jun Qiyu’s anger lessened somewhat. After all, Song Qing had looked after him a lot in the Western Region, and he had wronged him by imprisoning him. He could understand if Song Qing did not want to see him.

 

The guard replied, “It was our young master’s orders.”

 

Jun Qiyu felt a pang of bitterness.

 

“Liqing really doesn’t hold any old feelings… If I force my way in, can you stop me?”

 

Two guards brandished their weapons and aimed them at Jun Qiyu.

 

“We are soldiers, and military orders are like mountains. Even if you are the Crown Prince, you can only face the consequences—your head will fall.”

 

Jun Qiyu had spent many years in the military and admired those who strictly followed orders, so he began to relent.

 

Moreover, he had already paid a heavy price for his recklessness.

 

Was he to repeat the same mistake?

 

“Fine, I won’t make things difficult for you, but please just let them know that Jun Qiyu came by.”

 

Jun Qiyu turned his horse and left, but he was not one to give up so easily.

 

Since he was young, he had always been resourceful; to him, no problem was too difficult.

 

Though it was a bit awkward, seeing Song Liqing was the most important thing.

 

Jun Qiyu, nimble as ever, found the ten-foot-high courtyard walls no obstacle, and he swiftly entered the General’s Mansion’s rear courtyard. After a few turns, he found Song Liqing’s residence.

 

Song Liqing was lying on a recliner, with the full moon high and bright. Under the moonlight, he looked serene and graceful, his face calm and refined, outshining even the moon palace fairies.

 

Jun Qiyu’s heart skipped a beat.

 

For some reason, the distant Song Liqing appeared even more dazzling than when he was by Jun Qiyu’s side before. Jun Qiyu seemed to realize just how captivating he truly was.

 

But he could not approach.

 

In the small courtyard, there was one other person besides Song Liqing.

 

Qi Miao brought a bowl of medicine to Song Liqing.

 

Song Liqing reluctantly took it.

 

“Can I not drink this wretched medicine? It’s too bitter.”

 

Song Liqing’s voice was gentle, with a hint of childish sulking.

 

Jun Qiyu had never heard him speak like this before; he was usually serious or timid when he was by Jun Qiyu’s side.

 

Now, he seemed carefree, with no need to please anyone.

 

Jun Qiyu felt a pang of jealousy towards Qi Miao, thinking that it should be him standing in front of Song Liqing.

 

Qi Miao firmly said, “No, if you don’t drink the medicine, how can your eyes get better?”

 

“What does it matter whether I get better or not?” Song Liqing said, holding the bowl of medicine, “There are some people I’d rather not see.”

 

It was obvious who he was referring to.

 

“Being well doesn’t mean you have to see them,” Qi Miao said.

 

“Yes, I can now do as I please, and if I don’t want to see them, I won’t!”

 

Song Liqing laughed lightly, carefree and unrestrained.

 

Qi Miao urged him, “Drink it quickly. If it gets cold, it will lose its efficacy… If you don’t drink it, I’ll feed you.”

 

Jun Qiyu, hidden in the shadows, felt his heart drop and even felt a pang of anger, wanting to rush out and reprimand Qi Miao for overstepping his bounds.

 

But he reassured himself that Qi Miao’s intentions did not mean that Song Liqing would accept them. Song Liqing was always independent and strong, and he should be setting clear boundaries with Qi Miao.

 

Song Liqing tilted his head and said, “Then go ahead and feed me.”

 

Jun Qiyu felt like he had been struck by lightning, nearly losing his balance and falling off the high wall.

 

Song Liqing wiggled his fingers and said, “My hands are in pain and my eyes are blind. Don’t waste the medicine you’ve painstakingly brewed for two hours. That would be a waste of your effort.”

 

“Alright.”

 

Qi Miao was delighted, sitting down across from Song Liqing. He took the bowl of medicine, scooped a spoonful, and fed it to Song Liqing.

 

“Rarely do you rely on me,” Qi Miao said.

 

“I used to restrain myself, but now I just want to indulge.”

 

As Song Liqing spoke, he grimaced at the bitterness of the medicine.

 

Seeing this, Qi Miao took a small piece of pastry from the paper wrapper on the table and fed it to Song Liqing.

 

The sweetness melted on Song Liqing’s tongue, and he inhaled a rich, delicate fragrance.

 

“It’s osmanthus pastry.”

 

“Mm, this year’s osmanthus flowers are exceptional. The osmanthus trees all over the capital are in full bloom, filling the air with their fragrance. The people from Lianxiang Tower said it was made from this year’s new osmanthus, so it’s very fresh.”

 

Qi Miao shared these details to lighten Song Liqing’s mood.

 

Song Liqing understood.

 

“The taste is very good… It’s a pity that the flowers were in full bloom when I was still at the Qilin Manor. The flowers must be withered now?”

 

Qi Miao quickly responded, “Then we’ll wait until next year.”

 

“Next year…” Song Liqing nodded, “Alright.”

 

Jun Qiyu watched them speak softly and intimately, feeling a burning jealousy.

 

He had no real grounds for anger, but he felt deeply frustrated.

 

After all, Song Liqing and he had only parted ways today. If Jun Qiyu sincerely admitted his mistakes and changed, Song Liqing might reconsider.

 

Qi Miao had arrived so quickly, almost seizing the opportunity…

 

Qi Miao fed Song Liqing another spoonful of medicine and said, “Or, instead of waiting for next year, the plum blossoms in the capital are also quite charming. When it snows, I can take you to the suburbs to see the plums.”

 

“Pfft…”

 

Song Liqing laughed softly.

 

“Big oaf, you don’t need to be so cautious. I’m not about to die right away.”

 

Qi Miao, not good with words, only made things worse when he was anxious.

 

“I… I just meant… I’m worried you might lose heart after leaving the Crown Prince.”

 

Song Liqing swallowed the last bit of medicine. The bitter and sour taste upset his stomach, and after a moment, he spoke.

 

“Why would I? I don’t want to live for him anymore.”

 

Qi Miao looked at his wounded arm and said reproachfully, “You’ve injured yourself today. It’s you who will suffer, not the Crown Prince. He… he may not even care.”

 

“If someone once lived in your heart, to forget them, you must endure heart-wrenching pain… Otherwise, you’ll be left with regretful thoughts. This pain today constantly reminds me not to repeat my mistakes.”

 

Song Liqing’s tone was cold but resolute.

 

“Li Qing, I… I will find a way for you. You must stay alive, promise me, okay?”

 

Qi Miao’s eyes were filled with tears, but he wiped them away and tried to keep his voice steady.

 

“Mm.”

 

…

 

When Qi Miao left the General’s residence, he was still troubled. Carrying the medicine box, he walked wearily and almost bumped into someone.

 

Qi Miao recognized it was Jun Qiyu and was startled.

 

“Crown Prince, are you… are you here to enjoy the moonlight as well?”

 

Jun Qiyu’s face was expressionless, and his dark eyes were chillingly cold.

 

He ignored Qi Miao’s words and asked, “Why did you say ‘stay alive’?”

 

“What staying alive?”

 

Qi Miao could not hide his nervousness and his face showed his confusion immediately.

 

“Crown Prince, are you drunk?”

 

Jun Qiyu knew Qi Miao was hiding something.

 

“What exactly did you say to Li Qing at the General’s residence? Is he ill? What illness? Why didn’t you tell me? Li Qing didn’t tell me either…”

 

Qi Miao didn’t know where Jun Qiyu had been hiding to overhear their conversation, but the series of questions stirred up his pent-up anger.

 

“Why should he tell you?”

 

Qi Miao’s tone was no longer respectful. Just thinking about the suffering Song Liqing had endured made him resent Jun Qiyu.

 

“I am his… his bedmate,” Jun Qiyu said, lacking his usual confidence.

 

“Oh.”

 

Qi Miao coldly laughed as if he had heard a joke.

 

“Crown Prince, you knew you were his bedmate, his beloved, the person he entrusted everything and his life to?” Qi Miao retorted, “Then he is ill, and you are with him day and night. How could you not know? Did you need me, an outsider, to tell you?”

 

Jun Qiyu’s voice faltered. “I didn’t know! I thought he was just a bit weak…”

 

“Because you don’t love him,” Qi Miao answered for him. “Otherwise, how could you not notice how his wounds don’t heal? How could you not see that he’s not as energetic as before? How could you not see that he’s getting thinner day by day? Now… is he still even a living person?”

 

Jun Qiyu felt guilty, recalling many things he had ignored.

 

He hadn’t paid attention to the bloodstains left after he had been rough with Song Liqing, or to Song Liqing’s gradual emaciation, or the days when Song Liqing had hesitated to tell him something.

 

He could have known earlier,

 

Had he cared just a little bit more about Song Liqing.

 

Jun Qiyu felt as if a huge stone was pressing down on his chest, making it hard to breathe.

 

The more truth he learned, the more he realized how much he owed Song Liqing.

 

Each of these realizations tortured him, stripping away his external pride and piercing straight to his heart.

 

“Qi Miao… tell me, what illness does he have? I can hire the best doctors and find the most precious medicines…”

 

“It’s a rare blood disease, with no cure. I’m sure the Crown Prince doesn’t know. Li Qing has survived until now only because Prince Loulan exchanged his own life for it! Crown Prince, not disturbing him is the best treatment for him.”

 

So he said, they need not meet even in the next life.

 

The author’s note: “Thank you, thank you…”