Tan Hua - Chapter 49

The news of Song Liqing and the Crown Prince’s divorce caused quite a stir in the court, and naturally, the news spread among the common people, with everyone talking about it.

 

Song Liqing hid in the General’s Mansion for three days, avoiding all the rumors and gossip.

 

Pei Xingxu visited several times, but Song Liqing didn’t see him. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to, but he didn’t know how to face Pei Xingxu’s kindness towards him.

 

However, when the Emperor summoned him, Song Liqing couldn’t avoid it and had to go to the palace.

 

Led by the eunuch, Song Liqing walked through the large palace, breaking into a slight sweat.

 

“The Emperor is waiting just ahead, Prince Consort. Please watch your step on the uneven cobblestones,” the eunuch reminded carefully.

 

“Eunuch, just call me by my name.”

 

From the bottom of his heart, Song Liqing wanted to sever all ties with Jun Qiyu.

 

“My apologies, I forgot to change my address. I always felt you and the Crown Prince shouldn’t have ended up like this. You were so well-matched, it’s such a pity…” the eunuch sighed. “I’ve served in the palace for most of my life. If I may speak boldly, I’ve never seen the Crown Prince so heartbroken.”

 

“He’s heartbroken?”

 

Song Liqing thought, even if Jun Qiyu was heartbroken, it was probably because he felt betrayed and abandoned, not because he lost him.

 

The eunuch nodded. “Yes, these past few days, he’s been like an eggplant hit by frost, listless every day at court, with disheveled clothes and an unkempt appearance. For someone usually so wild and unruly, he’s suddenly become so subdued, even his voice is quieter.”

 

Song Liqing kept a cold demeanor, but he was still touched inside.

 

“Nothing to worry about,” Song Liqing dismissed his thoughts. “In a few days, he’ll forget and be his arrogant, carefree self again.”

 

“Uh…”

 

Seeing his indifferent response, the eunuch stopped talking and led the way in silence.

 

“We’re here.”

 

Upon hearing this, Song Liqing knelt down.

 

The Emperor quickly said, “Liqing, you’re unwell, no need for formalities.”

 

The eunuch helped him up and led him to a seat.

 

A gentle breeze blew by, carrying a hint of a fishy smell. Song Liqing guessed that they were probably by the pond in the Imperial Garden.

 

The Emperor was not far from him. It was the first time Song Liqing had been this close to the Emperor, who always seemed so unattainable before.

 

“You’ve stayed at the General’s Mansion for three days. Have you calmed down? Do you still want to separate from Qiyu?”

 

Song Liqing had anticipated that the Emperor’s summons would be mostly about Jun Qiyu.

 

“My decision hasn’t changed.”

 

Hearing his resolute tone, the Emperor knew there was no point in trying to persuade him.

 

“It seems Qiyu has truly broken your heart. Nothing I say can help. You’ve always been steady and never acted impulsively. Since you and Qiyu are not meant to be, I won’t force it.”

 

“Thank you, Your Majesty.”

 

Song Liqing breathed a sigh of relief. He was afraid his actions would anger the Emperor and affect his father.

 

“No need to thank me. In fact, I feel guilty on behalf of Qiyu. He owes you. I will order the return of all the betrothal gifts from the Song family to the Qilin Mansion. I know this doesn’t make up for it, but how about you choose a position you like and return to court as a way for Qiyu and me to make amends to you and your father?”

 

Song Liqing was tempted, but he was no longer fit for any position.

 

“I am blind and disabled, unable to fulfill any duties, so I must decline Your Majesty’s kindness.”

 

The Emperor did not press him. “Very well, I promise you a position. Once you recover, you can take up the post. Liqing…”

 

The Emperor suddenly paused, hesitating before speaking again.

 

“Are you so heartless to Qiyu simply because you don’t love him, or is it because of your background?”

 

Song Liqing raised his head, his unfocused eyes showing a hint of surprise.

 

“You know?”

 

“Of course I know,” the Emperor said frankly. “And what you know is the truth.”

 

Song Liqing was moved, his face showing sorrow.

 

Hu Nu’er hadn’t lied to him.

 

“If you know everything, then do you think Qiyu and I can ever be together again? Even if we were forced together, I would always hold a grudge and he would always be wary of me, fearing I might seek revenge like Hu Nu’er.”

 

“I’ve observed your nature. You don’t harbor hatred,” the Emperor said. “Although Hu Nu’er didn’t lie to you, he didn’t tell you that I secretly ordered Song Qing to raise you and gave you a new identity so you could live free from past grudges.”

 

Song Liqing was shocked. This was the first time he heard this.

 

He was a remnant of the former dynasty, but the Emperor chose not to eradicate him. Song Qing painstakingly raised and trained him. How could he hate them?

 

Apart from his bloodline, he had no connection to the previous dynasty.

 

A tear fell from Song Liqing’s eye.

 

“Father… I’m sorry.”

 

The usually stoic Emperor’s stern gaze softened.

 

“You finally called me father. It’s a bit late, though.”

 

Having resolved a lingering issue, Song Liqing left the palace feeling slightly lighter.

 

But he still ran into Jun Qiyu.

 

“Liqing!”

 

Jun Qiyu spoke as he stood in front of him.

 

Though Song Liqing couldn’t see, he instinctively turned his head, avoiding him.

 

“You knew the Emperor summoned me, so you waited here?”

 

Song Liqing saw through him immediately.

 

Jun Qiyu spoke urgently. “You refused to see me. These past days, I went to the General’s Mansion every day, but you wouldn’t see me. I had no choice…”

 

“Now that you’ve seen me, please step aside, Your Highness.”

 

Song Liqing replied coldly, then turned to speak to the eunuch guiding him.

 

“Eunuch, I don’t wish to stay here. Please take me to the carriage quickly.”

 

Song Liqing brushed past Jun Qiyu, who caught a faint medicinal scent from him. It was the same scent from the Qilin Mansion, which Jun Qiyu had once found unpleasant and ordered him not to bring into the bedchamber.

 

Now, he realized Song Liqing had been taking bitter medicine for a long time, which had damaged his stomach, making him prone to nausea at the slightest hint of strong flavors.

 

“Liqing…” Jun Qiyu caught up to him. “Tell me, is what Qi Miao said true? Do you have a disease called hemoptysis? Why didn’t you tell me?”

 

Song Liqing had no particular reason; it was just that every time he tried to tell Jun Qiyu, his actions made him swallow his words.

 

What mood could he have left to tell him now?

 

“I didn’t deliberately hide it from you. I wasn’t planning on some tragic death to make you regret it for life, Jun Qiyu. I was dying right in front of you, and you didn’t even notice.”

 

Song Liqing’s words were harsh, but Jun Qiyu couldn’t refute them.

 

“Don’t mention that word. It hurts…”

 

For the first time, Jun Qiyu was afraid of death. The word terrified him.

 

“Please, Jun Qiyu, don’t think that just because I’m dying, I need your comfort and pity. I really don’t, okay?”

 

Jun Qiyu denied it. “I’m not pitying you. I’m truly afraid of losing you. Liqing, hate me or despise me, but don’t use your life as a bargaining chip. I’d rather you live well and hate me or take revenge than see you…”

 

Song Liqing’s emotions surged. He had to admit that Jun Qiyu always managed to disturb his peace. Just as he had accepted his fate, Jun Qiyu effortlessly disrupted it.

 

“After leaving you, I’ve been very happy. So if you want me to live longer, don’t appear in front of me.”

 

Jun Qiyu watched his back, unable to hold back anymore, and rushed forward to hug him from behind.

 

Jun Qiyu had never thought that holding him like this would be such an unattainable happiness.

 

Just being close to Song Liqing, feeling his skin’s warmth, hearing his heartbeat, brought him immense joy, as if he had regained something precious.

 

“Jun Qiyu!”

 

Song Liqing reacted strongly, trying to pull away from his embrace.

 

“Let go of me!”

 

Jun Qiyu refused to let go, but he didn’t dare use too much force because Song Liqing was thinner than he had imagined. Holding him, he realized how frail he was, with barely any strength to struggle.

 

Now, Song Liqing was so fragile, like a handful of sand, slipping through his fingers, impossible to grasp.

 

Since Song Liqing left the Qilin Mansion, Jun Qiyu had missed him day and night. Now, holding him, he just wanted to be close. He was truly in love.

 

“Liqing, please don’t leave me. Let’s forget about the divorce. I’ve reflected on my mistakes these past days. I’m willing to change. Can we start over?”

 

Fate was as fragile as thin ice; once cracked, it could never be mended.

 

Song Liqing couldn’t break free from his grip and said weakly, “If everything in this world could be undone with a single apology, wouldn’t that be too easy?”

 

“Then you can hit me if you want. Whatever you wish, tenfold or a hundredfold, I’ll accept it.”

 

With his hand still injured, how could Song Liqing possibly hit him?

 

He smiled faintly. “You are truly peculiar. When I was with you, you wanted to drive me away. Now that I’ve left, you’re clamoring to cherish me. Jun Qiyu, not everyone in this world revolves around you.”

 

A few words made Jun Qiyu realize he really had no right to pester him any further. Slowly, he loosened his hold.

 

“Liqing, on the day of our wedding… I was petulant and refused to complete the ceremony. It was you who begged me to come back. These past days, I bought new red candles, pasted new festive window decorations. I’ve prepared everything. I want to complete the ceremony and drink the nuptial wine with you. Can we start over?”

 

Song Liqing’s nose tingled.

 

This was his regret.

 

He would only have this one wedding in his lifetime, and he would never be able to drink that cup of nuptial wine.

 

“What’s the point of all this now?”

 

With that, Song Liqing walked straight ahead, unwilling to turn back, and unable to do so.

 

Jun Qiyu called out loudly.

 

“Song Liqing! What do I need to do to earn your forgiveness? I’m willing to do anything!”

 

Song Liqing paused for a moment but didn’t turn back, leaving behind a single sentence.

 

“What will it take for you to let me go?”