Tan Hua - Chapter 50

Song Liqing was helped into the carriage, which slowly drove away from the palace gates.

 

Jun Qiyu felt a sense of bewilderment. He had always thought he could control everything. His previous recklessness was because he was confident that Song Liqing couldn’t leave him. Even if they separated, Jun Qiyu was sure he could win him back.

 

But he now realized that not everything was within his control, and Song Liqing wouldn’t wait for him forever. No one is indispensable.

 

In fact, he was the one who couldn’t do without Song Liqing.

 

Unconsciously, Jun Qiyu followed the carriage. He didn’t know what he was going to do; he just followed, all the way to the gate of the General’s Mansion.

 

Standing at the door was the last person Jun Qiyu wanted to see at the Song Mansion: Pei Xingxu.

 

Pei Xingxu smiled warmly as soon as he saw Song Liqing’s carriage. He walked up and personally helped Song Liqing out of the carriage.

 

To Jun Qiyu, this was a painful sight.

 

Pei Xingxu looked at Song Liqing’s face and said, “Liqing, you don’t look well. The Emperor summoned you to the palace…”

 

“I ran into Jun Qiyu.”

 

Song Liqing’s expression was somewhat downcast; Jun Qiyu had exhausted him emotionally.

 

Pei Xingxu immediately became anxious.

 

“He came looking for you? Did he threaten or hurt you again?”

 

Song Liqing shook his head. “No.”

 

“Well, that shows he has some decency left,” Pei Xingxu said worriedly. “I was afraid he wouldn’t be able to bear the humiliation and would come to trouble you again. I know his nasty temper; when he goes crazy, he doesn’t care about anything.”

 

Jun Qiyu’s nature was indeed like that. It was rare for him not to make things difficult today.

 

“He came to… apologize.”

 

Song Liqing’s heart felt heavy.

 

“He admitted his mistake?”

 

Pei Xingxu couldn’t believe it but was more concerned about Song Liqing’s reaction.

 

“Liqing, you’re not… softening up, are you? Don’t be fooled by his sweet words. He hurt you so much; how could he genuinely repent so quickly? Your books of wisdom say it’s hard to change one’s nature. Don’t be deceived by his temporary humility.”

 

“I won’t.”

 

Song Liqing gradually calmed down from the turmoil Jun Qiyu had caused. He walked with Pei Xingxu into the mansion.

 

“Liqing!”

 

Jun Qiyu’s voice called from behind. Song Liqing didn’t expect him to have followed all the way.

 

Jun Qiyu took a few steps up the stairs but was blocked by Pei Xingxu.

 

“Pei Xingxu, what do you mean by this?”

 

Jun Qiyu’s gaze turned hostile as he faced Pei Xingxu.

 

“You’re a disaster to Liqing. The farther away you are from him, the better.”

 

Pei Xingxu faced him defiantly.

 

Jun Qiyu’s brow furrowed, his gaze sharp.

 

“Liqing can say that, not you.”

 

Pei Xingxu didn’t back down this time.

 

“Jun Qiyu, don’t forget, Liqing is now free. I have the right to protect the person I admire. What about you? What right do you have to seek him out?”

 

Jun Qiyu knew he was in the wrong but couldn’t stand Pei Xingxu’s attempts to ingratiate himself.

 

“Even if we are temporarily apart… I won’t let you take advantage of this. I won’t allow you near Liqing, understand?”

 

“Liqing can say that too, but not you.”

 

Pei Xingxu returned his words in kind.

 

Jun Qiyu’s face darkened. His jaw clenched so tightly it creaked. If Song Liqing weren’t there, he might have given in to his violent urges.

 

“Pei! Xing! Xu!”

 

Jun Qiyu spat out his name through gritted teeth.

 

“Despicable! Shameless!”

 

Song Liqing sensed the danger in Jun Qiyu’s angry tone.

 

“Jun Qiyu, if you want to make a scene in broad daylight and lose all dignity, go ahead.”

 

Jun Qiyu looked at Song Liqing behind Pei Xingxu. His intimidating aura suddenly subsided significantly.

 

“Liqing… I’m not here to make trouble. I won’t use force. Can we just talk calmly? I’ve been thinking about you nonstop these days. I don’t want you to leave, really.”

 

Jun Qiyu spoke sincerely, but Song Liqing was unmoved.

 

Song Liqing stepped closer and, under Jun Qiyu’s gaze, took Pei Xingxu’s hand.

 

“Xingxu, let’s go inside.”

 

Jun Qiyu’s eyes widened, his mouth agape in shock, then twisted in extreme anger.

 

Even Pei Xingxu was surprised. Song Liqing hadn’t seen him these past few days. Pei Xingxu understood, knowing that after just leaving Jun Qiyu’s life, Song Liqing was in pain and wouldn’t easily accept someone new.

 

But now, Song Liqing took his hand willingly.

 

Pei Xingxu felt the sweat in Song Liqing’s palm and the slight tremble.

 

“Liqing!” Jun Qiyu rushed forward, shouting in anger. “You can’t… you can’t do this to me!”

 

Song Liqing’s voice was muffled. “We have nothing to do with each other anymore, Jun Qiyu. You have no right to control whose hand I hold. Moreover… I’ve decided to try being with Xingxu. Right, Xingxu?”

 

Pei Xingxu was stunned for a moment. He looked into Song Liqing’s eyes, which held a faint plea, and felt Song Liqing’s fingers tighten slightly.

 

“Yes,” Pei Xingxu responded, smiling at him.

 

Jun Qiyu rushed forward and grabbed Song Liqing’s shoulders. In his anger, he didn’t realize his strength, causing Song Liqing pain.

 

“When? Tell me when! You said you and he were innocent. It’s only been three days since our separation, and you… you’re already entangled with him?”

 

“Jun Qiyu!”

 

Pei Xingxu angrily threw off his hand and held Song Liqing in his arms.

 

“Don’t you know how weak he is now? He can’t handle your recklessness! It was me who made the first move. I fell for him at first sight, and I even asked the Emperor for a marriage decree at the banquet. If you want to fight, come at me!”

 

Song Liqing rubbed his shoulder and loudly retorted, “Jun Qiyu, why is it that you can be unfaithful, but I can’t find new love? Call me fickle or promiscuous if you want, but as long as I’m no longer yours, you have no right to criticize me.”

 

Jun Qiyu felt a deep emptiness in his heart.

 

His anger had clouded his judgment, but as soon as he thought about it, he realized the truth. The Song Liqing he knew wasn’t like this.

 

“No! You’re lying! You’re not a frivolous person… You’re doing this to drive me away, to take revenge on me. I know you wouldn’t change your heart so quickly, Liqing. I’ll change; I won’t see Hunuer anymore, or anyone else. Is that okay?”

 

Song Liqing wasn’t moved; instead, it made him feel disgusted.

 

Jun Qiyu knew how to hold a grudge, but did he realize the hurt he caused by bringing Hunuer back to the Qilin Mansion, under Song Liqing’s nose?

 

But Song Liqing didn’t have the strength to argue anymore. He turned and walked into the mansion, his steps unsteady. Pei Xingxu quickly supported his shoulder to help him.

 

Jun Qiyu continued to shout hysterically until Song Liqing disappeared behind the screen wall, out of his sight.

 

“Liqing… do you really… not want me anymore?”

 

Jun Qiyu’s last words made Song Liqing’s heart tremble.

 

The once arrogant Jun Qiyu was now humbly begging?

 

He sounded pitiful, unlike his usual domineering self.

 

Was he really so afraid of losing him?

 

Back in his room, Song Liqing couldn’t speak for a long time.

 

White light streamed through the window lattice, but his vision was blurred. It was as if leaving Jun Qiyu had left his heart equally lost.

 

Pei Xingxu stayed by his side, facing the window. The autumn sunlight was so clear that it almost seemed to shine through Song Liqing’s pale skin.

 

Pei Xingxu’s heartbeat quickened. He would never forget this side profile.

 

“Liqing, you’ve been avoiding me. I’ve wanted to talk to you, but couldn’t.” Pei Xingxu broke the silence.

 

Song Liqing lowered his eyes, no longer looking at the hazy white light.

 

“I’m sorry.”

 

His pale lips parted slightly, speaking those three bitter words.

 

Pei Xingxu felt a pang in his heart. “You haven’t wronged me.”

 

Song Liqing said guiltily, “I used you, and…”

 

Pei Xingxu interrupted him, “I know you said that to fend off Jun Qiyu, to get rid of him.”

 

Pei Xingxu understood everything and always defended him.

 

Song Liqing’s eyes grew warm and wet again. Perhaps the heavens were punishing him too much, which was why they had sent Pei Xingxu to his side.

 

“But I was really happy… even if it was fake.”

 

Pei Xingxu’s bright smile slowly faded, revealing an inescapable loneliness.

 

“It wasn’t fake.”

 

Song Liqing stood up and hugged Pei Xingxu.

 

A tear soaked into Pei Xingxu’s clothes.

 

Pei Xingxu’s pupils constricted, his heart leaping with joy, but his reason kept the joy in check.

 

“You don’t have to do this, Liqing.”

 

Song Liqing looked up, feeling anxious.

 

He asked softly, “Do you think I’m… unclean?”

 

“You know I don’t.”

 

Pei Xingxu cupped Song Liqing’s gaunt face, gently stroking it, wiping away his tears. He was so ill now, with blue shadows under his eyes and clear veins on his forehead, like a delicate jade about to shatter. Pei Xingxu felt nothing but pity.

 

“I know what you’re thinking. You believe your days are numbered, and you owe me a debt, so you feel you must repay it with yourself.”

 

Song Liqing felt numb, unable to think of any other way to repay Pei Xingxu.

 

Whether in feelings or life, he had always owed Pei Xingxu.

 

Pei Xingxu said softly, “I could have kept your secret, stayed with you, and fulfilled your wish. But I can’t, Liqing. I can’t be another person who hurts you. I just want you to be happy in the days to come, without having to flatter, accommodate, or repay anyone.”

 

Song Liqing covered his face, tears flowing nonstop.

 

He wasn’t sad, but relieved. Finally, there was someone who understood his struggles, accepted his flaws, and comforted his grievances.

 

Pei Xingxu was like a serene blue lake, or a distant star, always accompanying him, watching over him, willing to remain silent and far away.

 

“Xingxu, you’re really wonderful.”

 

Pei Xingxu let him cry on his shoulder, gently stroking his hair.

 

“I’m sorry… I can’t love you the way I loved Jun Qiyu.”

 

Song Liqing cried as he spoke.

 

Author’s Note:

 

Good night.