Tan Hua - Chapter 61

The next day, Song Liqing opened his eyes and saw a dim light. He held his fingers up, feeling the light flicker between bright and dim.

 

“Liqing, are you feeling better?”

 

It was Pei Xingxu. His voice was warm and gentle, always able to calm Song Liqing’s impatience and sorrow, while Jun Qiyu’s voice was rich and deep, with an irresistible authority.

 

Song Liqing nodded. “Yes, I can see some light now.”

 

“Then what do I look like right now?” Pei Xingxu asked.

 

Song Liqing looked in Pei Xingxu’s direction.

 

Song Liqing smiled. “You’re just a shadow.”

 

“It’s good to hear that you’re improving. You’ll be alright soon.”

 

Pei Xingxu sat down and took his hand.

 

Song Liqing’s face lit up with joy. Perhaps someday he would really see the light again.

 

Song Liqing felt cold. In the midst of winter, his hands were always icy. Although Pei Xingxu was somewhat better, he was not warm either.

 

“Your hands are also very cold,” Song Liqing said.

 

“I just came in from outside. My hands are still cold,” Pei Xingxu replied, sharing his observations from the day. “It snowed again this morning, and the moat is frozen three feet thick.”

 

“Are there plum blossoms?” Song Liqing asked.

 

“No, plum blossoms prefer moisture. In our harsh and arid land, they are rarely seen,” Pei Xingxu paused and added, “But in April next year, I’ll take you to Xinghua Valley to see the blooming apricot flowers, which are just as beautiful as plum blossoms.”

 

“Alright.”

 

The two fell into silence, the coal stove in the room crackling and popping.

 

“It’s nice here,” Song Liqing said calmly. “I like Loulan. There aren’t many people here, unlike Jingguo, where it’s crowded everywhere, and there’s no peaceful place to be found.”

 

Pei Xingxu said impulsively, “If you like it, then stay here!”

 

“Hmm?” Song Liqing smiled lightly. “I do plan to stay for a while.”

 

“No, what I mean is, no matter what kind of gratitude you owe, I rejected it before because you were too burdened. Today, I bring it up again because I love you,” Pei Xingxu said decisively. “Liqing, marry me.”

 

Song Liqing was stunned. “What?”

 

Pei Xingxu said earnestly, “Marry me and be my queen. We’ll live in Loulan for the rest of our lives, away from worldly troubles, and raise our child well.”

 

Song Liqing didn’t speak.

 

Such a life truly appeals to him.

 

But the past is vivid in his mind, and he wasn’t ready to embrace new love.

 

Is it love between him and Pei Xingxu, or gratitude? Is it mutual affection between lovers or the mutual understanding between friends?

 

Song Liqing couldn’t make sense of it.

 

He had been rash and immature in giving all his love to Jun Qiyu, which neither satisfied Jun Qiyu nor spared him from being hurt.

 

So Song Liqing had to be cautious, no longer daring to make hasty decisions about whom to fall in love with.

 

After a long time, Song Liqing slowly said, “Xingxu, I told you before that I might not be able to love you as I did with Jun Qiyu. Do you remember?”

 

“Yes, I remember,” Pei Xingxu insisted. “But I don’t mind.”

 

Song Liqing slightly parted his lips, his heart softening.

 

To have someone love him so deeply, no one could fail to be moved.

 

“Don’t you think it’s cruel?” Song Liqing asked. “Especially to you.”

 

Pei Xingxu denied it. “You know, meeting you is my fortune. So where is the cruelty?”

 

“It seems cruel, but in reality, it’s sad,” Song Liqing said gloomily. “The human heart cannot be deceived. You can say you don’t love anymore, you can stop thinking about it, but the heart remembers everything—how much love was given, how much hurt was suffered. It knows it all. A blank sheet of paper can only be drawn on once; if it’s done a second time, it’s not a drawing but a careless, incomplete regret… Your love is pure and flawless. I… I don’t deserve it.”

 

Pei Xingxu tightened his grip on his hand.

 

He was pained by Song Liqing’s hesitance. Song Liqing always considered others first, never himself.

 

“I’m not rushing you, Liqing. Take your time to think it over and let me know.”

 

…

 

That night, Song Liqing still pondered the question, unable to sleep.

 

The door creaked open slightly, and Song Liqing thought it was blown open by the wind. He got up to close it and stumbled into a broad chest.

 

He was startled and leaned back, being caught and held in an embrace.

 

A strong smell of alcohol hit him.

 

“Liqing…”

 

Jun Qiyu held him, his head drooping weakly, his face buried in Song Liqing’s shoulder.

 

Song Liqing was shocked. He tried to push Jun Qiyu away, but the large, heavy body was hard to move. Drunk and unsteady, Jun Qiyu almost made Song Liqing collapse.

 

“Jun Qiyu, what are you doing?”

 

“I came to keep you company,” Jun Qiyu said with a hiccup. “The nights in the northwest are very cold. When I first came here, my hands and face cracked from the cold. You must be afraid of the cold too. I came to warm your bed…”

 

“I don’t need it!”

 

“You do.”

 

Jun Qiyu said stubbornly and lifted Song Liqing.

 

He was so drunk and unsteady that he nearly tumbled as he carried Song Liqing to the bed, and they both fell onto it.

 

Song Liqing shivered, mainly from anger, but also from the cold.

 

Jun Qiyu mumbled incoherent drunk talk, pulling up the covers over them both and taking off his outer clothing, holding Song Liqing tightly.

 

A strong warmth spread through Song Liqing. Jun Qiyu was like a little sun, his body heat considerably warmer than Song Liqing’s.

 

Perhaps due to the alcohol, Jun Qiyu’s face was also hot, pressing against Song Liqing’s face.

 

Song Liqing admitted that Jun Qiyu was much stronger than him. Jun Qiyu had endured such harsh conditions in the northwest since he was a child, something Song Liqing might not have been able to handle.

 

He had cold blankets all night.

 

If Pei Xingxu hadn’t had the maid change his hot water bottle every hour, he wouldn’t have survived the long, cold night.

 

“Still… still cold?”

 

Jun Qiyu asked, lifting his leg over Song Liqing’s body, almost covering him entirely, and then forcibly pulling Song Liqing’s hand to his chest.

Jun Qiyu’s skin was incredibly warm. Song Liqing’s frozen, stiff hand felt that this warmth was even more effective than a hot water bottle.

“Liqing… your hands are frostbitten. You’re not well, so I’ll stay with you and warm your hands every day…”

Jun Qiyu rubbed Song Liqing’s hand, and the painful, itchy frostbite on Song Liqing’s hands felt much better.

“Jun Qiyu, stop pretending to be drunk! You’re not even drunk.”

Song Liqing’s voice was cold and cut through his act.

“Get out of here.”

Jun Qiyu paused for a moment at Song Liqing’s rebuke.

“You know me too well. I can’t fool you…”

Jun Qiyu was no longer acting drunk; his tone was soft, more gentle than ever.

He sounded like someone who had endured many grievances.

“Get out now, or I’ll have the guards I called throw you out!”

Jun Qiyu replied in a muffled voice, “The guards at the door are unconscious.”

Song Liqing was infuriated, struggling to breathe. Jun Qiyu always relied on brute force, using his strength without thinking!

But unfortunately, brute force often worked.

“There are patrol guards who will hear us!” Song Liqing threatened.

“Wait! Liqing! Let me explain…”

Jun Qiyu was flustered, anxiously trying to explain.

“Three.”

“I’m not doing anything. I’m just warming your bed.”

“Two.”

“Really, just think of me as a hot water bottle.”

“One.”

Song Liqing reached his limit, ready to shout loudly.

But Jun Qiyu immediately turned and pressed down on him, sealing Song Liqing’s mouth with his lips.

Song Liqing’s eyes widened, almost making him faint from anger.

“You… mmm… get off…”

With his mouth blocked, Song Liqing could only twist his face to utter incoherent words.

Jun Qiyu was unwilling to release him, kissing him insistently and preventing him from speaking.

Song Liqing had no choice but to punch and kick Jun Qiyu.

But he was already weak, and Jun Qiyu was resilient, so hitting him only hurt Song Liqing more. Jun Qiyu remained unmoved, unaffected by the strikes.

Fearing that Song Liqing might make a noise and attract attention, Jun Qiyu’s long legs trapped Song Liqing’s, and he grabbed Song Liqing’s flailing hands, interlocking their fingers tightly, trapping him completely.

Song Liqing felt hopeless. What could he do?

After struggling for a long time, Song Liqing exhausted his strength, while Jun Qiyu easily subdued him.

Being held down like this was extremely uncomfortable, causing Song Liqing to break into a cold sweat and breathe heavily.

“Mmm…”

Seeing Song Liqing stop struggling, their eyes met. Though Song Liqing couldn’t see him, Jun Qiyu hadn’t been this close to him in a long time. Those clear, cold eyes, even when angry, were so captivating.

Jun Qiyu’s affection overflowed uncontrollably.

He started kissing Song Liqing.

Even if Song Liqing resisted, Jun Qiyu forcefully parted his lips and managed to pry open his mouth with his tongue.

Just as Jun Qiyu was immersed in his passion, the sharp pain on his tongue made him pull away, grimacing as he inhaled through his mouth.

“Hiss—”

The pain made Jun Qiyu silent for a while. Swallowing again, he realized his tongue was bitten and bleeding, with a metallic taste filling his mouth.

“Liqing, you really bite hard.”

“Do you think I’m flirting with you?!”

Song Liqing was furious, his chest heaving, wishing he could bite Jun Qiyu’s tongue off in his anger.

“Liqing…”

Jun Qiyu’s gaze was fiery. He had many things he wanted to say, but at this moment, holding Song Liqing, he only uttered four words.

“I missed you so much.”

After saying that, Jun Qiyu buried his head, his long-suppressed emotions now stirred by the pain, becoming restless.

This was the person he had missed for so long, now finally back in his arms.

Jun Qiyu’s eyes grew warm as he sought affection on Song Liqing’s delicate, graceful neck.

“I missed you so much… Liqing… I missed you so much…”

Author’s Note:

Good night~