Tan Hua - Chapter 62

Jun Qiyu’s words came from the heart.

 

Holding Song Liqing close, Jun Qiyu wanted to press him into his body, inhaling his unique, elegant fragrance, overwhelmed by his emotions.

 

“Liqing, I’ve been almost going mad searching for you these days. I’ve never anticipated seeing someone so much before. Now I understand what longing feels like. It’s unbearable, Liqing…”

 

As Jun Qiyu spoke half-drunkenly, he nuzzled and kissed Song Liqing’s ear and neck like a bull.

 

Song Liqing could hear his heavy breathing and feel his burning cheeks.

 

Perhaps Jun Qiyu was speaking from the heart, but Song Liqing remained unmoved, feeling only dizzy from the alcohol.

 

“Jun Qiyu, get off me. Stop acting drunk and making a scene.”

 

Song Liqing wanted to scold him more harshly, but having never learned to curse, and feeling weak, his voice was soft.

 

“I’m not leaving,” Jun Qiyu mumbled. “I want to be close to you.”

 

Song Liqing was furious.

 

“You’re shameless. Do you think I have to agree to whatever you want?”

 

“I know you won’t agree, but this is my true feeling. I want you… I promise I’ll be gentler and won’t hurt you.”

 

Jun Qiyu began to undo the buttons of Song Liqing’s thin robe, but Song Liqing grabbed his hands.

 

Song Liqing was so angry that his voice trembled, “I don’t care whether you’re gentle or rough. Jun Qiyu, if you’re just a beast, go find a brothel or your servants outside. Don’t bother me!”

 

Jun Qiyu looked up, eyes open in confusion.

 

“Why? I just want to be close to you, not anyone else.”

 

Song Liqing felt like he was talking to a cow. After all, Jun Qiyu was the crown prince of Jing. To him, not knowing what chastity means or having thousands of beauties in his harem was normal. Moreover, he had adopted the open habits of the Western Regions and didn’t understand why Song Liqing was so repulsed.

 

Song Liqing, tired of arguing, ground his teeth.

 

“Because… I find you disgusting! Understand? If you’ve touched others, don’t even think about touching me!”

 

“Oh, so you’ve always minded that…”

 

Jun Qiyu finally understood.

 

He thought for a moment.

 

“Liqing, if you minded, why didn’t you tell me earlier?”

 

“I don’t have anything to do with you now, so there’s no point in telling you.”

 

Song Liqing tried to make it clear, emphasizing how out of bounds Jun Qiyu was.

 

“Liqing! Don’t treat me like this. Please.”

 

Jun Qiyu was desperate, forcefully embracing Song Liqing and kissing him. No matter how Song Liqing pushed or hit him, Jun Qiyu remained still, unbuttoning Song Liqing’s robe with his hands.

 

Song Liqing was horrified, tears streaming from his eyes uncontrollably in his panic.

 

“Jun Qiyu! You bastard…”

 

Jun Qiyu’s kisses moved down to Song Liqing’s smooth neck, his hands exploring his soft skin.

 

Song Liqing, who couldn’t see, felt the sensations amplified, his whole body enveloped by Jun Qiyu’s presence, invading without restraint.

 

Song Liqing’s rationality was shattered, feeling warmth spreading through him. The sensation was pleasant, like lying in hot water, making him relax.

 

But his heart grew colder… colder…

 

His pupils lost focus, staring blankly at the endless night sky.

 

Jun Qiyu touched what he wanted to prove.

 

“Liqing, you say you have no feelings for me, but you clearly want this too, don’t you?”

 

Jun Qiyu said excitedly.

 

But the next moment, Jun Qiyu noticed the profound despair in Song Liqing’s eyes amidst the dimness.

 

Tears streamed down Song Liqing’s cheeks, but he wasn’t crying, making the tears look helpless, lonely, and cool.

 

Jun Qiyu’s heart ached, and he dared not be so reckless anymore.

 

Song Liqing slowly parted his lips, “Go on? Why did you stop?”

 

Jun Qiyu lowered his head, feeling a deep discomfort. He had forcibly proven that Song Liqing’s body still responded to him, but in a way Song Liqing disliked.

 

“I just wanted to prove that you still love me…”

 

Jun Qiyu said weakly, his voice growing quieter.

 

“Jun Qiyu, what do you take me for?” Song Liqing’s face showed cold derision, “Just because you want it, does that mean you can take whatever you want?”

 

“I didn’t!” Jun Qiyu quickly denied, “I absolutely didn’t think that way!”

 

Song Liqing retrieved his clothes and buttoned them up one by one.

 

“You think about those things every day, like everyone is fair game? I have desires, but I only give them to the person I love. Jun Qiyu, you don’t deserve it now!”

 

Jun Qiyu was stunned, not expecting to be called “fair game.”

 

“What do you mean, ‘the person I love’?” Jun Qiyu noted, “Aren’t I the person you love? Liqing, you said you would love me for a lifetime, never leaving me. You mentioned Pei Xingxu? Impossible. You’re just putting on an act to provoke me. Do you think I can’t see through it?”

 

Song Liqing recalled Pei Xingxu’s words from earlier that day.

 

Initially, Song Liqing had hesitated, feeling he couldn’t give Pei Xingxu his wholehearted love and would only end up disappointing his intense feelings.

 

But enraged by Jun Qiyu, he blurted out.

 

“I’m not pretending. He was willing to sacrifice his life to save me, which shows his true feelings. Now that I’m free, I’ve agreed to marry him!”

 

Jun Qiyu was stunned, unable to believe it.

 

“You… you’re lying to me again? Liqing, are you rejecting me?”

 

“On the day of the wedding, you’ll see if I’m lying.”

 

Song Liqing coldly replied, not only for Jun Qiyu but also to convince himself.

 

Some decisions needed to be forced upon oneself.

 

Song Liqing waited quietly, expecting Jun Qiyu to rage, but Jun Qiyu stood there for a while, not erupting or acting out.

 

“Liqing…”

 

As Jun Qiyu spoke, a tear fell from his eye.

 

Song Liqing frowned, surprised to hear the choking sound in Jun Qiyu’s voice.

 

“How can you be so heartless?”

 

Song Liqing was unaccustomed to Jun Qiyu’s sudden show of weakness and responded coldly.

 

“You should ask yourself that.”

 

“You… don’t want me anymore? Have you abandoned me?” Jun Qiyu said dejectedly. “Without you, there’s hardly anyone who genuinely cares for me in this world, Liqing.”

 

Song Liqing wasn’t swayed.

 

“You’re the crown prince, showered with all kinds of favor. What’s there to feel sorry for yourself about?”

 

“Besides the emperor and my father, no one truly cares for me. Those ministers and palace servants flatter and fawn on me just to gain something from me. The noble families wish for my death so they can stir up trouble, and that damned Hu Nuer! Liqing, you’re the only one who cared about me, who truly wanted me to be a good prince and a good ruler. You always restrained me, which annoyed me. It’s only in these past few months that I realized, ‘harsh words are hard to take but benefit the actions.’ Liqing, I’ve changed. After going through so much to find you, are you really going to abandon me?”

 

Jun Qiyu was reflecting on himself for once.

 

Song Liqing was deeply surprised.

 

He knew Jun Qiyu’s stubborn and proud nature, so seeing him humble himself like this was a rare sight.

 

“Who would make the same mistake twice? You’ve already hurt my feelings. Now you come and tell me you’ve reformed? Jun Qiyu, you’re being too arrogant.”

 

“It’s not making the same mistake!” Jun Qiyu said anxiously. “I’m really different now. Liqing, give me another chance! I’ll prove it to you!”

 

“No need.”

 

Song Liqing shook his head.

 

“Liqing!”

 

Jun Qiyu shouted, his breathing heavy.

 

“Don’t push me… If you push me too far, I’ll do anything!”

 

“Oh.”

 

Song Liqing responded indifferently.

 

“Uh…?”

 

Jun Qiyu’s urgent and impatient pleas, almost bordering on threats, received only a single word: “Oh.”

 

Jun Qiyu couldn’t believe there was a response colder than “oh.”

 

“I won’t let you marry Pei Xingxu! I’ll do whatever it takes!”

 

Jun Qiyu blustered, but to Song Liqing, it sounded like impotent fury.

 

Jun Qiyu did indeed have power and influence, and he might be able to forcibly take Song Liqing away. 

 

But now, he had a weakness, and with a weakness came hesitation.

 

Song Liqing was his weakness.

 

“Are you done? If you’re done, then leave. I’m tired.”

 

Song Liqing pulled his blanket tightly around himself, to protect against the wind and prevent catching a cold.

 

He was still warm, thanks to Jun Qiyu’s earlier embrace.

 

At this moment, Jun Qiyu was worth no more than a hot water bottle, as he himself admitted.

 

“Liqing…” Jun Qiyu called from behind.

 

“Don’t call me that.” Song Liqing replied with his back turned. “Go back to Jing. Whether you become an enlightened prince or a foolish monarch, don’t let me know.”

 

Jun Qiyu clenched his fists, veins protruding on his forehead.

 

“I’m not going back.” Jun Qiyu said firmly. “We’ll go back together.”

 

Song Liqing didn’t respond.

 

Jun Qiyu sat in silence for a while.

 

“Liqing, you say your heart has grown cold. Can you tell me what I need to do to warm it up again? Just tell me, and I’ll do it.”

 

Even wrapped in thick blankets, Song Liqing looked small, and Jun Qiyu watched him from behind.

 

“I’ll wait for you, Liqing. I’ll wait for you to change your mind.”