Tan Hua - Chapter 69

Song Liqing said this, and Jun Qiyu felt a sudden wave of anxiety.

 

“We shouldn’t talk about this… it’s not auspicious.”

 

Jun Qiyu said in a low voice.

 

Song Liqing chuckled lightly and said with a hint of nostalgia, “Jun Qiyu, you’ve always been someone who believes your fate is in your own hands. Why are you suddenly adhering to superstitions?”

 

“That’s because I used to fear nothing,” Jun Qiyu replied solemnly. “Now I’m afraid.”

 

Song Liqing teased, “Is there really something you’re afraid of?”

 

Jun Qiyu blurted out, “I’m afraid of losing you.”

 

Song Liqing’s heart skipped a beat.

 

After feeling numb for so long, he suddenly felt a pang of reluctance.

 

“It took so long to get better…” Song Liqing muttered.

 

“What?” Jun Qiyu didn’t catch that.

 

“Nothing,” Song Liqing didn’t want to bring it up again.

 

Jun Qiyu wrapped the cloak tighter around Song Liqing and asked, “Liqing, aren’t you going to sleep? It’s really late.”

 

“I’m not tired. Let’s talk a little longer.”

 

They leaned against each other, like ordinary lovers, talking about everything under the sun, unable to sleep through the night.

 

By dawn, when the first light of day appeared, the mist over the warm springs thickened. Song Liqing felt his strength gradually fading; supporting himself was becoming tiring, so he hugged his legs and rested his chin on his knees.

 

“Jun Qiyu, I don’t blame you for bringing me to the desert. In fact, I’ve wanted to come here for a long time. I’ve longed for this ever since I read about the mountains and rivers. If it weren’t for this opportunity, I might never have come to the Western Regions… This is the second happiest time of my life.”

 

Song Liqing’s tone was soft and lazy, laced with drowsiness.

 

He hated Jun Qiyu, yet his most carefree and free-spirited moments were spent in Jun Qiyu’s company.

 

“I’ve done nothing significant in my life, just wasted my eyes away. I’ve neither become an official nor written great poems, and I’ll never be remembered in history. The pleasures of the world feel so distant. If I were to just die in a room in the capital, it wouldn’t be worth it. I should thank you, Jun Qiyu.”

 

Song Liqing spoke lightly, but Jun Qiyu’s heart grew heavier.

 

He sensed that Song Liqing’s words held deeper meaning, perhaps even a hint of resignation…

 

“If you like it, I’ll take you to see all the wonders of the world in the future.” Jun Qiyu vowed, “Liqing, that’s my promise. I will make it happen, as long as you no longer hate me…”

 

“In the future… in the future…”

 

Song Liqing pondered those two words.

 

“I don’t hate you anymore.” Song Liqing shook his head, “I don’t hate you anymore.”

 

Jun Qiyu was elated but found no joy in it.

 

Was Song Liqing’s “not hating” genuine, or just that he no longer had time to hate?

 

Suddenly, Song Liqing chuckled, “I have a pretty good temper. Even those who bullied me when I was younger became my friends later.”

 

“Qi Miao and the others?” Jun Qiyu said, feeling indignant on his behalf. “That was your tolerance. If it were me, I would have taken revenge.”

 

Back then, Jun Qiyu was a little tyrant; his first moment of tenderness was seeing Song Liqing cry.

 

That was when Jun Qiyu first learned to care for someone else.

 

The older noble students at the academy would mock Song Liqing’s father, calling him a brothel owner, insulting Song Liqing, and stealing his food. It got worse—whenever Song Liqing passed by, they would throw stones at him.

 

The stones were sharp, leaving Song Liqing bruised and wounded.

 

So, despite his young age, the strong-willed Jun Qiyu stood up for him, making those bullies too scared to act again.

 

Unbeknownst to him, five-year-old Jun Qiyu was the first to stand in front of Song Liqing, becoming his protector.

 

Song Liqing’s eyelids began to droop, and he rubbed his eyes to stay awake.

 

He casually asked, “Jun Qiyu, when will the sun come out?”

 

Jun Qiyu looked to the east, calculating the time before replying.

 

“It should be about half an hour until sunrise.”

 

“Good, when it rises, I want to take a good look. If I can’t see clearly, you have to tell me.”

 

Jun Qiyu promised, “Okay.”

 

Song Liqing yawned and stretched.

 

“But I can’t hold on much longer. I’ll take a nap for a bit, and when the sun comes up, remember to wake me.”

 

“Why don’t you sleep on my lap?”

 

This time, Song Liqing didn’t refuse. He was too tired, feeling like someone was pulling him down into a deep sleep.

 

Song Liqing rested his head on Jun Qiyu’s thigh, closing his eyes.

 

Jun Qiyu looked down at his profile, his sharp jawline and thin lips resting softly, his gentle breaths forming small puffs of white mist. Everything about him exuded the calmness and warmth he always had.

 

What a wonderful person…

 

Jun Qiyu thought to himself, *Such a good person.* He had never even seen Song Liqing get angry before. He never argued with anyone, never even raised his voice in a debate.

 

Family, lovers, enemies—he had never wronged a single one of them. Even with the servants, he treated them with kindness and respect, never looking down on them. Even his enemies, he never hated nor sought revenge.

 

How could there be someone so gentle in this world?

 

Jun Qiyu gazed toward the east. A faint hint of red appeared in the sky.

 

Today, the sunrise felt especially slow. He kept waiting and waiting, but it never seemed to come. Impatience began to creep into Jun Qiyu’s heart.

 

“Just fifteen more minutes at most…”

 

Jun Qiyu glanced at the horizon, then at Song Liqing, feeling that time was dragging on endlessly.

 

“It’s almost here… soon, you’ll be able to see it.”

 

When the sun finally rose over the snowy mountain peaks, a smile broke across Jun Qiyu’s face. The vast snow-covered mountains and the lake, frozen for miles, were bathed in golden red by the morning sun.

 

“Liqing! Liqing! The sun is up! Can you see it?”

 

Song Liqing didn’t respond.

 

Jun Qiyu continued, “Liqing, you’ve probably never seen such a magnificent sunrise.”

 

His gaze softened as he held Song Liqing tightly, not moving a muscle.

 

“You’re just tired, aren’t you? When you wake up, I’ll describe it all to you.”

 

Jun Qiyu watched the sun rise slowly over the snow-capped mountains. He didn’t blink, trying to memorize every minute detail so that he could recount it when Song Liqing woke up.

 

By the lake, Jun Qiyu sat holding Song Liqing, as still as a statue, like a figure carved from ice.

 

“Your Highness,”

 

Su Zhao, who had been tied to the saddle all night, finally managed to speak.

 

Jun Qiyu didn’t respond, still staring in a daze at the golden sunlit mountains.

 

“Your Highness…” Su Zhao called louder this time.

 

Jun Qiyu furrowed his brow and whispered, “Don’t make noise. You’ll wake him.”

 

Su Zhao fell silent for a moment, then suddenly whispered three words.

 

“He’s dead.”

 

The words rang out like a thunderclap. Jun Qiyu’s previously calm expression darkened instantly, colder than the frost.

 

“Don’t talk nonsense, or I’ll kill you,” Jun Qiyu snarled through gritted teeth.

 

“I’m telling the truth. He really is dead…” Su Zhao insisted, “Look at him, he’s not even breathing.”

 

Jun Qiyu’s body went rigid, a terrifying aura radiating from him.

 

“Shut up!”

 

Jun Qiyu growled like a lion provoked, his voice low and dangerous.

 

Su Zhao was so terrified that he didn’t dare say another word. Jun Qiyu was truly frightening—one more word, and Su Zhao feared he might actually be torn in two.

 

*He’s already… stopped breathing. How can he still refuse to face it?* Su Zhao thought to himself in disbelief.

 

Jun Qiyu had been holding Song Liqing the whole time. How could he not feel his breaths growing weaker and his pulse fading?

 

But he didn’t dare acknowledge it, and he couldn’t accept it.

 

He would rather believe that Song Liqing was simply tired, just asleep.

 

As long as he slept well, he would wake up again, just like before, staying by Jun Qiyu’s side.

 

“He won’t.”

 

Jun Qiyu slowly lowered his eyes, gazing at the fine frost crystals on Song Liqing’s eyelashes.

 

“Liqing… I know you’re just asleep. I’ll wait for you.”

 

Drip—

 

Jun Qiyu didn’t even realize that one of his own tears had fallen onto Song Liqing’s cheek.

 

Panic-stricken, he quickly wiped it away, afraid he would disturb Song Liqing’s sleep.

 

Then he wiped his own tears, but no matter how hard he tried, they kept flowing, seemingly endless.

 

“Don’t cry… Why am I crying? Liqing… he’s not… he won’t die!”

 

Jun Qiyu lifted Song Liqing into his arms, pressing his face against his own.

 

The icy coldness of Song Liqing’s skin pierced him.

 

The sting snapped Jun Qiyu out of his denial.

 

“Liqing… don’t do this. You promised you’d never leave me. You can’t break your promise. I was wrong, I really know I was wrong this time. Don’t ignore me, don’t ignore me, please…”

 

Jun Qiyu muttered softly, barely aware of his own words. If one looked closely, they’d see his lips turning blue and trembling uncontrollably.

 

His hot tears kept falling, cooling as they dropped.

 

By the vast, desolate lake, he finally broke down from silent weeping to soft sobs, and then into uncontrollable wailing.

 

“Liqing, don’t leave me… I can’t live without you… sob…”

 

At that moment, Jun Qiyu’s pride crumbled. He no longer cared about his image, crying in a way he never had before.

 

Jun Qiyu, who had always been headstrong and stubborn, had never imagined that someone could penetrate so deeply into his heart, take root in his soul. And now, with that person ripped away, it hurt unbearably.

 

When Song Liqing had been betrothed to him, Jun Qiyu never thought he would fall in love with him. Even when Song Liqing stood in court and demanded a divorce, Jun Qiyu hadn’t felt this level of agony—then, it had been mostly anger and frustration.

 

Some people, only when they are truly lost forever, do you realize how important they are.

 

The pain of losing someone is boundless.

 

Like the night, once it falls, the world loses all color and is consumed by darkness.

 

Because it is hopeless.

 

Jun Qiyu held Song Liqing tightly, their bodies pressed together.

 

The winter sky was overcast with clouds again, and snow began to fall over the lake. Jun Qiyu sheltered Song Liqing beneath him, as if by warming him, he could somehow keep him alive.

 

Snow piled thickly on Jun Qiyu’s body. He had no idea how long he had been sitting there, unmoving.

 

“Hey…” Su Zhao finally couldn’t help but speak. “If you keep this up… he’ll really be gone for good.”