The Demon Lord Wants a Vacation - Chapter 1: So Annoying

If three words could be used to describe Duanmu Wuqiu’s life, they would definitely be—tired to death.

Add three more words, and it becomes—annoyed to death.

He was originally just a street urchin scavenging for food in a garbage heap, when he was captured by a demonic cultivator who sought to break through to the Golden Core stage and used him for cultivation.

That demonic cultivator had captured a group of young boys, taught them basic cultivation techniques, and forced them to duel day and night. The victors earned food and brief rest, while the losers were taken away by the cultivator, never to be seen again—presumably met with a grim fate.

The cultivator intended to use the bloodlust generated during the battles, along with the ferocity and the resentment of the defeated, to fuel a formation that would help him break through to the Golden Core stage.

Cultivators perceive time differently from ordinary people, and that demonic cultivator could afford to spend decades preparing this formation.

Duanmu Wuqiu survived in that environment for ten long years, barely scraping through his adolescence.

Ten fleeting years to the demonic cultivator were, for Duanmu Wuqiu, an excruciating decade.

He wanted to sleep, to rest, to find an uninhabited mountain wilderness and sleep for decades, to make up for all the rest he had lost over the years.

At first, young Duanmu Wuqiu thought that winning would grant him sleep. But before he had even slept for three hours, he was whipped awake and forced to fight again.

Gradually, Duanmu Wuqiu realized that only by eliminating the man behind the formation—who stood high above them all—could he attain true freedom.

And so, like countless protagonists in novels and storybooks, he became the final victor in the arena. When the demonic cultivator tried to refine him along with the formation, he successfully struck back and killed him, seizing all his power and becoming a Golden Core stage demonic cultivator himself in one leap.

How exactly he achieved it, Duanmu Wuqiu couldn’t say. He only remembered that at the final moment, the formation being refined acknowledged him instead of the cultivator as its master.

Later, after Duanmu Wuqiu caught up on cultivation theory, he finally understood why he had been able to turn defeat into victory—it was because his ambition and desire far exceeded those of the demonic cultivator.

Cultivating the Dao is also cultivating the heart. Great power must be matched with an equally strong mindset to be wielded properly.

For righteous cultivators, this mindset meant unity with heaven and earth. For demonic cultivators, it meant ambition and desire.

One needed immense desire to contain the power, and even greater ambition to suppress that desire—only then would the domineering qi not give birth to inner demons.

Duanmu Wuqiu’s yearning for rest far surpassed that demonic cultivator’s desire for the Golden Core stage.

And so he won.

Who says wanting to sleep, to rest, to laze around isn’t a powerful desire?

After slaying the demonic cultivator, Duanmu Wuqiu thought he could finally get a good sleep.

Who knew that even among demonic cultivators, there was infighting and devouring? A more powerful demonic sect attacked the lair Duanmu Wuqiu had just taken over, forcing him to become a subordinate of that sect.

That sect treated captured demonic cultivators like beasts of burden, forcing Duanmu Wuqiu to use alchemical flames to refine vengeful spirits. They claimed to be creating the greatest evil weapon under heaven and earth.

Just as his alchemical flames were about to be exhausted, Duanmu Wuqiu came to another realization—unless he destroyed this sect, he would never get to rest.

His overwhelming desire for rest attracted the attention of the evil weapon on the verge of being born. On the day the fiendish artifact came into existence, it voluntarily acknowledged him as its master and helped him wipe out the demonic sect.

Having ascended to the Nascent Soul stage, Duanmu Wuqiu stroked the evil weapon and solemnly promised, “No one will ever force you to work again. I’ll take you to rest now.”

The evil weapon hummed joyfully. From the moment it was forged, it had fused with Duanmu Wuqiu’s wish. Its dream upon birth was to lie buried in dust and never be burned by fire again—it loathed fighting.

But the good times didn’t last long. News of the evil weapon’s birth drew countless covetous demonic cultivators. The sect Duanmu Wuqiu had just acquired was quickly surrounded.

By this point, Duanmu Wuqiu was an adult and had come to understand many of life’s principles. He finally grasped one truth—these bastard demonic cultivators would never let him rest!

To realize his dream, he had to become the supreme being among demonic cultivators—the Supreme Sovereign!

With his equally lazy weapon in hand, Duanmu Wuqiu took the initiative to strike. After decades of bloodshed in the demonic realm, he finally, at the age of ninety, unified the chaotic demonic world and became its undisputed ruler.

He stood atop a small mountain made of bones, gazing down at the kneeling demonic cultivators below. His robes billowed in the sharp wind, like a god of slaughter descending to the world.

Duanmu Wuqiu swept his gaze over the subordinates bowed beneath him, revealing a bloodthirsty smile that made every demon below him shudder.

Little did they know, at that moment, Duanmu Wuqiu was actually disdaining the bone mountain under his feet—it was ugly and it stank. He resolved that in the future, he must get a bed made of golden-thread nanmu wood, lay soft cushions on it, burn elegant incense, and live a life of complete leisure.

His dream could finally come true!

To rest and enjoy himself properly, Duanmu Wuqiu claimed a beautiful valley, raised poultry and livestock, planted grains and vegetables, dug a pond to raise fish, and used his power to build an estate—all in preparation for a comfortable retirement.

He had prepared everything. Just as he was about to begin a retreat in name and a vacation in truth, a subordinate came up to him and whispered, “My Lord, we have uncovered the tangled relationships between the righteous sects.”

“Hmm?” Duanmu Wuqiu’s heart skipped a beat. “Are the righteous sects planning to attack our Taoyuan Sect?”

Taoyuan Sect was the name he had chosen for the new demonic sect he founded. It expressed his desire to avoid strife and live a peaceful life like in the poem: “Plucking chrysanthemums by the eastern fence, I gaze serenely at the southern mountains.”

The subordinate shook his head. “Those Daoist priests and bald monks of the righteous path are not united. Without some major incident, how would they muster the strength to attack our Escape Abyss Sect? It’s us who want to unify the entire cultivation world—we must strike first!”

Duanmu Wuqiu had imagined his sect to be a Peach Blossom Spring paradise, but in his subordinates’ minds, a demonic sect must naturally be an inescapable abyss.

Naming the sect “Escape Abyss Sect” really did sound a bit unpleasant. But the subordinates, intimidated by Duanmu Wuqiu’s strength and ruthlessness, dared not raise any objections. Duanmu Wuqiu, too lazy to hang a proper plaque for the Taoyuan Sect, had allowed this misunderstanding born of his poor naming skills to silently spread among the demonic cultivators.

“Oh? Who told you I wanted to strike first?” Duanmu Wuqiu fixed his gaze on this subordinate.

The subordinate, named Xiao Hongzhou, thought he had guessed the Sovereign’s thoughts and enthusiastically declared, “My Lord is at the prime of life and should naturally make achievements that will be remembered in history.

“My Lord united the demonic path with iron-blooded methods in such a short time—surely you cannot be content with merely the demonic world. Next must come the unification of the cultivation world, domination of the realm, until all under heaven belongs to our Escape Abyss Sect.

“I am willing to serve at your side, to charge into battle for your grand cause, and to die ten thousand deaths without regret!”

The killing intent in Duanmu Wuqiu’s eyes was nearly overflowing.

Prime of life? He was already ninety years old! Shouldn’t mortals at ninety be lounging in rocking chairs basking in the sun every day? Mortals could steal some rest even amid their busyness—so why, after ninety years of nonstop toil, couldn’t he sleep through the night?!

Eighty years. A full eighty years!

Ever since he had been taken by that Golden Core demonic cultivator at age ten, he had not rested properly for eighty years. Who could understand that kind of suffering?!

Why the hell was he still being worked like a mule even after becoming the Demonic Sovereign?!

Duanmu Wuqiu sought nothing his entire life—only to get a good sleep. Was that one wish really too much to ask?

Xiao Hongzhou mistook Duanmu Wuqiu’s murderous intent for affirmation that he had correctly guessed the Demon Lord’s ambitions. Deeply encouraged, he launched into an impassioned monologue about his grand plans for conquest.

He rattled on, spittle flying, for a good half-hour. Duanmu Wuqiu, half-closing his eyes, let the words go in one ear and out the other, mentally translating everything into: “Respected Lord, you need to get busy; Respected Lord, how can you rest in such fine weather; Respected Lord, hurry and get to work!”

By the time he finished speaking, Duanmu Wuqiu was already softly snoring with his eyes half-closed.

“Respected Lord?” Xiao Hongzhou looked at Duanmu Wuqiu’s face, unreadable as always, devoid of expression, impossible to read, and called out with great anticipation.

Duanmu Wuqiu came back to his senses, recalled what Xiao Hongzhou had said, and managed to extract one useful piece of information. He said, “You just said the Frostflower Palace in the Polar Night Snowfield is full of beautiful women perfect for dual cultivation, and we can capture them to help boost the cultivation of Taoyuan Sect disciples?”

“Yes! Compared to the united righteous sects, we’re still slightly lacking in power. If we want to rapidly increase our strength, the best method is dual cultivation—absorbing the cultivation of Frostflower Palace disciples to make it our own,” Xiao Hongzhou replied.

Duanmu Wuqiu said, “And you also said that the hardest part of breaking into Frostflower Palace is the natural icy formation in the Polar Night Snowfield. To attack them, we’ll need to go to Cangyan Mountain to obtain earthfire and forge a True Flame Body, so we can enter and exit Frostflower Palace freely?”

“Yes!” Xiao Hongzhou affirmed. “The power of the earthfire is boundless—only a supreme master like you can withstand it. After training within the earthfire for forty-nine days, your cultivation will be complete.”

Duanmu Wuqiu nodded slightly and said, “Very well, then you go.”

Xiao Hongzhou, hearing Duanmu Wuqiu’s approval, grew excited and exclaimed, “Once we obtain the earthfire, we’ll take down Frostflower Palace in less than two months! By then—wait… Respected Lord, who did you say is going to train in Cangyan Mountain?”

“You,” Duanmu Wuqiu said, standing up.

Xiao Hongzhou pointed at his own nose and stammered, “B-but Respected Lord, my cultivation is lacking. If I go to Cangyan Mountain, I’ll be incinerated—body and soul—in less than a month. I won’t last the forty-nine days needed to forge the True Flame Body…”

Duanmu Wuqiu once again showed that bloodthirsty, pleased smile. “My most beloved virtue is leading by example. If you want to attack Frostflower Palace, then you must strive for it yourself. You can’t place your dreams on me—handle your own business, understand?

“Of course, I am also a helpful person. Since you have such lofty aspirations, I shall lend you a hand.”

With that, Duanmu Wuqiu grabbed Xiao Hongzhou and, at lightning speed, flew toward Cangyan Mountain, tossing Xiao Hongzhou into the volcano crater.

“Wait—Respected Lord, I—ARGHHH!!!” Xiao Hongzhou only had time to let out a blood-curdling scream.

Duanmu Wuqiu set up a formation at the crater to prevent Xiao Hongzhou from escaping.

He patted the nonexistent dust from his robe and nodded in satisfaction.

With Xiao Hongzhou as a warning, let’s see who else dares to push this Lord to do work.

After dealing with the overly ambitious demon cultivators in Taoyuan Sect and beating the demonic world back into submission with his own hands, the Demon Lord finally had no more interruptions to his rest.

Duanmu Wuqiu returned to the mountain valley he had prepared for himself, lay comfortably on the recliner beside the pond, placed a fishing rod nearby, and closed his eyes, ready to enjoy his long-awaited vacation.

Just as he closed his eyes, a voice echoed in his mind: [Ding. Binding complete. Confirmed host identity: Duanmu Wuqiu. World-Destruction System has been activated.]

Duanmu Wuqiu: “?”

World-Destruction System: [Duanmu Wuqiu lived a life of solitude, severed from kin, enduring endless torment. The world has given you nothing but pain. You hate this world—you wish to destroy it.]

Duanmu Wuqiu: “??”

World-Destruction System: [Your current cultivation is still far from that of a World-Destroying Overlord. The System will assist you in improving your strength and realizing your dream. First, go to the Falling Cloud Valley and temper your body with gale-force winds to forge an Indestructible Golden Body.]

Duanmu Wuqiu: “???”

Will it never end?!