The falling beauty - Chapter 21

“Gently…” Ling’an Che coaxed her in a low, gentle voice, but his eyes were full of heartache.

Tears welled up in Mo Jin’er’s eyes. She straightened up, trying to kiss him, but she was too weak and could only reach his mouth corner.

Feeling anxious and uncomfortable, she started to sob softly.

Ling’an Che, helpless, his voice slightly hoarse, helped her suppress…

No matter how much he suppressed, the effect of the aphrodisiac was too strong. After she finally fell asleep, he leaned down and gently kissed her forehead, whispering, “I’m sorry.”

He had let her suffer such torment. Perhaps he could disregard his own feelings and take advantage of her under the influence of the drug, but he knew her constitution and that she couldn’t handle it.

So no matter how much he desired her, he could only endure it, not only helping her suppress it but also controlling himself.

He never thought there would be a day when he had to control himself, having always been so willful…

Indeed, compared to before, life was much more joyful. Although he was physically pleased, his heart grew heavy. Jin’er clung to him more than before, even to the point of crying if she didn’t see him for a day.

His indulgence towards her was evident to everyone in the mansion.

Su Qinqin’s method of suppression had some effect. Mo Jin’er knew something was wrong with her. Sometimes she missed Ling’an Che intensely, even though she resisted it deep down, she ultimately lost herself.

She had also become bolder than before, seeking out Ling’an Che in the garden, behind the rockery, the study, and so on…

Whenever she longed for him, he would always be gentle with her.

Days passed quietly, and Mo Jin’er often felt muddled. Sometimes she wanted to visit the Duke’s Mansion, but upon leaving the General’s Mansion and seeing it, she only found a desolate, sealed-off residence.

She was unhappy, feeling an indescribable sense of melancholy, sometimes even wanting to cry without reason, though she controlled her emotions in front of others.

Baozhu, trying to cheer her up, took her to a pavilion as a surprise.

She had surprisingly developed a talent for mechanics, creating strange weapons.

Mo Jin’er was amazed by what she saw.

The pavilion was set up exclusively for Baozhu, filled with materials for her mechanical creations.

However, there were some issues. One of the mechanical snakes suddenly malfunctioned, crashing into things and triggering other devices.

She pushed Mo Jin’er aside to protect her, and they both struggled to cope with the situation. Seeing the silk arrows flying towards her, Mo Jin’er rushed over to shield her.

Hearts pounding, everything eventually calmed down, and servants rushed in.

“Princess!”

Naturally, everyone was concerned about Baozhu, and Mo Jin’er noticed her hand was injured and bleeding. She was slightly dazed, grabbing Baozhu’s hand, “It’s cut, does it hurt…”

She frowned slightly, instinctively caring for her, then took a handkerchief to bandage her wound.

When Ling’an Che arrived and saw everyone fussing over them, he frowned slightly, walked over, and took Mo Jin’er’s hand.

Mo Jin’er blushed, feeling strange again, her breathing growing rapid as she looked at him with moist, misty eyes.

“You’re hurt here, don’t you feel it?” Ling’an Che’s magnetic voice, his eyes lowered, gazed at a cut on her neck, where blood had seeped out.

Mo Jin’er, belatedly realizing, said somewhat foolishly, “It seems so…”

But she hadn’t felt any pain because her body was once again uncomfortable…

She tried to continue helping Baozhu but was held back by Ling’an Che, who seemed displeased, “You’re hurt, Jin’er.”

She touched the back of her neck, feeling the sticky blood. She smiled, her eyes bright and warm, “It’s okay, I…”

Hearing this, Ling’an Che’s fingers stiffened slightly, but he smiled bitterly, pulling her away.

Baozhu, surrounded by concerned servants, saw Ling’an Che taking Mo Jin’er away without even glancing at her.

“Brother Ling…” She murmured softly, almost inaudibly…

On the way back, Mo Jin’er felt increasingly uncomfortable, her steps unconsciously slowing. Ling’an Che noticed her condition, glancing at her to see her pale, flushed face, breathing heavily.

She wanted to say her injury was nothing, but she sensed her husband was angry. With a trace of confusion in her eyes, she bit her lip, enduring her discomfort in silence.

He bent down to carry her back to the courtyard, and she whimpered in his arms, her delicate fingers clutching his clothes, burying her face in his chest.

Back in the courtyard, he applied medicine to her wounds. When he cleaned the cut on her neck, she finally felt the pain, her face scrunching up in discomfort, “Husband… gently…”

Ling’an Che smiled slightly, his warm, damp cloth gently wiping the long cut on her neck, “How can it not hurt?”

After applying the medicine, he said softly, “Jin’er should always prioritize herself, understand?”

His magnetic voice was slightly hoarse, his fingers on her neck, then moving up into her hair. He leaned down, his dark eyes looking at her seriously.

She didn’t quite understand, looking at him with puzzled eyes.

Was this why he was angry?

He couldn’t help but kiss her lips lightly before releasing her, “There’s a bath ready. Go soak for a while.”

Her senior sister had prepared a medicinal bath to alleviate her discomfort.

She nodded obediently, her soft face breaking into a sweet smile.

Her eyes sparkling, she looked at him, “Would husband like to join me?”

Her voice was soft and shy, but she asked because of the previous intimate incidents. She was uncomfortable due to the medicine and wanted his company.

“No, Jin’er, you go alone.” Ling’an Che chuckled softly, releasing her. Despite his impulse, he couldn’t act on it, considering her current state.

Su Qinqin was still at Ye Mansion when Ling’an Che sought her out.

“Jin’er got hurt today, but she didn’t feel any pain…”

Ling’an Che’s eyes were calm, but beneath the tranquility was a concealed tenderness.

“That’s normal. The aphrodisiac lowers pain perception, leaving only pleasure. Otherwise, how could she endure you?” Su Qinqin laughed ambiguously.

Was this all? Was her junior just feeling sorry for her?

“Has she had her medicinal bath? This condition will gradually improve.” She continued to comfort her junior.

Ling’an Che sat there, rubbing his temples. Seeing Jin’er so attentive to Baozhu, oblivious to her own injury, left him with complex feelings.

He even remembered when Jin’er and Baozhu flew kites together, and Baozhu hurt her leg. How did he react then… He had ignored her, still treating her as a toy.

But now, he realized his different feelings for her. If it were just indulgence, it would be fine, but things were getting out of control.

He didn’t want her to suffer any harm.

Not even from Baozhu.

After the medicinal bath, Mo Jin’er felt much better, the previous tormenting discomfort greatly reduced.

Dressing herself, she stood before the copper mirror, examining the cut on her neck, which seemed quite severe…

Slightly pursing her lips, she re-tied her clothes, her eyes numb, indifferent, and sorrowful…

Her husband said her condition was an illness, but she knew better. No matter how naive she was, she understood she was no different from the women in brothels now. She felt ashamed, distressed, and often on the verge of breaking down. How could this be just an illness?

Clearly, she had been drugged…

She asked her husband, but he kissed her in response, without an answer.

Now feeling better, she decided to visit a doctor herself to find out the truth.

The next day, she sneaked out, avoiding the maids.

Unaware of the hidden guards following her, she thought she had successfully snuck out.

Stepping out alone for the first time, she felt a sense of freedom, breathing in the fresh air. She found an old medical clinic. The elderly doctor examined her pulse, his eyes filled with surprise, repeatedly checking, finally referring to a medical book.

She was puzzled until the doctor closed the book and hesitantly said, “Young lady, you seem to have been affected by a rare aphrodisiac.”

“Can it be cured?” Mo Jin’er had a vague idea, recalling the intense days with Ling’an Che.

“This poison is rare and incurable. That you can function normally is exceptional… Did you have a renowned doctor at home?” the doctor asked.

“Yes…” She nodded. Her senior sister was indeed a skilled healer.

After discussing more with the doctor, who confirmed there was no cure, she paid and left.

Leaving the clinic, she encountered a peculiar woman, dressed opulently, followed by several maids. The woman, holding a round fan, hurriedly called out upon seeing her, “Mo Jin’er…”

Shen Yanyan frowned, and the maidservants behind her quickly and subtly blocked her path.

Mo Jin’er, who didn’t recognize her, paused and then looked at her.

Shen Yanyan looked at her, increasingly jealous of her alluring beauty. Standing there with a slightly tilted head, she looked like a femme fatale, which made her seethe with hatred. Finally, she had run into her.

“Long time no see,” She said, fanning herself, feeling annoyed but maintaining a smile.

Mo Jin’er also smiled, “Long time no see.”

She stood there gracefully, her smile bright and warm, drawing attention. Shen Yanyan wanted to scratch her face but knew that if she did, Ling’an Che wouldn’t let her go, so she could only gain an upper hand verbally.

“You really have some skills. I heard Ling doesn’t even attend court because of you,” She sneered.

Mo Jin’er’s fair and delicate face blushed at this. It was indeed ridiculous back then, and her husband seemed very busy, yet he still chose to stay with her when she was drugged…

But that didn’t matter. It was their private matter and had nothing to do with this woman.

Even though she was slow to catch on, she could feel her malice, so her smile faded slightly. “Miss, my matters with my husband are none of your concern.”

With that, she turned to leave.

Shen Yanyan found this absurd and covered her face with her fan, speaking to her maid with a laugh, “Listen to her, she calls Ling her husband…”

Before she could say more, she felt a sudden pain in her neck. When she raised her hand to touch it, she found a thin silver needle. 

Mo Jin’er was slightly stunned. What had she wanted to say?

Was it wrong to call Ling’an Che her husband? But he was her husband…

The maid beside Shen Yanyan hurriedly checked on her, “Miss, what’s wrong?”

What was wrong? Naturally, her voice had been sealed.

Not far away, a female dark guard sighed softly. The young general had deceived Jin’er, but the truth couldn’t be hidden forever.

Mo Jin’er frowned at the commotion, took a few steps back, and planned to take another route…

But upon exiting, she ran into Lan’er, who smiled at her, “Madam, shall we go back?”

“Okay.” She hesitated but finally nodded and answered softly. She originally wanted to go for a stroll but now felt too upset, an inexplicable sadness welling up from within, almost overwhelming her.

Why did she feel this way? What had happened in the past?

What was the truth behind her lost memories?

The mystery seemed about to unravel.

Although the poison in her body was suppressed a lot, she still needed relief every day and found it difficult to sleep at night. She also faintly realized that she actually didn’t like such things and even didn’t want them.

But when Ling’an Che kissed her, her resolve slowly crumbled.

“Husband… when did we get married?” After everything had ended, she was extremely tired but forced herself to stay awake. Lying in Ling’an Che’s arms, she turned slightly to look up at him and asked softly.

Ling’an Che, holding her slender waist, lowered his eyes slightly and answered lazily. He casually mentioned a date, roughly when Jin’er had first entered the Ye family.

Mo Jin’er wanted to ask more but eventually bit her lower lip, her small face full of conflict, and swallowed her questions.

She couldn’t say she felt her husband was lying to her… she even felt everything was fake…

“If Jin’er has something to ask, just ask,” he leaned closer, lightly kissing her nose.

Her face turned red, and she whispered, “Am I really your wife? It all feels so strange…”

“Our wedding was too simple, and because your family was exiled, it was low-key. Many outside don’t know. Jin’er, shall we have a grand wedding?”

Ling’an Che, almost dotingly, tightened his hold on her slender waist, looking at her watery, dazed eyes.

He indeed planned this. Once Han Wang ascended the throne, he intended to seek a decree to formally recognize her, and privately, he would register her name with the Ling family.

His deep, dark eyes were full of tender affection, making her shy. She averted her gaze.

“No need, husband… it would be a waste…” Her face was red, but her heart was indescribably moved, although also complex, with a hint of doubt. Could a wedding be reheld?

Hmm… maybe…

But she was just asking. Her husband didn’t need to hold another wedding for her.

“In the past, I indeed had faults. Can you forgive me?” he spoke softly, his magnetic voice tinged with a smile and a bit hoarse.

“I-I just had nothing to do and asked, no mistrust intended. The wedding doesn’t need to be reheld…” She said shyly but tremulously, holding his waist contentedly, thinking how good her husband was…

Ling’an Che chuckled, looking down at her fluffy head..

Mo Jin’er woke up very late the next day. After talking with her husband last night, she lightly kissed his chest, and he held her again without rest…

He said she should always stay by his side, making her cry out loud with her face buried in the pillow.

With the poison in her body temporarily alleviated, she felt much better. She disliked staying in the room, enjoying growing flowers and doing some handicrafts. She wasn’t as skilled as Baozhu, only making small toys, but it was too boring.

Sometimes, she would go out with her to watch a play or buy things, living a carefree life.

Her husband had also become busy lately, even not coming home one night. Feeling uncomfortable, she cried when he returned the next day, throwing herself into his arms.

Even with the poison slightly suppressed, she couldn’t be without him.

The change happened that day.

Mo Jin’er and Baozhu returned late, and on the roadside, she saw an old lady trembling with a cane.

The moment she saw her, Mo Jin’er’s eyes welled up, and she walked over.

She approached the old lady, who was her grandmother or someone she treated like a grandmother. The old lady had one blind eye. Though Ling’s family had arranged for her to live well, she still worried about Mo Jin’er and occasionally wanted to sneak a look at her.

Ling’s family made it clear that she had lost her memory after saving the young general, living well with him now, and asked the old lady to keep her mouth shut about the past.

She naturally understood the implied message: if she appeared before Mo Jin’er, she must not reveal any unpleasant past events, given how well she and the young general were doing now.

Or simply not show up at all. After all, though she had raised her, they were not blood-related. If her presence triggered memories in Mo Jin’er, it might cause conflict between her and the young general.

The old lady chose the latter but missed her too much, so she went to the General’s Mansion but was turned away.

Unexpectedly, she ran into Mo Jin’er on the way back.

“Jin’er…” The old lady’s hand trembled as she tried to touch the girl’s face. Mo Jin’er looked healthier than before, indicating she was well cared for.

“Do you know me?” Mo Jin’er found her familiar and approached her. She tried to think but couldn’t find the words, only feeling a sense of closeness.

“No, I… I mistook you for someone else…” The old lady’s hand stiffened, her cloudy eyes tearing up as she turned to leave.

As long as Jin’er was doing well…

The little girl she had once cared for had grown into such a beautiful person.

Living in comfort and without worries now was enough for her.

The old lady felt content, even thinking she could face her mother in the afterlife without regrets.

Mo Jin’er felt inexplicably uncomfortable, watching the old lady leave. She suddenly had a headache, tears streaming down her face.

Fragments of memories flashed through her mind.

Back then, as a skinny young girl, the old lady had offered some saved money to the steward of the Duke’s household, pleading with him to speak well of the young miss, hoping to give her a chance to attend school…

All because the young girl had admired her sisters’ beautiful school attire and their literary talent…

“Jin’er, what’s wrong?” Baozhu caught up and, seeing the old lady leave, turned her attention back to her, concerned.

Seeing her crying, she panicked, gently wiping her tears. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine… just a headache…” Mo Jin’er shook her head, her voice choked.

Baozhu was alarmed and hurriedly took her back, even telling Ling’an Che about it.

“Ling brother, Jin’er met the old lady from the Duke’s household, the one who cared for her since childhood. She had a headache. Do you think… She is regaining her memory?” Baozhu spoke in a daze, feeling not worried but even a bit… expectant.

Since Ling brought Jin’er back, he had treated her very well…

Baozhu, after regaining her intelligence, felt somewhat different. Previously clueless, she now found herself occasionally jealous of Jin’er…

But she knew this was wrong and couldn’t help herself. Thus, she rarely left Mo Jin’er’s side, making sure she was fine.

With her explanation, Ling’an Che remained silent, rubbing the ring on his hand.

Mo Jin’er sat on the bed in a daze after returning, with a few small tiger toys she had made by her side. Her head was lowered, and her eyes were red, making her look extremely pitiful.

“Jin’er…” Ling’an Che walked over, his magnetic voice gentle and hoarse.

She sniffled, wiped the tears from the corners of her eyes, and looked up at him, trying to act nonchalant. She wanted to say something to ease the awkwardness, but she couldn’t speak. If she did, her voice would be filled with sobs, making her feel useless.

She missed home so much… Even though her memories were blank, she couldn’t remember anything, yet she still missed home.

She just felt miserable.

“Should I ask Senior Sister to come and check on you?” Ling’an Che’s deep, gentle voice came as he stood in front of her, his thumb gently wiping the tears from her eyes. Mo Jin’er felt a bit of pain from his touch and shook her head, “I’m fine…”

Her soft, delicate voice carried a hint of nasal sound and sobs, sounding very pitiful, as if she had suffered a great grievance.

She was extremely sad.

Ling’an Che still called Su Qinqin to check on her. After examining her, she sighed, “It’s unlikely she’ll recover her memories anytime soon, but you need to pay attention to her psychological state. If this suppression continues, she might…”

She pondered her words, “Some people, when they can’t cope, might have suicidal tendencies, do you understand?”

It seemed that Little Jin’er had been somewhat repressed before, and her breaking point might be near. It was only because she suddenly lost her memory that she forgot those unhappy moments.

She also forgot her junior brother’s forceful possession.

“If she really misses her family, let them be with her. Everyone needs some psychological comfort,” she continued, “But having her family around might stimulate her and speed up her memory recovery. It’s up to you to decide.”

Ling’an Che frowned slightly, “It’s fine if she recovers her memory.”

In the time they had spent together, they had become so affectionate. Even if she regained her memory, it wasn’t certain that she would stop liking him.

Besides, as long as he didn’t let go, she couldn’t escape.

He arranged for the old lady to come and keep her company. The old lady knew what to say and what not to say. Finally reunited with her young lady, she was happy and excited. Mo Jin’er was still a bit puzzled, “But you said you didn’t know me before?”

“The old woman has poor eyesight and made a mistake…” The old lady smiled kindly, looking lovingly at the exquisite young lady before her. The young general was indeed very good to the young lady.

Mo Jin’er frowned slightly, thinking belatedly, why did she feel like they were all treating her like a fool?

She wrinkled her little nose.

But soon, the sadness and depression were swept away as she listened to the old lady talk about her childhood anecdotes. She felt a bit shy and embarrassed, and when it came to her so-called marriage, the old lady’s account was vague but matched Ling’an Che’s version.

She tilted her head slightly but didn’t say anything.

As the new year approached, Han Wang ascended the throne, and Ling’an Che became very busy but still often accompanied Mo Jin’er.

Under the influence of the seductive poison, they were inseparable, and eventually, Mo Jin’er was found to be over a month pregnant.

Ling’an Che gently kissed the corner of her lips, very restrained. Fortunately, the seductive poison did not affect the child in her womb.

However, she had been having nightmares recently.

She dreamed of being trapped in a room, where her seemingly gentle husband was actually extremely rude and harsh, and his words were even more humiliating.

She cried and cried but received no pity from him. She could feel the profound sadness and grief of her dream self.

When she woke up, she stared blankly at the canopy above her. Her consciousness was very clear; it didn’t feel like a dream but like something she had personally experienced, something that had truly happened.

She propped herself up and sat by the bed, her soft hand gently resting on her lower abdomen, which wasn’t showing yet. Sister Su had said that once she got pregnant, the seductive poison’s toxicity would be completely suppressed, but at the same time, pregnancy symptoms would gradually emerge.

She became much quieter afterward, but she still behaved affectionately towards Ling’an Che as before, calling him her husband, hugging his waist, and acting coquettishly. She would also cry softly and feel inexplicably sad.

Ling’an Che still pampered her, and at the same time, he was preparing for their wedding.

However, he was very busy, and Mo Jin’er, being pregnant, sometimes felt nauseous even with a bit of intimacy. He was gentle and patient, though his dark eyes were unreadable. His deep, magnetic voice comforted her, “Jin’er, rest well.”

“Mm…” She replied with a soft nasal sound, finally looking up at him with a fragile and moving gaze.

After he left, she went to the table, poured herself a glass of water, and took a sip. She stood there quietly, lost in thought.

He truly loved her, which meant she still had a chance, right?

She often went out for walks, wandering around with friends. Everything seemed normal.

Meanwhile, Ling’an che, handling affairs in the palace, received a report from a dark guard. His gaze turned dark as he casually decapitated a traitor beside him, “Keep an eye on her.”

Blood splattered, and he walked away.

“You’re not marrying a noble lady; you want to marry a criminal’s daughter?” In the Imperial Study, Han Wang, now the Emperor, wearing a dragon robe, looked cold and stern, with an imposing aura.

He continued with a playful tone, “I won’t be wary of you just because you hold military power. Why insist on marrying such a useless woman?”

“The Emperor might not be aware, but I’m willing to accept it,” Ling’an Che raised an eyebrow slightly.

“Really not reconsidering? A beautiful face can be a concubine at most. I’ve seen the daughter of Prince Zhen Nan; she’s heroic and should match you well…” The Emperor left the sentence unfinished.

Ling’an Che smiled, “If Your Majesty likes her, why not take her into your harem?”

The Emperor’s gaze turned meaningful, “You think I don’t want to? But a concubine is causing trouble in the harem recently…”

After a few words, they discussed some more significant matters before Ling’an Che left.

The sky was gloomy, but because the new year was approaching, the streets were still bustling, though the weather was very cold.

Mo Jin’er looked outside, dressed lightly in the warm pavilion, feeling neither cold nor warm, with heated floors all around.

She had gone out briefly and happened to meet a flamboyant and bright woman, riding a horse with a heroic and disdainful demeanor.

“Are you Mo Jin’er? The concubine raised in General Ling’s mansion?” The woman scrutinized her while she looked up at her slightly, and Lan’er coldly scolded her for her rudeness.

The woman continued, “I’ve never met General Ling, but I’ve heard many of his feats. Though a hero deserves a beauty, you are too useless for him.”

“The Emperor will grant him a new marriage. Have you heard? I’m the daughter of Prince Zhen Nan. I don’t currently fancy General Ling, but if I marry him, don’t worry, I won’t mistreat you as long as you behave…”

“I also heard you went through life and death with him but lost your memory and thought you were his wife. I’m just here to tell you the truth in advance…”

The woman said a lot. When she mentioned the memory loss, Mo Jin’er covered her mouth, stepped back, and looked at Lan’er, her eyes filled with heartbreak, “Lan’er, is what she said true?”

“False! Madam, don’t believe her…” Lan’er and the others wanted to attack the woman, but she was highly skilled, and they couldn’t use deadly force against her, making their faces look terrible.

Mo Jin’er bit her lip, then ran away crying, with Lan’er and others chasing after her, “Madam, be careful with your condition…”

Back at the General’s Mansion, Lan’er and the others comforted her for a long time before leaving. Sitting quietly in the warm pavilion, Mo Jin’er lifted her misty eyes, now cold and indifferent, unlike the crying, heartbroken appearance from earlier…

Her opportunity had finally come.

Ling’an Che knew about the incident and wanted to explain to her when he returned. He intended to marry her, but his usually gentle and soft wife threw a tantrum, even throwing things at him.

“You’re a liar, a liar! Go away! I don’t want to see you!”

The items she threw were easily dodged or caught by him. He eventually approached her, gently comforting her.

Days passed, and one quiet, beautiful afternoon, she vanished from the warm pavilion, leaving behind a letter saying she was leaving and asking Ling’an Che not to miss her.

He looked at her delicate handwriting and laughed angrily, crumpling the paper.

She couldn’t have left alone; someone helped her…

Outside the city, in a carriage, sat Mo Jin’er. She glanced back, opened the curtain to see the bustling city, and then let it fall, just as she should let go of everything here.

Beside her sat a woman, dissatisfied and unhappy, “Why do I have to escort you? I’m the daughter of Prince Zhen Nan…”

Mo Jin’er leaned back and closed her eyes.

But soon, pursuers appeared behind and ahead, forming a circle around the carriage.

“Impossible! How did they find me so quickly…” The woman looked grim, stepping outside to try and fight off the pursuers.

But there were too many of them, and they seemed reluctant to use excessive force on the carriage.

Eventually, they forced the carriage to stop. Ling’an Che, in black, cold and handsome, spoke with a voice neither happy nor angry, with a hint of gentleness, “Jin’er, let’s go back.”

He spoke softly, riding up to the carriage.

Inside, Mo Jin’er had her eyes closed, her face pale. When she opened her eyes and saw him outside, she suddenly smiled, “You knew, didn’t you?”

He remained silent as she sat up straighter. She was now slightly plumper than when she first entered the General’s Mansion, more gentle and refined. “You knew I had regained my memory long ago, yet you still played along for so long.”

“General Ling, let me go.”