The three idiots who couldn't become heroes are preparing a man's meal today as well. - Chapter 1

Episode 1: The Dud Gacha

“Success!”

A sudden loud voice made me flinch and shudder.

Looking around in surprise, I found many people directing curious gazes toward me.

It was an unfamiliar, luxurious large room, and the people gathered around were dressed in robes and armor, outfits that seemed utterly anachronistic.

Could this possibly be…?

There was a man who looked like a king in front of me, and surrounding him were knight-like and wizard-like figures.

As much as I thought it might be a dream… or so I thought!

Could this really be one of those otherworld summons?

“Kou-chan?”

As I stood up and made a guts pose, a voice called from behind.

There, unexpectedly, were two familiar faces.

“Huh? Why are you guys here too?”

Behind me were two friends who had been playing an online game with me just moments ago.

Jun Nishida and Yuya Azuma.

They were childhood friends from elementary school, and even after becoming working adults, we still hung out together.

By the way, I am Kouta Kitayama.

With North, West, and East all present, we’ve always joked that if we had a South, it would be perfect—the three idiot trio.

It seemed we had all been forcefully dragged into another world together.

Although I’m not entirely sure if this is another world, it certainly feels like one.

“May I explain?”

An older man, who looked important and stood next to the king-like figure, approached us.

He probably held a high rank, and his face was intimidating.

“The skill we performed is called a Hero Summoning—”

We received a lengthy explanation.

To summarize, this place is indeed another world.

And in true cliché fashion, there is a Demon King, and they summoned heroes with special “titles” from another world to resist him.

This title, it seems, crucial.

Apparently, those with the “Hero” title experience a significant boost in combat power for themselves and their companions.

Additionally, there’s a level system, and leveling up is supposedly very quick.

In short, it’s a cheat—an overpowered advantage.

Unfortunately, there’s no way to return to our original world.

That said, all of us were single with no significant attachments.

We left our parents behind, but as the literal “three idiots,” they didn’t have high expectations of us.

So, while it’s not ideal, there wasn’t much tying us to our old world.

And our jobs… we were all underpaid and working in borderline exploitative conditions, so this might even be a blessing.

Above all, since we were all game enthusiasts who loved “stories like this,” we accepted the situation without much resistance.

“Now then, we will begin the appraisal.”

The older man took out a crystal ball about the size of a baseball.

Here it comes, here it comes.

Are we the cheat type? Or the slow-growth type?

We waited anxiously.

“This is amazing, it’s really another world. It’s just like a game world,” Nishida said, equally restless.

He was completely “on board.”

He loved isekai anime and often indulged in various fantasies while we played online games together.

Physically, he was the slimmest among us and not particularly tall.

His hair was a bit long, but it didn’t give off an unclean vibe, rather, his hair texture was quite nice for a guy.

He’d definitely suit being a mage or something like that.

“I’m nervous… In these situations, isn’t there always someone who gets the short end of the stick? If that’s me, don’t abandon me, okay?”

Azuma made a weak statement.

I felt like telling him to enjoy the situation more, but that’s just how he is by nature.

He was the most muscular of us, with a tall, shaved head.

Despite his physique, he was often timid.

However, he had experience in judo and martial arts, and would take the lead if we got into trouble.

Definitely a tank.

While I was lost in these thoughts, we were each handed a crystal ball.

“Hold this in one hand and this card in the other. Your status will appear on the card.”

The moment we had been waiting for had arrived.

We stared intently at the cards to see our statuses.

Slowly, the text began to emerge.

It wasn’t in Japanese, but… I could read it!

• Kouta Kitayama
• Human
• Level 1
• Title: None
• Occupation: None

Huh?

Huh, hold on?

Is that all? I expected a bunch of numbers since it’s supposed to be a status.

It’s incredibly simple.

And I don’t even have a title.

Am I one of those dragged-along types? Will I have to make a living by running a business?

While pondering that, I looked at the expressions of my friends, who seemed just as puzzled.

“So, how did it go? Did you get the ‘Hero’ title?” I asked.

Both of them glanced away before showing me their cards.

• Jun Nishida
• Human
• Level 1
• Title: None
• Occupation: Unemployed

• Yuya Azuma
• Human
• Level 1
• Title: Closet Otaku
• Occupation: None

I couldn’t help but let out an “Ah…”

I thought I had it rough, but their statuses seemed even worse in some ways.

One of us had a title, but it seemed useless.

Isn’t this… really bad?

Are we all unlucky? Or perhaps just a bunch of duds?

“Now, let me check your cards.”

“I’d prefer not to, as it’s personal information,” I wanted to say, but unfortunately, the cards were snatched from me without much resistance.

The stern-faced man froze in shock.

Well, that’s understandable. Seeing those would do that to anyone.

And there were three of them.

“……”

The silence was loud—absolutely terrifying.

It was like calling for a hero but summoning three slimes instead.

No wonder he was in despair, it was like getting nothing but misses in a gacha pull.

“Get out.”

“Huh?”

“I’m telling you to get the hell out, you worthless scum!”

The stern-faced man suddenly lost his temper.

Still, I wanted to object. Was it really okay to just be summoned and thrown out penniless?

I couldn’t stand for that.

“Wait a minute! You summoned us here without our consent and now want to throw us out because we’re not what you expected? That’s just too selfish! This is practically kidnapping!”

Nishida raised his voice in desperation, but the stern-faced man ignored him and showed our cards to someone who looked like a king.

The king let out a deep sigh.

“Indeed, what he says is true… but we paid a heavy price to summon you—gold, magic power, even human lives. And yet, what we summoned is… this.”

This, he called us. We weren’t even considered human anymore.

This was seriously bad—our story might end before it even begins.

I really hoped this was just needless worry…

“Throw them out.”

This other world was not kind.

The three of us were being escorted through the castle by stern-faced soldiers.

We weren’t being shipped off, just discarded outside the castle.

“What’s going to happen to us now?”

“No home, no money, no job… We finally made it to another world, and now this…”

The two of them muttered in resignation.

I was in a similar situation, after all.

What were we supposed to do?

With dead-fish eyes, I trudged along until I heard a voice from down the hall.

“I’ll take over the escort. You all may leave.”

“What!? But—”

“Did you not hear me? Leave. I’ll take over.”

“But it’s dangerous! Even if their levels are low, these people—”

“Silence! Stand down.”

The voice, despite its sharp words, sounded quite young.

And sure enough, there stood a beautiful young lady with long blonde hair, exuding an air of dignity—a princess, no doubt.

The soldiers, clearly flustered, reluctantly turned back.

Was it really okay to leave us alone with just this girl?

As I pondered this, the girl bowed deeply before us.

“I deeply apologize for dragging you into our situation.”

“Uh, well, um, okay.”

Awkwardly, I stammered a response.

“I will guide you outside the castle. I’ll explain the important points on the way.”

Following her, we—the three men who could barely be considered middle-aged—were like old men trailing after her.

“Once outside, head to the Walker’s Guild. It’s straight ahead after exiting the castle. If you’re unsure, ask the townsfolk. Register there, and you should be able to find work.”

I wasn’t quite sure what “Walkers” were, but they sounded like adventurers.

Not wanting to waste time, I silently listened to her explanation.

“I’m sorry, we should be protecting you, but my father refuses. You’ll have to fend for yourselves. I know it seems unfair, summoning you here only to abandon you… I wish I could do more… I’m sorry.”

“Oh, uh, it’s fine. It must be tough for you too, huh?”

My clumsy response only made her smile sadly as she turned to look back at me.

The two behind me remained silent, seemingly unsure of how to talk to a girl.

I was in the same boat. Please, say something, guys.

“For now, I’ve prepared some funds and equipment. It’s not much—a small allowance and some old gear from the soldiers. But it’s better than nothing.”

She handed me a small black leather pouch as we walked.

What was this?

It was small enough to hang from a belt and seemed empty.

“Ah, sorry. That’s a magic bag. It can hold more than it appears. Inside, you’ll find your equipment and about thirty gold coins.”

An item pouch! A classic in any isekai stories.

I was curious about its capacity, but surely, this was expensive, right?

“Can we really accept this? Isn’t it valuable?”

“It’s my personal belonging, so don’t worry. You’ll need it more than I do.”

“Th-thank you.”

We accepted what seemed like a very precious item.

“May I confirm? You’re from a country called ‘Nihon’? You have black hair and black eyes.”

“Yes, that’s correct.”

It seemed they had summoned people from Japan before. Accepting this so casually felt like a sign of being too immersed in current trends.

“The money I’ve prepared is thirty gold coins. I considered consolidating it into platinum, but I thought smaller denominations would be more practical. The coins are platinum, gold, silver, half-silver, copper, half-copper, iron, and half-iron. There are higher denominations, but these are the ones you’ll encounter. Roughly speaking, think of them as one million, one hundred thousand, ten thousand, five thousand, one thousand, five hundred, one hundred, and fifty ‘Nihon yen.’ For lower values, bartering is common. Is this clear?”

It was clear, yet not.

I resisted the urge to complain, as we were clearly pressed for time. Whenever a soldier appeared, she quickened her pace.

Clearly, this was her own decision to aid us.

“Now, about the Walkers—”

“Princess, you shouldn’t act on your own.”

The stern-faced man from before appeared with a group of soldiers.

“Looks like this is as far as I can explain. Please don’t lose that bag under any circumstances.”

Despite the princess’s frustrated expression, we were thrown out of the castle.