The three idiots who couldn't become heroes are preparing a man's meal today as well. - Chapter 10

Episode 10: Freshly Made Fried Chicken and the Grudge Over Food

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An accident.

I always thought something like this might happen someday… but it had to be today.

“Why… why did this have to happen?!”

“Leader! This can still be fixed, right?! Tell me it can!!”

Nishida and Azuma cried out in despair, tears streaming down their faces like waterfalls.

Honestly, I felt the same.

Maybe if I’d been more alert, we could’ve avoided this disaster…

But it’s too late for regrets. There’s no going back now.

“Masters… um, shouldn’t we focus on the magical beast for now?”

At Minami’s words, all our gazes snapped to the culprit.

A boar.

Not just any boar—this one was about 1.5 times bigger than the ones we’d faced before.

And that enormous beast was greedily munching on our precious, beloved fried chicken.

“Azuma, Nishida. This one’s big—don’t let your guard down. I’ll take the lead. Cover me.”

“You sure you don’t want me up front?”

“Yeah… I’ve got this.”

“Kou-chan, I get that you’re pissed, but don’t do anything reckless, alright?”

I gave a silent nod and reached for my weapon.

Azuma grabbed his large shield. Nishida readied his spear.

And me?

I picked up the pot of hot oil I’d just used to fry the chicken.

“Um, Kitayama-sama… I don’t think this is the time to joke around—”

Ignoring Minami’s concerned voice, we charged.

The two split left and right, flanking the boar.

I rushed straight ahead—

“I’M GONNA TURN YOU INTO FRIED PORK, YOU BASTARD! GIVE IT BACK!!”

—and hurled the scalding oil right into the boar’s face.

(Minami POV)

It all happened in an instant.

Even Nishida-sama and Azuma-sama, who’d been keeping watch, kept glancing anxiously toward Kitayama-sama.

Honestly, I wasn’t any better.

The satisfying sizzle filled the air as juicy chunks of meat hit the bubbling oil.

The rich aroma of frying meat mixed with garlic and ginger was almost intoxicating.

I’d had fried foods in town before, but nothing ever smelled this good.

Shamefully, I found myself sneaking glances at Kitayama-sama as he cooked, my stomach growling despite myself.

I tried to focus on keeping watch, but—

“Alright, everyone, taste test time! Let’s decide what sides to serve with it.”

When Kitayama-sama brought over a piece of fried chicken for each of us, he looked like a god.

I watched my masters pick up their pieces before nervously grabbing the last one.

My gloves kept me from feeling the heat, but if I bit into it without cooling it down, I’d definitely burn my mouth.

Nishida-sama and Azuma-sama were already munching away, alternating between “Hot! Hot!” and “So good!”

I blew on mine desperately before taking a small bite.

And then—

“Delicious… This is amazing! What is this?! It’s better than any meat I’ve ever had!”

“Oh, looks like Minami’s a fan of fried chicken. Maybe it’s the magical beast meat—it’s got such a rich flavor. Plus, the garlic and ginger give it a nice kick. Alright, let’s test some flavors: lemon, mayo, and yuzu pepper!”

“Mayo for me!”

“I’m team lemon!”

They cheerfully debated, but I was already lost in the bliss of my chicken.

The tender, juicy meat bursting with flavor. The crispy, golden coating soaking up just enough of the savory juices.

It was pure happiness.

Today’s meal was going to be incredible.

But then—disaster struck.

CRASH!

The sound of a plate shattering behind Kitayama-sama.

We all turned at once.

There it was.

A king boar.

Bigger than normal, with slightly different-colored fur.

A mutant variant.

Just seeing it sent a chill down my spine.

In any other situation, we’d have known to retreat immediately—abandon everything if we had to.

But.

The king boar wasn’t charging us.

It was too busy devouring something on the ground.

And that was the problem.

The thing it was eating… was our fried chicken.

“NOOOOO! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!”

“HEY, YOU! STOP EATING OUR CHICKEN, YOU SNORTING JERK!!”

“MY LUNCH!! I ONLY HAD ONE PIECE!!”

I’ve seen people scream in fear before, but this was the first time I’d seen people scream out of sheer grief over stolen food.

I’d encountered magical beasts before, even mutants like this.

In every case, the smart thing to do was run.

But my masters…

They just stood there, wailing over the lost chicken.

Then, after a brief murmured discussion—

They picked up their weapons.

Well… one of them picked up a pot.

“Um, Kitayama-sama… I don’t think this is the time to be joking around—”

The moment I spoke, they started running.

Their formation was different from the usual boar hunts.

Aren’t they all acting without thinking clearly—?

“YOU DAMN PIG! I’LL TURN YOU INTO KARAAGE, YOU BASTARD! GIVE IT BACK, DAMN IT!”

Kitayama-sama hurled the hot oil he’d just been using for frying straight at the King Boar.

Of course, it was hot—no, scorching didn’t even begin to cover it.

The boar stomped the ground furiously, thrashing its head in agony.

It must’ve taken a serious hit.

Its eyeballs had turned cloudy from the heat—no way it’d be able to enjoy any scenery from now on.

While this was happening, Azuma-sama flanked it from the rear.

“HNNNUAAAA!”

He swung his large shield sideways with full force.

Pretty sure that’s not how you’re supposed to use a shield.

But it didn’t matter—the impact crushed the boar’s hind leg bones, forcing it into a posture that looked like it was sitting.

While the beast writhed in pain, Nishida-sama thrust his spear upward from beneath its jaw, aiming straight for the throat.

“KOU-CHAN! FINISH IT OFF!”

“HELL YEAH!”

Despite the spear piercing its throat, the boar wasn’t dead yet.

Even so, Kitayama-sama leapt high into the air and came crashing down with all his weight.

With an enormous oil pot.

KPHAAANG! A ridiculous sound echoed.

The result?

With a pitiful, un-boar-like scream—BWOOOOOOO!—the King Boar’s head slammed down onto the spear.

Poor Nishida-sama was underneath it all.

Blood gushed from the boar’s torn throat, drenching him completely—he wasn’t just covered like some petty bandit, no, he looked like a demon straight out of a nightmare, dyed crimson from head to toe.

“FINISH IT OFF! AZUMA, GIVE ME A HAND! NISHIDA, FALL BACK BEFORE YOU GET CRUSHED!”

With that shout, Kitayama-sama and Azuma-sama soared into the air once again… and came crashing down.

Each wielding either an oil pot or a large shield.

Wait… isn’t the boar already dead?

Ah, so this is what they mean by a grudge over food.

I stood there, dumbfounded, as—

“EAT THIIIIISS!”

Their powerful blows smashed into the boar’s face, and Nishida-sama’s spear burst through the other side of its neck.

This time, without a doubt, it was truly dead.

Blood spurted from its neck and the back of its head, dyeing the surroundings like a crimson fountain.

The three masters returned.

Clad in full plate armor, drenched in red, looking more like demons than people.

“Minami, help with the dismantling. We’ll make karaage some other time.”

“…Ah, yes.”

Yep. My masters are definitely not normal.

(Mixed 3rd person and Guild branch chief POV)

A week had passed since they’d taken the job.

The Walker Guild’s branch chief was leisurely sipping his post-meal coffee while reading reports.

They all mentioned the same thing: the number of magical beasts in the area had increased significantly.

Most Walkers preferred day trips or jobs that lasted just a few days.

Unless they were highly skilled, part of a large group, or working directly under a royal commission, the primary issue was the lack of space to carry enough rations.

Sure, some had magic bags, but no one had the luxury to cook elaborate meals while keeping watch for threats.

So, most survived on hardtack, jerky, and other preserved foods.

Naturally, such a lifestyle led to stress and poor nutrition, which affected group performance.

Maybe trained soldiers could handle it differently, but Walkers were—frankly—just regular folks trying to make it big.

That’s why their patience had limits.

The three basic human needs: food, sleep, and… well, you know.

Without satisfying any of them, staying long-term in beast-infested territory was impossible for Walkers.

Unless the reward was enough to make your eyes pop out, no one would put up with it.

Or so he thought.

“Branch Chief… I have a report.”

Airi, the receptionist, peeked into his office, looking a bit worn out.

Normally, she’d at least knock, but maybe something urgent had come up.

“They’ve returned safely. Shall I send them in…?”

They?

He tilted his head, then quickly remembered.

Ah, the “Beast Eaters”—the ones he’d instructed to buy slaves and take on that job about a week ago.

Oh, so the results are in today!

Feeling unexpectedly excited, he called out, “Send them in!”

The door burst open even before he’d finished his sentence.

“Mission complete! We’ve hunted the King Boar as requested! Found a bigger one too, so we’ll be expecting a bonus!”

Four figures entered the room, shoving past Airi without hesitation.

But all he could see were three enormous pelts.

One of them was impossibly large.

“Ah, um, huh? Wait, what?”

As he fumbled with words, a man—presumably the leader—peeked out from behind the largest pelt.

……..

“How about this? It’s skinned even cleaner than last time, and isn’t it ridiculously huge? According to Minami, it’s a ‘mutant species’ or something. Think we can sell this for a good price?”

It’s certainly a beautiful pelt.
The processing seems well done too—there’s hardly any foul smell.
But… isn’t this just too big?

As he spoke, faces peeked out from behind the pelt, each of them flashing broad grins.
All except for one unusually small girl, who looked a bit anxious.

“Ah, um… I understand. I’ll promise to increase the purchase price more than usual. Since it’s a mutant species, I’ll add a bonus for that as well. So, um… could you put it away for now? The sheer presence is overwhelming.”

Indeed, I had issued them a request to subjugate the King Boar.
But that was more of an afterthought.
The real purpose was to see whether consuming magical beast meat would cause any adverse effects—to observe that, I had recommended they purchase a slave.
The ones I needed to monitor were them and the slave girl.
So, whether they succeeded or failed in subjugating the King Boar didn’t really matter.

And yet… why on earth did they end up hunting such a ridiculously massive boar?
Could their levels have increased again?
They even seem to have built quite a friendly relationship with the slave.
If they ever found out that I had them buy her just as an experimental subject, I’m pretty sure they’d be furious.

Ugh… just thinking about it makes my stomach hurt.

“A-Anyway… good work. As per the request—or rather, last week’s request—I’ll appraise you all once again. Is that alright?”

Somehow managing to get the words out, I downed the rest of my coffee in one gulp.
Sigh… Seriously, what’s with these newcomers?

“Alright, leveled up again. I’m at 36.”

“Same here. Levels really do get harder to raise after a while.”

“Me too. Well, it can’t be helped, I guess. We’ve gotten to the point where hunting boars is a breeze.”

“Um… I’ve reached level 12 now. Thank you very much.”

As they casually announced their levels, I sat trembling in the corner of the room.
If my memory serves me right, they were all level 1 when they registered as Walkers.
Honestly, even that was absurd.
Level 1 is like… a child among children.

By the time most people start working seriously around age fifteen, they’re usually at least level 5 or 6, sometimes even 10.
There’s even talk about whether levels really reflect combat ability. Ordinary citizens don’t care much about it.
The common understanding is something like: “The stronger someone is in a fight, the higher their level.”

However, for professionals who’ve made a name for themselves, high levels are the norm.
This raises the question of whether levels also increase through skills, not just combat, though the exact mechanism remains unclear.
As a Walker myself, I never paid it much mind, since strength usually equals level anyway…

But their leveling speed is abnormal.
I don’t know if it’s because they’re special or because they live in an environment where they’re constantly fighting, but…
Ordinarily, you’d need considerable combat experience to reach level 36.

Even with reports of increased magical beast activity in the nearby forests, I’ve never heard of anyone around here hitting that level.
I was already shocked when they hit level 30 last time. Hearing this, I just want to scream, “You’re still going up?!”

And then there’s the slave girl.
She must’ve been treated as a slave from a young age, as her level was low in the previous report.
Yet in just one week, she’s more than doubled it.

Is it the effect of eating magical beast meat?
Or perhaps it’s because she’s been traveling with them?
I just don’t know…

And above all else, ordinary Walkers don’t spend a whole week secluded in the forest.
Everything about them is abnormal.

……

……

“C-Could I see everyone’s cards? The slave girl’s as well—I’d like to check for any status abnormalities.”

When the branch manager spoke, they all handed over their cards without hesitation.
Honestly, that in itself is unusual.

Status cards serve as identification, but after being appraised, they also display detailed information for a few minutes.
Not just the level, but even “titles” and any status abnormalities.

Most people don’t like showing this information.
Given how deeply ingrained the idea of level = strength is, and the chance of having embarrassing titles, people usually avoid displaying their full status unless forced by guards or authorities.
Normally, only basic info like name and occupation is visible, which most people are fine with sharing.

But these guys expose everything without a second thought.
Even the slave girl.
Perhaps because she had no freedom to begin with, she doesn’t feel any resistance to showing it.

And with her masters revealing their own information so openly, she probably doesn’t even consider the option of keeping hers private.

“Hmm…”

The branch manager scrutinized each card, his expression growing more serious—
Especially when he got to the slave girl’s.

The points of concern were undoubtedly “status abnormalities” and “race.”
After all, this is a party that consumes magical beast meat.

It would’ve been more surprising if there weren’t any abnormalities.

Magical beasts are creatures tainted by miasma, mutated from ordinary animals.
We’ve been taught that their flesh is cursed, their blood poisonous to humans.

There’s even a popular tale that says eating their meat will cause one to fall and become a demon.

That’s the common belief in this world.

So naturally, the branch manager had expected to detect some kind of curse, or at least a poison slowly corroding their bodies.

And yet…

 

“The slave girl… seems healthy as well. Do you feel any discomfort in your body?”

“Eh? Ah, no. I’m perfectly healthy. Thanks to my masters, I get to eat delicious meals every day.”

“Delicious… meals, huh.”

“I was surprised at first, but yes.”

With that exchange concluded, the branch manager returned each of their cards.
It seemed that no abnormalities were found this time.
Well—other than their abnormal level-ups, that is.

“Then I’ll continue to rely on you. Regarding this matter, I’m thinking of raising your rank by a few levels… though I’d like to properly assess the pelt you showed earlier before finalizing it.
Could you come back to the guild in two days?”

I heard them murmuring things like “Rank?” “A break?” “What about food supplies in the meantime?” but none of them voiced any real complaints.
They left the branch manager’s office without issue.

Was… was this really okay?
For some reason, I couldn’t shake a faint sense of unease.

“Airi, what do you think?”

The moment they were alone, the branch manager let out a heavy sigh and addressed me.

“Honestly… I think we should’ve voiced our suspicions openly and asked for their cooperation.
It feels like our ‘common sense’ doesn’t apply to them, and if things get complicated later, they’ll be much harder to deal with.”

“You could’ve said that before, you know…”

Slumping over his desk with a splat, the branch manager groaned in defeat.
It was such a pitiful sight—any Walker who saw him like this would’ve been seriously disappointed.

“That’s the branch manager’s call to make. As a receptionist, it’s far beyond my authority.
Granted, there’s no doubt they’re abnormal, but we’ve seen other cases of rapid level-ups before.
Even with that in mind, though, the fact that they eat magical beast meat is certainly unusual.
However… if the slave girl shows no particular abnormalities, then there’s a possibility that magical beast meat is actually edible.

And more importantly, they’re surprisingly gentlemanly for Walkers.
A bit too energetic, and they look like bandits, but still.
If we’re not upfront with them, it might come back to bite us later.”

“That’s why… ugh, Airi, you should just be the branch manager instead.”

“Absolutely not.”

When she gave her honest opinion, he shot back with yet another pitiful remark.
Why is this  branch manager always like this?
…Well, it’s nothing new.

“In any case, you’ll need to make a decision before they return in two days.
That’ll determine how we handle them moving forward.”

“I’d like to keep things peaceful, but… will that even be possible?”

That’s not something he can answer.
It’ll depend entirely on how tolerant they are.

With that thought lingering in his mind, he let out a long, heavy sigh.

Seriously…
What are those people, anyway?