The three idiots who couldn't become heroes are preparing a man's meal today as well. - Chapter 112

Episode 112. Side Effects

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“Stop right there!”

We were promptly halted at the gate.

Surrounding us were soldiers with weapons at the ready.

“I’ve already explained this several times! These people saved us! Just look behind the wagon! They captured the very bandits who’ve been causing all the recent disturbances around here! And you’re still saying we need more than that!?”

“I’m terribly sorry, Grimgald-sama… but this is our duty. We can’t just let people wearing black armor and someone with horns waltz into the country that easily…”

The slightly overweight middle-aged man desperately tried to explain, while the soldiers looked equally troubled.

Both sides seemed to be in a tough spot. While watching the scene, I quietly pulled out our ID cards.

“So, would showing ID be enough? We’re Walkers from another country. No criminal records… I think. Right? We’re not wanted for dragon-slaying or anything, are we?”

Suddenly feeling a bit unsure mid-explanation, I glanced back at my companions.

“It should be fine. I mean, I’ve never heard of any other Walkers who’ve slain a ‘dragon,’ and it’s only a few people in the church who might take issue with it.”

“Yeah, totally get that. You just freeze up when a cop stops you, right?”

“Eh, we’re probably fine. I don’t remember eating any endangered species or anything.”

“Also, that dragon is literally right here with us.”

“Mn? You called?”

Everyone responded with whatever they felt like, but it seemed safe to assume things would be okay.

So, I showed the ID to the soldier, who nervously took it with shaking hands.

Then came.

“By the way, when was the last time you had your card appraised?”

Apparently bothered by how dirty our guild cards looked, the soldier still had a skeptical expression.

“It’s been a while, I think? We’ve been living in the forest for a while. Ah, if it’s necessary, we can get them appraised. But, well… my wallet’s a bit light right now… If we could maybe get a little discount?”

I pulled out the black magic bag.

This was the one I got from the princess, with time-stop enchantment and all.

But I’d already stopped carrying all my money on me.

Also, before heading to the forest, I gave back three platinum coins to the princess.

So yeah, the bag was pretty much empty.

The only stuff in it was food, weapons, camping gear, and a dead dragon.

I mean, who needs money in the forest, right?

Might as well return what I could while I still had it!

Though now that’s come back to bite me.

“I’ll cover the appraisal fees. Please bring out your highest-ranking appraiser. I will personally vouch for their safety. As the president of the Grimgald Trading Company, I—Reed—will be their guarantor.”

The old guy said something pretty incredible, and while I was still stunned, I turned to look at the soldier.

“In that case… you may ‘temporarily’ enter. Since they are Walkers, let’s head to the Walker Guild. I’ll send for a high-ranking appraiser immediately.”

And so, we were headed to the Walker Guild of this country.

Honestly, that worked out well for us—was that okay?

They’re even covering the cost and guiding us straight to the guild.

While I was mulling over how lucky that was, we were led by the soldiers into a new land.

“Hey, Kitayama-san, is it okay for me too?”

“Hmm? Ah, kids probably get a free pass or something. I dunno though.”

I answered offhandedly and took in a deep breath.

Ah… the scent of the sea.

We’d been wandering the forest ever since coming to “this side,” but this might be a place worth looking forward to.

…………

In the lively and bustling air, I let out a quiet sigh.

This was the Walker Guild.

With a forest on one side and the sea on the other, this country hosted many Walkers.

There were forest specialists and sea specialists.

The two factions competed by taking on requests, which meant an extremely high turnover of jobs.

Both sides even had their own dedicated clans, so jobs never piled up. And with experienced leaders, even rookies grew quickly.

It was practically an ideal environment, and yet…

“Lots of failures recently, huh.”

“Sorry, Branch Chief…”

“Our apologies…”

The top two of the clans bowed their heads apologetically.

But the two were huge compared to me.

Men of the sea and men of the mountains.

Seeing those two symbols of raw masculinity shrink like that… it was kind of suffocating.

“Same causes as before?”

“Yeah, well… over here, we’ve got a massive uptick in ‘Death Gods.’ There’s even been sightings of some really big ones.”

“On our side, it’s a sudden influx of bears… and even reports of tigers attacking campsites.”

I let out a long, heavy sigh.

The so-called “Death Gods” were giant sharks.

Also known as “Guttony” or “Sea Reapers.”

They’re vicious enough to bite through small ships whole.

They used to only appear far offshore, but lately there’d been tons of sightings closer to land.

And on the forest side, we’ve got bears and tigers.

Both are very problematic.

There’s the “Great Bear,” a straightforwardly strong beast, and the “Night Tiger,” a completely nocturnal predator said to spell certain doom if you meet it in the woods at night.

Either one was a nightmare.

Thankfully, tigers usually don’t form packs, so there’s probably only one hanging around nearby.

Unless it has cubs, then all bets are off…

Still, even one tiger is a major threat.

If only we could find it sleeping during the day…

I was frowning, deep in thought, while reading their reports, when—

“*gasp!”

A shiver shot up my spine.

An instinctual fear—an overwhelming presence so powerful that I instantly understood I had no chance of winning against it.

They were clearly on guard, directing hostile intent our way, watching us closely.

And that presence… was coming from the guild’s entrance.

“Daryl! Isley! Ready your weapons! Staff and other Walkers, evacuate! Move quickly!”

“Got it!”

“Right!”

Though startled by the sudden shout, the Walkers inside the guild moved to the walls, and the staff ducked under the counters to hide.

The two men who had been sitting across from me each drew their weapons and turned toward the entrance.

This is bad. This is really, really bad.

What is this presence? It’s not normal.

Even when I encountered a hero-class Walker, I never felt a chill like this.

The highest-level human I’ve ever seen was level 79.

I still remember how much my spine trembled back then… but this—what is this?

This isn’t natural. There’s definitely a monster on the other side of that door.

“Once you confirm their appearance, if they show any hostility, you don’t have to hold back. As branch leader, I give you permission to attack.”

“Hah! I like the sound of that! …Or at least I’d like to say that… but can we even win?”

“Y-You scared, Sea-folk?! This kind of situation—you’ve dealt with worse before, haven’t you?!”

The Sea-folk, Daryl, gripped his rapier while cold sweat poured down his face.

The mountain-man, Isley, clutched a massive axe, his teeth chattering loudly.

Both of them were high-level—very high-level. And yet, this was their reaction.

Even I had a decent level myself, but against this, I couldn’t see any chance of victory.

I swallowed hard, pointed my staff toward the entrance, and stared.

“E-Excuse me… um, may I come in?”

With a faint creak, a single soldier from this country stepped through the door.

No. Not him. He’s not the source.

“Evacuate immediately! This is an emergency! Someone, get that soldier to safety!”

At the command, people from both factions quickly grabbed the confused soldier and pulled him toward the wall.

“What? Um, what’s going on?” the soldier asked dumbly, but once the burly men shoved him to the wall, he fell silent.

Alright, now we just wait for whoever it is to come through next.

…Or so I thought.

“Ahh~ um, is it okay if we come in?”

“Man, every guild’s built the same, huh? Feels like coming home.”

“The cafeteria might have a different menu, though? Let’s check it out after the appraisal’s done.”

“Azuma-sama, currently we don’t have much money to spare…”

“It’s awfully quiet in here. Is this place closed or something?”

『There’s definitely people around. I don’t think we need to worry about it.』

With a mix of voices, they came in.

Each one clad in jet-black armor, speaking casually, yet clearly not letting their guard down.

You could tell from their subtle glances at everyone around them. The catfolk girl had her hand on the bag at her waist.

Like her, the three men walking at the front were unmistakably on alert, their sharp gazes scanning the room.

I couldn’t see their eyes through their helmets, but the “dangerous aura” radiating from them was undeniable.

And behind them came the girls.

One of them even had a magnificent horn growing from her head.

A demonkin? That thought crossed my mind—but then I saw a tail like a reptile’s swaying behind her.

Following her was a small boy in plain clothes who seemed far too young to be with a group like this.

Who are they? What are they?

“U-um, is this some sort of evacuation drill? Should we wait…? Excuse me, the person under the counter? I have a few questions to ask.”

The man in the front knocked on the counter with a knock knock, and the receptionist, trembling uncontrollably, cautiously peeked out.

“W-welcome… What, um, may I help you with… today…?”

The receptionist was shaking so badly and even stammering her greeting that I decided she deserved tomorrow off.

She wasn’t high-level enough to sense the danger, but she likely understood that the cause of the emergency was them. She looked like she might faint any second.

“I’ve come from another country. The gatekeeper said I need an appraisal. By the way, is the branch leader here? I need to introduce myself and let them know I need the appraisal done.”

“Y-yes… Our branch leader is… over there…”

While saying this, the receptionist gestured toward me.

In that instant, all their gazes shifted toward me.

I wasn’t just cold with fear, I felt like my breath had stopped.

Please, stop. Please, don’t come any closer.

The two men in front of me had already silently sheathed their weapons.

“Are you the branch leader?”

Isley shook his head rapidly.

“Ah, my bad. In that case, it must be you. You look like a pirate captain, seriously.”

“No, no… I’m not the branch leader.”

Daryl also shook his head and, with a stiff motion, turned his gaze toward me.

And then, the black-armored figures focused their eyes on me.

Oh no.

I might just lose it here.

“Huh? Wait, this person’s the branch leader?”

The “black armor” gazed at me with confusion, observing me from all angles.

Well, of course they’re confused.

I was promoted to branch leader due to my skills in magic and leadership.

To the Walkers from other countries, I must look like a “little girl.”

I’m 32, though.

I thought to myself as I forced an awkward smile.

“U-um, nice to meet you. I’m Natalie Alcraym, and I serve as the branch leader of this guild.”

As soon as I introduced myself, they all froze.

This is bad. Did I mess something up?

Or maybe they’re just surprised a woman is the branch leader?

Sweat dripping down my face, I anxiously awaited their response.

“…That’s not fair.”

“Huh? What?”

“Why’s the branch leader here so beautiful? Our branch leader’s a tough old guy!”

“Tch! If I’d known, I’d have come here first!”

“Ahh… our branch leader is a good person too… Yeah, I get it. I don’t know, I just feel… frustrated.”

“Is it because of the breasts, Master…?”

“U-uh, she’s a very pretty person, right?”

『Men are simple creatures. Nothing changes, no matter the era.』

“Are you all breast-obsessed, Kitayama-san?”

Various shouts filled the air, and I couldn’t help but flinch in confusion.

This is bad. I think I might’ve just embarrassed myself.

“Ahhhh… Sorry, I got carried away. Anyway, we’d like to request an official appraisal for entering the country.”

“Yes, yes! We’ll get that done for you right away.”

I just want to leave.

Communication’s fine, and their manners are pretty decent? So I should be fine for now.

But their presence is still terrifying.

If they start on high alert, I can feel it. The hostility in the air.

“And also, we need work. We need money to go back.”

“Y-yes?”

“We’re registered as Walkers in another country. Well, these two—pointing to the horned girl and small boy—are exceptions. As for the boy, we found him in the forest and took him in. His parents are missing… I’ll need to request a job for that… but it’ll cost money. Hm, how should we handle that?”

While he was talking, I noticed a well-dressed merchant standing behind them, grinning.

Hey, what are you doing over there?

Can’t you feel this dangerous vibe?

I tried sending him some warning glances, but… No luck.

So, for now, I decided to move things along.

“An appraisal, yes? I’ll get that ready right away. Please, have a seat while you wait.”

I directed them to the reception area’s sofas.

Daryl and Isley quickly moved aside, and it looked like they were relieved to get away from the tension.

But then…

“Oh, right! Can we sell this? It’s the first time we’ve seen this magical beast, so we made sure to skin it properly. What do you think?”

“Spit!”

“What, huh!?”

The beastman girl and her companion pulled out a beautifully skinned tiger pelt.

Without a doubt, this was the magical beast causing all the commotion in the forest lately.

I won’t say anything else.

“We’ll have it appraised immediately, so please wait here. Would you prefer tea, coffee, or alcohol?”

“Coffee? You’re making coffee? I’ll have coffee!”

“Me too!”

“Well, I was thinking of having some alcohol now that we’re in town… but I’ll have coffee too, please!”

“I’ve heard of coffee… It was quite expensive in the city we came from. If it’s rare, I’d love to try it.”

“Coffee’s bitter… I’m not a fan. I’ll have tea, please.”

『Coffee… I’d love to try it.』

“Sorry, actually… I’ll have coffee too.”

“I’ll have tea, please!”

So, the group of black-armored figures, who I still didn’t fully understand, took over a corner of the guild’s reception area, excitedly discussing coffee and tea.

And following them, a number of merchants and soldiers arrived.

What’s going on?

What is happening?

“U-um, Branch Leader… Which one should I brew?”

“The finest is in my room. Use that one, please. I can’t serve them something subpar, even if I have to pay for it myself.”

“Y-yes, understood!”

Today, the Walker Guild would be much busier than usual.