The three idiots who couldn't become heroes are preparing a man's meal today as well. - Chapter 13

Episode 13: The Temporary Member and the Young Lady

---

After the commotion settled, the Branch Chief bowed his head to Minami.

She, however, simply shook her head in confusion, looking completely lost. Well, that’s fine, I suppose.

And so, I turned to Minami.

“Do you want to stop eating the same meals as us? Or rather, there’s no rule forcing you to stay with us. If it’s too much for you, you’re free to live your life however you want.”

I thought I was being considerate, saying something cool like that.

But her reaction was…

“Am I… no longer needed? If I am no longer useful, you may discard me. After all, I am just a slave… but… but…”

She broke down instantly.

Seeing Minami’s eyes fill with tears, I immediately dropped to my knees and bowed my head in apology.

And so, it was decided that Minami would continue traveling with us.

But the biggest shock of all was finding out that Airi-san, who had been saying things like, “I’m already past the age for marriage,” was only 23 years old.

I thought she was younger. Saying that out loud might be rude, though.

But still, she really doesn’t look 23.

Apparently, both Airi-san and the Branch Chief are nobles.

Since they have plenty of siblings, they’ve been given a lot of freedom. But even so, in noble society, 23 is already considered an old woman.

Are the nobles insane? A bunch of lolicon creeps?

As I grimaced at the thought, they informed me that adulthood begins at 15.

Among nobles, it’s common for engagements to happen even earlier, and many get married as soon as they come of age.

I have just one thing to say—screw that.

Wait, now that I think about it, Minami also mentioned she was an adult.

She looks really young, but does that mean she’s already over 15?

“The title Airi-san mentioned—is that different from an official rank? More like a nickname people just started calling you? But honestly, it doesn’t seem to suit you…”

“Ah, yes, that’s right. Back in the day, I specialized in close combat using body-enhancement magic, so people called me that. Ahaha, not exactly a name that carries any feminine charm, huh?”

“That’s not true at all! Magic itself is something we can’t use, so it’s incredibly fascinating to me. And being strong in close combat on top of that? That’s amazing! Fighting on the front lines together—that’s the stuff of dreams, hope, and pure romance!”

“Oh, you two… But I think if you actually saw me fight up close, you’d probably be put off. Generally, women are seen as more beautiful when they wait for their men to return home safely.”

As Nishida, Azuma, and Airi-san chatted and drank tea, I couldn’t help but feel a little envious.

I wanted to join in on that conversation.

But when I turned my gaze forward, the Branch Chief sat there, staring at me with a stern expression.

Over here, it was Old Man Talk central.

Thankfully, Minami was sitting beside me, which helped balance out the overwhelming manly atmosphere.

“Regarding this matter, I want to formally apologize once again. And I hope we can continue working together in the future. Of course, we will compensate you.”

“Nah, it’s not like we’re doing this for mo—”

“Master, the weapon payments…”

“…I accept your apology, Branch Chief. Now, how much are we talking about?”

Not just flipping my stance—I drilled it into place, ready to listen to what he had to say.

Apparently, the monster meat we’ve been eating regularly is considered a major problem.

Even if it seems harmless, you can’t just immediately serve it to people and say, “It’s totally safe, go ahead and eat!”

It requires years of research, not to mention the process of proving to the general public that it’s truly safe.

Which is why they want us to cooperate in this long-term experiment—basically, human trials.

We’re supposed to eat this stuff for years—maybe even decades—and prove that we don’t turn into demons or anything.

And it’s not just us—Minami, as a beastkin, and Thoor, as a dwarf, also need to be included in this “study” to show that different races aren’t affected either.

We should probably discuss this with Thoor before feeding him anything, just to avoid future complications.

After a long discussion, we agreed to undergo “evaluations” whenever we return to town.

In exchange, we’ll receive a hefty amount of gold coins each month.

The exact amount depends on how frequently we report back and the quality of our evaluations.

If we only return once every few months, the payment will be significantly reduced—he made sure to threaten us with that fact.

But even so, they’re still willing to pay us.

That just goes to show how valuable our information is.

The proposed evaluation period is about a week each time.

Ideally, we should live in the wild for an extended period, then return and get checked.

They want to observe how our bodies change and track our levels.

Of course, they would prefer daily updates, but that would restrict our movements too much.

In short, we’ve basically been given permission to wander around, eat whatever we find, and report back.

Man, what a hassle.

The reports will be sent to a national research agency studying magical beasts, and the payments will come from them.

At the end of the day, we can continue living as we always have, while getting free evaluations and an excessive amount of money from the government.

Damn, this really makes me feel like the protagonist of an isekai story. (TLN: bruh)

“I understand it would be difficult for you to immediately start compiling reports on the creatures you’ve eaten. So, I will assign Airi to assist you. She shouldn’t be a burden to your group. And besides… at this point, she’s practically one of you.”

“…Are you serious?”

“Is there a problem?”

A problem? Oh, there’s a huge problem.

Minami might get mad at me for saying this, but we’ve been able to restrain ourselves precisely because it’s Minami.

She’s someone we must protect—a kid.

That’s why we’ve been able to keep things under control.

But now, they’re throwing a dynamite-body bombshell into our group?

I’m going to suffer every single day.

I’ll be shedding tears of blood in my sleep.

“Uh… is there some kind of problem…?”

The branch chief asked again.

I wanted to snap, “What the hell, are you dried up or something?” but with Minami right next to me, I couldn’t say a thing.

“…No, nothing… nothing’s wrong…”

“O-oh… then could you stop looking at me like you’re about to kill me…?”

“Master…”

For some reason, I felt like I heard a sigh of exasperation, but I decided to ignore it for now.

Fine. If that’s how it is, I’ll just hunt until I’m too exhausted to be tempted by lust. If I push myself to the brink of physical collapse, there won’t be any time to get worked up.

Yeah, let’s go with that.

If the others follow the same plan, there won’t be any fools making mistakes either.

“Well then, I’ll leave the magic beast report to her… As for your party, just continue your usual activities. If any other Walkers ask, just tell them it’s an on-site investigation by guild staff, and there shouldn’t be any issues.”

The branch chief kept rambling on, but most of it went in one ear and out the other.

Damn it, damn it all!

Should I just start visiting those kinds of places every time I return to town?

But then what about Minami?

‘Hey, we’re going to a place that does… those kinds of services, so be a good girl and stay home, okay?’

Am I an idiot? Might as well die.

It’d be a terrible influence, and she’d probably never make eye contact with me again.

What the hell am I supposed to do?!

“From the way the conversation is going, it seems like I’ve joined the party. Looking forward to working with you, Leader.”

Saying that, Airi-san placed her hands on my shoulders from behind the sofa.

Stop. Don’t do that. It’ll make me misunderstand things.

“Kou-chan! Airi-san said she’s going to show us her body enhancement technique! Let’s go watch!”

“She said if we had magic, we might be able to do it too! Let’s give it a try!”

Nishida and Azuma called out excitedly.

Must be nice to be them. They look like they’re having fun.

If we did have magic, the first thing we should learn is something to reduce libido.

Does a spell like that even exist…?

———

One way or another, Airi-san, the receptionist, ended up joining our party, and to test her abilities, we headed to the guild’s training grounds.

Apparently, it’s just a wide, empty, flat space.

I imagined something like a schoolyard, but… how is training in a place like that supposed to help?

Maybe if you’re practicing human-on-human combat in case of an attack in town, but in the forest, that wouldn’t be useful at all.

Still, we went anyway, and when we arrived, someone else was already there.

“Oh my, are they practicing for the Monster Festival?”

“Monster Festival?”

I asked back, and Airi-san turned around with a wink.

She seems a lot more relaxed than when we first met.

Guess she’s getting comfortable.

“The Monster Festival. It’s just a festival, really. But famous knights and Walkers fight captured monsters in the arena. For the citizens, it’s an exciting form of entertainment. For the knights and Walkers, it’s a show of how elegantly they can defeat magical beasts.”

“Ah, I see. So that’s why they’re rolling around like that. Makes sense.”

“Hmm?”

There was a four-person party fighting in the training grounds.

One was in close combat, while the other three seemed to be support? A weird formation.

And their opponent? None other than our dear old neighbor, the King Boar.

“Seiyaaah!”

Judging by the voice, the close-combat fighter was a girl.

The three behind her were wearing robe-like outfits… but would those really protect them from a charging beast?

They just look like regular fabric to me.

Well, it’s probably some kind of fantasy material that’s stronger than armor.

“Man, putting on a show must be tough. They have to make it look like a close battle, right? Even just watching makes me nervous. Like, Why aren’t you attacking now!? and stuff.”

“Hmm?”

“I move a little differently from everyone else, so I can’t really say… but wouldn’t it be faster to just capture it outright? Having to act against magical beasts… that’s a wild job.”

“Uhh?? What are you guys even talking about—”

“Airi-sama, you’ll just wear yourself out trying to understand them. The Masters usually take down even bigger boars in a much shorter time.”

“Okay, hold on. You guys don’t have magic, right? I assumed you used traps or something, but… how do you usually hunt? Because your comments are really weird right now.”

Airi-san looked confused, but what was so strange about it?

Sure, we use traps sometimes, but they’re all primitive ones.

We’re not particularly handy, so we can’t make anything crazy, and we’re not smart enough to.

So obviously, we just fight head-on.

As we chatted in front of the training grounds—

“You people over there! You’re being too noisy!”

The close-combat fighter stormed over, looking pissed.

Crap, did we get too loud?

I awkwardly scratched my cheek, but she seemed pretty damn mad.

By the way, the boar was now completely restrained by transparent chains from one of the mages behind her.

Magic is amazing.

“What’s with you all?! For your information, I am a C-rank Walker and a knight apprentice! You’ve been whispering and commenting from afar, but do you honestly think you could solo a King Boar?!”

“Wait, solo? What about the people behind you casting magic?”

“Anyone who can’t use offensive magic isn’t a true mage. If they only use support magic, the record is considered a solo kill. They’re just support. You didn’t even know that?”

She scoffed at us, a smug grin on her face.

No way. Seriously?

So basically, unless you use offensive magic, you’re just a side character?

Even if you throw out tons of buffs and debuffs, only the person who lands the final blow gets the credit?

Minami was also registered as a supporter rather than a Walker—so that’s how the system works.

Yeah, no wonder we never meet any Walker mages.

True mages must get special treatment.

…Still, if someone’s backing you up, I don’t think that counts as a solo kill.

But I guess pointing that out would just be a waste of time.

“Why don’t you say something? Are you just a small-time coward who can’t even open your mouth when facing the person directly?”

Clearly furious, she must have been displeased with our attitude, as she took off her helmet and slammed it onto the ground.

And from inside emerged—

“Whoa, she’s stunning.”

“Oh wow, a girl like her fights boars? This world is insane.”

“Is that blonde or platinum gold? It’s unbelievably beautiful.”

Her long golden hair spread out gracefully, probably reaching down to her waist.

Was it tied up inside the helmet? It must be tough being a girl.

Her jewel-like blue eyes gleamed as she glared at us, her expression filled with irritation.

If she had twin tails, she’d definitely look like a textbook tsundere character.

“T-That’s not what I’m asking! Just what is wrong with you people?!”

“W-Well, well, well. My apologies, Eleonora-sama. It seems their way of fighting is a little… unconventional. I believe they were simply fascinated by a standard battle. Please forgive them.”

“Ugh, stop calling me ‘standard’ over and over. They’re just beginner walkers, no matter how you look at them…”

Airi-san, who had stepped in to mediate, began to persuade her. Though she continued to grumble, Eleonora-sama’s anger seemed to gradually subside.

So, this girl’s name is Eleonora?

She was saying something about knights earlier, and her name sounds quite noble. She might be an aristocrat.

Still, this world makes it tough to remember names when they’re this long.

“Hmph! Watch your tone, you third-rate rookies!”

Thanks to Airi-san’s negotiation, Eleonora-sama finally relented, throwing out a parting remark before walking back to her spot.

“Umm—”

“What?!”

“You forgot your helmet.”

I picked up the helmet that had rolled to my feet and held it out to her.

Her face turned bright red as she stomped back toward me and practically snatched it from my hands.

“T-Thank you! Now hurry up and leave!”

Yep. She might really be a tsundere.

Because of all the trouble, we never got to see Airi-san demonstrate her so-called body enhancement ability.

We decided that we’d just see it in action on the field and used the rest of the day for shopping.

Airi-san was also preparing for our departure, so we agreed to meet at the gate in the morning and set off together.

Just as we were about to part ways—

“Would it be alright if I borrowed Minami-chan for today? I noticed that while she has different clothes and leather armor, she seems to be lacking some essential supplies.”

That was an incredibly considerate offer.

The three of us had no idea what kind of items girls in this world needed.

Well, to be fair, we had no clue what girls in our own world carried either.

We happily handed Minami over, though she didn’t seem too thrilled, pouting as she was led away by Airi-san.

Watching her go, we resumed our shopping for camping supplies.

The main things we needed were bread, restocking on seasonings, and if possible, some new cooking tools.

Since we eat a lot of meat, I figured it was time to expand our menu a little.

“Man, I’m really looking forward to this week. What do you guys feel like eating?”

“I kinda want some ground meat dishes. You know, that tool that turns meat into minced meat? I wonder if they sell that here.”

“Since we have more people now, we should get more dishes, too. Also, about our sleeping arrangements… should we get another tent? It’s getting a bit cramped, and, well, you know… it’s tough.”

Chatting as we wandered through the market, we appreciated not having to worry about armor and weapons this time.

Thor had taken care of all of that for us, but since they were just borrowed, we couldn’t afford to break them.

We had to be even more careful when using them.

Despite everything, it had already been half a month since we arrived in this world.

We were getting used to it.

Though, letting our guard down would probably get us turned into monster chow.

In any case, more camping awaited us tomorrow.

We had to prepare well.

With that in mind, we refocused and continued our shopping.