The three idiots who couldn't become heroes are preparing a man's meal today as well. - Chapter 18

Episode 18: The Sensation of Killing for the Sake of Killing

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The third day of the expedition.

When reading stories, long journeys often get summarized with phrases like “several days by carriage…” so I never really thought much about it.

But in reality, spending days just traveling is exhausting.

We finally arrived at the site, and as everyone climbed out of the carriages… they looked terrible.

Our party had better meals, so we were probably in a better state than most, but still—

“The other parties look pretty worn out.”

“Well, even just traveling takes a toll on you… It can’t be helped.”

Nishida and Azuma said as they hopped off the carriage.

They looked slightly better than the others, but they were definitely tired.

Honestly, I wasn’t much different.

There were moments of frustration, and just sitting for so long was tiring in itself.

At one point, I even considered doing some exercises inside the carriage just to kill time.

“I get it, but we’ve got work to do now. Also, don’t forget to thank Airi-san. Airi-san, thanks for your hard work!”

“Thank you for your hard work!”

“Thank you for your hard work!”

“Oh, no worries~! Honestly, driving the carriage is probably less boring than just sitting and waiting.”

After bowing in unison to Airi-san, who had handled the reins for us, we turned our gaze toward the cave where the rescue target was supposedly taken.

Just looking at it, you knew it was the place.

Even from a distance, the gaping mouth of the cave radiated an unmistakable den of monster vibe, practically inviting us inside.

Somewhere in there, the client was waiting.

Thinking about that sent a chill down my spine.

It was a strange feeling—like I wanted to rush in immediately, but at the same time, my instincts warned me to be cautious.

So, I took a deep breath to steady myself.

“Are you all prepared? I have no expectations for you rookies, but at the very least, do try not to get in our way?”

Just as I calmed down, the blonde young lady had to go and say something unnecessary.

Seriously, this girl… does she ever not say something irritating?

One of these days, she’s gonna end up in some erotic doujin-tier situation—no, wait, that’s going too far.

“Yeah, no problem. Let’s get in there and get them out.”

“Hmph! At least your enthusiasm is somewhat commendable.”

With that, she returned to her party.

…Was she actually checking on us out of concern?

No, no way.

She’s way too arrogant, selfish, and condescending for that.

“‘Hearty Eater,’ you guys good? Then let’s move. We’ll be entering the cave in order—Battle Princess, us, then you guys. Ready?”

“Yeah, we’re good to go.”

“I’m counting on you.”

With that, we started walking toward the cave.

This was the real beginning of our life in another world.

This time, we weren’t hunting to eat.

We were hunting to kill.

The actions might be similar, but the purpose was completely different.

“Alright, get ready, everyone. From here on out, we’re not hunters—we’re walkers.”

“So, it’s our first real battle… Leave it to me.”

“I’m fine. I can move just fine.”

“It’s everyone’s first monster hunt, right? If things get dangerous, I’ll protect you, so don’t worry!”

“We’re not hunting for food this time, but we are striking down those who would harm us. I am prepared.”

With those reassuring words exchanged, we stepped into the cave.

Waiting inside were goblins… and the people we needed to rescue.

Facing our first humanoid monsters, we followed behind the other two parties, our hearts a mix of anticipation and anxiety.

…Also, this was the first time I learned that the blonde young lady’s party was called Battle Princess.

It was damp.

That was my first impression.

“Hold the torches properly. If you can’t see the enemy, you can’t swing your sword effectively.”

“Y-Yes, ma’am!”

From up ahead, I heard a commanding voice.

Man, that party sure has it rough.

While thinking that, we kept moving forward, relying on Battle Wind’s torches for light.

“Hey, why don’t you guys use torches?”

The last member of Wind of War—Riri, I think? The archer—turned back to us with a puzzled expression.

“If it gets too dark, we’ll use them. But for now, this light is enough. Most of us have good night vision. Too much light actually makes it harder to see ahead.”

“Oh, seriously? You guys eat magic beasts, you can see in the dark… You’re basically wild animals at this point.”

She laughed as he joked about it.

Just like with Kyle, I found Wind of War’s members easy to get along with.

They maintained just the right balance—not too distant, but not overly familiar either.

Which was a huge relief.

Especially considering the other party we had to deal with…

“If anything, I’ll treat you. But seriously, is this fine? Charging ahead like this. Is this how it’s usually done? Do we have a map or something?”

“Spare me the magic beast meat. And what, is there something worrying you? It’s a straight path, so there shouldn’t be any problems, right?”

“…Huh?”

“…Huh?”

What did he just say?

Did he just say it’s a straight path?

“Kyle!”

“Oi, don’t go yelling in a cave like that… What’s up?”

I hurriedly called out to the leader of Wind of War, and he approached with a look of exasperation—until his expression froze.

“…No way… You just noticed too? We’ve perfectly walked into a trap…”

Following his gaze, I turned around.

Two paths.

And this wasn’t the first time.

At the very least, I had already spotted two other branch points before this.

I had assumed everyone else had noticed as well, given how they were glancing around as we walked.

Sure, compared to the main path, these were just small “holes,” but they were large enough for an adult male to crouch through.

“Oi, Hearty Eater… How many branch points have we passed so far?”

“…This is the third one.”

“Shit…!”

Are you kidding me?

I’ve watched plenty of ‘Goblins Must Die’ anime and played through brutal, unforgiving ‘die-and-retry’ games. That’s why I caught on quickly. (Goblin Slayer and Dark Soul reference)

But these guys? They didn’t notice at all?

There were blatant markers meant to draw attention—objects deliberately placed to catch the eye, obvious as hell.

I thought they had noticed.

Damn it, this is entirely on us.

At the very least, I know for sure Nishida, Azuma, and Minami had noticed.

Even if it was pointless, I should have spoken up.

Since they kept advancing without hesitation, I assumed we were taking out enemies from the back first.

But this isn’t a game.

The mission ends when we rescue the hostages.

This was my mistake, exposing my lack of common sense.

“What are you all dawdling for!? We’re leaving you behind! …Tch! Everyone, on guard!”

The moment the blonde girl in the lead snapped at us, shadows emerged from a different direction than the path we came from.

Small figures—slightly greenish skin, but more humanoid than I expected.

Pointed ears, sharp noses, standing no taller than my waist.

Without a doubt—Goblins.

Damn it, they look way more human than in anime!

Except for the face.

“Blondie! Report the enemy count and type! We’ve got six goblin-like targets back here!”

I shouted, and a voice returned from the front group.

But—

“What!? Are you addressing me!? And don’t try to shirk your duties with lies! There’s no way anything could come from behind when it’s a straight path!”

Useless. No point talking to her.

We’ll have to handle this ourselves with Wind of War.

“Kyle, I need a favor. Can I borrow one of your people? We have no experience in monster hunting.”

“Who do you need?”

“Someone fast.”

“Poal! Get over here!”

At Kyle’s call, the youngest member of Wind of War dashed toward us.

A girl who looked about the same age as Minami.

But she wasn’t trembling. She held knives in both hands, ready for battle.

“Sorry, but I need your help. What are you good at?”

“Um, I’m fast, and I’m good at throwing knives.”

“Perfect! Kyle, can you hold the front? We’ll handle the rear!”

“Got it. Don’t die, ‘Hearty Eater’.”

“Don’t be stupid. No way I’m getting killed by something I can’t even eat.”

“Hah! That’s the spirit. Alright, let’s move out!”

With that, Kyle and his squad dashed toward the frontlines.

Alright, time to focus on our own fight.

“Azuma! Protect Minami and this girl… Poal-chan, right? Guard them with your life!”

“Got it!”

After punching away a goblin, Azuma quickly returned to our side.

“Nishida! We’re going in together! We’ve got a knife thrower covering us from the back—make sure to keep her line of fire clear!”

“Aye aye! Leave it to me!”

Nishida was also doing his best to keep the goblins at bay, making sure they didn’t get too close.

Reliable as ever.

Despite how disturbingly human these monsters looked, they had already jumped into the fight without needing my orders.

“Minami, keep your eyes on our allies. If someone needs a weapon, pull it from the magic bag immediately. A second’s delay could be fatal. If needed, I might tell you to throw one—be ready.”

“Yes, Master!”

Minami nodded firmly and placed her hand on the magic bag, ready to draw a weapon at a moment’s notice.

She looked like a swordsman poised to draw their blade.

“Airi, you’re on cleanup duty for anything that gets past Azuma. He’ll be focused on defense, so it’s your job to take them down. Got it?”

“Finally, you’re treating me like a proper party member. Understood.”

She winked as she clashed her gauntlets together with a sharp sound.

Ah, I called her by name without honorifics… Oh well. It’s easier to give orders that way.

“Um… and what about me…?”

Poal-chan asked nervously, looking uneasy.

I placed a hand on her head and gave her a reassuring smile.

“You’ll stay behind Azuma and throw knives—focus on the enemies in the back. If I call for you, be ready to step up to the front. Once your role is done, retreat immediately. You’re fast, right?”

“You’re even worse than my leader when it comes to bossing people around…”

With all the orders given, I stepped up beside Nishida, who was still keeping the goblins at bay.

Alright, let’s get started.

Goblin hunting time.

Not to eat.

Just to kill.

The moment had come to abandon past morals and ethics.

A situation that would test my resolve.

But strangely enough, I felt calm.

“Kill or be killed.”

That simple fact kept me grounded.

Feral beasts that charge blindly are much scarier than these things.

“Don’t go for a one-hit kill every time. If we cripple them, we can finish them off later.”

“Got it. Man, been a while since I last fought goblins.”

“That’s in games, dumbass. Focus. Let’s go.”

We slowly closed in on the “monsters.”

And then—

“Poal! Aim for the ones in the back! Nishida! We take them down from the sides! Raise the signal!”

Understanding my command, Minami tossed a pouch filled with red herb powder right into the center of the enemy formation.

The goblins instinctively turned their attention toward the sudden burst of color.

Nice one, Minami.

A perfect opening for the hunt.

“One down.”

“And another.”

“I-I got one too! Three left!”

Without hesitation, we struck.

Nishida and I each took one from the sides, while Poal landed a perfect hit on the one farthest back.

Three goblins fell, not even managing a scream.

“Alright! Next!”

And just like that, we experienced our first real monster battle in this world.

Unlike the protagonists of isekai stories who fight without hesitation, we weren’t like that.

I’d never stabbed a person before, but I imagined this was what it felt like.

The sensation of a blade sinking into flesh.

The strangled cries as life was snuffed out.

People say that all life is equally valuable.

But I’d rather be hunting animals than doing this.

It was an awful feeling.

Sickening, really.

But we had no choice.

If we wanted to save whoever was waiting to be rescued, we had to kill.

So, I forced my voice out.

I shouted, not just to rally the others, but to keep my own mind from breaking.

“…Sorry.”

Even so, as I drove my sword into a goblin’s throat, those words slipped out.

It wasn’t sympathy.

It wasn’t pity.

But just killing for the sake of killing…

That simply wasn’t in my nature.