The three idiots who couldn't become heroes are preparing a man's meal today as well. - Chapter 2

TLN: Sorry for the late update, it should be uploaded yesterday, unfortunately, I’m still not in the good condition

Episode 2: The First Job

After being kicked out of the castle, we did as instructed and walked down the main street. Asking passersby for directions to the Walker Guild, we finally arrived at our destination.

“Wow, this is totally fantasy…”

“It really feels like an adventure is about to begin…”

“Will we get glared at as soon as we walk in?”

We each shared our impressions, gazing up at the building in front of us. Though I’m not an expert on the Middle Ages, if someone asked which part of the era this resembled, I wouldn’t know how to answer. Still, a grand brick building stood before us.

The cityscape had a similar vibe, and while it’s a bit inappropriate to say, it felt like an overseas trip, which was secretly exciting.

I had hoped for a classic event like, “What are those clothes?!” followed by getting a bunch of money right away. Unfortunately, we were all still in our sleepwear. I was in a worn-out sweatshirt, Nishida was in his old school tracksuit, and the only slightly decent one was Higashi in his jinbei*. (*a traditional Japanese outfit consisting of a loose-fitting, short-sleeved top and shorts that is worn in the summer)

We were gaming together before bed when we got summoned here, so this couldn’t be helped.

“Alright, let’s go in…”

With renewed determination, we pushed open the double doors and were greeted by pure fantasy (again). Men clad in leather and iron armor were drinking at the bar, and a large counter stretched across the back of the building.

This is insane. It’s like a scene straight out of Monster H***er.

As I stood dumbfounded at the entrance, someone called out.

“Hey, you guys.”

A burly man with a shaved head appeared in front of us, glaring. I thought, “Finally, a classic event!” but before I could react, Higashi stepped forward, despite being usually timid.

He’s always dependable at times like these!

“Wh-what is it? We were just about to register as Walkers…”

Though his voice trembled, Higashi’s height of nearly 190 cm and his sturdy build were reassuring. Hang in there, Higashi! You’ve got this!

While silently cheering him on, the muscular, bald man sighed in exasperation.

“If you’re looking for odd jobs, I was going to tell you it’s the building next door… But it looks like you’re set on this. Just make sure to get some armor. Being a Walker is all about surviving.”

With that, the muscular man returned to his table. Wait, is he actually a nice guy?

While pondering that, none of us could muster a response because of how intimidating he looked.

Well, whatever.

Following his advice, we approached the counter, painfully aware of how out of place we looked without any armor or weapons. If only we had worn the armor we were given earlier…

Regretting it too late, we walked up to the counter.

“Welcome! Are you here for a job request?”

The cheerful receptionist greeted us with a beaming smile. Just this made the trip to another world worth it. As guys who rarely interacted with women, moments like these were precious.

Also, this lady had a rather impressive figure—another point for the otherworld.

“Uh, we’d like to register as Walkers…”

Since Higashi, who had bravely stepped forward earlier, now retreated, I had no choice but to continue the conversation. Nishida, you better join in soon, or you’ll be forgotten.

“Walker registration, is it? That will be six silver coins for the three of you. Oh, and before you go out on a job, you really should get some armor. In those outfits, well… you’ll die pretty quickly.”

“O-okay…”

Her experienced manner was comforting, but her blunt words hit hard. Despite her cute looks and cheerful demeanor, hearing “you’ll die” with a smile was unsettling. Still, we managed to complete our Walker registration.

The process was as simple as placing our hands on a crystal ball and receiving a card. If only getting a My Number Card back home were this easy.

What should we do next?

“We offer a basic Walker kit, including camping essentials and portable food. It’s one silver coin per person. What do you think?”

“We’ll take three sets!”

“Thank you!”

We might’ve been upsold, but it seemed necessary. With that, our wallets quickly grew lighter.

“No way! This is impossible!”

“Can people even beat boars?! Especially ones this big!”

Nishida and I screamed as we ran desperately through the forest.

“Ahhh! Stay away!”

“O*kotonushi, please, nooo!” (Princess mononoke reference)

Currently, we’re in the middle of our first job. The mission: to subdue magical beasts. It was one of those jobs that’s always posted with a note saying, “Feel free to take this anytime!” We accepted it without much thought.

The target: three “Shadow Wolves.” We heard it was beginner-friendly, which is why we eagerly signed up.

As you can see, things didn’t go as planned. Instead of wolves, we’re being chased by a wild boar we encountered in the mountains.

“If we keep running like this, it’ll catch up! We need to do something!”

“Higashi! What do you mean, ‘do something’? Are we supposed to summon Princess Mononoke or something?!”

Currently, we’re dressed in a mix of our sleepwear and armor we received from the princess. It’s not exactly the most respectable look, but at least the full plate armor covers most of our sleepwear. It’s heavy—metal armor is ridiculously heavy.

Higashi and I managed to wear it since we did physically demanding jobs in the “previous world,” but Nishida couldn’t handle it. He opted for lighter armor, wearing just a breastplate and guards on his limbs, leaving the rest in his tracksuit, which made for quite the strange look.

Despite the weight, we’re running this fast purely out of adrenaline. I have a sword at my waist, but there’s no time to draw it. If I did, I’d be flattened. No experience with isekai trucks, but now an isekai boar might cause my first road accident.

“I’ll handle it!”

“Higashi!”

To our shock, Higashi suddenly spun around to face the charging boar. This was certain death. That thing was not to be messed with, even if it was a scammer. (Why the heck you compare boar and scammer)eeeee

Colliding with it would put you in a coffin before you could even think about compensation. People often forget how common it is for boars and deer to cause traffic accidents in rural areas. After the crash, they usually run off, leaving the vehicle totaled. They’re tougher than cars.

Before I could process all this, Higashi, clad in full plate armor, collided head-on with the massive boar.

A thunderous THUD echoed, and then…

“Gahhh… Hurry! Now’s your chance!”

He… he stopped it. Higashi, the muscle-bound man, had halted the boar’s charge, wrapping his arms around its head. I underestimated both Higashi and the armor’s defense. Though bent from the impact, the armor protected him.

“Ko-chan!”

“I-I’m on it! We have no choice now!”

Panicking, Nishida and I drew our swords and charged at the boar.

Everyone feels nervous on their first job. Not knowing who to ask for help or what to do is natural. Failing is part of learning, right?

In this world, that logic doesn’t fly.

“We… we did it…”

“Boars are… this tough?”

“I’m exhausted… The armor’s bent too…”

It must’ve been only ten minutes or so, but it felt like an eternity. While Higashi restrained the boar, Nishida and I slashed at it relentlessly. We swung our swords, but the cuts barely made it through.

Was it the sword’s dullness or our lack of skill? Probably both, with the latter being the main issue. Even after tearing through the thick hide, we couldn’t reach the flesh. We had no choice but to keep stabbing.

Even when we managed to stab with full force, it only pierced a few centimeters. It was nerve-wracking. Unlike Higashi, Nishida and I simply lacked the strength.

After several futile attempts to stab and pull, the boar started thrashing about. At one point, Higashi was flung aside, and the boar turned its head towards us with full force. What happened next was sheer luck.

Nishida’s sword, barely lodged in the boar’s neck, swung around with it, and the hilt struck my armor with a painful thud. Despite the sharp pain, the boar’s movement drove the sword deeper into its neck, ultimately ending its life.

In short, it was an accident. We didn’t really do much.

“So, uh… what do we do with this boar?”

Nishida, his face tense, struggled to pull his sword from the carcass. Blood gushed out—disturbing but expected. I needed to toughen up.

“I’m out of energy… Should we find a place to camp, or head back to town?”

Both turned to me, waiting for a decision. It felt odd to be the one calling the shots. Fortunately, no one seemed injured, though our gear was in rough shape. We still had spare equipment from the princess’s bag, so we could swap out the damaged pieces.

Our main concerns now were food and shelter.

“Hmm… even if we return, I’m not sure this boar will fetch much. Since we have camping gear, why not stay out a bit longer? Speaking of getting used to things…”

“Like what?”

Pointing at the boar, I declared, “Let’s get used to the gross stuff too! Time to learn how to butcher and cook!”

Dragging the boar to a nearby river, we realized too late that we could’ve used the magic bag. We all sighed in unison. Regardless, we needed to figure out where to start. None of us knew the proper steps.

“Isn’t the first thing to drain the blood?”

“Yeah, I think if you don’t, the meat starts to smell bad.”

If only we could just stab it like in some video game and get instant fresh meat. But that’s not how things work. We had to try.

“But… how do we even do that? I’ve seen images of hanging them by the neck, but can we even cut it?”

Good question. Our swords had been deflected so much earlier—could we really decapitate it? Maybe it’d be easier once we removed the hide?

“Let’s just try. Waiting too long probably isn’t good for this sort of thing.”

As Nishida yanked his sword out, it snapped in half with a loud crack.

“Well… that’s not a good start.”

Out of options, I rummaged through the beginner’s pack we bought earlier, hoping for something useful. Surprisingly, it was filled with various tools, including different knives, a saw, some preserved food, a water bottle, and a generous amount of salt. It was well worth the price.

“Hey, maybe this thick knife and saw are for butchering? Could work for the neck too.”

“Here’s a beginner’s manual! Oh, it’s just about magical beasts and herbs.”

“Nothing on butchering? Just ‘wash the proof of the kill.’ Wait, is this boar even a magical beast?”

Despite our cluelessness, we started the process. We vomited a few times—gross things remained gross. But we pushed through, reminding each other it was necessary for survival.

Our work was sloppy. The hide was torn to shreds, and we weren’t sure if we drained the blood properly. When the innards spilled out, one of us fell into the river out of shock. By the time we managed to carve the meat, we were all exhausted. The sun was setting, and we worried if the meat would spoil.

“Alright, let’s cook it fast! We still need to set up camp!”

“I thought I lost my appetite, but I feel accomplished now. And hungry.”

“Me too. We need to eat to stay strong for tomorrow.”

Ready to cook, we realized a crucial problem.

“No fire! We have matches, but nothing to burn!”

“Damn it! I’ll gather wood!”

“Wait! We need large stones to make a stove, or the fire will go out quickly!”

We were overwhelmed, each fixating on our tasks.

“Okay, there’s salt in the beginner’s pack. I’ll season and prep the meat! Nishida, build the stove and find large stones. Higashi, set up the tents—they’re supposed to be easy. Let’s split up and get it done!”

“Got it!”

And so, our struggles continued. Camping was turning out to be much harder than we thought.