The three idiots who couldn't become heroes are preparing a man's meal today as well. - Chapter 21

Episode 21: Men’s Meal

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(Someone’s POV)

“Ohhh…”

Someone let out a voice of awe.

The meal prepared by the members of “Hearty Eater” was nothing short of luxurious—something utterly unthinkable in a camp setting.

Since there weren’t enough plates for everyone, the food was served on large leaves instead.

At first, I thought the brown-colored rice was some kind of pilaf, but according to the Master, it was something called “takikomi gohan.”

Apparently, the rice had been cooked together with various mountain vegetables and meat, allowing the flavors to seep in.

And that wasn’t all.

The miso-based soup was packed with mountain vegetables and chunks of potatoes, promising a hearty meal. Then, there was the so-called “tempura.” The moment my fork pierced it, a satisfying crisp sound echoed.

Unlike the fried foods commonly seen in town, this dish was supposedly much lighter.

I wasn’t sure what to expect, but I figured I’d understand once I took a bite…

But first—

“You’re absolutely sure there’s no magic beast meat in this, right, Master?”

“You watched them cook it yourself, didn’t you? No, there isn’t. Eggs are safe for you, right? As you can see, it’s all vegetables. And the dried meat is the stuff we got from your supplies.”

“Whatever, let’s just eat already!”

“Yeah, yeah!”

Poal and Riri, practically drooling, protested impatiently.

You two should have a bit more caution.

With all these unfamiliar dishes in front of us, wouldn’t it be wiser to observe them first?

“Milady, they have kindly prepared a meal for us. Can you stand?”

“Food… I’ll eat.”

The rescue target, who had been lying down, staggered to her feet and joined our circle.

The other two, who had also been incapacitated, still seemed a little unsteady, but their appetite remained intact.

“We truly owe you all so much… This debt—”

“Save it. Just eat already. Tempura’s best when it’s hot.”

“O-Okay.”

I couldn’t help but wonder—who was this Master? He just cut off a noble’s gratitude speech like it was nothing.

He had even spoken so casually to the other noble lady earlier.

Hopefully, this doesn’t come back to bite him once we return to town…

“Well then, let’s eat! Itadakimasu!”

“Itadakimasu!”

The members of “Hearty Eater” pressed their hands together and spoke in unison.

I assumed this was their custom, so—

“Well, we’ll partake as well. Um… itadakimasu, right?”

“Itadakimasu!”

“I suppose I shall join as well… Itadakimasu.”

Mimicking them, we pressed our hands together and began eating.

Since they said tempura wasn’t as good when cold, I decided to start with that while it was still hot.

First up—

Crunch.

The same crisp sound I heard when my fork pierced it rang out once again.

Then, as I took a bite, the light batter crumbled in my mouth, blending with the natural sweetness of the vegetable.

So this was what they meant by “lighter than regular fried food.”

Compared to the fried dishes I’d eaten in town, this was far less greasy.

But that didn’t mean it lacked flavor—far from it.

Apparently, it was only seasoned with salt, but that seemed to be the perfect choice.

The batter was delicious, offering an enjoyable texture.

Even as someone who normally didn’t care for vegetables, I felt like I could eat endless amounts of this.

I was beginning to realize that the vegetables I usually ate—those bland side dishes served on an iron plate—had been utterly lackluster.

They were just half-heartedly cooked and tossed onto a plate, where their flavor was completely overpowered by the sauce from the meat.

But this—this was an entirely different experience.

This was what vegetables were supposed to taste like.

The light batter ensured the flavor remained fresh and satisfying, making it easy to keep eating without growing tired of it.

Kakiage (Fried Sliced Vegetable), shiso leaves, kabocha squash (Winter Squash)…

I vaguely remembered hearing the names and descriptions of the various types of tempura, but at this point, I couldn’t recall them.

All I knew was that every bite was incredible.

Lost in my meal, I failed to pace myself—

“…Damn, I ate all my tempura.”

I had devoured every last piece without even realizing it.

Damn it. I should have saved some for the end.

As I stewed in regret, I glanced around to see how the others were faring.

“This is so good… I can never go back to eating rations…”

“Ugh, maybe I should just join ‘Hearty Eater’…”

“…”

Poal and Riri, those two idiots, were literally in tears as they shoveled food into their mouths.

And then there was Zaz.

With a face like a raging demon, he was eating at a speed that put even those two to shame.

He must have really liked it.

Can’t blame him, though. No one expected to eat this kind of meal out in the field.

And to top it off, it was better than what most restaurants served.

It made perfect sense that everyone was completely absorbed in their food.

Long-lived races like elves and dwarves, in particular, had a deep appreciation for good food…

“This is incredible… I never imagined I’d be eating something this delicious outdoors.”

The “Battle Princess” looked astonished, savoring each bite.

The rest of her group, however, had abandoned all pretense and were wolfing down their meals just like us.

“M-Milady, perhaps you should eat a bit more slowly…”

“No, impossible. I can’t stop.”

Shifting my gaze, I observed the young noble lady we had rescued.

Surprisingly, she was more like us—completely engrossed in the meal.

Perhaps she had gone without food for too long, but despite her delicate frame, she ate with an almost desperate intensity.

Honestly, I never would have expected this expedition to turn out like this.

And yet, here we were, gathered together, sharing a meal.

It was all thanks to them.

With that thought, I turned my eyes toward the members of “Hearty Eater.”

“Not enough… We need more meat, after all…”

“With this many people, even if we cook another batch of rice… We still have three more days before we reach town. We don’t have enough rice…”

“Masters, please calm down…”

“But Minami-chan, you’re looking pretty unsatisfied yourself, aren’t you?”

One corner of the group had noticeably low energy.

Even if it wasn’t enough to make them full, there was still a decent amount of food, right?

I could understand the men, but even the women weren’t satisfied?

The slave girls didn’t seem that different in size from our Poal, so just how much do these people normally eat?

As I cast a dumbfounded glance at them—

“If it’s not enough, I’ll fry up some more tempura! Anyone who wants more, raise your hand!”

At the words of the leader of the “Hearty Eaters,” every single person there immediately shot their hands into the air.

Of course, mine included.

Man… When we get back to town, I’m gonna have to pitch in extra for food expenses.

(Kitayama POV)

Three days later.

We finally made it back to town.

The journey there had been miserable, but I once thought the way back would be better… Yeah, those were simpler times.

“Masters, you truly did a great job.”

“Yeah…”

“Never thought we’d end up cooking all three meals for everyone…”

“Ahh… That was exhausting. We’re out of ingredients.”

“Well, except for the magic beast meat. Anyway, good work, you three.”

The trip back had been pure chaos.

Five of us, four from “Wind of War,” four from “Battle Princess,” and six people we rescued.

That’s 19 in total. Too many.

I felt like a lunch lady or the owner of a small diner.

And everyone ate. A lot.

Even the young noblewoman we rescued ate just as much as the others.

On top of that, she really took a liking to the takikomi gohan and kept begging for it.

I made the mistake of mentioning that it’d be even better with chicken and that there were other options too.

“I don’t mind magic beast meat! But please, I must have takikomi gohan made with chicken!”

“You mustn’t, My Lady!”

A conversation like that happened at least once a day.

No way could I let a noble lady eat something like that—I’d be socially executed.

So I kept making things like porridge, fried rice, or whatever I could use to distract her.

In the end, we even had to get creative with our emergency rations, like adding stuff to bread just to stretch the meals.

…Wait, now that I think about it, isn’t Airi a noble too?

I already fed her magic beast meat—was that okay? I should ask her later.

“If we ever need help again, we’ll be sure to request you specifically. Especially the ‘Hearty Eaters’—I’d love to have you cook for us at our home sometime…”

“Please, spare me…”

Come on, you’re a noble, your home food should be better than this.

As she waved her hands energetically, the young lady was loaded into a carriage and sent home.

Finally, it was over. I let out an exhausted sigh.

“Good work, that was fun, ‘Hearty Eaters.’”

“Please cook for us again!”

“Same here! I don’t have much time left in this world, so next time, I’d like to try magic beast meat as well…”

“Zaz…”

After exchanging parting words, the members of “Wind of War” left.

I think we’ll get along well with them in the future—if I see them around town, I should call out to them.

“Alright then, shall we go?”

“Yeah!”

Just as we turned to head back the way we came, Airi and Minami stopped us.

“And where do you think you’re going, Masters?”

“Where? To the forest.”

“We’re out of vegetables.”

“And we’re low on herbs, gotta restock.”

At our response, the two of them let out deep sighs.

…Why? I don’t get it.

“Masters, let’s rest at the inn today. Also, don’t you need to visit the dwarves?”

“Oh.”

“And report to the guild. We’ll just give them a summary today and handle the details later. So, for now, survival mode is off-limits.”

“Ugh.”

I’d forgotten a bunch of things.

So much to do… Honestly, we’re more suited to taking it easy in the wild.

As I was lost in thought about our strange preferences, the blonde noblewoman suddenly called out to us.

“I’ll take care of the brief report. So, ‘Hearty Eaters,’ please head straight to the inn and rest. The client’s confirmation should be done quickly, and the detailed report and rewards will be sorted out from tomorrow onwards. For now, just take it easy today.”

“…Who are you?”

“Wha—!? We’ve been traveling together this whole time! How can you say that now!?”

I knew. Of course, I knew.

But seriously, who was this girl?

Where did that sharp-tongued, loud-mouthed, golden-haired noble go?

She had no edge to her voice anymore.

The girl who kept calling us “rookie, rookie” and mocking us—where did she disappear to?

“I… I’ve been reflecting on my behavior. I really caused you all a lot of trouble…”

“Ah, yeah. Well, sure. That’s fine, I guess.”

Not only had the noble girl softened, but even her party members looked like they had lost their venom.

Before, they had the air of mere attendants, but now they seemed to have truly become comrades.

What is this? A coming-of-age drama?

As I was lost in thought with my half-baked musings, they walked away toward the guild with refreshed expressions.

“People really can change, huh?”

“Right?”

“The one who changed them has no right to say that.”

Airi gave me an exasperated look before smacking me on the back.

Well, whatever.

At least the job was done safely.

I wasn’t thrilled about staying in town for a while, but I could at least get some shopping done first.

“Alright, let’s book an inn and have a feast to celebrate.”

“Ooh, good idea. We couldn’t drink while camping out, after all.”

“Yeah, should we invite the dwarves too? It’d be a good chance to check on our new equipment.”

“In that case, let’s find an inn with a yard. We did promise to serve magic beast meat, after all.”

“Oh, you mean those dwarves who were interested in trying it? I need to report to the guild branch leader anyway, so I’d like to talk to them properly too.”

Our party, now livelier than ever, made its way into town, ready to toast to our journey.

It felt like we had spent a long time on this side, but in reality, it had only been about a month.

Our group had grown, we’d built relationships with other parties, and we’d even gotten custom-made equipment.

Honestly, things were going pretty well.

At first, everything felt uncertain, but now, every day was fun.

Looking up at the sky, I found myself smiling.

“One day, I’ll have to thank the princess.”

Without her help, none of this would’ve been possible.

Gazing at the distant castle, I silently conveyed my gratitude.

There was no need to rush—our journey had only just begun.

But someday, I would make sure to express my thanks properly.

“Kou-chan, what’s up?”

“Kita-kun, we’re leaving you behind!”

My trusted comrades, the ones who had been with me since the start.

“Masters, let’s go.”

“Kitayama-san, hurry up! Let’s go drink!”

And my new allies, who now surrounded me.

Life here wasn’t bad—not at all.

If anything, I felt more alive than I ever had before.

“Yeah! I’m coming!”

And so, today, I walked with my comrades again.

Tomorrow, the day after, we’d laugh like idiots just the same.

Where should we go next? What should we eat next?

Thinking about nothing but now, enjoying every moment.

This was our life on this side.

And tonight, we’d prepare another feast.

With Thoor and the others around, we’d have to cook plenty.

And so, as always, we set out to make another round of hearty men’s meals.