The three idiots who couldn't become heroes are preparing a man's meal today as well. - Chapter 27

Chapter 27: New Equipment

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A letter arrived at the inn from Thoor.

“It’s done.”

That was all it said. Just those two words.

But the moment the letter reached us, our minds snapped into full alert.

“We’re going, you bastards! Time for an equipment upgrade!”

“”Uoooohhhhhh!!””

“Huh! W-What’s happening?!”

Only Minami, who was weak in the mornings, shot up from bed in shock. Meanwhile, the rest of us were overjoyed.

We gathered all the money we had (which was already in our bags) and stormed out of the inn, practically skipping with excitement.

With a still-drowsy Minami slung over my shoulder, we rushed to Thoor’s shop.

And then—

“EXCUSE UUUUUS!!”

“WE’VE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS!!”

Our early-morning racket shattered the peace of the neighborhood as we kicked open the door—only for an even louder voice to roar back from inside.

It looked like they had pulled an all-nighter.

Thoor and his crew, their eyes bloodshot, greeted us with an almost manic enthusiasm, their gazes shining with an unsettling energy.

And lined up beside them were…

“THAT LOOKS SICK!!”

“THIS IS INSANE!!”

“WHOOOAAA!!”

All three of us shouted in unison.

Which, of course, meant that Minami, still on my back, woke up as well, frantically looking around in confusion.

Her gaze eventually landed on the armor that would soon be ours.

“…Is this for real?”

It was hard to tell what she was feeling from that reaction.

But before we could dwell on it, Thoor and the others launched into an explanation.

Following their voices, I looked around and noticed the array of weapons displayed as well.

Holy crap. We’re actually going to be using these?

“Anyway, I put together some gear suited for you guys. Full plate armor would be pointless for anyone but Azuma, so Kitayama gets a full-body suit made of a mix of iron, leather, and chainmail. As for Nishida, it’s leather armor everywhere except for the vital spots. If you’ve got any complaints, speak up—I’ll make whatever gear you need. As for the young lady, she’s still in leather armor, but I made something interesting for her. Let me know what you think.”

The dwarves spoke with absolute confidence.

Our excitement only kept growing.

Until now, we’d been cycling through gear that looked like the kind you’d find anywhere. But this?

This was pure fantasy.

The kind of badass armor you’d see on RPG protagonists.

And starting today, we’d be walking around town in these.

If people looked at us with admiration and respect, how should we respond?

“This is amazing! What the hell?! This is ridiculously cool!”

“I’m in light armor, but it still looks badass. Damn, can I change into it now?!”

“My gear has all sorts of extra stuff on it… but hey, it looks awesome, so who cares!”

Everyone voiced their excitement as we set Minami down and started trying on our new gear.

Minami should try hers on too, I thought—but of course, she was a girl.

She seemed completely frozen, likely embarrassed at the idea of changing in front of us.

“…Is this for real?”

She muttered the same words again.

Was something on her mind?

“Welcome—”

I am Keely.

I started working for the guild when I was fifteen. It’s been five years now.

I’ve gotten used to dealing with the oddballs among the Walkers.

Strange requests, bizarre outfits—I’ve built up quite a resistance to all of it.

But this?

This was too much.

The sheer presence was overwhelming.

“U-Um…”

“Ah, is the Branch Chief here? Also, Airi. She kept nagging me to show her the equipment, so I figured we might as well.”

The man at the front spoke in an oddly casual tone.

His lighthearted words completely clashed with his appearance.

Black. Just pure black.

His entire body was covered in pitch-black armor.

“A-Are you… not criminals…?”

“Huh?”

“Eek! I’m so sorry!”

I apologized reflexively.

Before me stood a group of four clad in black armor.

One of them, a small girl, averted her gaze apologetically. But the remaining three stood tall and proud, full of energy.

In this country—or rather, probably anywhere—black armor was a mark of criminals.

It was what criminal slaves were forced to wear when they were sent into battle.

In other words, it was the very image of danger.

We were taught that if we ever saw someone in black armor, we should report them immediately.

It was a universally recognized sign of a dangerous individual.

Typically, black armor looked like it had been crudely painted over the standard-issue gear of common soldiers.

But their armor was… different.

Indeed, it was pitch black.

A deep, abyssal black reminiscent of the night sky, with blood-red patterns adorning various parts.

The craftsmanship was exquisite—so intricate that I couldn’t help but stare.

It was clearly worth a fortune.

There was no way a criminal slave would be given something like this.

Their gear was usually rough, filthy, and stank.

But these four had none of that unclean aura.

Their armor was pristine, freshly made.

That was why, despite their intimidating presence, they were undoubtedly Walkers, not criminals.

Their presence was overwhelming.

Their armor was intimidating.

And yet…

“Why… black?”

“””Because it looks cool!”””

“I-I see…”

“Haa…”

The sigh of the black-leather-clad girl, her slave collar fastened around her neck, was strangely comforting.

“Take this!”

“Hmph!”

“Leave it to me!”

Various voices echoed in the peaceful forest.

We were back in our usual hunting grounds.

“This is insane. It’s so easy to move in. Or rather, I should say, it doesn’t restrict movement at all.”

I tested my range of motion, and there was none of the stiffness I used to feel.

The armor was incredible, but the weapons were just as impressive.

They cut—effortlessly, even against a Great Boar.

Those beasts had thick, tough hides.

Before, I had to force the blade in, pushing against the grain.

But now, even with the same motion, the sharpness was on a whole different level.

Every strike landed just as I wanted—like a game where every hit was a guaranteed critical hit.

“It really makes me realize just how restrictive my old armor was… I just assumed that’s how armor worked. But this? This is something else. It’s so light.”

Nishida, who had been darting around faster than a wild animal, returned.

He was right—the armor was ridiculously light.

And it didn’t hinder movement at all.

If the results weren’t obvious already, just looking at Nishida proved it.

He was always fast, but against wild animals, he’d still lag behind.

But now?

I had been worried about him using light armor on the front lines, but those fears had been completely crushed.

“‘If it doesn’t hit, it doesn’t matter!’”—he was practically untouchable.

The monsters couldn’t even graze him.

He was so fast, so silent, and by the time anyone noticed him—heads were already rolling.

What the hell, was he a ninja now?

“This is… incredible. There’s nothing else to say. I feel like I could stop a Great Boar with one hand.”

That might be an exaggeration, but Azuma murmured his thoughts in awe.

He was our group’s heaviest armor wearer.

His gear made him look almost bulky, but its shock absorption was insane.

And on top of that, the beast-like claws on his feet…

By digging them in while bracing himself, he could hold his ground better than ever before.

It was basically like wearing spiked shoes.

I understood that much.

But the look of it…

It was just too damn cool.

And since his armor was the biggest, his shoulders and elbows were massive.

Some parts were extra large, others razor-sharp.

Honestly, if he showed up as a boss fight in a game, no one would question it.

But the real kicker—

The helmet.

It was a full-face design with a visor that snapped down with a kashan! sound.

Once it was lowered, his face was straight-up boss material.

He looked strong.

And finally, Minami.

Out of all of us, she had been the least enthusiastic about wearing this armor.

But the moment we arrived at the hunting grounds, that completely changed.

“This is amazing, Master! Absolutely amazing!”

She had been promoted from supporter to Walker this time around.

Why? Because she finally had a way to attack.

Minami was clad in pitch-black leather armor, just like the rest of us.

But her left arm—her left arm was different.

Attached to it was a crossbow.

There was no other way to describe it.

A rapid-fire crossbow.

Zugagagaga!

Bolts—no, more like oversized darts—fired in rapid succession, tearing through small beasts.

Rabbits, moles, wolves.

Even deer fell victim to her relentless barrage.

She had completely succumbed to trigger-happy madness.

A true bullet storm incarnate.

And then, there was me.

“In this group of absolute lunatics, I’m the only one who’s… normal.”

A mix of iron and leather armor, fully covering my body.

It wasn’t bad. Actually, it was really good.

It was flexible, stylish, and functional.

But while everyone else had armor and weapons custom-built for their specialties—

Mine was just an upgraded version of what I’d always worn.

Even Thoor had said, “You seem like the type who moves around a lot, so let’s see how this works for you.”

This was bad. Really bad.

I wanted something unique.

Even back in our world, I was always told I had no defining traits.

I felt that way about myself, too.

That’s why I started focusing on things everyone else struggled with.

But when did I start thinking like that?

Only Nishida and Azuma ever told me, “That’s not true at all.”

“Kita-kun, we’re done!”

“Kou-chan, check it out! New record today!”

“Master, my part’s finished as well. This equipment is excellent—I might get addicted to it.”

One by one, they reported their results.

It was fine. I was still someone they relied on.

But if I was being honest, I had contributed the least today.

All I did was finish off a boar that Azuma had already pinned down.

That was it.

And someone people rely on—shouldn’t that mean more?

A faint sense of frustration gnawed at me, but I pushed it aside with a broad grin.

“With all this, tonight’s feast is gonna be amazing! What do you guys wanna eat!?”

No point overthinking things.

If I couldn’t contribute on the battlefield, I’d help in other ways.

Sulking wouldn’t make me stronger.

If I thought I was lacking, I just had to figure out how to improve.

And so, with a bit of a let’s deal with this later mindset, I started preparing the cooking gear.