The three idiots who couldn't become heroes are preparing a man's meal today as well. - Chapter 28

Episode 28: Nishida

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Tonight, once again, we set up camp in the familiar forest.

We’ve gotten so used to this place that I feel like we could move on soon… but that’s for the leader to decide. I have no intention of questioning that.

If we’re going to test new equipment, it makes sense to do it in the same environment. That way, we can fully understand the differences from our previous gear.

And this time, our armor and weapons are seriously impressive.

I can truly appreciate that now, all thanks to Kou-chan’s meticulous planning.

If it were up to me, I probably would’ve charged straight into the next unexplored territory the moment I got my hands on new equipment.

I know all too well that I still haven’t shaken off the game-like mindset.

But my comrades remind me—this is real.

That’s exactly why we need to move carefully.

There’s no such thing as being too cautious when it comes to safety.

“Hey, I found something good. Let’s cook it up later.”

With that, I pluck some wild plants and toss them into the pouch hanging from my waist.

Ever since I came to “this side,” life has been… the same as usual.

Some people might find it boring—this same old routine.

But for me, this is more than enough.

An otherworldly life I can fully enjoy.

Yes… I never have to go back to the way things were before.

――――

“Come on, even an incompetent guy like you should at least be able to handle this, right? Do I have to spell everything out for you?”

“I’m terribly sorry.”

“Yeah, no. Just apologizing doesn’t fix anything.”

This is how most of my days used to start.

I worked in the sales department of a company that could barely be called “major.”

My job? Creating piles of paperwork that may or may not have any meaning, visiting clients just to bow my head over and over again.

“I’m terribly sorry.”
“I sincerely apologize.”
“Please forgive my mistake.”

Words like these spilled from my mouth daily, like a reflex.

Honestly, I was at my limit.

Even when I achieved results, my superiors took the credit.

And if anything went wrong, I was the one who got blamed.

That was just how things worked.

No matter how much time passed, my salary never increased. Only my workload did.

I lost count of how many times I thought about ending it all.

But I gritted my teeth, convincing myself that this was just how society worked—that enduring this was necessary to survive.

Yet today, once again, my boss snatched away my achievements.

And in return, all I got were contemptuous stares from my coworkers.

“He works under that boss, and he still can’t deliver?”
“Guess he’s just that useless.”

The whispers reached my ears with cruel clarity.

If I included the unrecorded overtime, I’d worked about 400 hours this month.

And even after all that, I was still nothing more than “expendable” to this company.

The realization broke something in me.

I lost all motivation.

Before I knew it, my feet had carried me to the rooftop of the office building.

Beyond the fence, just one step away, was an escape—a place where I could finally be free.

I stood there, staring blankly at the sky.

A dark, pitch-black night.

“Whatever… It doesn’t matter anymore.”

Muttering those words, I was about to take that final step when—

Bzzzzt

My phone vibrated, its stupid ringtone cutting through the silence.

Who the hell would call me now?

Probably a client. I should’ve turned off my phone.

Annoyed, I tapped the screen and held it to my ear.

It was pure habit at this point—an occupational reflex.

I could’ve ignored it.

I should have ignored it.

But then, I heard a voice.

“Oh, you picked up! Nishida? How you been? Hey, me and Azuma were thinking of grabbing a drink. You wanna join? Haven’t talked in a while, and I know you’ve been swamped… No pressure, though.”

The moment I heard that voice, my foot hesitated.

Why?

Why, after hearing him, did I suddenly not want to die?

“…Yeah. Yeah, I’ll come. Where should I meet you? I want to drink with you guys.”

“Huh? Are you crying? What’s up with you? Ah, whatever, we’ll talk when we meet. You okay? You’re okay. You’ve been working hard, man!”

“What even is that?”

For the first time in months, I laughed.

“You’ve always been good with people, Nishida. But you’re a total idiot when it comes to yourself—I’m worried about you, man! Tonight, we’re drinking, laughing like idiots, and tomorrow, we’re skipping work to play some MMORPGs. Sound good?”

“What even is that accent? You’re still weird, Kou-chan.”

Kou-chan—Kitayama Kouta.

Back in elementary school, when I was too prideful to make friends, he was the first one to approach me.

Because of him, I got close to Azuma soon after.

And because of them, my school years—elementary, middle, and high school—were fun.

We got into fights with delinquents and got our asses kicked.

We found some random adult magazines and swore we’d marry women like that someday.

We helped each other out, relied on each other.

And every time, I was grateful to have them by my side.

Those times, when I was next to them, were the best moments of my life.

Being stupid together, laughing our asses off without a care in the world.

When did all of that become just a distant memory?

“Hey… Can I say something kinda weird?”

“Hell yeah, man! Spill it!”

Hearing Kou-chan’s ridiculous accent, I couldn’t help but chuckle a little.

“Actually, I was about to kill myself just now. I’m on the rooftop of my company building. But… would it be okay if I came to you guys instead?”

This kind of thing would freak anyone out.

They’d either not believe me or laugh it off as a joke.

That’s what I expected.

“Don’t you dare move from there. If you die, we’ll chase you down and finish the job ourselves. Oi, Azuma! We’re storming in! The rooftop of Nishida’s building!”

“Huh? Eh? What’s wrong, Kita-kun? Did something happen to Nishi-kun?”

“Say no more! We’re getting to Nishida’s place even if we have to mow everyone down!”

I could hear their voices over the phone.

Ah… So this is what it means to be blessed with friends.

That’s how it felt to me.

That being said—

“Uh, wait. I’m fine, so I’ll come to you instea—”

“Shut up! We’re coming, so just wait there! Actually, we’re already close— Oraaah! Get the hell outta my way, you bastard!”

“Jeez! I don’t care anymore!”

Along with their shouting, the emergency alarm at my company blared to life.

Ah, what a disaster.

Not only am I causing trouble for them, but this is going to lead to a whole mess of paperwork for the company…

While I was lost in thought about all that, the rooftop door suddenly burst open with a loud bang.

And there they were.

My two friends, storming in while practically dragging a couple of security guards along with them.

“Tch! Azuma! Bust down the fence!”

“No way in hell! I’ll handle all the security, so, Kita-kun, you’re up!”

“Aye aye, screw off!”

Azuma, who had always been massive and ridiculously strong, grabbed the guards holding onto Kou-chan and ripped them away in one go.

With his path clear, Kou-chan charged forward, vaulted over the rooftop fence, and landed right beside me.

Seeing him like that, I couldn’t help but think—ah, he really hasn’t changed since we were kids.

Wild, untamed, like the leader of a gang of little brats.

There’s no way anyone would believe we were both working adults.

And yet, for some reason, I felt an overwhelming sense of nostalgia.

“Nishida, quit this job.”

“Any company that grinds you down like this isn’t worth a damn. Azuma and I will help you find something better. So let’s get out of here, yeah?”

Rather than simply offering me a hand, he grabbed mine tightly, making sure I wouldn’t slip away.

This was just who he was—Kitayama Kouta.

A hero who never thought ahead but would always show up when someone was in trouble.

Back in school, I had always stuck by his side, admiring him.

Hoping that one day, maybe, I could be like him.

Dreaming that maybe, just maybe—

“Do I even deserve to stay by your side…?”

“I can’t do anything at work, I’m weak in a fight, and I’ve got nothing going for me. Should someone like me really be with you guys…?”

I didn’t care about appearances anymore.

Tears streamed down my face as I clung to his hand.

Pathetic. So damn pathetic.

That was who I was now.

But—

“You dumbass!”

“Doing your best at what you can—that’s what work is! Dumping shit on someone else ain’t a job, it’s exploitation!”

“And don’t you dare call yourself weak! You always had my back in fights, didn’t you? You’re strong—way stronger than me!”

“So don’t you dare die! Stay right next to me!”

“We’ve already got East, West, and North! All we need is South, and we’ll be unstoppable!” (Their name have the same meaning, also, Minami is South)

“So don’t go dropping ‘West’ from the team on your own, dumbass!”

His words were reckless, irrational, and completely nonsensical.

But at that moment, they were exactly what I needed.

That single declaration—”You’re needed.”

That alone was enough for me.

“You really are an idiot, Kou-chan… Alright.”

“Tomorrow, I’ll tell them I’m quitting.”

“The hell you will, dumbass! You tell them today! Right now! Call ’em up and scream in their damn faces that you won’t work under some bastard like them!”

“You’re as unreasonable as ever, Kou-chan…”

“Isn’t it kinda nice when some things don’t change, even after growing up?”

“That’s just who I am—Kitayama Kouta.”

“Some might say I’m just immature as hell, but whatever.”

“Now hurry up and make the damn call. And tell your boss if he gives you any crap, I’ll rip out whatever hair he’s got left.”

“Hah… Yeah, you’re as dumb as ever. Also, my boss is already bald.”

“Then go for the beard. If he doesn’t have that, tell him I’ll wax every last hair off his body and strip him naked!”

Reckless. Hotheaded. Always ready to throw hands over anything he didn’t like.

Maybe that’s why—

We all naturally saw him as our leader.

Even when we stepped into an unknown world, we followed him without hesitation.

Because if we were with him, he’d always give us a purpose.

He’d always tell us—”You’re needed.”

And that small, simple thing…

Meant the world to me.

That’s how I survived.

Even in this other world.

By all logic, things shouldn’t have gone this smoothly.

But we made it because we were together.

I still believe that.

That’s why I have no complaints about this life.

Even if we found a way back to the other side, I doubt I’d take it.

Because I know—without a doubt—they would choose to stay here, too.

That’s how fulfilling this life has been for us.

Maybe I was reminiscing about the past because I ran into some spineless kid who reminded me of my old self the other day.

I might’ve said some high-and-mighty stuff, but honestly, I’m no different.

Gil Ayram, was it?

Now that I’ve gotten involved, I just hope he can handle himself.

Well, whatever.

“Alright, what’s for dinner today?”

Still in a good mood, I stuffed the wild vegetables I’d just found into my pouch and ran back to my friends.

……….

……….

Crap. This is bad.

What Nishida brought back today—this is a huge deal.

“M-M-M-Matsu… M-Matsutak—”

“No way… Even back there, I never got to eat this…”

“I figured it might be that… It looked similar, so I checked, and it said it’s edible.”

A mushroom.

But not just any mushroom.

It had an incredible aroma—or at least, I thought it did.

I wasn’t sure, but its shape was unmistakable.

It was matsutake.

“Damn it! If only we had a smartphone, we could look up how to cook this! I’ve never prepared matsutake in my life!”

“Oooohhh, give me back my search engineeee!”

“Alright, how about we just make soup with it first? We don’t know much about the taste or smell yet.”

“”That’s it!””

“I don’t really understand, but… is it something delicious?”

The only one still confused was Minami, who tilted her head, curiously examining the matsutake.

Heh… Just you wait.

Prepare to be awed by the legendary flavor and aroma of the prized matsutake!

Though, to be fair, none of us had ever cooked it before, so who knew how it would turn out?

But it didn’t matter.

Just the fact that we were eating matsutake was satisfying enough.

Back there, we were always broke and busy, living off the cheapest food we could find.

Luxury ingredients like this were way out of our reach.

And yet, here it was, right in front of us.

And best of all? Cost: 0 yen.

We had no choice but to eat it.

“Alright, boys! Time for dinner!”

“”Ohhh!!””

“Yes, Master!”

And so, once again, we gathered for a meal.

Tonight’s menu might be a little on the healthy side, but the excitement was through the roof.