The three idiots who couldn't become heroes are preparing a man's meal today as well. - Chapter 30

Chapter 30: The Strange Neighbor, Second Encounter, and Tonteki* Sandwich

(*Pork steak)

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“Um, isn’t this really weird?”

Minami, who had been taken to the barber the other day, was still playing with the tips of her hair, looking uneasy.

I had only planned for the damaged ends to be trimmed, but it seemed like the barber had given her a full treatment. She looked much neater than before.

It’s amazing how a little effort can completely transform a girl’s appearance.

Now that her hair looked healthier, she gave off a slightly more mature impression.

“Hmm, I think it looks fine. It suits you.”

“Yeah, you look more grown-up.”

“Uh-huh, I think it’s cute.”

“You guys have no problem saying things like that to Minami, huh…”

Airi sounded exasperated, while Minami, blushing furiously, hung her head.

Honestly, it was more like the way you compliment a niece or a younger relative— “Oh, how cute!”— rather than anything else.

I wasn’t exactly the type to casually throw out such lines to people my age.

But anyway, leaving that aside, we were currently riding in a shared carriage.

It would have been faster to borrow a carriage from the guild, like before, but the length of our stay was uncertain.

Since there wouldn’t be anyone to take care of the horses in the meantime, this was the best option.

That said, the trip wouldn’t even take a full day, so it wasn’t much of a hassle.

“Are we almost there? Should we head straight into Dashbird territory?”

Minami, who had calmed down a bit, muttered while gazing out the window.

Then—

“You guys here to hunt Dashbirds?”

Since it was a shared carriage, there were, of course, other passengers.

One of them, a man who looked exactly like what you’d imagine a typical villager to be, called out to us.

At first, he seemed a bit wary of us because of how we looked.

“Yeah, we’ve got a request to retrieve their eggs.”

Upon hearing that, he let out a small grimace before continuing.

“Ah, another noble’s request, huh?”

“Be careful, will ya? This year’s Dashbirds are not only more aggressive, but there’s a lot more of ’em. They’ve been swarming near the village lately— it’s been a real nuisance.”

“That doesn’t sound good… Has anyone put out a request for extermination?”

“None of the villages are saying anything unless someone actually gets hurt. We don’t have the money for that. Those things have loud footsteps, so as long as we hide until they pass, we’re fine. But because of that, we can’t stay out in the fields for long… With their numbers growing like this, folks are whispering that there might be a superior variant among them.”

“A superior variant, huh…”

Like that goblin from before?

Though that one seemed more like a mutant than an evolved form.

Either way, that was useful information.

“Thanks. We’ll try to take down as many as we can. If there really is a superior variant, we’ll do our best to eliminate it.”

“Eh? Ah—sorry, I didn’t mean to pressure you into anything. I just wanted to warn you.”

“Haha, it’s fine. For us, this is just another way to make a living. Any information helps.”

Literally, hunting these things was how we got food.

As we were talking, the carriage came to a stop.

Apparently, we’d reached a resting point for the horses.

This was also where we needed to get off.

After thanking the old man and the driver, we stepped off the road and headed straight into the grasslands, making our way into the forest.

If the previous forest was a jungle, this one was more like a great woodland!

According to the map, this area was a mix of forests, plains, and a large spring.

The terrain was mostly flat—no wonder the Dashbirds found it easy to run here.

I’d always imagined ostriches living in barren lands, but I guess they could survive pretty much anywhere.

“Alright, let’s head to a water source first, secure a campsite, then scout the area.”

“Got it. Let’s also grab whatever useful stuff we find along the way.”

“Would be nice if we ran into a Dashbird early on. I’d like to fight a single one first, just to test the waters.”

And so, our adventure in this new land began.

What kind of beasts would we encounter this time?

I couldn’t wait to find out.

———

“What… is that?”

“The trees are walking.”

“That one even has a face-like hole in it.”

In front of us, a tree was walking.

I know that sounds crazy, but it was literally a walking tree.

A white tree with long, thin limbs, strolling along with perfect posture.

Was this some kind of relative of Daikonmaru? (the mandrake from before maybe?)

“That’s a Treant. It won’t attack unless provoked. Sometimes they wander into villages and plant saplings everywhere, so when that happens, people put out extermination requests.”

Of course, the receptionist was quick to explain the creature.

A magical beast… or would this be considered a monster?

I still wasn’t sure about the classification system.

Either way, what should we do?

We weren’t battle maniacs, so if it wasn’t a threat, we didn’t have any reason to attack it.

But… it was going in the exact same direction as us.

“This is such a weird feeling. We’re walking side by side with a Treant.”

Minami, looking just as unsettled, kept glancing at it.

Meanwhile, the Treant itself kept moving at its own pace, completely unfazed.

I wonder—if it made good firewood or had useful sap, would it be worth hunting?

And so, we walked towards the spring, with a tree accompanying us.

To cut to the chase, we got used to it quite quickly.

After a while, I walked alongside the Treant, even overtaking it a few times, and it completely ignored me.

I tried touching it, and as long as I didn’t show any aggression, it seemed like it had no problem with that, continuing to walk undisturbed.

“Well, in the end, we ended up coming to the spring together.”

“The spring’s so wide.”

“It’s peaceful here… it makes me want to sleep.”

It was an open area marked on the map, with sunlight streaming in where there were no trees.

It looked like a perfect resting spot for magic beasts, but honestly, I wouldn’t mind if they came over. It’s like having food delivered without needing to search for it, pretty great.

“Alright, let’s take a break here and start preparing food.”

“Understood, master. I’ll get the tools out now,” Minami replied, pulling out a stove and cooking utensils from her magic bag.

“U-um… what should I do with this?”

Just beside us, or more precisely, right next to Minami, the Treant sat down smoothly.

What’s it doing? Is it really sitting down?

Minami, startled by the sudden “sports sitting” next to her, nervously looked around, unsure what to do.

“It doesn’t seem aggressive, so I guess it’s fine… Minami, you should move a little farther away.”

“Yes…”

After switching places with Minami, the Treant didn’t react at all.

It didn’t seem like it had grown attached to her.

What in the world is this tree?

“I’ve never heard of a Treant acting like this… well, I’ve never seen anyone walk with a Treant either.” Airi remarked, keeping her distance and observing the tree sitting next to us.

It might just be fine if we leave, but something tells me it might follow us.

“Well, I guess it’s fine.”

“Is it really?”

“As long as it doesn’t attack… I think it’ll be okay.”

And so, we began preparing our meal.

Today’s menu was a quick Tonteki (pork steak).

It was from the truffle pig I had found earlier.

Normally, I try not to hunt them as they help mushrooms grow, but this one had dared to attack us, so we fought back and now had a large chunk of meat.

I cut the giant hunk into steak-sized pieces.

I lightly sprinkled salt and pepper on the surface to season.

The meat process was really simple.

I didn’t need to tenderize it, as it was already quite tender.

Next was the sauce, which was also pretty simple.

I mixed soy sauce, mirin, sake, sugar, grated ginger, and garlic.

I had heard that adding oyster sauce or something fancy like that makes it taste even better, but I didn’t have any of that, so I just made do.

Besides, I wasn’t sure if they even sold that kind of thing in this world, so there was no point wishing for what wasn’t available.

This was already delicious enough.

After the pans heated up, I added some oil and started putting the meat in.

While it cooked on medium heat, I shredded some cabbage.

After flipping the meat at the right moment, I prepared some bread.

I had originally wanted to make Tonteki Donburi, but the situation wasn’t really conducive for that, so I just wanted to eat quickly.

I glanced over at the Treant, who was still sitting in its spot.

Its three holes that looked like a face were staring intently at us.

Well, I decided to just ignore it.

After confirming the meat was cooked through, I added the sauce from earlier and let it simmer.

Once both sides were properly seasoned, it was done.

I laid cabbage on the bread from earlier, cut the cooked tonteki, and placed it on top.

Then, I added another piece of bread, and the easy tonteki sandwich was ready.

That said, since I made a lot, it still took some effort.

“Alright, it’s done!”

““We’ve been waiting!””

“It smells great. I feel like it’s been a while since I had pork.”

“This is it… I’ve been asking for this for a week…”

Each of them spoke, and we all put our hands together.

“Now then, let’s dig in!”

“““Thank you for the meal!”””

With one voice, everyone eagerly brought the tonteki sandwich to their mouths.

Fluffy bread, the sweet and savory tonteki, and the crunchy cabbage.

A very simple combination, but it was delicious.

If I wanted to make it fancier, I could toast the bread or add a boiled egg, but it’s good as is.

I’d like to try eating it with rice next time.

I want to have it in a rice bowl.

While I thought about that, I was about to finish eating quickly, but…

I felt an intense gaze.

“U-um… Master.”

“Think of it as a decoration, don’t worry about it.”

The gaze persisted.

“It’s a bit hard to eat with that… staring…”

“Heh… I wonder what it wants.”

“Maybe it feels like we’re companions after walking together… but that’s probably not it.”

It seemed like everyone was concerned, eating awkwardly.

It really felt like one of us was being excluded.

“By the way, do treants even eat? They’re magical beasts, right?”

“So, does it eat meat? But if that were the case, it would’ve attacked us by now…”

“It looks like a tree… Should we try giving it water? But there’s a spring right in front of us…”

We discussed it but still couldn’t come to a conclusion.

So, as a formality, I placed one sandwich on a plate and offered it to the treant.

Naturally, there was no response, so I placed the plate at its feet.

It kind of looked like an offering.

“Yeah, this is definitely strange…”

“What a horrifying scenery…”

I thought so too.

Just as I was about to take the plate back…

“Master! The treant!”

Minami shouted, pointing at a certain part.

It was its foot.

It was moving very slowly, but it was definitely moving.

Gradually, it extended its foot, getting closer to the sandwich.

It seemed like it was sniffing it, expanding and contracting, and then…

“Ah.”

It stepped on it. It really stepped on it.

What kind of message is this?

If it was just stepping on it, I’d turn it into firewood immediately.

“It’s… moving, isn’t it? It’s kind of wiggling.”

As Airi said, it was definitely moving.

It didn’t seem like it was crushing it or making it worse, more like… it was inflating and deflating like a pump.

About a minute later, when the treant withdrew its foot…

All that was left was the plate; the sandwich had disappeared somewhere.

“Huh? Did you eat it? You really eat it?”

I peered at the underside of its foot, but it wasn’t stuck there, squashed flat.

I tried putting another sandwich on the plate, and this time the treant quickly placed its foot on it.

Oh, it’s definitely eating.

And so, our strange meal with the neighbor began.