The three idiots who couldn't become heroes are preparing a man's meal today as well. - Chapter 31

Episode 31: Sudden Farewell and Encounter

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The Treant ate the sandwich with its foot.

I know it sounds unbelievable, but it’s true.

The one most confused about this was, as usual, Airi.

“What am I supposed to write in the report about this…”

Maybe it eats bugs or worms with its feet regularly? I don’t know.

In the end, the Treant finished five sandwiches, and our meal was over.

So, it was time to clean up, and once again, the Treant started doing something strange.

It walked towards me with a heavy step, and then, without warning, started sticking its hand into its head—or rather, into the thick leaves growing there.

I was on guard, wondering what it was doing, when I heard a small popping sound and saw it pull its hand out.

In its hand were three golden, pear-like things.

It offered them to me, but… what?

“Are you giving this to me?”

It probably could be eaten… maybe? It was golden, after all.

“N-No way! That’s a ‘Golden Apple’! Wait, it grows from the Treant!?”

Apparently, this was a famous thing.

And it wasn’t a pear, it was an apple.

After thanking it, I put the fruit in my magic bag, and then the Treant plucked two more and handed them to me.

It seemed to be giving me one for every sandwich I ate—what a dutiful creature.

Airi looked stunned, while I silently stowed the apples.

“Well, I’ll just clean up… I’ll wash the dishes.”

“Ah, we’ll do it too.”

“Yeah, we’ll go wash them.”

The three of them ran off, as if to say, “Leave it to us.”

As I glared at them, the Treant started to carry over the remaining frying pan and other utensils.

“Kitayama-san, please help me with the report… I have no idea what’s going on.”

“Maybe it’s gotten attached to us?”

A dry laugh escaped me, and the Treant sat next to the others and began washing the dishes.

It was probably imitating them.

To think there are magical beasts like this… Is it going to follow us from now on?

Wait, are we really going to keep it?

“Well, let’s just call it ‘Rent-kun’.”

“Please, don’t! You’re not seriously going to bring that thing back to the town, are you?”

Well, it really seemed like it was going to follow us, though.

I figured it would be fine to have it tag along while we’re in the forest. It seemed like it would be interesting.

But just as I was thinking that, something happened.

“Dwaaah!”

“Get back!”

“Kyaaah!”

A huge splash of water rose, and something jumped out of the spring.

And it bit onto…

“Rent-kun!”

A giant fish had bitten into Rent-kun.

It really chomped down hard.

It was a fish about the size of a great white shark… a tuna.

In the next moment, that big tuna crushed Rent-kun in half.

“You bastards! Get ready for battle! Rent-kun!”

“You’re already getting attached, aren’t you?”

“Huh? Rent-kun? Who’s that?”

“Never mind that! It’s a tuna! We can’t let it get away!”

“T-The Treant got bitten in half…”

Everyone raised their voices, thrusting their weapons into the giant tuna and dragging it ashore.

They say encounters are fleeting, but who knew that naming it would lead to such a sudden farewell.

Goodbye, Rent-kun.

You were quite an interesting creature…

By the way, the “Rent-kun” that got bitten in half was later collected as magic stones and firewood.

――――

A few days after losing our dear companion, we were still exploring the forest.

I was hoping to find an ostrich soon… are they really going to keep appearing?

Just as I was about to complain, I heard it.

“What’s that? A rumble?”

From somewhere, we heard a loud, rhythmic noise.

“This sound… it’s getting closer!”

With a twitch of her cat ears, Minami spoke up, and everyone immediately took a defensive stance.

Could it be? Is the time finally here?

Although, the sound seemed to come from a large group.

“Azuma, use the large shield. Don’t try to block, just deflect. There are probably a lot of them.”

“Got it. We need to avoid getting surrounded.”

Minami pulled two shields out of her magic bag, and after Azuma equipped them on his arms, he slammed them together.

Now that he’s wearing full armor, he really looks like a demon lord.

“Nishida, Airi, approach from the sides. If attacking maintains the group’s coordination, you might need to lead them.”

“Understood. If the red herbs work, I’ll try using them to lead them too.”

“A chase with the dashbirds, huh? I’ll do my best.”

One of them checked their machete, and the other checked their gauntlet before lowering their stance.

They seemed calm about it, but racing an ostrich on foot seems dangerous.

Well, considering Nishida’s legs and Airi’s physical enhancements, it might actually be possible—it’s becoming a norm for me.

The two of them moved away from us and hid in position.

“Minami, if you see the ostriches, shoot them with the crossbow. If they get too close, stay behind Azuma. I’ll take the front.”

“Got it. Master, be careful.”

Minami armed herself with the crossbow on her left arm. Once she pulled back with a sharp clash, the bow extended, and she was ready.

“Alright, they’re coming!”

From behind the trees, a loud thundering sound echoed, and a brown mass appeared, charging towards us.

As it came closer, I saw they were completely ostriches.

The only difference was they had crests, and their faces looked even more menacing than regular ostriches.

As I observed them, a signal came from Nishida, who was hiding in a tree.

They had entered our strike range.

“Operation start! Fire!”

“Yes!”

At my shout, the ostriches charged straight at us.

But in the next moment, Minami’s volley of arrows struck the lead group.

“Twenty in total! Three down!”

Nishida’s voice echoed from above, and at the same time, Airi punched the ostrich that ran past her.

“That’s four! Sixteen left!”

With the shout, Nishida jumped down from the tree and, with precision, stabbed his machete into one’s neck as he landed.

“Five!”

Fifteen left.

We were off to a good start—one quarter down.

“I’ll pierce through the middle! Don’t stand in my line of fire!”

With a loud huff, I hurled the black spear in my right hand with full force.

This was a weapon that Thoor and the others had made for me.

So of course, it was sharp and—more importantly—easy to throw.

“Got it! Three down!”

“That spear really does have insane penetration… Kitayama-san, your throwing spear. I don’t think I could ever replicate that.”

“Master, get back! I’m going to use the crossbow again!”

Minami shot another volley of arrows with great force.

It looked like two more ostriches fell.

“Too close, we need to retreat!”

“Yes!”

The two of us did a back step.

And then Azuma stepped forward to take over.

“I’ll shift left! Nishida, Airi, take care of the cleanup!”

Azuma positioned both shields in front of him and, as he clashed with the front of the herd, angled his shields to the side.

A loud thud sounded, and then the whole herd began running at an angle, scraping against Azuma’s shields as they passed by.

“Take this!”

Shouting that, Azuma slammed the tip of his large shield into the last ostrich trying to escape.

A perfect counterattack, and without a doubt, it was an instant kill.

“Ha! Seven left!”

“Hah! Now seven! Won’t let them get away!”

The herd of ostriches, which had initially run through, was now being guided back by Nishida and Airi from the sides.

Thanks to them, the group formed a large circle and headed back toward us.

Impressive, honestly.

They’re literally chasing after ostriches.

“Alright! Let’s go again! Minami, the spear!”

“Yes!”

After handing me the spear from the magic bag, Minami readied the crossbow once more.

“Are we good on arrows?”

“I just restocked behind Azuma-sama. No problem.”

By the way, this crossbow is a magazine-type.

As long as the magazine is prepared in advance, reloading is incredibly fast.

“Fire!”

“I’ll release it!”

With a zuggagaga sound, the trigger-happy Minami fired again.

Another ostrich fell to the arrows.

Remaining: 6.

It’s almost time.

“Last one! Leave the rest alive! Nishida, Airi! I’m counting on you for the pursuit!”

After shouting, I threw the spear again.

It struck two more, leaving four.

I quickly swapped positions with Azuma and had them divert the remaining ostriches again.

“Alright! I’m off now!”

With the ostriches running ahead, the two quick-footed people chased after them.

It seemed like there was some distance between them, but that was intentional, so it wasn’t a problem.

“Phew… I hope they can make their way back to the ‘nest’ safely.”

Azuma removed the large shield, and Minami retrieved it with the magic bag.

“After all the damage, I think it should be fine. Nishida-sama and Airi-sama should be able to tail them without being noticed.”

Honestly, Nishida’s skills are more like that of a ninja now.

And I can no longer think of Airi as just a receptionist.

“Alright, then. Let’s collect the ostriches and our equipment.”

“It’s getting dark, so it’s probably best to give up on getting more arrows. I’ll go retrieve the spear first.”

“Then we’ll gather the ostriches in one place.”

“Yeah.”

And so, the harvest was 16 ostriches.

The arrows used were about two full magazines from Minami’s crossbow.

If I remember correctly, each magazine holds 30 arrows.

Luckily, the shortest arrows sold in the market were being used, so the cost wasn’t a big issue.

While thinking about that, Minami quickly returned.

Had she finished retrieving the spear?

“Excuse me, Master… The spear is lodged too deeply… I can’t pull it out.”

“Oh, sorry about that.”

It wasn’t just that the spear pierced the ostrich, it also got stuck in a tree.

Just how sharp is that spear?

After everything was done, we started preparing a light meal.

Rice balls, lots and lots of rice balls.

And we busily filled a thermos with miso soup.

The rice balls ended up with a distinct size depending on who made them, but since they weren’t for sale, it didn’t matter.

Azuma, myself, and Nishida made them in large, medium, and small sizes, respectively.

However, the fillings were random, so there was an element of surprise.

Okaka (bonito flakes), kombu (seaweed), grilled meat, not tuna but grilled fish with mayo, and sometimes salted rice balls, etc.

By the way, the giant tuna hasn’t been cut up yet.

It’s way too big, and there’s the concern of parasites, so I figured it’d be safer to consult someone who knows more or freeze it first.

“Everyone~ wait a bit!”

As she called out, Airi emerged from the darkness of the forest.

“Good work, how’s it going?”

“All done! I had to run around quite a bit, but I found the nest. Should we head there now?”

It seems the operation was a success.

Now it’s time to feed everyone well.

“Yeah, let’s go right away. After we meet up with Nishida, we’ll eat, then move on to the next task.”

“Aye aye, I’ll guide you.”

With the large rice balls packed into the magic bag, we all stood up immediately.

With that, the mission was practically complete.

Thinking this, I grinned wickedly as we continued walking through the night forest.