The three idiots who couldn't become heroes are preparing a man's meal today as well. - Chapter 37

Episode 37: Newcomer Training and Tekka-don

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A few days had passed since then.

We were all pumped up, shouting, “Let’s go survival mode out there!” ready to set off on our journey—but in the end, the chief branch stopped us, and we ended up leaving two days later.

And so, a few more days had passed since we entered the forest.

It was the same vast forest we’d gotten so familiar with—the very one that had been our home turf since the beginning.

Also known as the jungle.

“Woooo! This is nothing compared to running from the client’s office to HQ back in the day!!”

“Haha! Naka-san, you’re killing it! Even though your level’s still low, you’re faster than Kou-chan and the others!”

Who would’ve thought?

Back then, Seiya Nakajima was the picture-perfect office worker—wrinkled suit, short-cropped hair, and a face that looked perpetually drained. That was the only image I had of him.

But now, here he was, sprinting across the land alongside Nishida, gripping short swords in both hands.

He was older than us, but apparently, he’d been in the track and field club back in the day and kept up with sports even after that.

Add in the nutrient-packed meals and a few successful monster hunts to level up, and bam—he was speeding through the forest with Nishida.

By the way, the two rookies were wearing leather armor.

They were told full metal armor was out of the question due to their slim builds, and honestly, it turned out to be the right call.

Man, they were fast.

Though, they still couldn’t quite keep up with Nishida.

“Got it.”

“As expected, the longbow has great accuracy. And your skill is impressive, Shiraishi-sama.”

“Shiro.”

“Uh, Shiro-sama?”

“No need for the -sama.”

“Sh-Shiro-san.”

“Mm.”

Shiro, who had just shot down a bird from quite a distance, continued her usual calm conversation with Minami.

Apparently, she was a quarter Russian.

But born and raised in Japan.

You could say she was an example of atavism—those foreign genes seemed to have come through strong in her. Her hair was more silver than blonde, and her face was stunning—so much so that she would’ve definitely stood out if she were over there.

Because of her looks, she’d often been treated harshly by peers and even her parents.

It was during a time when she was starting to consider ending it all that she got summoned here.

In a way, you could say this world saved her.

Even now, though she kept a blank expression, she seemed much more alive.

And honestly, she and Minami made quite the picture when they stood together.

Their height and build were similar, and both were undeniably beautiful.

They still gave off that “young girl” vibe, but with a cute white-haired and black-haired pair side by side, anyone would feel a bit of peace.

“I sense malice from the north (Kita – north).”

“Shiro-san! Please don’t point your bow at Master!”

Guess I’ve been found out.

Her weapon of choice was the bow.

She’d practiced kyudo back in school, and her skills were top-notch.

Of course, there weren’t any traditional Japanese bows here, but she made do with a massive Western-style one.

“Man, it’s great having more reliable members,” Azuma mused, completely in chill mode.

He sat leisurely by the riverside, fishing line in the water, without a care in the world.

Though, of course, the fish he caught were the usual man-eating ones.

“Yeah, both of them have their specialties. If they can just get used to dismantling, we’re golden.”

“Yeah, that part’s all about practice. We were puking at first too, remember?”

Their weak point.

Well, maybe calling it a weak point is harsh—but yeah, they still sucked at dismantling.

Nakajima tried hard, muttering to himself, “Think of it like visiting the meatpacking plant for business… It’s fine, it’s fine…” but still ended up throwing up.

As for Shiro, the moment the guts spilled out, she quietly whispered, “I… I can’t handle gore…” and immediately fainted.

Between the two, Nakajima probably had more potential for it.

Still, both of them were gonna have to learn.

“Let’s just take it slow, Kita-kun. Start small—like with fish or something. Oh, got another one! And it’s secured!”

Yeah, that might actually work.

Fish were common enough over there, too.

Also, Azuma—how the hell are you catching so many while chilling like that?

“Guess whatever happens, happens.”

“Exactly. Same as us.”

“Yup.”

And so, with the two rookies onboard, our survival mission was going surprisingly smoothly.

“Ahh… I can’t believe I’m eating tekka-don even in another world… It’s so good.” (sashimi over rice, like katsudon but raw fish)

“This is… happiness…”

The two rookies were happily scarfing down their rice bowls, pure joy on their faces.

Today’s menu was tekka-don made from that very same tuna that had once tried to snack on Rent-kun.

We had the guild handle the dismantling and freezing for us.

Apparently, eating it raw was a risk due to parasites, so they made sure to freeze it solid first.

If you do that, cutting and thawing it again would be a real hassle.

Even so, the taste of the tuna makes all that trouble worth it.

The rich flavor soaks up the soy sauce beautifully.

When it comes to the meat of magical beasts, it tends to have a deep, concentrated umami. But for fish, which also fall under the magical beast category, they seem to pair exceptionally well with seasonings.

White-fleshed fish, when simply grilled with salt, have that fluffy, juicy flavor that spreads with every bite—giving an impression closer to meat.

But red-fleshed fish? That’s a whole other story.

Even though it’s the same soy sauce I always use, the flavor hits way harder.

It’s like, Ah, so this is what soy sauce is really supposed to taste like…—the kind of thought that pops into your head without even meaning to.

And this time, we added a new seasoning into the mix—

“Fughh!?”

“You okay, Minami? Was it too much? Don’t force yourself.”

“I-I’m fine. It just looked so strange, so I ate too much at once…”

“Ah, yeah, that’ll do it.”

WASABI.

The shop where we usually get our rice had said, ‘Heh heh, Kitayama-san, got something special for you today!’—and that’s how we ended up with this beauty.

That sharp sting that shoots up your nose.

And that aroma—irresistible.

Man, I wish Daikonmaru would grow wasabi for us too.

If I find some next time, maybe I’ll give it to him before he scurries off.

“So we’ve got wasabi now, huh… This is amazing. Now I’m wondering, what haven’t we eaten yet? Or rather, what else do we want?”

“Oh! Totally forgot—but what about ground meat? We asked Tarl-san, the kitchenware guy, to make a mincer, right?”

“Yeah, he said he’d make a big one. Still needs a bit more time though—I had him finish up some knives first.”

Once we can use ground meat, the recipe options will explode.

Soboro, hamburg steak, menchi-katsu…

I even asked for an attachment so we can make sausages. He’ll definitely pull it off.

I can’t wait.

“By the way, is there anything you guys wanna eat? Just throw it out there. Can’t promise anything fancy—it’s all simple man food—but still.”

When I asked Minami, Shiro, and Nakajima—

“I’m happy with anything Master makes… but if I had to pick, I guess karaage?”

“You really like that, huh?”

Incidentally, last night’s dinner was ostrich karaage.

She scarfed it down like it was the best thing ever, but it seems she still prefers classic chicken.

Though, in this world, the chicken’s a blue-feathered magical beast.

“Ahhh, speaking of karaage, I love fried chicken cartilage. And if I’m being greedy, I’d really like fried squid or octopus again too.”

“Cartilage, huh… Was that in the chest area? Damn, I totally forgot about that… what a waste.”

“Yup, that’s called wishbone cartilage. There’s also knee cartilage. I know where to cut it from, but… the dismantling part’s…”

“I’ll handle that. What’s wishbone cartilage? Is it good? Tell me where it is later.”

Minami latched onto that idea hard.

Looks like we’ll be hunting more birds for a while.

“Speaking of octopus and squid, that sounds awesome too. Think there’s a sea nearby? Might be a pain to hunt, though.”

“Let’s ask Airi-san later. But yeah, if they’re sea magical beasts, how are we even supposed to go after them?”

The two seemed pretty into it. If there’s a sea nearby, maybe we should head there next.

Then again, if a freakin’ tuna could leap out of a spring, maybe we can hunt them somewhere inland too.

“What about you, Shiro? Anything you want?”

“…Omelette rice.”

Huh, that’s something I could whip up right away.

Kinda unexpected though. Figured a younger girl would want something trendier.

Oh, wait. She’s probably thinking of that kind.

You know, the fluffy, runny omelette that spreads when you cut into it with a knife—that one.

Never made it before… Do I need heavy cream or something?

“I could make a simple one with a firm omelette right now. But if you’re imagining the fancy kind—”

“Normal is fine. I just want to see it made right in front of me.”

“…Huh? That’s kind of a weird way to put it.”

“…I’ve only ever had the family restaurant kind. Never had someone actually cook for me.”

Dang.

I figured she’d had a rough life from what she’d said before, but… so she’s been living off takeout this whole time?

Never had someone cook for her—yeah, that’s exactly what she means, isn’t it?

No wonder her expression always changes during meals.

Yeah… she definitely ended up in the right place, coming to this world.

And I’m really glad I was the one who found her.

“Is that a no?”

“Nah, I’ll make it for you tonight. I’ve been wanting to try out that ostrich egg anyway.”

“Thanks, Kita. I’m looking forward to it.”

I gave her a firm nod, thinking, It’s no big deal.

The other guys, though, all averted their gazes with a quiet “Tch!”

I don’t know the full story, but yeah… it’s hard not to feel for her.

“Shiro-san, what’s omelet rice?”

“It’s yellow, long, and round.”

“…That sounds like such a strange food.”

Minami and Shiro exchanged this oddly laid-back conversation.

The two got along fast, and maybe it’s not just because they’re close in age—maybe it’s because of their similar pasts.

Minami was abandoned by her parents. Shiro, on the other hand, had parents but was treated like she didn’t exist.

It’s not about who had it worse or who had it easier.

Both of them must’ve had it rough.

So, seeing them smile and chat like this… honestly, that alone feels like a win.

“I know it’s selfish, but I can’t help but hope girls like them end up happy,” Nakajima said, scratching his head with an awkward laugh. “Even if I’m probably the weakest one here.”

It hadn’t been more than a few days since we met, but I could already tell—Nakajima wasn’t a bad guy.

Maybe back over there, people would’ve laughed at a line like that.

But here, I doubt anyone would.

Not when we all live with death breathing down our necks.

In this world, if you actually follow through on those so-called pretty words, no one’s gonna laugh.

“Then just get stronger and help ‘em out. We’re free now, living here. Even if it’s all idealistic crap, if you actually pull it off, no one’ll mock you for it.”

I realized I’d just dropped a cringe-worthy line myself and quickly shoved a mouthful of tekkadon into my mouth.

Talking is easy.

But doing something about it? That’s where responsibility kicks in.

That’s true whether you’re over there or over here.

The difference is, here… it feels like the rules are a lot looser.

I’m sure there’s a mountain of stuff I still don’t know—laws, customs, all that—but at least in this world, no one’s gonna get on my case for saving some random girl.

And honestly? I kinda like that.

“Freedom… yeah, I guess you’re right,” Nakajima replied. “I’ll give it some thought.”

“Yeah. No pressure, though. Take it easy.”

“Will do.”

Seems like I’ll get along just fine with my new old-man buddy.

That’s when a familiar bird swooped down toward us.

A Dearbird.

If it was just another round of Airi’s usual complaints, that’d be fine.

But for some reason, I had a bad feeling about this one.

And I really hoped it was just my imagination.