The three idiots who couldn't become heroes are preparing a man's meal today as well. - Chapter 42

Episode 42: The Beacon of War

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“They’re here… Prepare for battle!”

As I shouted, roars erupted in response from all around.

It wasn’t just Wind of War and War Princess.

Of course, it wasn’t only the Ayram couple either.

It felt like nearly all the Walkers gathered here were letting out a ground-shaking war cry.

Seriously? The meal effect is insane.

When they first arrived, everyone had grim, somber expressions.

And now, the moment they filled their stomachs, this is what I get.

I’ll have to get the Branch Chief to compensate me for the ingredients and labor later.

Thinking about that, I narrowed my eyes at the approaching dust cloud.

“Archers, mages, prepare for attack! Scouts and those with speed, hide in the surroundings!”

With that command, the archers lined up in a row.

Behind them, a group of mages stood at the ready.

Party formations were all over the place.

Only those necessary for the battle had gathered, standing side by side.

Meanwhile, multiple figures concealed themselves behind the trees lining the road.

Among the archers were Minami and Shiro.

In the ambush group, we had Nishida, Nakajima, and even Airi.

Hah, this is crazy.

At first, I planned to move with just Wind of War, War Princess, the Ayram couple, and us.

That was supposed to be the scale of it… but after sharing a meal, we all got along too well.

Since we were all of similar rank, no one objected to my orders.

“Boss, give us the next command.”

“You sure about this? I’m a lower-ranked Walker than you.”

“Everyone knows about Hearty Eater.’ Anyone who’d complain wouldn’t follow you in the first place, so don’t worry about it.”

At the center, it was me, Kyle, and Gil.

Seriously? Looks like I’ve ended up commanding a full-fledged army.

“Ah, screw it! Let’s do this! Archers and mages! Leave gaps for the shields to pass through! After the opening attack, let them through! Shield squad, form up!”

And just like that, the defense unit lined up neatly.

Azuma was among them.

His presence felt even more overwhelming than anyone else’s.

Everyone had decent equipment, but none could compare to our Demon King gear.

Azuma is just… Azuma.

“Kitayama-sama, how should we position the support group?”

The young lady called out to me.

I wanted to say, “How the hell should I know?!” but unfortunately, that wasn’t an option.

“Consider those in hiding as well and place them according to their strengths. Those skilled in defense buffs and magic buffs should be in the center. The others with offensive support skills should be spread out around the perimeter. If they’re too concentrated, we’ll create weak points. Try to keep the formation balanced—I’ll leave it to you. Can you handle it?”

“Understood!”

“Kitayama-san, I’ll join that group as well.”

“Annabelle, I’m counting on you.”

“Leave it to me!”

With that, Annabelle ran off to join the others.

And then I realized something…

I was alone.

Right in the middle of the main force.

Having no party members nearby was unsettling, but I couldn’t let it show.

Well, with so many people here, it should be fine… probably.

“Alright! Close-combat squad! Draw your weapons—but hold your ground! Your turn comes later! Don’t rush out ahead!”

““Ooooooh!””

At this point, there was no turning back.

Damn… In Hearty Eater, I’m the only pure damage dealer.

Everyone else had unique roles, so they got assigned elsewhere.

Which left me standing alone in the center.

For real? The downside of having no distinct specialty strikes again.

“Enemy contact in one minute!”

Someone from an unknown party shouted.

Ah, screw it.

Let’s do this!

“Don’t panic! In thirty seconds, ‘Archers’ and ‘Mages’ will launch a full assault! Then, the ‘Shields’ will hold back whoever charges in! On my command, ‘Melee’ will strike! We’ll keep repeating this pattern!”

Alright, let’s begin.

The war between Walkers and magic beasts.

Or so I thought—until it happened.

“‘Light Sword’!”

A voice rang out, strangely clear in my ears.

And then, from atop the gate, a beam of light shot forward.

I could only describe it as a laser. It obliterated the magic beasts ahead without a trace.

Wolves, boars… all of them.

Not even ash remained.

“Who the hell just fired a charged particle cannon…?”

“A charged what? That was probably the ‘Hero-sama’s’ attack. Hah, if we’ve got someone like that, we’re basically useless.”

Clicking his tongue, Kyle turned and glared up at the gate.

That was the power of the ‘Hero’?

No way… That’s a total cheat ability.

No wonder the king was so desperate to summon a ‘Hero.’

Well, this certainly makes things easier.

Hero-sama, I guess we owe you one. Or so I thought…

“Listen up, everyone! As long as I’m here, defeat is not an option! Do not fear! We will protect this city!”

“OOOHHH!”

Behind me, Hero-sama was passionately rallying the troops.

The only ones responding were the soldiers—every Walker was looking on with exasperated expressions.

“Huh? Aren’t the soldiers… glowing?”

“That’s support magic… Damn, a ‘Hero’ can even do that?”

Gil answered, but—does receiving a buff really make you look like that?

No way, they’re glowing like crazy.

So lame! You guys look like walking fluorescent lights!

“That being said, he doesn’t seem inclined to help us. His magic isn’t reaching this way. And even though they’ve been powered up, the soldiers aren’t budging from the gate. Guess us Walkers are being underestimated.”

As always, Kyle was throwing out bitter remarks, but it seemed everyone around felt the same.

I could hear sighs, clicks of tongues, and resentful murmurs from different directions.

Sure, making things easier for us is fine, but what’s the point if you’re crushing morale, Hero-sama?

Give me a break.

“Hey, you lot! How long are you gonna keep looking behind you!? Our prey is coming from the front! And think about it—do you really wanna be glowing like that!? No way in hell I do! If anyone here wants to become a walking target in the dark, go beg the Hero! ‘Please, make me shine too!’ But don’t step forward, alright? You’ll blind us all!”

At those words, the tension vanished.

Instead, laughter broke out.

From behind us, however, the soldiers were now glaring daggers at me.

Well, can you blame me?

The area in front of the gate looks like a damn Christmas light display.

“Haha! You’re not wrong! Second wave incoming!”

At Kyle’s call, everyone focused on the front.

Now then, what’s coming this time? A charged particle cannon, maybe?

If so, I’d rather not get too close…

“Hm?”

Among the horde of magic beasts, there was something unfamiliar.

What the hell is that? A bipedal turtle?

A black body sprouting from a gray shell.

Glowing red eyes gleaming ominously.

I’ve got a really bad feeling about this.

“Kyle, Gil. That turtle—do you know what kind of magic beast that is?”

It’s still far away, so pointing at it might not help much, but…

“Uh… What the hell is that? It kinda looks like a Magic Turtle… maybe a higher-tier version?”

“But it’s walking on two legs. Is it even a beast?”

Looks like neither of them knows.

It’s leading the charge, almost as if commanding the other magic beasts.

“‘Light Blade’!”

Once again, Hero-sama unleashed his beam attack.

I thought that would be the end of it—

But the next moment—

“You’ve gotta be kidding me…”

The turtle suddenly turned its back, using its shell to absorb the Hero’s attack.

Despite how powerful that strike was, it didn’t even flinch, let alone step back.

And on top of that, its shell was changing color.

Is it just me, or is it kinda rainbow-colored now?

And—yeah, it’s definitely glowing.

“Kyle, that Magic Turtle you mentioned—what exactly is it? Give me a quick rundown, fast.”

“Huh? Oh, right. Those things are basically immune to magic. Their shells don’t just block spells—it’s like the magic gets dismantled before it even touches them. That’s why they’re called Magic Turtles. But if you use a sword, you can take them down pretty easily.”

Ah, this is bad.

That turtle neutralizes magic to defend itself.

And since the one in front of us is completely unfazed, it’s safe to assume it has the same trait.

So, the theory that it’s an advanced version of the Magic Turtle is probably spot on.

But more importantly—

Did it really just ‘neutralize’ that magic?

“I’ve got a bad feeling about this. Mage unit, hold your fire! Use arrows to test it out first, then—”

“‘Light Blade’!”

“What—!? You absolute idiot!”

The third beam of the day.

Once again, it struck the turtle’s back.

And this time, its shell glowed even brighter, radiating in full rainbow colors.

This is really bad. It’s definitely absorbing the attacks.

“Scouts, fall back! Get some distance, now! Archers, loose your arrows—”

“‘Light Blade’!”

“You goddamn moron! Everyone, retreat!!”

The fourth beam.

It was the third strike against the turtle.

And it seemed that its “preparations” were now complete.

The turtle crouched down on the spot, retreating into its shell—now shimmering in a rainbow hue that could almost be called beautiful.

And then—

“W-What the hell is that!?”

A voice rose from somewhere.

The advance of the magic beasts came to a halt.

A single beam of light shot upward from the turtle’s shell, extending high into the sky.

The light climbed to a great height before branching out into multiple streaks, and then—

“Dodge!!!”

By the time I shouted, the rain of light had already begun to fall.

A deafening barrage of ZUGAGAGAGAGAG! explosions rang in our ears as the light came crashing down on us.

It was undoubtedly a counterattack, storing up the Hero’s Light Blade and firing it back.

I don’t even want to imagine what happens if you get hit by that!

“Dodge! Dodge! DODGE! If that hits you, you’re dead for sure!”

Even as I shouted, screams erupted all around.

Some lost arms, others had their legs pierced through.

There were probably even those who lost their lives.

No—there was no doubt about it.

By the time the downpour ended, several Walkers lay sprawled lifeless on the ground.

“…Damn it all!”

“Light Blade!”

Another beam shot out from the Hero.

Of course, the turtle’s shell absorbed it again.

Its now gray shell regained its vibrant colors.

“I said cut it the hell out, dumbass!!!”

Without thinking, I hurled my spear.

It stabbed into the wall at the Hero’s feet.

Startled, the Hero stumbled, looking like he was about to fall over—but I couldn’t care less.

“Support unit! Get the injured to the rear! Buffs can wait! Anyone still standing, listen up!!”

I turned back to the front, raising my voice louder than I had all day.

“Mages, hold your fire and wait for orders! Archers, ready your bows! Fire on my signal! Scouts, clear the stragglers afterward! Keep hiding for now! Shields, step forward as soon as the archers are done! Melee fighters, hold position! Once the big guy is down, we charge in all at once!”

“Boss! Who’s dealing with the turtle!?”

“…Who the hell do you think!? It’s us! Kyle, Gil, you’re with me! Azumaaa! Get the catapult ready, we’re jumping over! Minamiii! Have two spears prepared and waiting!!”

I screamed orders at the top of my lungs.

I didn’t have time to think.

I just knew we had to turn this situation around.

That desperate thought drove me forward.

“Archers, fire!!! Let’s light up the sky and give ‘em one hell of a signal!!!”

With that command, the archers standing in front of us loosed their arrows all at once.