The three idiots who couldn't become heroes are preparing a man's meal today as well. - Chapter 43

Episode 43: Counter Turtle

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Don’t mess with me.

That was the first thought that crossed my mind.

“Shibata, stop! Your attacks won’t take that thing down!”

“Yuu-kun, calm down!”

Shut up, shut up!

I’m a Hero—there’s no way there’s an enemy I can’t defeat.

I have to be able to beat it. I mean, I’m the protagonist, after all.

“Light Blade!”

The only magic I can use at the moment.

A spell that unleashes light from my sword to wipe out my foes.

Or at least, it was supposed to.

“Why!? Why won’t it die!?”

“It’s obviously a bad match-up! Stop getting our allies killed!”

“Shut up, you useless woman!”

Just as we were arguing—

“Cut it the hell out, dumbass!!!”

The moment I heard that voice, the ground beneath me exploded.

I was standing atop the gate meant to protect the city.

It was supposed to be sturdy.

Yet, the instant something struck it, it crumbled with a loud crash.

I fell flat on my ass.

And right between my legs—

A pitch-black spear was lodged into the ground.

“Huh? W-Wait… Did a spear just take down the gate?”

Hatsumi let out a stunned voice as she stared at the spear embedded in the ruins.

What the hell is this?

Who the hell threw a spear at me!?

If it had been just a little off, it could’ve hit me—I could’ve died!

As I was about to scream in rage—

“Move. You’re in the way.”

Hatsumi shoved me aside.

“Gh…! How much force do you need to throw it this deep…? I can’t… pull it out… Ghh…!”

For some reason, she was struggling to pull the black spear free.

What the hell is she doing?

Shouldn’t she be looking for the traitor who dared to attack the Hero first?

“What the hell are you doing!? Shouldn’t we be hunting down the idiot who attacked his own allies first!?”

“Hah! Got it out! …You know, Yuu, you should try yelling that line at a mirror.”

Saying that, Hatsumi hoisted the spear onto her shoulder and stepped onto the edge of the wall.

“Hatsumi… Are you planning to go out there? It’s dangerous! Stay here with us…!”

At Nozomi’s worried voice, Hatsumi glanced back just once—then smiled gently.

“I’m just going to confirm something. The real deal.”

With that, she leaped down from the gate.

Thanks to the Hero’s buffs, we had all leveled up quite a bit.

So jumping from this height wasn’t even enough to scratch us.

“Hatsumi! Where do you think you’re going!?”

“Just returning the spear to its owner. You stay out of this.”

“You’ve gotta be kidding me!”

She declared that mid-air before disappearing into the soldiers below.

Dressed in black, she blended perfectly into the night, and in an instant, she was gone from my sight.

“Damn it, damn it all!”

“Yuu-kun… Please, calm down, okay?”

My childhood friend tried to soothe me in her gentle voice.

Clenching my teeth, I glared at the frontlines.

……..

……..

After the rain of arrows ceased, we rushed toward the center of the shield formation ahead.

Everyone was watching, waiting for the right moment to advance.

But there was one figure among them who turned back to face us.

A man clad in pitch-black armor—looking like a demon king—stood waiting with his shield raised.

“Azuma! Three of us—send us flying!”

“Bon voyageee!”

The moment Kyle, Gil, and I stepped onto Azuma’s great shield—

He swung it with all his might.

Damn, leveling up is insane.

He just casually tossed three full-grown men into the air.

We soared over the shield and mage units—closing in on the front-row archers.

“Shields, advance! Archers, fall back! Minami, toss me a spear!”

“Master! Here you go!”

“Kita, fight on!”

Minami and Shiro had both made it through safely.

As they called out, they each threw me a spear.

Perfect. Time to clean this up.

Holding a spear in each hand, we charged forward.

Our target—the massive turtle.

Magic was useless against it.

We’d have to crush it with brute force.

Of course, they weren’t just going to let us close in.

Wolves, deer, goblins, and all sorts of other creatures surged toward us.

“Scout unit, your turn! Clean up the small fry!”

“Got it, Kou-chan! Leave it to us!”

“Go ahead, Kitayama-san!”

“Kitayama-san, may fortune favor you!”

The remaining members of Hearty Eater dashed out from the forest, signaling their survival.

Now, the only one left to confirm was Annabelle…

But since the support unit was busy evacuating the wounded, checking on her would have to wait.

I prayed for her safety.

But for now, the battle in front of me took priority.

“Kyle, Gil! Leave the small fries to the others and focus on taking down the turtle! Gil, draw its attention! Kyle, go for its legs while it’s distracted! Make it remember what it was like to walk on all fours!”

“Tch, giving out some crazy orders again… Oi, you damn turtle! Over here!”

“Haha! Against an opponent several times our size, this is all the strategy we get?”

Muttering that, Gil flickered flames around and lightly slashed at its legs with his scimitar.

When the turtle turned its gaze toward Gil, Kyle’s greatsword came crashing down from the opposite side.

And as for me…

“Here we go!”

I decided to chuck my spear straight at its neck.

Against a monster this huge, there was no way I’d miss.

And since the spear was crafted by Thor and the others, I hadn’t even considered the possibility of it not piercing through.

As expected, the black spear embedded itself deep into the turtle’s neck.

“Oi, Kitayama! What the hell are you doing drawing its attention to yourself?!”

“It was just one shot! I don’t have a spare anyway! Now run, run!”

“Goddammit! You seriously make no sense!”

“Then I guess I should make myself stand out too! Hyaaah!”

While Gil and I were yelling at each other, Kyle had moved to the turtle’s rear and swung his massive greatsword with full force.

He couldn’t sever it completely, but he managed to cut through about half of its leg, successfully forcing the turtle back onto all fours.

The turtle let out an ear-piercing scream that could have ruptured eardrums, but—

“The shell’s the only part that absorbs magic, right? Shut the hell up, dumbass!”

With its head now lowered, Gil shoved his prosthetic hand into the turtle’s mouth and unleashed a spell.

His magic attribute was “fire.”

Proving that fact, flames leaked from the turtle’s mouth, cutting off its agonized cries.

Did he… just burn its throat and insides?

Damn, that’s brutal…

“I’m taking the other back leg!”

“I’m turning this thing into roast turtle meat!”

As they yelled, their attacks continued.

The back leg was shredded by Kyle’s greatsword, while Gil’s flames seared the turtle’s mouth and eyeballs.

At that point, it was only natural for the turtle to try to protect itself.

It started retracting its limbs.

“Dammit! Now we really can’t do anything… Wait, what the hell is that?”

Yeah, its limbs retracted properly.

But its neck was still half-exposed, writhing about.

“Ah, I see… So this is what the boss was aiming for.”

“Y-yeah! Exactly!”

I blurted that out, but honestly, it was just a coincidence.

The spear I threw at the beginning was preventing the turtle from fully retracting its head into its shell.

If it forced its way in, the spear might get dislodged, or it might still be able to hide, but…

Judging by how deep the spear had sunk in, it might’ve even reached the bone.

Just touching it would send waves of pain through the creature—no wonder it couldn’t pull its head in.

“Alright, let’s finish this up quick.”

“Got it, Boss.”

“Seriously, you make no damn sense.”

Exchanging those words, we each drove our weapons into the turtle’s skull.

Spear, greatsword, and prosthetic hand.

The moment all three pierced what was likely its brain—

The turtle convulsed violently, then quietly lowered its head.

The battle was won.

“Alright. Let’s fall back for now. We’ll just get in the way if we stick around.”

“Roger that.”

“Yeah, yeah, following orders.”

And so, the fearsome turtle was taken down surprisingly smoothly.

I just hope there weren’t any casualties…

We wouldn’t know until things settled down.

Ideally, we’d want to retrieve the turtle’s corpse, but unfortunately, none of us had a magic bag.

Man… now I really want some softshell turtle hot pot…

……..

…….

Shibata’s “Light Blade” didn’t work against the monster—it was probably just a bad matchup.

Yet, they managed to take it down so effortlessly.

Amazing. There was no other word for it.

The man in black armor—his first spear throw had set up the finishing blow.

And the coordination between him and his team was flawless.

This was “Hearty Eater.”

Just like us, they were “Otherworlders” who had been deemed failures.

 

“Amazing…! So strong, so incredibly strong!”

Clutching the spear that had flown to Shibata earlier, I found myself jumping in excitement.

The spear he had thrown just moments ago—this one in my hands was identical in shape.

There was no doubt that it belonged to him.

I had come here to return it to him and to see them for myself.

And yet, after witnessing their battle, I couldn’t help but get excited.

Kagemori Hatsumi, 18 years old.

Born into a family of martial artists, trained relentlessly throughout my life.

That’s why I despised men who put on a tough act despite being weak, and I hated those who accepted their weakness without even trying to grow stronger.

Because of that, people gave me the nickname “Man-Hater.”

It’s not like I reject all men—I just hate the weak ones who still have the audacity to come on to me.

Not that I’ve ever told anyone that.

“A-Um—”

I mustered up my courage and tried to call out to him.

This was my first.

I had never been this nervous about speaking to a man before.

But I couldn’t let this opportunity slip away.

That’s what I thought—

But then—

“Fall back! Scouts, retreat! Mage squad, to the front! Blow them away in one go! Oi, you there! What are you doing?! Get back now!”

“Y-Yes, sir!”

A sudden voice snapped me back to reality.

I should have noticed it then—this strange sensation.

My title was Shadow.

A title specialized in hiding and striking from the dark.

And yet, he had spotted me so easily and called out without hesitation.

“Damn it! What the hell are you doing?! Fall back, you’re in the way!”

“Y-Yes…!”

Still clutching the spear tightly to my chest, I found myself suddenly scooped up in his arms as he took off running.

“A-Ah! I—I’m…!”

“Quiet! We’re retreating right now!”

It was a first for me.

Being held in a man’s arms, being pulled along with such raw strength.

That jet-black armor, that intense, battle-hardened presence.

And yet, for some reason, the words Her Highness once spoke—”a prince on a white horse”—flashed through my mind.