The three idiots who couldn't become heroes are preparing a man's meal today as well. - Chapter 56

Episode 56: A Feast of Bamboo Shoots and Hunting Instincts

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“No time to rest! You see them coming from the right!? Always stay alert! In the forest, everything is your enemy! Remember that!”

“Y-Yes, sir!”

“W-Wait, hold on a sec—!”

“Th-This is too much… I can’t keep up…!”

“Aim for the vitals, just strike sharp and clean…!”

The next day, the girls’ boot camp continued as usual.

Except today, it was about 30% tougher.

They were up against multiple magic beasts at once.

We wouldn’t lend a hand unless they were on the absolute brink.

After spending the entire morning in such a grueling state, the ladies seemed to have gotten somewhat used to it.

Their movements were much better than yesterday.

So, seeing that, I figured I’d join the fight a little and give them some combat pointers.

“There you go! Watch out—monsters might jump out from behind the trees too!”

“Nishida-sama!? Thank you so much!”

Nishida dropped down and took out a weasel-like magic beast that had been creeping up behind Tia.

Damn, that was a pretty cool way to save someone.

_”Alright, don’t overdo it. Everyone has their role—forcing things won’t end well for you.” _

“A-Amazing…”

Azuma stood in front of Fi, who was about to be overwhelmed by two wolves, and swatted both of them away with his massive shield.

At this point, I had to wonder—just how many horsepower did Azuma’s arm strength even have?

Fi had been struggling against those wolves just moments ago, so watching Azuma casually take them down must’ve looked pretty damn cool to her.

Damn, I’m jealous.

I wanna fight like that too.

“For opponents too fast for magic, you should rely on your teammates. That’s what comrades and trust are for. And that large one in the center—I’m leaving it to you because I trust you can handle it. So focus, and take it down cleanly.”

“Understood! Leave it to me!”

Minami fired her crossbow in rapid succession at the smaller magic beasts, like rabbits and squirrels, while Al launched her magic at the large deer in the center.

Yeah, things were going well here too.

Actually, this was the most balanced group.

Everything was falling into place neatly.

Man, everyone’s really giving it their all.

“Kitayama-sama! It’s coming! A King Boar!”

_”Oh? Then, like yesterday, try setting some traps.” _

“Which one should I use!?”

“As many as possible.”

So, that left me and Iris facing off against three boars.

For some reason, the biggest ones always seemed to come our way.

Not that I really minded.

“Earth Needle!”

Just like last time, she conjured spikes from the ground—

“Ah!? Kitayama-sama! Kitayama-sama!”

—but maybe she panicked, since she only hit one.

The other two just got lightly grazed before charging straight toward us.

“Calm down. That’s not your only spell, right? You can mess with the ground to make it harder to run on, or put up a wall to block them. Think it through—stay calm.”

“U-Umm, then… a swamp! I’ll make a swamp!”

So, she decided to turn the ground into a swamp-like wetland.

A pretty brutal spell, honestly, though apparently not all that difficult.

The catch was that it normally took a long time to chant.

Iris could pull it off instantly because of her skill.

Man, she really is talented.

“Alright, now what? They’re stuck.”

The King Boars flailed around, struggling in the swamp.

Still, they’d probably get back on land in a few minutes.

“K-Kitayama-sama…”

_”…Alright, fine. You’ve done more than enough.” _

Iris, eyes teary from keeping up her spell, looked at me as if begging for help.

Sighing, I gave in and threw the spears I held in both hands.

“There, it’s over. You did great.”

“Thank you… I’m sorry.”

“No, like I said, you did really well.”

The spears pierced through the boars’ eyes and into their brains, silencing them for good.

As soon as the magic was lifted, the swamp dried up, returning to solid earth.

“At this rate… can we really get stronger…?”

Iris sank to the ground, murmuring with doubt.

Seriously, what is this girl saying?

“On our first day as Walkers, the three of us barely managed to take down one King Boar. And that wasn’t even skill—it was pure luck.”

“…Huh?”

“After that, we fought deer, wolves… we had to go all out, even with three of us against just one.”

“Wait…”

Iris looked at me, confused. I just sighed and patted her head.

“So yeah, the fact that you kids are already taking down this many magic beasts? I’d say that’s pretty damn impressive. I dunno. We struggled way more than you guys, so to me, you all look pretty amazing.”

We had no magic.

No one to teach us.

Even so—

These girls, who were still around high school age, were wielding weapons and fighting magic beasts head-on.

That alone was already incredible.

If I were their age, I probably would’ve pissed myself.

“Why do you… say stuff like that?”

“Hah?”

“N-Nothing!”

Iris, her face oddly red, shot me a glare.

I tried cheering her up since she seemed down, but now she was mad at me instead.

Man, I don’t get young girls at all.

Thus, the second day of hunting proceeded smoothly.

Not being able to use magic beast meat was inconvenient, but this time, we had stocked up on regular meat from the market.

Including today, there were three days left.

Thanks to the obedient girls who had joined us, it looked like we were starting to see a glimmer of hope that we could manage.

…………

“Oh—right, it’s done~.”

At the sound of Kitayama-sama’s voice, all of us who had been on alert quickly returned to their side.

Since yesterday’s dinner, we had been taken care of, and just like what had happened to me before, it seemed my party members had completely fallen under the spell of the food as well.

At the sight of the meal lined up on the sheet, everyone gulped audibly.

“As always… this is amazing. Everything looks delicious.”

“It’s probably nothing special for noble ladies like you. Here, wash your hands first with water and herbs.”

Saying that, he handed us a wooden bucket.

Kitayama-sama had said similar things before, likely holding some kind of biased image about nobles—maybe thinking we always eat extravagant meals or that we can’t handle commoner food.

Well, to be fair, there are nobles like that.

The two who picked a fight with us before the outdoor training session started were prime examples of that.

However, we were different.

My family certainly held a respectable status, and if we wanted extravagant meals, we had chefs at home who could prepare them.

But that didn’t mean we ate like that all the time.

Such luxurious meals were reserved for when we had guests over.

Most of the time, we had simple meals rather than anything overly refined.

My father had always disliked wasteful spending, and recently, my own growing interest in cooking had played a part as well.

“As I always say, you are far too humble. This food is more than delicious enough, and if you were to open a restaurant, I might find myself visiting every single day.”

The rest of the party members nodded vigorously in agreement, but as expected, Kitayama-sama didn’t seem to believe us, giving an exasperated smile instead.

“Well, even if it’s just flattery, I appreciate it. Alright, let’s eat.”

Thus, we all clasped our hands together and recited “Hearty Eater style”’s  pre-meal blessing before beginning our meal.

If I hesitated over what to eat first, everything would be taken before I knew it, so I grabbed anything that looked good as quickly as I could.

Though, to be fair, everything looked good, which made it all the harder to choose.

“I had takikomi gohan for the first time yesterday, and it’s still amazing…” (rice with seasoning)

Al murmured blissfully as she bit into an onigiri.

I understood her completely—it was incredibly delicious.

The “takikomi gohan” I had before was good too, but just adding bamboo shoots made it feel like a whole new dish.

The rice, fully infused with flavor, and the bamboo shoots, soft yet maintaining a satisfying crunch—combined with the sweetness of the vegetables and the umami of the chicken, it was a dish I could eat endlessly without getting tired of it.

It was a bit frustrating that we couldn’t use magic beast meat, but even so, it was more than satisfying.

When would I finally be able to experience the umami of magic beast meat, I wondered?

“This soup… it was called miso soup, right? It’s really comforting… and today, it has potatoes in it. They’re so fluffy and delicious.”

Tia seemed to have taken a liking to the miso soup.

Despite visiting various stores, I had never seen anything quite like this soup before.

There were soups that used miso, but they were either heavy with oil or had an overpowering miso flavor, making them very different.

But the miso soup made by “Hearty Eater” was something else entirely.

It had a delicate flavor that warmed the soul.

I had to ask Nishida-sama later how it was made.

“This… is absolutely dangerous. Once you start eating it, you just want to keep it all to yourself. It makes the rice disappear in an instant, but it’s also so good on its own.”

Fi was eating something called “bamboo shoots and chicken stew.”

Long hours of simmering had made the chicken so tender that it melted in the mouth.

And the bamboo shoots, even softer than the ones in the rice, absorbed the flavors of the other vegetables, soy sauce, mirin, and other seasonings.

Each bite was an exquisite delight.

I was savoring it when the members of “Hearty Eater” commented, “That’s a refined choice,” making me chuckle.

At any rate, we were more than satisfied with their cooking.

To be more specific, apart from me, the other three in my group were nobles, but not particularly wealthy ones.

Compared to commoners, we certainly handled more money, but that didn’t necessarily mean we had high profits.

Some nobles even struggled with debt.

So, it wasn’t surprising that we had completely fallen for “Hearty Eater’s” cooking.

“I wonder what noble cuisine is actually like…”

“There’s the idea that it’s extravagant, but yeah, nothing really comes to mind. It doesn’t seem like something that fills you up much.”

“Maybe roast beef? And for snacks, they definitely have cake and tea.”

“I’ve never actually seen it, so I can’t really say…”

The “Hearty Eater” members muttered among themselves as they continued eating.

Hearing them, we couldn’t help but exchange amused smiles.

In reality, only a small fraction of nobles actually lived like that.

But explaining it with words alone probably wouldn’t convince them.

Maybe I should invite them to stay at my house for a few days.

Ah, but if I did that, Father would surely go all out preparing a feast.

That would only reinforce the misunderstanding even more.

As I pondered such things, I continued my meal.

“Should we try making grilled onigiri with the bamboo shoot rice? Maybe with some miso. Anyone want some?”

At that one remark, every single member present raised their hands.

……………….

Currently, nighttime.

With the tents set up, the women were bathing—or rather, washing themselves.

Because of that, the three of us men were standing guard around the tent.

“Hmmmm.”

“What’s up, Kou-chan?”

Since we were keeping our distance from the tent, we had to raise our voices whenever we talked.

The women bathing inside might overhear us, but it wasn’t really a big deal.

It wasn’t like we were talking about anything inappropriate.

“I dunno, I just feel kind of restless? Like I’m gonna get dull if this keeps up.”

“Ahh, I kind of get that. Then again, it’s probably just because we went up against those high-ranking beasts and that ostrich swarm. If it were our old selves, this would just be business as usual.”

Azuma had a point.

Back then, we only hunted about ten or so magic beasts a day.

So in a way, we had simply gone back to our usual laid-back survival mode.

But considering the crazy number of magic beasts we had been fighting head-on lately…

And that dungeon we cleared afterward was practically easy mode.

Well, except for that gorilla horde—that was more intense than this forest.

“You’ve turned into a full-fledged battle junkie, huh, Kou-chan? I guess I kinda feel the same way, though… maybe after hitting a higher level?”

Ever since we survived that last defense battle, we’d reached level 45.

But from there, we just stopped leveling up.

“I mean, I figured it’d get harder to level up, but still…”

“Wasn’t there some theory that the whole level concept is pretty vague? Like, nobody really knows the best way to level efficiently.”

“But weren’t we told that our leveling speed was already kinda insane? I wonder… maybe it’s because we were hunting and eating everything? In the dungeon, we just kinda grinded through it mechanically, so maybe that’s why we didn’t level up?”

“Who knows? Maybe we just need to take down some big game again.”

Even Airi had taken a long time to raise her level.

Annabelle, on the other hand, had an easier time once her race changed.

Maybe we just had to keep at it, slow and steady?

Not that we were desperate to grind levels or anything.

But when you have a visible number like that, it’s only natural to want to raise it—gamers’ instincts, you know?

And right now, with how absurdly strong our bodies had become, it felt like we were dealing with everything at just a fraction of our full power…

It was frustrating, in a way.

Basically, we just wanted to cut loose.

Really let loose, at full power.

In that sense, diving into the forest with just the three of us had been a blast.

Since we were all at the same level, we didn’t have to hold back for anyone.

We moved freely, and whoever was nearby would adjust accordingly.

We just kept hunting, one after another, repeating the process until we wiped everything out.

Thinking back, we were basically wild animals back then.

With a sigh, I bent my knees—

“Um… if you’d like, we’ll be fine here, so would you like to… let loose a little?”

“…Huh?”

Hearing a voice, I turned to see Iris peeking out of the tent, her hair still damp.

She was keeping her body hidden behind the tent, so… yeah, that was probably the situation.

Please, I beg you, at least put some clothes on before talking to us.

“This area is more or less a midpoint—ordinary students can reach it if they push themselves. In case of an emergency, we can call for help or even run back to camp. If you go a bit further in, I’ve heard that the number of magic beasts increases… Would you like to go cull them?”

It was a solution—a compromise, maybe—that she offered in response to our conversation.

But no, no, no, our job here was to guard them.

If we thought about the worst-case scenario, we couldn’t just leave, not even for a second—

“There are no magic beasts in the vicinity. And besides, at their current level, they should be able to handle a small-scale attack. If you truly need to ‘let off some steam,’ I will stay behind. With the beasts around here, I am more than capable of dealing with them.”

Saying that, Minami also poked her head out, her ears twitching.

She, too, was keeping her body hidden behind the tent.

Again, I beg you—please put some clothes on first.

“No, but seriously, we can’t just ditch our job to go hunting. And also, put some clothes on.”

“Yeah, I mean, ditching work just to satisfy our cravings is a bit much… Also, can you all please put on some clothes before talking to us?”

“It’d be pretty irresponsible, right? Maybe if at least one of us stayed behind, that’d be different… Oh, but, um, it’s not like I don’t trust you, Minami! It’s just, you know, our own principles or whatever… Also, put some clothes on? We are guys, you know?”

After we all said our piece, something clicked.

Azuma’s words made us realize—

“Wait, so… as long as one of us stays behind?”

“Yeah, if at least one of us is here, it’s a whole different level of reassurance.”

“Now that I think about it… that actually makes sense.”

And so, a high-stakes rock-paper-scissors tournament was held.

Because of course it was.