The three idiots who couldn't become heroes are preparing a man's meal today as well. - Chapter 65

Episode 65 – [ ] vs. The Hero

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“Kou-chan, what do you want for lunch? You’re going to feed Noa-chan all sorts of things, right?”

“Oi, I can hear the malice in your words.”

“You have to give her something delicious to eat. Finding something you truly love isn’t easy, after all.”

“Oi, is this bullying? Or just humiliation?”

Everyone was like this—poking fun at me for saying something embarrassing without thinking.

Ahh, seriously, damn it!

Despite my frustration, preparations for lunch continued.

“No, no, I think it was pretty cool, actually. ‘Find what you love, and I’ll make it for you!’—you need serious resolve to say something like that.”

“Nakajima… You too? Another enemy, huh…”

So, the guys were in charge of cooking, while the girls focused all their attention on Noa.

I mean, it’s fine. If it helps her lower her guard, I won’t complain.

But could we please stop making fun of me already?

“Ugh… I should’ve just kept my mouth shut.”

“Huh? Kou-chan, where are you going?”

“I am off to pick some flowers, madam.”

“Oh my, then do bring back some mountain herbs while you’re at it.”

“Shut the hell up, dumbass!”

With that back-and-forth, I left the campsite for a bit.

I didn’t actually need to use the bathroom, but the atmosphere was getting real awkward.

I figured I’d just kill some time and head back when the girls returned.

Just as I was thinking that—

“Kou-chaaaan! Don’t go slacking off just ’cause you got embarrassed!”

A loud voice echoed from far away.

“Shut up, shut up! I told you, it’s the toilet!”

I shouted back on impulse and slid down the slope in front of me.

A river came into view.

If I kept up the bathroom excuse, they probably wouldn’t follow me.

—At least, that’s what I thought.

“Ah.”

I landed right in front of a group of strangers.

Despite their mismatched armor, their movements were way too synchronized.

Crap.

I just stumbled into a bunch of seriously troublesome people.

“Enemy spotted!”

A voice rang out, and the armored group immediately spread out.

Oh, for fuck’s sake! Instant enemy declaration, huh?

If I panic now, I’m playing right into their hands.

Stay calm. Assess the situation.

I took a deep breath—

And then…

“…Hah?”

My lack of vocabulary betrayed me.

Did I just turn into some small-time punk from the countryside?

Next thing you know, I’ll be spouting, “Oi, who the hell are you? You wanna fight, huh?” like some generic thug.

Screw it. Let’s get this over with.

Since they already had their swords drawn, I needed a weapon too.

I pulled two spears from my magic bag and lowered my stance.

Shit. They don’t look the slightest bit intimidated.

As I braced myself—

“So, you’re Black Armor? If someone like you is here, that means you know something. Hand over the demon, now.”

The youngest-looking one stepped forward, acting all high and mighty.

Black hair, black eyes.

He looked like one of us—another “otherworlder.”

A noble, maybe?

His armor was absurdly flashy, with a ridiculous helmet that barely covered his face.

What the hell is that thing?

“Hah? Who the hell are you? Never learned to introduce yourself before barking orders? Pretty damn arrogant for a brat.”

Since these guys were already hostile, there was no point in being polite.

I shot back with some sharp words, and—

“Hah! Why should I have to introduce myself to you? I am the ‘Hero’! Someone like you—a mere lowlife—doesn’t deserve—”

…Oh.

So this guy is the Hero.

I didn’t get a good look at his face last time.

In short, he’s another one of us.

A person who should have the same values as me.

In that case—there’s no need for mercy.

“Oh, so you’re the ‘Hero,’ huh? Well then—go die.”

Without a second thought, I let go of my spear and drove my fist straight into his face.

He went flying, foaming at the mouth.

Even that wasn’t enough.

Because people have died because of him.

“Do you have any idea how many people have died because of you, huh? I’ll send you flying for every single one of them, so brace yourself, Hero-sama. If you think that one punch was all, you’re dead wrong.”

I spat those words out, but it didn’t seem like he heard me.

Damn coward. Grow a spine.

Just as I was thinking that—

“You bastard! All units, attack!!”

“Tch! Yeah, figured this would happen!”

I retrieved my spears and flipped them so the blades pointed backward.

This way, I wouldn’t accidentally kill anyone.

Unless they’re really fragile, in which case… Well, tough luck.

“Alright, you bastards! I’ll knock every last one of you out!”

With a roar, I swung both spears, taking down the enemies around me.

They were strong.

Some dodged my swings, while others deflected them with their swords.

When I thrust forward, they twisted their bodies to avoid fatal wounds.

These guys weren’t just random mooks.

They were trained soldiers—knights, maybe.

And they were far too accustomed to fighting humans.

Their movements reminded me of Ed, the guy I fought before.

Even though I wasn’t going all-out, their sheer determination was insane.

I clicked my tongue internally and kept swinging my spears.

“Zea!”

“Guh…!”

I struck one of them down into the river and readied my spear once more.

Around me, dozens of soldiers had their weapons drawn. I was alone.

Not good. This was seriously bad.

To be honest, I’d have to kill to break through this.

At this rate, I’d be overwhelmed.

And then—

“Black Armor! Face me in battle!”

The hero I had just sent flying was back on his feet, sword at the ready.

He had been foaming at the mouth just moments ago, yet here he was, standing. Some serious determination.

“Hah! I’ll give you that much—you’ve got the will to get back up!”

I played along with the energy in the air, going all in on the atmosphere.

Taking on this one guy was a hell of a lot better than dealing with the whole crowd.

If I crushed him completely, I could break the morale of the others.

Alright, that’s the plan.

The only problem… is that he’s a hero.

I had to take him down before he fired off a charged particle cannon or something.

While I was thinking about all that—

“Seeeiiiii!”

“Haah!?”

His battle cry was impressive, but his movements were a mess.

His feet flailed, and he brought his two-handed sword down with brute force.

Full of openings, completely off balance.

And yet—

“What the hell… are you really human?”

He was insanely fast.

It felt like watching a video on fast-forward.

His amateurish movements were the only reason I managed to dodge, but if this guy ever got real training… I’d never be able to avoid him.

“Levels sure are convenient, huh? The more you raise them, the stronger you get. No need to waste time training your body.”

“Ah, I see. Your level’s high thanks to the hero’s buffs. No wonder your movements are a mess.”

“Save the trash talk for after you win, old man.”

This little brat was really getting on my nerves.

I hadn’t expected this.

Just how high did his level have to be to end up like that?

His movements were amateurish, but in terms of sheer speed, he was somewhere between Nishida and Nakajima.

And judging from the wind pressure of his swings, he might even be close to Azuma in raw power.

What a damn monster.

“Suuuuu… haaaaaa…”

I took a deep breath, forcing oxygen into my body to loosen up my tensed muscles.

Spinning my two spears, I brought their tips back to the ready position.

I might not be able to kill someone.

But this wasn’t an opponent I could afford to hold back against, either.

In that case—

“You little brat, I’ll shatter your sword along with that overconfidence of yours!”

I just had to break his weapon.

The magic he used was a light blade.

Most likely, his weapon was the medium for the spell.

Probably. Hopefully.

Please, let that be the case.

Even if he had spares or someone handed him another, I’d just keep breaking them.

“You really think a hero’s weapon is gonna break against some cheap spear of yours, old man?”

“Hah! Keep talking, brat!”

I lunged forward with a battle cry, driving my spear’s tip into his weapon.

He let out a strained “Guh!” but didn’t recoil—he took it head-on.

Yeah, his strength was real, and his reflexes weren’t bad either.

Maybe, thanks to his level, he saw my movements as slow.

If that was the case, then in terms of pure specs, this guy was insanely strong.

“Shaaaah!”

“Quit howling like a damn beast! Stay down, old man!”

The hero ducked low, like he was squatting, dodging my horizontal slash.

Then he swung back, a full-force swing like a baseball bat.

His movements were simple—easy to read.

But damn was he fast.

Dodging entirely wasn’t an option.

“Tch! What a goddamn cheat!”

“The hell!?”

I deflected his sword upward with my spear and dropped low, sweeping his legs.

My black spear groaned with a noise I’d never heard before.

Yeah, I needed to end this fast.

“Draaaah!”

“Gah—!”

He was inexperienced in combat—hell, he didn’t even seem used to brawls.

He took my leg sweep and then a heel drop right on his armor, without even trying to block.

Once his stance was broken, he couldn’t react fast enough.

Otherwise, he would’ve dodged my first punch, too.

Could that be the key to taking him down?

Just as I was thinking that, he swung his sword wildly from the ground.

“Shit…!”

I leapt away, barely gaining distance.

But… he’d only grazed me.

Just a graze.

And yet, my chest plate had a clean cut through it.

It went right through the armor—if I’d dodged any slower, it would’ve been inside me.

Even his reckless swings could be a one-hit kill.

What the hell. This guy was a walking weapon.

“Kill! Kill!”

“Hah! What happened to all that composure, kid?!”

Honestly, I wasn’t exactly calm either.

But I needed him to get even angrier.

The more people let their emotions take over, the simpler their movements became. They stopped thinking.

So, I flipped him off and beckoned him forward with my hand.

“What, didn’t level up enough? C’mon, I’ll teach you how to really fight.”

“Duaaaaahhh!”

The hero raised his sword high and charged straight at me.

Ordinarily, that’d be full of openings.

But, as always, he looked like he was on fast-forward.

Watching him too long would probably mess with my sense of timing.

“Shaaaah!”

Before he could swing down, I made a thrusting motion with my spear.

“Tch!”

He immediately raised his weapon to guard.

But that was just a feint.

I merely slid my hands along the spear, extending my arm forward.

And, just like that, he fell for it—hook, line, and sinker.

“You amateur!”

Gripping near the tip of the spear, I swung the handle in a reverse grip and struck the hero across the side of his face.

He went flying spectacularly, plunging headfirst into the river.

The river wasn’t particularly deep, so I wasn’t too worried about him getting swept away.

“Haa… haa… cough…”

The once-mighty hero stumbled back with labored breaths, looking downright pathetic.

His footing was unsteady, and his head swayed as if he could collapse at any moment.

At this point, there was no way he had any fight left in him.

The fact that he hadn’t passed out was impressive in itself.

“I win.”

I declared, pointing the tip of my spear at him.

Alright, I managed to pull through.

It felt like I had been fighting for an eternity, but in reality, it had probably only been a few minutes.

Seriously, heroes are something else…

Just as that thought crossed my mind—

“—…ro him.”

“Hah?”

“I said restrain him! Stop standing around and grab the Black Armor!”

“What!?”

Oh, come on, that’s cheating!

I wanted to protest, but the situation wouldn’t wait for me.

The soldiers who had been standing around watching suddenly sprang into action, closing in to surround me.

Damn it! With all this commotion, there’s no way Minami hasn’t heard by now.

If I can just hold out a little longer, my comrades will—

“Holy Blade!”

My attention had shifted toward the approaching soldiers, and for just a moment—just one damn moment—I took my eyes off the hero.

By the time I heard his voice and saw the blinding flash of light in my vision… it was already too late.

“…What?”

Behind me, I heard the sound of something piercing the ground—a light, almost effortless thunk.

But I had no memory of letting go of my spear.

Both my hands had been gripping it firmly this whole time…

When I turned to look—

“…Aaaaghhhhh!”

There was my black spear, lodged into the ground.

And hanging from it—gripped tightly, refusing to let go—was my severed left arm.