Xie Chichun - Chapter 18

Xie Zhen had come to the west wing to visit Xie Xuan when he brought up the topic of Tao Shi—

“Did everything go smoothly when you went to Xuanyuan Temple with your uncle that day?” Xie Zhen, a man in his thirties, usually maintained a stern fatherly demeanor and rarely spoke from the heart. When he brought up this topic, his eyes flickered uneasily.

Xie Xuan played dumb. “It went smoothly. The scenery at Xuanyuan Temple is also very beautiful. If it weren’t for those troublemakers, it would have been a happy trip.”

Xie Zhen looked at his ten-year-old daughter and sighed. “Is she… doing well at the temple?”

“Father, are you talking about the Jade Void Hermit?” Xie Xuan asked cautiously.

“Yes.” Xie Zhen seemed uncomfortable. He picked up the teapot and slowly poured tea into a cup. Amid the rising steam, his expression shifted.

“She doesn’t seem to be doing very well. All these years, Father, you’ve never taken us to see her. She’s been living alone in the temple, and she must be very lonely. You know how Sister has always been resentful about what happened back then. Dan and I have never met her, and I couldn’t help but say some harsh things that made her cry.” Xie Xuan twisted the hem of her robe, thinking of Tao Shi holding back her tears, and bit her lip.

“She… cried?”

“Yes.” Xie Xuan was surprised and looked up at Xie Zhen.

Xie Zhen’s eyes showed panic, and he muttered, “She actually cried? She actually… Xuanxuan, what exactly did you say to make her cry?”

“I said that if she didn’t want to raise us, why didn’t she just strangle Dan and me in our cradles back then. I also said she was too heartless to abandon Sister and me, and that if even our own mother didn’t want us, who else would care for us… Father, I just feel wronged. Everyone else has a mother, so why don’t Dan and I have a mother who loves us?” Xie Xuan was genuinely aggrieved. Her feelings toward Tao Shi were complex and conflicted, and she harbored even more resentment toward Xie Zhen. As she spoke, she began to sob.

Xie Zhen’s hand tightened around the teacup, trembling slightly, and a few drops of tea spilled onto the table.

Xie Xuan pretended not to notice and said softly, “Was she really that desperate back then? To heartlessly abandon Dan and me and not come back to see us all these years?”

“It’s my fault for failing her.” Xie Zhen seemed distracted. “Xuanxuan, don’t blame her for being heartless…” He couldn’t bring himself to reveal his true feelings in front of his daughter and swallowed the rest of his words. In his panic, he picked up the teapot again to refill the cup, only realizing what he was doing when the hot tea spilled over and burned his hand. He jerked his hand away, and the teapot and cup fell to the ground, shattering.

Xie Xuan had never seen Xie Zhen like this and watched him uneasily. “Father, are you okay?”

“She… Xuanxuan, you don’t understand what happened back then. Don’t blame her.” Xie Zhen’s emotions were in turmoil. He stood up and began pacing the room, his fists slightly clenched, a stark contrast to his usual gentle and refined demeanor.

Xie Xuan wasn’t about to let him off so easily. She stood up, her gaze intense, and for the first time, she spoke her mind to her father. “If I don’t blame her, should I blame you, Father? Did you treat her poorly, which made her leave home and abandon Dan and me? All these years, she hasn’t come to see us. Is it because she doesn’t want to see you?”

“Xuanxuan!” Xie Zhen suddenly stopped, his eyes dark and turbulent. He said sternly, “Don’t meddle in adult matters.”

Xie Xuan wasn’t about to listen to that.

If adults could resolve their own issues, of course, she wouldn’t need to interfere. But now, Xie Zhen and Tao Shi had made such a mess of things, leaving the mess and pain for her and Xie Dan to bear. The three siblings had all suffered because of what happened back then. Why couldn’t she intervene a little?

Watching Xie Zhen stride out of the room, clearly unsettled, Xie Xuan thought for a moment and then followed him out. Without calling for Fangzhou or the others, she slipped out through a small side door, took a shortcut, and headed toward the Purple Ling Pavilion—

That was where Tao Shi had lived. After the couple divorced, Xie Zhen had moved to the Tangli Courtyard and sealed off the Purple Ling Pavilion.

The Purple Ling Pavilion was now empty except for a few maids and old women who came to clean occasionally. The two-story pavilion stood among several tall fringe trees, naturally cool and shaded, but it also felt particularly desolate.

The place was poorly guarded, and Xie Xuan had sneaked in. Her small figure darted around a few times before she quietly pushed open the door and entered the pavilion.

The main hall was furnished with fine wood and exquisite carvings, but the designs were from years ago. After more than a decade of disuse, some of the red paint had peeled off, making the place look slightly worn.

Xie Xuan glanced around and noticed the dressing table in the inner room. She went over and sat down in the small space behind it, hugging her knees.

Not long after, she heard the door open, and the sound of footsteps shuffling across the floor as Xie Zhen entered.

Xie Xuan sat in the cramped space, hugging her knees and saying nothing.

Everything in the room was exactly as Tao Shi had left it. According to the caretakers, even the positions of the tables and chairs hadn’t been moved. Xie Zhen seemed distraught and didn’t notice Xie Xuan hiding in the shadows. He wandered aimlessly into the inner room, his fingers lingering over the carved bed, the dusty cabinets, and the bookcases. After hesitating for a while, he reached up to the top of a cabinet and took down a long, narrow box.

The box was exquisitely crafted with gold tracery and intricate carvings. Xie Zhen opened the brass clasp and took out a scroll.

The scroll had ivory ends, finely carved. Xie Zhen slowly unrolled it, revealing a painting of a beautiful woman lying lazily in a drunken state. The woman’s profile resembled Tao Shi, her thin gauze clothing outlining her graceful figure. She lay drunk under a fringe tree, her handkerchief fallen to the ground, her robe slipping to reveal half of her chest.

Xie Zhen hung the scroll on the wall and stood there, seemingly lost in thought, not moving for a long time.

Behind the dressing table, Xie Xuan’s heart was in turmoil.

She didn’t fully understand the intricacies of what had happened between Xie Zhen and Tao Shi back then. She had only overheard Lady Han, with a mocking tone, casually mention it to someone after she married into the Jingning Marquisate—

Back then, Tao Shi had been stunningly beautiful. As the daughter of a Grand Tutor, her natural charm combined with her scholarly demeanor had captivated countless noble young men. Among them were Xie Zhen, Han Li’s father Han Sui, and a young general surnamed Song. It was said that the young General Song was handsome and talented, his family background no less impressive than Xie Zhen’s. Even after Tao Shi married Xie Zhen, General Song remained devoted to her and never married.

Later, for some reason, rumors spread that Tao Shi and General Song were having an affair. Xie Zhen, who had somehow heard these rumors, believed them and began to clash with Tao Shi. Xie Zhen’s personality wasn’t straightforward, and fearing the impact on Tao Shi’s health, he kept his suspicions to himself, letting them fester in his heart.

Tao Shi, being a proud and aloof person, guessed that her husband doubted her. Furious, she refused to lower herself to explain, and the two grew increasingly estranged. Later, Xie Zhen attended a banquet at the Luo residence, got drunk, and ended up sleeping with Lady Luo, who was still a virgin at the time. When Lady Luo’s pregnancy became apparent, Xie Zhen could no longer hide it and reluctantly confessed the truth. Tao Shi was even more enraged and insisted on a divorce.

Xie Xuan couldn’t be sure how much of this was true, as Lady Han had always harbored resentment toward Tao Shi and might have been biased when speaking. Moreover, Xie Xuan had only overheard part of the conversation and hadn’t stayed to hear everything.

Now, Xie Zhen had come alone to the Purple Ling Pavilion to reminisce over an old painting. What exactly was he thinking?

Xie Xuan wasn’t entirely sure and didn’t dare to act rashly. As she pondered, she suddenly heard the maids outside shouting something, followed by someone bursting into the room and slamming the door shut.

The noise startled Xie Zhen, who turned to look at the door and his expression changed drastically. “Luo Qi, what are you doing here!”

—Luo Qi was Lady Luo’s maiden name.

The maids outside didn’t dare to barge in and only knocked on the door, pleading, “Madam, please come out! Don’t make things difficult for us. If the master finds out, he’ll kill us! Madam, we beg you!”

“Shut up!” Lady Luo, panting, shouted at the door, “The master is inside. All of you, get lost!”

The maids immediately fell silent, and the outside grew quiet.

But the atmosphere inside the room grew tense.

Xie Zhen looked at Lady Luo, who was supposed to be confined to a remote courtyard for reflection, and his expression grew darker. He said angrily, “Who told you to come here? Are the people watching you all dead? How dare they let you out!”

“Master…” Lady Luo burst into tears, sobbing uncontrollably. “I was wrong, I was wrong!” She crawled forward on her knees and clung to Xie Zhen’s legs, pleading desperately, “Just now, Yue’er secretly came to see me. I couldn’t help it, Master. That matter was a moment of folly for me. I’ll never do it again. Please forgive me.”

Xie Zhen hadn’t forgotten Lady Luo’s malicious intent toward Xie Xuan. He frowned and pushed her away. “Who told you to come to the Purple Ling Pavilion!”

“Master…” Lady Luo didn’t dare to get up and remained kneeling on the ground. “I’ve made a mistake. You can beat me or scold me, and I’ll accept it. But please, don’t come here anymore. Every time you come here, it feels like a knife stabbing my heart.” Seeing Xie Zhen remain silent, she cried even more pitifully. “Was she really that good? Have my ten years of serving you still not been enough to compare to her?”

“There’s no comparison.” Xie Zhen rolled up the scroll and turned to leave, his cold gaze falling on Lady Luo. “You’d better remember the old master’s orders!”

“Master, I only beg for your forgiveness. I’m willing to be punished for as long as it takes.” Lady Luo’s tears fell like broken beads, their sincerity unclear. She stood up and hugged Xie Zhen from behind, her soft body pressing against his back. Her voice was filled with pleading. “Master, will you forgive me?”

She had always been charming, and now she deliberately softened her voice, her plea carrying an inexplicable undertone that made one’s heart tremble. As she cried, Lady Luo’s hands began to wander toward Xie Zhen’s waist.

Behind the dressing table, Xie Xuan had originally planned to take advantage of Xie Zhen’s nostalgia for Tao Shi to push him further. But she hadn’t expected this scene to unfold in the room. She was now extremely embarrassed and unsure whether she should speak up and interrupt.