Xie Chichun - Chapter 19

Xie Xuan had never been close to Lady Luo since childhood. Although they both lived in the Tangli Courtyard, she had never seen Lady Luo and Xie Zhen interact privately. Normally, Xie Zhen was a strict father, and while Lady Luo sometimes pleaded with him, she maintained a sense of decorum in front of the children and never went too far.

She never expected that, in private, Xie Zhen and Lady Luo interacted like this—

Like a concubine using her charms to serve her master, Lady Luo had abandoned all dignity to beg, behaving in a way that was completely unlike what Xie Xuan understood as a marital relationship. It wasn’t a coquettish or tender plea but a desperate, submissive begging, like a stray dog wagging its tail for scraps.

Realizing what Lady Luo was trying to do by reaching for Xie Zhen’s waist, Xie Xuan felt even more awkward. Her mind buzzed, and she almost had the impulse to jump up and run away immediately.

Fortunately, Xie Zhen interrupted Lady Luo’s actions in time, pushing her away so hard that she nearly collided with the square table behind her.

“I can forgive many things, but I will never forgive you for trying to harm Xuanxuan’s life,” Xie Zhen’s expression remained cold and stern. “Luo Qi, all these years, I’ve felt guilty toward you, so I’ve let many things slide. But that doesn’t mean I’ll tolerate your recklessness indefinitely. Xuanxuan is Qingqing’s child. I’ve already failed as a father, and I won’t let her suffer even more.”

“Qingqing?” Lady Luo’s pleading and seduction had no effect. Hearing this name, she let out a bitter laugh. “Qingqing? How intimate you sound, Master!”

“That’s none of your concern. Luo Qi, I’ve told you before, if you behave yourself and take care of the children, you’ll remain the mistress of the Duke’s residence. That’s what I owe you. But don’t even think about meddling in matters related to Qingqing.”

“Hah! Qingqing… Is she so important in your heart? Even these old, broken things she left behind, you won’t let anyone touch them! Master, what am I lacking compared to her? For you, I, a proper young lady, got pregnant and endured the ridicule of others. All these years, haven’t I done it all for you!” Lady Luo’s tears streamed down her face as she clung to Xie Zhen’s arm. “I told you back then, for you, I’d even be willing to be a concubine. Do you understand my heart?”

“I know. But—” Xie Zhen’s voice carried a hint of guilt. “Qingqing is Qingqing. No one can replace her. I’ve already felt immense guilt over what happened back then. You’d better not get involved again.”

The room fell silent for a moment. Xie Zhen stared at the carved bed, seemingly lost in thought, while Lady Luo let out a soft, bitter laugh. “Guilt… Do you regret it? Do you regret being with me back then?” Her tears stopped, and her voice carried a tone of despair.

Xie Xuan, who had been listening in awkward silence, couldn’t help but feel curious. She glanced at Xie Zhen’s face. In the dim light, she saw Xie Zhen suddenly let out a self-mocking laugh. “I do regret it.”

“Xie Zhen!” Lady Luo’s expression changed drastically, and she took a few steps back in disbelief, her face filled with sorrow.

—Those words were like a sharp sword piercing her heart, carving out intense pain.

“I do regret it. I’ve regretted it since the day she left. I’ve regretted it for ten years.” Xie Zhen’s fists were hidden in his sleeves, but his robes trembled uncontrollably. “What happened back then was my fault. Luo Qi, I wronged you, and I wronged her even more. The position of mistress is all I can offer you as compensation. If you want more, I can’t give it. In the past, I was weak and evasive, neglecting Xuanxuan and Dan. From now on… just behave yourself as the mistress.”

He sighed, his gaze lingering on the old items in the room.

But Lady Luo suddenly laughed. “You still care about her, don’t you? Xie Zhen, how could I have fallen in love with someone like you? Do you know what this is called? It’s called wanting to be a saint while acting like a sinner! If you care so much about her, why did you get involved with me back then? Since you took me, how dare you still claim to love her! You—”

The rest of her words were cut off by the loud slap from Xie Zhen.

Xie Zhen seemed both ashamed and furious. He turned to leave in a rage, but Lady Luo, ignoring the stinging pain on her face, rushed forward and hugged him from behind.

Amid her sobs, her shoulders shook, and her voice was soft and pleading. “I did it all… for you.”

“Go back and reflect on your actions. Don’t let the old master find out.” Xie Zhen let out a long sigh and walked away.

Lady Luo followed him a few steps, watching as Xie Zhen left without a hint of reluctance. She seemed to have all the strength drained from her body and collapsed to the ground.

Perhaps the wounds from the earlier beating hadn’t fully healed. Lady Luo pressed a hand to her waist and took a sharp breath, glaring hatefully at the furnishings in the room. In the end, she didn’t have the courage to smash everything in a fit of rage. After sitting there for a long time, she left, looking utterly dejected.

Behind the dressing table, Xie Xuan finally let out a sigh of relief and slumped down in the cramped space.

This was probably the most awkward moment of her life—hiding in the shadows, watching her father and stepmother’s entanglement, unable to intervene or ignore it. She had listened to their entire conversation, feeling as if she were sitting on pins and needles. Xie Zhen was nothing like the strict father she knew, and Lady Luo was far from the dignified mistress she appeared to be. Even the relationship between Xie Zhen and Tao Shi wasn’t what she had previously imagined.

It seemed that Xie Zhen already knew that the past might have been a misunderstanding, but he lacked the courage to confront it or face Tao Shi again. Even toward her and Xie Dan, he had adopted an evasive attitude?

What a pitiful and laughable father!

Xie Xuan lay back, her mind racing with thoughts.

As the sky gradually darkened, Xie Xuan, worried that Fangzhou and the others would be concerned, quietly slipped out of the Purple Ling Pavilion and took a long detour back to the Tangli Courtyard.

The Tangli Courtyard was eerily quiet. Xie Yue was leaning on the windowsill, lost in thought, and it was unclear whether Xie Zhen was inside. Xie Xuan didn’t even dare to go to the east wing and simply returned to her own room, burying herself under the covers.

She felt that, for at least a few days, she wouldn’t be able to face her father, Xie Zhen, properly.

Xie Xuan stayed cooped up in the west wing for several days. Even Xie Jun noticed something was off and asked her several times what was wrong. Xie Xuan couldn’t very well say that she had witnessed an awkward situation, so she could only give vague answers.

Since Lady Luo had been confined, Xie Zhen had been visiting the Tangli Courtyard more frequently. A man in his thirties trying to take care of a ten-year-old daughter naturally seemed clumsy.

However, Xie Xuan was already used to it. With Lady Luo’s annoying face no longer around, she found the quiet main courtyard quite pleasant and was always smiling.

The only one suffering was Xie Yue.

Xie Yue had been raised by Lady Luo since birth. Over the past decade, she had grown up under Lady Luo’s protection. With her mother’s backing, she had always been bold and had often taken advantage of her youth to bully Xie Xuan. Recently, she had suffered a bit at Xie Xuan’s hands and hadn’t yet had the chance to retaliate. Now, with Lady Luo confined, Xie Yue was practically green with envy.

During meals, Xie Yue was also restless. One moment she complained that a dish didn’t taste good, the next she said the soup was too hot. In short, she couldn’t eat and just stared pitifully at Xie Zhen.

Xie Zhen, who had never raised children, could dote on his daughter when he was in a good mood. But now, irritated by Lady Luo’s actions, he had little patience. At first, he tried to coax her, but eventually, he slammed his chopsticks on the table and said, “Eat properly!”

“Dad…” Xie Yue pouted, and tears immediately streamed down her face. “Mom’s not here. I can’t eat.”

“Why can’t you eat?” Xie Zhen frowned.

“When Mom was here, she would serve me food and soup. She knew what I liked to eat…” Xie Yue cautiously glanced at Xie Zhen and whispered, “Dad, can you let Mom come back?”

“No.” Xie Zhen flatly refused again. “Xuanxuan is younger than you, and she doesn’t need anyone to take care of her during meals. As the older sister, you should be more sensible. If there’s nothing wrong with the food, eat it.”

Tears welled up even more in Xie Yue’s eyes. She gave Xie Zhen a pitiful look, then turned her angry gaze toward Xie Xuan.

Xie Xuan, who had been awkwardly avoiding Xie Zhen’s gaze, didn’t care at all. Seeing Xie Yue’s frustration, she happily continued to serve herself more food.